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Well in a week I went from a severe drought to talking to three people and I'm not sure what happened!

 

The three are not only culturally different (Latin America, British, American) but physically different as well (muscular, not so slim , slim). And all of them are waaaay too young for me!

 

So imagine the surprise on everyone's face when I'm actually hitting it off with the nerdy British kid and we're discussing computers and Thorpe Park. Yep, he's a coaster fan too. But then I said probably need a nerdy but cute person because of my own personality... lord knows I'm nerdy as heck! Unfortunately he has some major issues he needs to take care of before we proceed any farther, but a least we're getting along surprisingly well. He wants to go coaster riding with me sometime as well; he hasn't been to the Dania Beach Hurricane, so I may surprise him with that tonight if the weather holds.

 

The american guy is about as laid back as I am and down to earth. So we end up on the patio talking it up and chewing gum. He was also asking about exercise tips because he thinks I'm a big dude! We'll see how that goes.

 

The latin guy is going to be discounted as just physical judging from the looks and conversation, so I may just end that because that's not what I'm looking for.

 

Terry

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^ You can like people without dating them. I think some people really are addicted to relationships, like they can't survive without them. What I would say in your situation, is just to like them and not worry about dating yet. Heck, I'm even skeptical to date girls now and I'm almost 15!

---Brent

 

This is really good advice! I've posted in here before that if I could go back and talk to myself 10 years ago, I would tell myself not to worry so much about getting a girlfriend. If you like the girl and want to ask her out, great do it and have fun. If you want to just be friends, that works great as well. I just remember there being wayyy too much stress when it came to dating when I was a teenager.

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So after getting home, I run to the phone to talk to another one of my Best Friends who has dated her and knows her better than any one I know.

 

I wouldn't date a best friend's ex. It can just lead to a lot of complications in your relationship with your friend, as well as your relationship with the girl. I don't know either of these people so this is just hypothetical, but suppose their relationship ended badly, she may bad mouth your friend, your friend may bad mouth your girl, etc., etc. They could try to use you to get back at each other. I just wouldn't go there if I were you.

 

There are plenty of other girls out there that haven't dated your best friend. Try to find one of those!

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^

I completely agree with you.

And I would worry if it was any other person. But honestly, he isn't that kind of person. They are just friends. They really never talk or anything. But if they were best friends. I would be kinda worried. He knows lots about her from when they where dating. But now, I doubt that the "knowledge" they know over each other would be an issue.

 

--James

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3 Rules of Dating:

 

1. Never date a friend's ex

2. Never date someone your friend likes

3. Never date someone who likes your friend

 

I have broken two of these rules (with the same guy stupidly) and it didn't end well.

 

I advise to stay away from the girl if she used to date your best mate. My question is how long did they date? 1 week is okay 2 years is a no go area.

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In addition to those rules:

 

4. Never leave someone that you're dating alone with your friend.

 

That rule is protect you from friends that don't mind violating the first three rules, oh and people like me that love ruining people's nights when they're misbehaving. Let me explain.

 

I knew someone that was dating someone. However, he would have a friend tag along so that he could "wander", leaving the friend to babysit the person he was with. You know what the guy was doing while the friend was babysitting. (the guy he was dating was really young, but we eventually...ok I... found out he was just as sneaky... they deserve each other!) Anyway, the friend would usually get mad for the guy doing it, and they would tell me the gossip.

 

One day the guy calls me to go out with him and his date.

 

Me: "If you leave me alone with your man, I'm throwing my tongue down his throat and we're dissappearing."

 

We never went out. They guy would never leave us alone for more than five minutes from that point on.

 

All his friends called me laughing because he called them all worried from what I told him. They told him, "Well that's what you get if you have him babysit your date while you run around like you did us." Then they would ask "And you were joking right?"

 

I told them "Nope. I don't make empty threats. And least I was being honest and gave him fair warning against leaving me to babysit. I have a fee for babysitting." That's probably more that what he got from other people and they probably were misbehaving while the guy was "wandering".

