Sexual Orientation

[rollercoasterbuff]

Ill be honest. I am not straight. I put it that way cause Im not proud of it. I almost committed suicide I was so unhappy with myself. I have sort of come to terms with it now and that I cant change who I am. I just Hate not ever having a partner....it makes me really depressed every once in a while. Im glad to see that I am not the only one on these forums though. All the other people that posted that they were gay on here really gave me the courage to do it...

[dmaxsba2408]

^ Glad to see you have come to terms with it at such a young age. Knew I was gay around the time I was in the 6th grade. When all the other guys were starting to look at girls and I found myself looking at guys instead. Lived my life as a lie all through high school and beyond. Had girl friends, almost got married. Didn't deal with my true self till I was 25. Just didn't want to admit it. Almost went over the edge many many times in the drunken years running from it. Still to this day sometimes when I come home from work to an empty life I often think about ending all. Don't know what keeps me going. Sit at home alone running it all through my head trying to figure out what I did to deserve this. It can be so depressing being the type of gay man I am. I don't fit in with and don't enjoy being around the stereo typical gay crowd. They type more often than not portrayed on TV. All my friends are straight and if anyone meets me they assume I am also. I don't try to hide it and I don't have any problems telling anyone at any time that I am gay. Usually comes out when someone who doesnt know me very well want to hook me up with a "girl friend" they are trying to find a boyfriend for.

 

Very lonely! SUCKS!

[rollercoasterbuff]

Yea....it really truely does suck. Another thing I hate....and this isn't meant to get an argument starter, this is just a personal opinion....but I hate it when people say that you are gay by choice. In some cases...yea..maybe...but there is no way in hell I chose this path. It deffinately chose me.

[xascher]

^ very true, but I don't think it sucks so bad.

I have great friends, and relatives who are... what some would call "flaming gays" but they are the funniest nicest people I've met, and there have been a few breakdowns on the subject of 'I chose/It chose', but to be honest, in the end, we have found not to care. Even I'll get enough courage to say it now, I know that I'm not straight. Even though most would say I'm just a teenager joking around, I know what I say. And I don't care if I chose to be gay, of If I knew I always was. I have friends, (Straight, Gay, and Bi), that will always support, and not be shallow enough to judge me for what I am. And If you don't have such friends, know that you always have the sympathy of others.

[terrancew_hod]

^^I'm sure it's really tough to deal with questions of sexuality during your teenage years, especially with all the pressure to be accepted. It boils down to you HAVE to love yourself and accept you for who you are. Know that are others going through the same things you are so you aren't alone.

 

I'm pretty sure there youth gay/bi/lesbian groups in your area that have an anonymous helpline you can call; maybe they can answer any questions you have or maybe give you someone you can just talk things out with.

 

Remember this is your life, and how you live it is up to you. As long as you are ok with what you do with it, you will definitely be fine.

 

Terrance

[Nrthwnd]

Hang in there with life, be honest with yourself, and try not to lie about it at all, unless there are 'special circumstances' involved.

 

Finding and having a partner is just as tough for non-gay peeps as it is for gay peeps, y'know?

 

You just never know where and when "IT" will happen, lol.

 

In time....

[speedracer]

^ exactly, I was going to say the same thing! Don't associate being gay with being lonely guys, straights go through the same thing too. Only difference is they have more opportunities and options to meet someone whereas our options are significantly more limited. But the feelings are exactly the same, no one likes to be alone.

 

Don't even go around feeling that just cause you're gay means you are doomed to be alone and miserable. Too many times people think all they need is a relationship to feel happy, fullfilled and accepted. If you go seeking a relationship with that expectation, you're setting yourself up for failure and misery, cause the true honest happiness you're looking for can only come from within yourself.

 

Nothing and nobody external will ever make you truly happy, too many guys I know are in unhealthy toxic relationships only because they don't want to be alone and put the responsibility on someone else for their own happiness. If you're happy with and accept yourself just the way you are, people will be naturally drawn to you. I know if I meet an instantly needy clingy guy, it's a total turn off since I know he'll be expecting me to be responsible for his own happiness. I'd much rather meet someone who's already happy with himself and with his own life, and is only looking for someone to compliment that. It's a long hard road learning to love and accept yourself (that includes being proud of yourself and who you are!), but it's the only way any of us will ever achieve the real true honest happiness and healthy relationships we all want in our lives. It's not impossible guys, just takes time and alot of hard work, I know I have high hopes that it'll all be worth it someday.

[Jayjay719]

I am straight but I have no problem with gay people. I have friends that are gay and I'm fine with it. No one else in my family is fine with it. But I agree, you don't choose to be gay. But, everyone should be proud of who they are. It's a sad world that people can't accept the gay community. There's my two cents. ( I always wanted to say that lol.)

