Relationships

[Goliath513]

^ So she's a tease, and a liar, yet still a good friend? Dude, this is just a thought, but you may wanna reevaulate your standards for friendship.

She didn't want to hurt be by letting me know earlier, but when I told her how I honestly felt about her, she decided it was time to let the truth out. I don't blame her for not wanting to tell me when she first got here (on Thursday). Besides, she lives out of state and she has lots of guys going for her, so I guess it would be hard to make a long distance relationship work out. I would have done it for her, but we decided we are not meant for each other. I just dropped her off at the bus stop to take her to the airport since she is leaving today, and now it's time to move on.

 

We want the best for each other, but we just cannot be. I have a feeling this is for the best of us. What timing for her to get another boyfriend...just before she comes out to visit me when she led me to believe we might be.

[Real]

If I could offer advice - relationships are work. Period.

 

What you put in is often what you get out - especially if what you put in you enjoy then what you get will be 10 fold better. But thats not to say if you work at any relationship itll work out. But if you put in work and not be a total lazy ass and it doesnt work out at least you know you put in the effort.

 

Also, dont hide expectations!!! Dont wait for that someone to do that one thing you want them to do without telling them thinking if it happens they must be the one. Just be honest. Drop hints. But never assume anything and dont hide expectations. You each need to know up front what you expect or are expecting. If both of you love each other when you talk about expecations in a lot of instances it only helps you understand the other persons desires and wishes better and better helps you equip yourself to take care of the other.

 

I missed that boat for a year and nearly lost my fiance. Now that we are alot more honest, open and forgiving we have never been better.

[Goliath513]

^ Yup. I leave for college the day after I get back from the East Coast trip.

 

^^ Honesty is the key, which she didn't have the courage to tell. It was only after I was straight up with honesty about my feelings for her that she decided it was time for me to know the truth.

[HAYASHI]

my outlook, and plan on bf's/gf's ...

 

if your under 21, don't make love in relationships a priority. you have greater challeges and opportunities waiting for you, ie. school, personal identity, independent goals.

 

if your in your mid- 20's, explore and DATE! doesn't have to be a long term commitment. this is your opportunity to explore your like's and dislike's in a person. sure there will be hurt and challenges along the way, but it's part of growing up and gaining confidence when the right person comes along.

 

try not to spend your early and prime adult life on finding happiness in someone else. cliche as it may sound, find happiness on YOUR OWN doings/accomplishments in life.

 

with that said. im 25, in huntington beach, aries, gay, enjoy sports and outdoors, LOVE rollercoasters and themeparks =p, looking for similar interests but not required. pref around my age. msg me if interested =P haha.

[mcjaco]

^ Dude, five posts in ten minutes, with a total lack of capitalization in any of them. Please read the Terms of Service.

[HAYASHI]

^ Thanks for the update (mental note)!

[nyanko]

Yikes, I don't even know if I should post this here, but I think that I have problems beyond my recently diagnosed ADHD as far as relationships go.

 

I really don't like relationships. I get super bored with people after too long, as anyone who's registered here who's had a relationship with me (maybe 2 people) can attest to. So now, here I am, having moved to CA with a guy after dating for 3 years. We're on the opposite side of the country from most everyone else we know, have acquired a dog, 2 cats and a snake together, and depend on each other for such things as rent, groceries, etc. But holy christ do I want OUT! I feel like it's all just going through the motions, and I'm way too much of a wuss to say this to him. I mean, I started to, once, a few weeks ago, but we never really start talking about this stuff until I'm already totally pissed about something else and/or too tired to really process what I want to say. Now we don't really fight, maybe 3 times in the 3 years we've been together, but I'm bored and now I've started talking to someone who lives about an hour and a half away under questionable circumstances and I kinda...have a bit of a thing for him.

 

Wow, what a disgusting display of e/n bull. Nobody's around who I feel comfortable talking about this with right now, so it comes out here. Ick.

[cosmic hearse]

Yikes, I don't even know if I should post this here, but I think that I have problems beyond my recently diagnosed ADHD as far as relationships go.

 

I really don't like relationships. I get super bored with people after too long, as anyone who's registered here who's had a relationship with me (maybe 2 people) can attest to. So now, here I am, having moved to CA with a guy after dating for 3 years. We're on the opposite side of the country from most everyone else we know, have acquired a dog, 2 cats and a snake together, and depend on each other for such things as rent, groceries, etc. But holy christ do I want OUT! I feel like it's all just going through the motions, and I'm way too much of a wuss to say this to him. I mean, I started to, once, a few weeks ago, but we never really start talking about this stuff until I'm already totally pissed about something else and/or too tired to really process what I want to say. Now we don't really fight, maybe 3 times in the 3 years we've been together, but I'm bored and now I've started talking to someone who lives about an hour and a half away under questionable circumstances and I kinda...have a bit of a thing for him.