 

Terry

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I had to sit one of the guys I'm dating down to talk today. That "L" word slipped out of his mouth (twice) so I had to tell him to slow waaaay down. I barely know him and it's way to early to say such things. Besides he has some major things to take care of.

 

Didn't go too well at first because he started crying. I'm no good at this emotional stuff! Anyway, we talked for a while (making me very late for work) and I told him that I like him and I'm not going anywhere so there's no need to rush anything. Besides, I've been so used to doing things on my own and without anyone, it's gonna take time for me to think about having an "us" in my life or doing things together. I also need to make sure that he's the right person, and not just because he's there. If it moves to fast, I'm gonna get smothered and bolt so work your way into my life, not crash into it. I told him after the last few train wrecks of so-called dating, I'm a bit gun shy about the whole thing.

 

So he understood after I explained it more.

 

Anyway, I spoke a little bit with the other guy this week as well, he's been a bit under the weather and studying so he was happy when I contacted him. So we're going to go out on a date next week.

 

At least I'm off to St. Louis this week for a little breathing room and to visit some old friends and see how big my exes have gotten.

 

Terry

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I think I've decided to just wait to date until I graduate from undergrad and get to Florida. The main reason is that so many girls here in Alabama love living here and after college they don't want to move anywhere else. I can't take Alabama much longer and am definitely moving to Central Florida in 2011. I don't want to fall in love and then be forced to live in Alabama because of that. I would rather have Florida than the perfect girl in Alabama. Besides, I will probably do my graduate studies at UCF and there are plenty of opportunities.

 

Bad excuses you give to compensate for the fact you can't get a date #8423.

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^

I think I've decided to just wait to date until I graduate from undergrad and get to Florida.

 

So if the Lord sends Miss Right and you get blindsided with love and she wants to stay, you're stuck right?

 

If you want to move, she just needs to know that up front. See the beginning of the relationship is when you get all that major junk out of the way. That way both of you know what you're getting into. And things such as if you don't want kids right away, that should be at the top of the list... and don't think that you can change their minds once the ring goes on the finger.

 

If you wait, then it's harder.

 

I usually tell people I date to get the major stuff out of the way at the beginning so it isn't a major issue later. I've dropped people like hot rocks because they sat on bombshells for weeks and didn't say anything.

 

Terry

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Funny thing is I really don't care. What most guys look forward to in a relationship is sex, and I'm waiting on that until marriage so there's no rush in that aspect. I guess if I really wanted to find someone to date I could, but I don't like to force things to happen. And I'm a Christian and 100% believe in God's timing and just waiting for Him to bring 'the one' to me. When it happens, it will happen.

 

Bad excuses you give to compensate for the fact you can't get a date #8424.

 

You realize people can date without the desired end results being marriage or sex? Seriously, there's nothing wrong with casual dating, even if it doesn't go very far, it prepares you for future relationships? What if you find someone who you think is "the one" but you have no dating experience to get things rolling?

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What it while living in Florida, you meet the "one." She happens to be from Alabama, and then wants to live there?

 

Casual dating is a great way to find out what you want in a partner, and vice versa. Thinking about sex before even getting into a relationship is a sure way to make yourself crazy.

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Tyler, just try to enjoy college and date around without worrying about finding the perfect girl. I worry about a heartbreak too, but that's just how it goes. It's okay to go out with girls just to get a feel for who you truly want to be with. It's not like you're making a lifetime commitment to her just by going out with a girl. If you don't feel a connection, the I can understand why you would be hesitant about dating, but if you're holding off just because you're not sure it will end in marriage - that's too extreme. Afterall, its better to have loved than never to have loved at all (well at the dating stage it isn't really love, but you know what I'm talking about )

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I'm in college now and am perfectly content with not being in a relationship. I used to want a girlfriend badly, but now really don't care. It is fun to talk to basically any girl you want whenever you want to.

 

It is okay to just wait for something to come around I think, if you can enjoy life without being in a relationship.

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