[dmaxsba2408]

Guess I should make an amend to my last post, have to admit I don't have any problems getting dates. That is not where "my" loneliness comes in. The problem is the quality of the dates. I seem to attract what do not want in a relationship. That would be girls. Both the male and the female variates. I am looking for my equal, a man. Those of us gays and I hate this phrase but I can think of no other way to put it, those of us gays that are straight acting have a very hard time finding each other. When I walk into a sports bar with my friends I know that I am not the only gay guy in there, problem is which one of the guys other than myself is gay. If the guy is also looking for "that" other gay man like I am, he would look right past me just like I looked right past him. That is where my loneliness comes from. Nothing needy about me in anyway is projected to anyone face to face, if anything what I project in person is solid confidence wherever I go and everything I do. Here in the anonymous world of forums it is just easier to let out some of my inner thoughts and aggravations with being what I am and that is gay.

[terrancew_hod]

^You know, if you're not happy inside, it's gonna show to others in what you do. People pick up on that no matter how you try to hide it.

 

If you're lonely, then you gotta figure out things to fulfill you. A relationship won't do that. I alone right now, but I sure ain't lonely. I'm doing things and going places where I can enjoy myself; and it always happens... when you aren't looking and you're in your own element they tend to start showing up... although they're looking to do things I ain't trying to hear at that point in time .

 

I'm just glad I live in a city where there are different places you can go for different clientele. Most cities in the midwest have a bar where everyone is lumped into, a lesbian bar and a leather bar. You'll have a hard time finding "that" person. At least there are gay sports bars, restaurants, pool halls, gyms, dance clubs and bowling alleys I can go to here. I just stay away from the "retired mens" places and nights because those old gents get out of hand when I pass through to get something to eat.

 

Anyway, that's most I've typed in a while. Gotta bust these pushups out before work. There's a major beach party I'm planning on attending on south beach this weekend... been working my butt off in this gym to get in shape for this summer with my straight friend who is in love with himself (never seen a straight man stare at himself in the mirror so much!) so this weekend should be a progress report on how my program is going.

[CycloneMan]

I have an amazing girl friend that I love to the end of time. But I have had a little crush on one of my guy friends, but not anymore. Hmmm.

 

-Dainan "I'm happy with who I'm with though" Rafferty

[supertrooper]

I'm gay...I have been for quite some time now. I've been with my boyfriend for 11 years...we met when I was just 21....and yes, I still refer to him as my boyfriend. We don't squaredance, so we're not "partners", "lover" sounds trashy, and he's definitely not my "husband" (I doubt we would marry even if we could). I just wish he liked coasters and theme parks as much as I do, and he probably wishes I liked the NFL as much as he does.

 

Oh, and neither of us gets into the whole pride thing either. I was just born like this, it's nothing that I've accomplished that I should be proud of. I am proud of graduating from college...but I'm not proud of having hazel eyes, brown hair, or being gay....I just am. Although we did visit Montreal during gay pride, and it was a blast.

[Calaway Park]

^ I never undderstood what a homophobe is s afraid of. I mean, sure, it can be a little weird, but it doesn't mean all gays are bad people who stare at groins all day and have lisps and go shopping at Hollister.

 

But I am straight, I have a girlfriend, and she likes both so it's really 'cool'

 

I shop at Hollister....

I've only told one of my best friends She never cared, but... yeah. My loser cousin read one of my conversations on AIM and found out -_-.

[speedracer]

I am looking for my equal, a man. Those of us gays and I hate this phrase but I can think of no other way to put it, those of us gays that are straight acting have a very hard time finding each other.

 

Trust me, you're not the only one who feels this way, doesn't have to be a curse:

 

http://www.straightacting.net/phpbb/

 

Not sure what the scene is like in Dayton, but I imagine options are pretty limited. I'd say try places other than bars or the internet, the worst places to find honest and for real guys. See if there's any local activity or volunteer groups to join up, better way to meet or make contacts with other like-minded individuals looking for a more meaningful connections and common interest with a hot guy just like you.

 

http://www.daytonlgbtcenter.com/resources.php?category=20

 

http://www.gaydayton.org/organizations.htm

[DenDen]

Yep! I'm still gay.

[CoasterExpert13]

Those of us gays and I hate this phrase but I can think of no other way to put it, those of us gays that are straight acting have a very hard time finding each other. When I walk into a sports bar with my friends I know that I am not the only gay guy in there, problem is which one of the guys other than myself is gay. If the guy is also looking for "that" other gay man like I am, he would look right past me just like I looked right past him.

 

^Thats the way I feel at times, that I won't be able to find that "straight acting guy"...I agree, I dislike the pharse as well but because thats how i'm labeled by friends and family, I guess there is no other way to say it. I had a situation happen to me the other day, when a friend of my sister's found out I was gay, she said "You can't be!" I said "Why not?" She said "Because you act straight!" I wanted to say, "What the hell is acting straight and acting gay?" but I left it alone. I don't understand why majority of the people I come across on a daily bases wether in person or on the net, believe that being gay mean your flighty, wear tight clothes, switch when you walk, lisp when you talk ect... because I don't.