 

Wow, what a disgusting display of e/n bull. Nobody's around who I feel comfortable talking about this with right now, so it comes out here. Ick.

 

1. Is it past the point of no return? Is there anything he can work on or that you both can work together on to save the relationship? Can he do anything to help keep it fresh every now and then to keep it from going stale?

 

2. If you are talking to someone else and you are beginning to like him, sit and think how you would feel to be without your current partner. If it doesn't faze you and you're pretty sure you are going to leave him, tell him sooner than later. I would much rather know that I am being left because there's nothing there anymore than to find out I'm not wanted and that I'm being cheated on. It's more mature to be up front. Don't waste peoples time and/or play with their emotions.

 

3. If 'getting bored' is a reoccurring issue in you're relationships maybe you shouldn't become involved in a relationship. Be upfront when things start to go down that road, let the guy know that you aren't looking for anything serious, the guy will obviously take it better if he's also looking for the same thing.

 

4. Why is there no fighting? Are either of you "Yes" people. That can become an issue a lot of times. Are either you suppressing your true feelings and just going with everything? There is a point where you will grow tiresome. If he's the 'yes' person it can also cause a an issue

if you feel that it shows a sign of weakness or lack of confidence. Arguing in a relationship is normal as long as the issues are dealt with in a healthy manner.

 

Do a little bit of self reflection, take a step back and try to figure out why you think you get bored in relationships? Also since you know you tend to get bored don't make such rash decisions like moving in with someone.

 

Three years is a fairly long time, how long have you been bored? Where you under the impression that 'this is the one' when you guys first started up?

[Brandy524]

Digging up this thread again. I've been married for five years to a drama geek. We met doing community theater. Yes, I'm a drama geek too. He also is a freak about Alabama football, plays video games, watches war documentaries and Star Trek. But I wouldn't change anything. We have some similarities, and differences too, and that works well. I'm not a girly, girl, either, and we enjoy a lot stuff together (action movies, Ghost Hunters, Star Wars, etc.); but there are also some things I like that he can't stand (Grey's Anatomy, romantic movies, i.e. chick flicks). You don't want someone who is exactly the same in every hobby, etc. Life would get boring. BUT you do want someone who can respect what you like and let you enjoy, even though they may not want to participate.

 

As for the younger people, don't be constantly on the lookout for love. Just enjoy being young! I didn't even date in high school. I was too busy with more important things, like my education, and also extracurriculars (danceline, choir, etc.). I just didn't have time to think about relationships. And I wouldn't change a thing. You're never going to get these years back so enjoy them while you can. Don't have wasted your teenage years stressing over not finding a gf/bf.

 

My husband and I met the summer after I graduated high school in 1999. We even made several attempts at dating before it finally clicked. And we both dated other people in the interim, but we managed to find our way back to each other. We didn't officially become a couple until 2002, and married in 2003. All the other times things just weren't right, for some reason or another. There were other things we had to go through and accomplish in our lives before it worked out for us. But you will find someone when the time is right for both you and her/him. Things have a way of working themselves out. When you're not looking for love is most likely when it's going to find you.

 

And to those of you who subscribe to abstinence until marriage, I commend you! I was one of those, as well. It's great to see teenagers who still believe it's best to wait.

[terrancew_hod]

Well my crazy magnet clicked off earlier this summer; where's I'm meeting people that come up to me (minding my own business) and they end up having complete problems. My last "date" decided to tell me about his sessions with his shrink! Not what I want to hear the first time out. And the one before was dealing with depression and I had to show him the door. Maybe it's just me, but I don't go on dates to listen to other's problems. I got enough of my own! They're bringing my mood down!

 

Even worse, then they want you to agree to an "opt out" clause. That is, they really want to be friends because they still want to play around. That's when I delete their number. Then you have the ones that had too much to drink and don't remember you and really don't want to now that the liquor has wore off.

 

When I'm out on the town, I'm basically hanging with friends and not looking for anything, so it bothers me when someone interrupts my buzz with the "I want to get to know you" bit and can't even follow through by returning a call. Good thing I don't put out! I hate sleeping around (that's for young guys) so I'll just take the number and call you later, knowing they're not remotely serious. Besides I'm enjoying my night and I'm not easily impressed with a bunch of cliched lines that's I've heard hundreds of times before; so I'm not going to break rank to travel into familiar territory once again. I think I rolled my eyes at one guy after he gave me his best line. "How about dropping the crap and be honest? Nevermind." I went to get another drink to get my buzz back up.

 

Anyway, I took a break from dating for some "me" time and hopefully I can get through this weekend's partying without being bothered with lies.

 

Am I bitter?

 

My roommate just says I need a GOOD laying. Not the "I could have had a V-8" type.

 

My "girls" (my good lesbian friends) are coming in town and we always have a good time out... and they make great buffers!

 

Terry

[mcjaco]

My last "date" decided to tell me about his sessions with his shrink! Not what I want to hear the first time out.

