Sexual Orientation

[coasters 4 me]

Ok, some of you may have noticed that I haven't been around much.

 

Well, my parents found out I was Bi, and it didn't go down too well. There was really bad tension for like a month, but now it has started to settle down.

 

It is too long to explain it all, but that's basically what all happened. It is way too long and complicated.

 

YAY, you're back. I'm glad to hear that things are settling down, it sucks how your parents reacted that way in the first place though...

 

 

 

Yea, it has settled down. It finally feels like there is no tension between me and my parents. Just hope it goes ok while on holiday.

 

You need all the support you can get for the 1st couple of years, after that your be going everywhere to enjoy yourself.

 

It's such a shock for parents to find out your gay/bi, Bi is just being greedy , they want you to give them a grandson / daughter.

 

When you tell Parents they are put back so much it takes them ages to figure out, just be strong and everything will work out.

 

I check out the guys at work and everywhere I go, some are stunning.

 

That's what is really hard for my parents probably. They are trying to avoid me from being gay/bi. They don't want me to. But they did say that if I did end up in the end being gay/bi, they would always be there for me. At least that is something.

[quickey]

^ Hope everything is sorted with you and your parents and also that you have good holiday!

 

 

 

I am straight.

[Nrthwnd]

Decades go by - and parents usually remain the same, for the most part.

 

Most of them. Scary to deal with, no matter how many. Or how few.

 

But in time, the love wins out.

 

I hope it does for you and your folks, c 4 m.

 

[speedracer]

That's what is really hard for my parents probably. They are trying to avoid me from being gay/bi. They don't want me to. But they did say that if I did end up in the end being gay/bi, they would always be there for me. At least that is something.

 

You have very cool parents, consider yourself very lucky! They obviously care about you very much, and love you unconditionally, exactly the way it should be. Sounds more like they're concerned about the hate, discrimination and challeges you'll likely have to face, no parent wants to see their kids suffer. Just refreshing to hear their reason is only because they're concerned about you and not because of some book that encourages parents to turn their backs on their own children.

[youthink?]

I'm gay, but haven't told my parents yet. My mom said though that if one of her kids came out to her that she would love them no matter what. But it's my Dad who I'm worried about. He constantly makes fun of gays it makes me sick!

[lapseofreason]

OK, since we have had a lot of good debates in this thread I'll ask for advice.

 

Recently I've began to question what I've been doing with my life. I never even dreamed of myself as gay when I was younger; actually, I didn't really have any relationships with guys either. When I was 18 I moved out here to California; my husband was the first person that I fell in love with; as a result, I married him.

 

A few years later I was working somewhere and I noticed that I was attracted to one of my supervisors, this woman about 10 years older than me. This went on for about 2 years without me saying anything. Along with this, I thought back in time to being nervous around cool teachers that were chicks, etc. and started to realize that I possibly could be bi, or maybe even gay (I still don't know).

 

I ended up quitting that job due to a few issues, and eventually, I found that person on of all places, stupid Myspace, and told her how I felt. She basically told me to fudge off. I eventually got over it but found myself still looking at other women (flight attendants, cocktail waitresses, supermarket cashiers, etc.) and wondering what it would be like to be with them, fantasizing, stuff like that.

 

Finally I told my husband and he flipped out, saying that if I was gay, we needed to get divorced, and he couldn't have me around if I was going out with other women. Apparently in his brain there is gay or not gay and nothing else. I also have realized lately that I care a LOT about him, but, you know... some things don't feel as good as they used to, if you know what I mean; we fight a lot over stupid stuff now; etc.

 

So... I know this is kind of patchy in spots, and hopefully not too confusing, but what the hell can I do about this?

[speedracer]

I'm gay, but haven't told my parents yet. My mom said though that if one of her kids came out to her that she would love them no matter what. But it's my Dad who I'm worried about. He constantly makes fun of gays it makes me sick!

 

Don't feel too bad, my dad did the same thing when I was growing up, thought for sure he'd disown me. But he surprised me, took him time to get used to it, now doesn't ever make those comments around me anymore.

 

^^ Hon, I'd check around for a local support group for questioning bi's, bet you'd find alot of others like you in the exact same situation, would really be surprised. Not saying you're bi or gay (I hate labels anyway!), haven't even had an opportunity to find out for yourself. But it always helps to talk with others in similiar situations that can offer ideas and support for what your going through. Doesn't sound like you're too happy, owe it to yourself to find out just what does make you happy. Tough situation, sending positive thoughts to you, best of luck!

[terrancew_hod]

OK, since we have had a lot of good debates in this thread I'll ask for advice.

 

Recently I've began to question what I've been doing with my life. I never even dreamed of myself as gay when I was younger; actually, I didn't really have any relationships with guys either. When I was 18 I moved out here to California; my husband was the first person that I fell in love with; as a result, I married him.

 

A few years later I was working somewhere and I noticed that I was attracted to one of my supervisors, this woman about 10 years older than me. This went on for about 2 years without me saying anything. Along with this, I thought back in time to being nervous around cool teachers that were chicks, etc. and started to realize that I possibly could be bi, or maybe even gay (I still don't know).

 

I ended up quitting that job due to a few issues, and eventually, I found that person on of all places, stupid Myspace, and told her how I felt. She basically told me to fudge off. I eventually got over it but found myself still looking at other women (flight attendants, cocktail waitresses, supermarket cashiers, etc.) and wondering what it would be like to be with them, fantasizing, stuff like that.