[terrancew_hod]

Um,

 

I hear a lot of talk about "straight acting", but I'm not hearing anything about having someone with common interests, goals, etc. If you're too busy trying to get someone based on their outward appearance in public instead of what's goin on inside, then you always gonna come up empty handed and lonely. I date different types of people, not particularly because of outward appearance, but there's something about their personality I like. And you're definitely in if we can hold a good conversation.

 

I'm a big old kid if nothing else whose interests include, comic book reading, coaster riding, road trips, bowling, "old school" computer games, building computers (well before I got a mac), cult and blaxplotation movies, weight lifting, and house music. Nothing real serious and mature in that list; but then that's probably why I don't look like I'm gonna hit 40 next year and people get a shock when they look at my ID.

 

I don't watch sports because I get hynotized watching tv (tuning people out) and it wastes hours of my time when i could be doing something else. And people say I have no sense when I'm in a good mood and stay out of my way when I'm in a bad mood.

 

Now when I meet someone, they gotta be interested in one of the above else I know it's not gonna work. Notice I didn't say how they gotta act; that's superficial and never works. They can have a little sugar in the tank as long as they don't like wearin dresses... that's where i'll draw the line. I like my men as men.

[ginzo]

^^^ I used to really like house music, but not so much these days. I've seen nearly all the major house DJs: Derrick Carter, Sneak, Terry Mullan, Ian Pooley, etc.

 

More recently I prefer the kind of music you'd hear on the Jazzanova Show or Worldwide with Gilles Peterson.

 

I wouldn't mind seeing Derrick play again. He can be really good when he's not too drunk.

[speedracer]

^^ I personally don't look at it as being superficial, just a personal preference. There has to be at least that physical attraction first before anything more, I'm most likely not going to approach or pursue someone that I'm not particularly attracted to. I agree a great smile and warm personality go along way with me too, but I'm real big on chemistry. And if they just don't catch my eye first and get my motor running, not much of a chance I'll be interested in pursuing anything more than just a friendship. Absolutely nothing at all wrong with effeminate guys either, alot of guys find it a total turn on, just not wired that way and not my personal type.

 

Not just a gay thing either, str8 guys have a personal types too they find attractive. May prefer more effeminate women, or more strong/butch, redheads, blonds, etc. Just human nature to be attracted to different types, nothing shallow or superficial at all, good thing too since we all can't be A&F models.

[GeorgiaDawg278]

Honestly, I have no problem with gay people. Though I am not one myself (straight as an arrow), I don't understand why people are homophobic.

 

Can gays be heterophobic?

[snuggles]

Still playin' it str8.

[sfmmFREAK]

On HBO, they had some documentary, and they showed 5 homophobic people gay porn, and then they showed 5 people who have no problem with gay people gay porn. The homophobic people were stimulated (even though they denyed it) by the porn, and the people who had no problem with gay people had no reaction. I thought that was funny.

[rollercoasterbuff]

I personally have been feeling better lately. I actually made a few gay friends. I LOVE talking to them all. It is nice to hear all your guys' points of views.

unfortunately for me, I just found out that the junior class is talking about me being gay at school. I told some of them that I wasnt tho...even tho I am. I am out...but only to a few people.

Things are looking better and Im feeling better about myself...I just wish i could get a boyfriend.

[CoasterExpert13]

Um,

 

I hear a lot of talk about "straight acting", but I'm not hearing anything about having someone with common interests, goals, etc. If you're too busy trying to get someone based on their outward appearance in public instead of what's goin on inside, then you always gonna come up empty handed and lonely. I date different types of people, not particularly because of outward appearance, but there's something about their personality I like. And you're definitely in if we can hold a good conversation.

 

I'm a big old kid if nothing else whose interests include, comic book reading, coaster riding, road trips, bowling, "old school" computer games, building computers (well before I got a mac), cult and blaxplotation movies, weight lifting, and house music. Nothing real serious and mature in that list; but then that's probably why I don't look like I'm gonna hit 40 next year and people get a shock when they look at my ID.

 

I don't watch sports because I get hynotized watching tv (tuning people out) and it wastes hours of my time when i could be doing something else. And people say I have no sense when I'm in a good mood and stay out of my way when I'm in a bad mood.

 

Now when I meet someone, they gotta be interested in one of the above else I know it's not gonna work. Notice I didn't say how they gotta act; that's superficial and never works. They can have a little sugar in the tank as long as they don't like wearin dresses... that's where i'll draw the line. I like my men as men.

I date different people to but I prefer guys that are not girly, if I wanted to date someone that acts like that, then why not just date a girl then...right? I do look for personaliy and common interest...but If i'm not attracted to the person, then whats the point?

[Krazykral10]

still gay....yup....yea!