The "Say Something Random" Thread

[ebl]

No surprise a friend would have sent me this (and I didn't write these, by the way...):

 

1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

2. She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still.

 

3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

 

4. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

 

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

 

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

 

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

 

8. Two silk worms had a race---they ended up in a tie.

 

9. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.

 

10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head."

 

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me.

 

14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet."

 

15. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

 

16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

 

17. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

 

18. A backward poet writes inverse.

 

19. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

 

20. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.

 

21. Don't join dangerous cults---practice safe sects!

 

Eric

[ThePerfectMistake]

I LIKE cereal!

[Coaster Cow]

Moose. Mouse. Potato.

[mike541x]

I think it's gonna storm.

[PriestofSyrinx]

.. and thats how babies are made jimmy"

 

"I think Im gonna be sick"

[Yankee cannonball]

[Huge_Wonderland_Fan]

Life is nothing, life is nothing, life is nothing but a slap in the face ! Life is nothing, life is nothing, life is nothing but a fat rat race !

[Zack44]

Time for sleep.

[netdvn]

Facebook is literally like crack. I've spent almost two weeks adding friends, posting updates, looking for groups, and adding apps and I can't stop.

 

HELP ME!!!

[XII]

I just chased away some moron teepeeing my house at 2 AM

[ebl]

^ Better that he was throwing TP at your house, and not houses at your teepee...

 

Eric

[Coaster Cow]

I just finished a 6 mile run with hill repeats!

[spaceace12]

Cash for Clunkers will be over by Monday...woohoo.

[dj snow]

Yo soy un hombre sincero.

[onewheeled999]

I'M COMING FOR YOU, GRAMMA!

 

 

Hahah, that round of Burnout Paradise was awesome.

[Stoksy]

potato+tomato= One oddly flavoured food.

[ebl]

Upon discovering that this page number (1197) is evenly divisible by three, it occurred to Andrew, Ben, and Charles that the first initials of their names are the first three letters of the alphabet. Blended together and boiled, everything involved resulted in a tasty soup.

 

Eric

[cal1br3tto]

^My post also involves division!

 

Coaster-related, but still random: My average number of laps per coaster is 3.23809524. It will be interesting to see how this changes over time.

[ebl]

^ Your average number of laps is also evenly divisible by three.

 

That should make your family quite happyful for the rest of their days.

 

Eric

[Jds03]

I'm at the apple store using the biggest screen I've ever seen.

[Kennyweird]

You know, operating the Racer isn't nearly as fun as riding it.

 

It's still a million times better than working at Walmart, though.

[onewheeled999]

I just saw Peggle: Dual Shot for Nintendo DS at Target for $4.99.

 

It came out this year, if I'm correct. It's the absolute cheapest game I saw there.

[netdvn]

Is Petsmart Pet's Mart or Pet Smart?

 

This has seriously been bugging me since I read it on MLIA a while ago.

[atem122]

Pet Smart Pet Smart Pet Smart!

[Sasquatch]

My friend knows pi to 55 places