 

Better the first date, then dealing with drama down the road!

[downunder]

nyanko wrote:

 

I get super bored with people after too long

 

I can relate to that, it takes a lot to keep me interested mentally. But it's my fault - any good looking girl who's interested I always go with them and wonder why I get bored after a while.

 

Agonising decision, turn to a girl I love as a person and enjoy being with but have little or no sexual chemistry with and hope she grows on me (she's pushing hard for a relationship she won't settle for just being friends). Or just stick to bimbos because that's my lot in life.

[Goliath513]

Now that I'm here at college, it's time for me to make a brand new start with my dating life. I screwed up badly with the last and first ever girl I ever loved. (she made it so we could never actually be bf/gf), so I now know what to avoid. Long distance relationships can not and never will work. Ever.

 

 

I've met someone now who I am getting to be pretty good friends with and would like to pursue a relationship with, but I don't want to rush into anything because neither of us are the type for that. So, I'm taking it slowly at first and getting to know her better and when the time comes when there's a social situation our schedules will let us go to together and hang out, we can become more comfortable with each other and see where things go from there.

[TheBannedKid]

I love my girlfriend.

 

 

'Tis all.

[BeemerBoy]

Long distance relationships can not and never will work. Ever.

 

Same goes for blanket statements. There are always exceptions.

[mcjaco]

Same goes for blanket statements. There are always exceptions.

 

For instance, I love Scott. I also love Wes.

 

 

 

 

 

[terrancew_hod]

Now that I'm here at college, it's time for me to make a brand new start with my dating life.

 

Um, isn't studying your priority? School just started! I see you're 18 so this may be your freshman year; I'd get acclimated to life away from home and studying before you throw dating into the mix. There will be more than enough time for that after you get settled in your classes.

 

Terry

[Kalepi_Konei]

Well...the person I'm dating I totally have a "fling" for her. She's super awesome and like my best fran'! I laugh all the time around her, and never get bored of her, though I don't wanna take things to far cuz' I'm just in it to date, and so is she so she totally understands that. We don't plan on lasting more then 3 months really because we want to get out and date other people. And when I date I'm semi-serious. Me and her hold hang out and junk, and I take her to the movies, and to Disney. It's really a blast hanging with her.

 

That's basically it....

 

Kalepi "mmmm....cookies" Konei

[Goliath513]

Long distance relationships can not and never will work. Ever.

 

Same goes for blanket statements. There are always exceptions.

I didn't mean it to sound so absolute. What I mean is - they rarely work out because someone else comes along who is local and most often ends what would work out if it weren't long distance. That's how my first ever "relationship" was, it's what happened to me and it ended in heartbreak.

 

Now that I'm here at college, it's time for me to make a brand new start with my dating life.

 

Um, isn't studying your priority? School just started! I see you're 18 so this may be your freshman year; I'd get acclimated to life away from home and studying before you throw dating into the mix. There will be more than enough time for that after you get settled in your classes.

 

Terry

I'm setting myself up for when I do get settled down I can start dating. I have far too much to get straightened out before I start dating. Until the time comes, just friends.

[Bucket]

I met two great guys, and have been dating them both casually for about a month now. Unfortunately, I am falling for both of them. Too bad both of them aren't looking for anything serious... really not sure how I'll handle this.

[Bolliger&Mabillard]

My GF has been bugging the hell out of me lately. The issue I have is, she's way too clingy. I know why she is, so I don't blame her and I can't get upset or anything, but I still can't let it go either. She grew up with two rather lackluster parents, and as a result she has attachment issues. It's like we'd be hanging out at her house, and She gets sad when I get up to go to the bathroom or leave the room. It drives me crazy, but at the same time I know she only does it because I don't think anyone else has ever really "loved" her. I know that sucks because after years of neglect like that you can't repair it with a romantic relationship. But me being the person I am I can't walk away from that with a clean conscience. I guess I'm screwed.

[ash.1111]

Food doesn't count, does it?

[supermanrosfan0810]

Well I finally have a girlfriend, it feels awesome!

[thrillrideseeker]

So after a year and a half, mine and tony's relationship has finally come to an end. I don't think I have ever felt so useless, or un-needed in my entire life.

~Matthew

[Kalepi_Konei]

I met two great guys, and have been dating them both casually for about a month now. Unfortunately, I am falling for both of them. Too bad both of them aren't looking for anything serious... really not sure how I'll handle this.

 

If your falling for both of em' here's the advice, go for the worse looking one, for some reason uglier people are nicer because they know virtue and things like that. Don't mean to sound mean but it's true.

 

^ I feel sad for you man, I never really paid attention to you and Tony but I always saw you posting for both of you guys and everything.

 

Anyways update on relationship status: now single. I broke up with her because again don't wanna get serious, especially in 9th grade...way to much cling time for girls, they'll get attatched then it's harder to let them go.