 

Finally I told my husband and he flipped out, saying that if I was gay, we needed to get divorced, and he couldn't have me around if I was going out with other women. Apparently in his brain there is gay or not gay and nothing else. I also have realized lately that I care a LOT about him, but, you know... some things don't feel as good as they used to, if you know what I mean; we fight a lot over stupid stuff now; etc.

 

So... I know this is kind of patchy in spots, and hopefully not too confusing, but what the hell can I do about this?

 

You definitely need to talk to a support group or a professional to help sort out these feelings. From your post it looks like you're telling the wrong people about your feelings and it's created a lot of drama for you. I mean telling your husband, although he's supposed to be your biggest support, wasn't the best thing to do; things like that will definitely put your relationship on the skids. Telling him that you may be interested in the same sex is definitely damaging to his ego.

 

One thing you do need to realize is that no matter what, you have to live your life for you and no one else. I'm going to go out on the limb and say that you've probably had these feelings for a long time but you've suppressed them, even maybe thinking getting married will get rid of them. Now you're finding out that that's not the case. That comes from not being totally honest with yourself.

 

Marriage will make any situation about identity very complicated, because it's not just your decision--it's a partnership that you've entered into and there's another person involved. Hopefully you don't have kids, because then it gets really difficult for you.

 

But still you have to be honest with yourself, because it's nothing worse than going through life and you're living for other people's expectations and you're not happy. You'll probably need marriage counseling since you let the cat out of the bag too. It's sounds like you're on the road to acting on your feelings so you both better come to some resolution now, even if it does mean you'll end up divorced.

 

I knew a guy that I worked out with that was bi, yet he struggled with his identity; I think he was actually gay but he so scared of the lifestyle he barely acted on it or if he did he would sneak around and not tell anyone. Sneaking around is the worst way to handle it; it puts you at risks for some risky behavior. We met some guys that both were married with kids that were now in a gay relationship together. They told him that they saw a lot of them in him and he just needs to learn to be honest with himself and he needs to talk to someone professional about his feelings... if you don't they have a way of coming out and sometimes it's not the most positve way. That of course freaked him out even more. I don't talk to the guy now because he was a flake, but I hope he's taking care of his issues--but I doubt it because I saw him self destructing when we hung out.

 

Well this was a "War and Peace"-sized post! Hope some of it helps you and good luck.

 

Terry

[BiCoastal Kid]

I agree with Terry, you need to speak with somebody who understand what you're going through, even if you don't know them.

 

I hope your husband can come to realize that one's sexual attractions don't define all of their affection.

[sweetmelissa]

Im straighter than a perfect line.

 

But I would so do Brad Pitt.

 

Yeah that's totally not gay.

 

I'm STRAIGHT.

 

...............But I would so do Kelly Clarkson.

[sweetmelissa]

I WOULD have done Britney Spears when she was still hot and not quite complete white trash like she is now...oh and she's fat now too!

 

Elissa "she better be pregnant or else she really is fat!" Alvey

[USRoadTripper]

I find it really funny that we have three times as many Hoosexuals and Hobosexuals as we do lesbians! haha

 

-Julie

[Freefallbestrideever]

Straight, but with the way i act sometimes with my friends we've been called gay

[c0@ster]

I'm gay, my mom's a lesbian (and she has a partner who we live with), and my aunt's a lesbian (and she has a partner as well.)

 

So pretty much my family is (in Mark's words) a freaking gay fest. =]

[Flo3:16]

<---------- Take a wild guess.

[terrancew_hod]

^you lost a bet?

 

Heehee, CoverGirl doesn't cover boy. M*A*C is the only way to do it if you're gonna go out in public. Sorry used to have drag queens as friends... they would be very upset right now if they saw that picture. One kid came up to one of my friends and they looked like that pic; they asked how they could improve their look. My friend handed him a washrag and a bar of soap. Oops! ).

 

Terry "giving more information that most people don't need to know" Weaver

[Flo3:16]

I didn`t lose a Bet. This was just something my Friends wanted me to do for a long time. So this Carnival i said: "Alright. But i`ll only do this once." Suprisingly enough i really had fun doing it. Never thought this could be so much fun. I´m planning to do this again on Halloween. So Tips will be helpful.

[terrancew_hod]

^let me give you two links then:

 

http://www.dragpageantry.com - It's a smaller site but they are pretty friendly if you ask them about any newbie questions you have. There may be a few threads that have some info in them. You may see me pop in from time to time to check things out.

 

As a last resort: http://www.carriefairfield.com - This is a fairly big site, and has members from all over the world. Tell them you are from out of the country and wanted to know any tips... they should be able to help you. The members there are rather cut throat and the site is undermoderated so you have to tread carefully. Don't even bother posting an avatar pic, join, ask the question and leave! (Don't mention my name either--heh heh. Long but good story behind that one! But that's part of the reason Dragpageantry got started )

 

Hope that helps you look your best come halloween.

 

Terry

[Flo3:16]

Thanks register there soon.

[c0@ster]

aaaaw only 7 lesbians!? *tear*

]':

[christianscoasters]

Straight, but with the way i act sometimes with my friends we've been called gay

 

What a coincidence.

[Neogreeneyez]

I like big butts and I cannot lie....

 

on females

[philobat]

This poll is so old but I just had to do it! I don't have a lot of time (like Robb & Alissa) to run around and do roller coasters for a living (I know I sound bitter- and I am!)

 

Anywhoo I wouldn't look gay with a wiener in my mouth! Yet I am gay.

 

And so is anyone else who has read my reply! NOT!

[Groteslurf]

^ lol

 

As far as I know, I'm 100 % straight.

[BiCoastal Kid]

Anywhoo I wouldn't look gay with a wiener in my mouth! Yet I am gay.