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TPR's 2012 China Trip!


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TPR is currently in China on another amazing adventure!

 

Follow along with us on our Facebook and Twitter page:

 

http://www.facebook.com/themeparkreview

 

So far, we've done one day of credit whoring through some pretty Chinese parks, and a day of "culture" - below are some trip reports and videos... more to follow!

 

Theme Park Review's China Trip has begun!

 

Here's our plane! We are on our way to China by way of Tokyo!

 

Here's our first Chinese credit! Lol!

 

We are 99% sure someone is living in that house under the coaster!

 

You can see the ride is WELL maintained!

 

 

Sad panda is sad.

 

Angry peeing baby is angry!

 

We just rode a Chinese knock-off SLC. IT TRIED TO KILL US!!!

 

 

It may *look* like a Vekoma SLC... But it's not!

 

Next up! This dilapidated mouse coaster at the dilapidated 2008 Olympic Kids Park!

 

This roller coaster has beez in the trap, beez beez in the trap!

 

BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like Chinese Food in China!!!

 

Beijing World Park with Chinese knock-off #MagicKingdom Castle!

 

I don't know what this 5D movie is, but I guarantee you'll come out of it REALLY f**ked up!!!

 

We're in China and we found a camel!

 

And where there is a camel, there is camel toe!!!

 

"Engrish!"

 

What do you think? Is that tea or urine? Should we drink it?

 

China really seems to have a strange fetish with the penis!

 

BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like Chinese food in China even at breakfast!

 

Just passed creepy abandoned Chinese knock-off #Disneyland that never got built.

 

Today the role of "Brazilian Tour Guide" in China is Elissa! Obrigado!

 

Theme Park Review at the Great Wall Of China!

 

How does TPR do Great Wall of China? Via Alpine Coaster, of course!

 

"Lift Hill: The Ride"

 

TPR on Lift Hill: The Ride at the Great Wall Of China.

 

Now THIS is how you do the Great Wall!

 

Oh, Scottish Steve... Not again!!!

 

And this is where old alpine coaster cars go to die!

 

Culture credit!!!

 

Squid on a stick, anyone?

 

BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food still tastes like Chinese food in China!!!

 

I totally just fed this bear!

 

"Work continues on the Great Wall Of China..."

 

"That's right! TPR does culture... For about 25 minutes!"

 

"We totally just bought Plants Vs Zombies toys! Who wants one?"

 

"Today's mystery meat... Lemur!"

 

Elissa Alvey - "Tour Guide!"

 

"Just Say Mao!"

 

Winner "Sexiest belly in China" award.

 

Forbidden City... Yup.

 

"We love culture day!!!"

 

Forbidden Planet... Yup.

 

Turtle.

 

This was the BEST thing to happen all day!!! Story time - our guide is explaining stuff at the Forbidden City to our group. We see this random Chinese guy drawing something on a plate. We're all "WTF?" About five minutes later, random Chinese guy presets this plate to Brian... Which honestly is a pretty good drawing. He asks 100 wan ($15), and really, just look at the plate. Look at Brian. How could you say no??? What we want to figure out is... Out of all of us in the group, why did he choose Brian to draw???

 

Lots of hot Emperor sex happened here.

 

Could Larry's shirt be any more loud and obnoxious? VOTE NOW!

 

Splash Mountain.

 

No caption needed!

 

BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food once again tastes like Chinese food in China!

 

Oh, no! We've been put to work in a silk factory!!! We have to make 230,000 rugs before we are allowed to ride our next roller coaster!

 

Do you know what this is? Answer correctly and you could win a bag-o-crap!

 

Silk is really just worm poop!

 

"Hi, I'm a puppet."

 

"What??? No silk obnoxious orange???"

 

"This is more like it!"

 

Elissa has her own personal silk shopping escort!

 

Yay! Chinese Pizza Hut!

 

BREAKING NEWS!!! Chinese food tastes like pizza in China!!!

Edited by robbalvey
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Splash Mountain.

 

Ha, this looks better than any of the Disney versions!

 

No caption needed!

 

I see a very sad Mario in this plate.

 

I like the roller coasters so far, really a great showcase of China's best. This looks like it's an awesome trip.

#Breaking:chinesefoodtastelikechinesefoodeveninchina#chinese#hashtags

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This was the BEST thing to happen all day!!! Story time - our guide is explaining stuff at the Forbidden City to our group. We see this random Chinese guy drawing something on a plate. We're all "WTF?" About five minutes later, random Chinese guy presets this plate to Brian... Which honestly is a pretty good drawing. He asks 100 wan ($15), and really, just look at the plate. Look at Brian. How could you say no??? What we want to figure out is... Out of all of us in the group, why did he choose Brian to draw???

 

No caption needed!

 

 

Wow. That's not what I wanted for my fifteen minutes of fame on TPR.

 

I certainly won't find a better souvenir on this trip than this plate.

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Those coasters look scary in the sense that they could fall apart at any time. And it's good to know that Chinese food tastes like Chinese food everywhere!
That's what makes chinese coasters so authentic, in the US we ride coasters to get the thrill without the actual risk of death, in China, you get actual risk of death! That SLC ripoff would scare me far more than the most extreme crazy coaster anywhere in this country.
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The slc knockoff looks like something you would build in rollercoaster tycoon and you are just happy it even makes it all the way back to the station.

The craziest thing is that those knock-off SLCs like the one at Crab Island keep being built! Shibaolai Amusement Equipment has installed another one of those (terrible transitions and stalling included), which is apparently opening in October.

 

Ironically, while most Chinese amusement companies reverse-engineer rides and make them worse, there's one instance of the Shibaolai SLC layout that actually looks better! It's called Dragon Rider and it's located at Floraland in Chengdu. Check out this photo, courtesy of Vertical Horizons -

 

 

If I'm not mistaken, one of the parks on the trip is Floraland. The transitions on this coaster look to be a lot smoother than the ones on the Shibaolai coasters, though that sidewinder looks rather crooked. Hopefully it will be a better experience.

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These trips look like a ton of fun!

 

I've never ridden an SLC, but that just looks awful. The airtime hill reminded me of something you'd find on a very rough wooden coaster. I would honestly love to ride that spinning coaster. It looks like some there's some good spinning on the ride!

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