ebl Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 No surprise a friend would have sent me this (and I didn't write these, by the way...): 1. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian. 2. She was only a whisky maker but he loved her still. 3. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption. 4. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work. 5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery. 6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering. 7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart. 8. Two silk worms had a race---they ended up in a tie. 9. Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana. 10. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head." 13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then, it hit me. 14. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, "No change yet." 15. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion. 16. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. 17. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran. 18. A backward poet writes inverse. 19. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. In feudalism, it's your count that votes. 20. When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion. 21. Don't join dangerous cults---practice safe sects! Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePerfectMistake Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I LIKE cereal! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coaster Cow Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 Moose. Mouse. Potato. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mike541x Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 I think it's gonna storm. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PriestofSyrinx Posted August 19, 2009 Share Posted August 19, 2009 .. and thats how babies are made jimmy" "I think Im gonna be sick" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yankee cannonball Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huge_Wonderland_Fan Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Life is nothing, life is nothing, life is nothing but a slap in the face ! Life is nothing, life is nothing, life is nothing but a fat rat race ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zack44 Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Time for sleep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netdvn Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 Facebook is literally like crack. I've spent almost two weeks adding friends, posting updates, looking for groups, and adding apps and I can't stop. HELP ME!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
XII Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I just chased away some moron teepeeing my house at 2 AM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 ^ Better that he was throwing TP at your house, and not houses at your teepee... Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coaster Cow Posted August 20, 2009 Share Posted August 20, 2009 I just finished a 6 mile run with hill repeats! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
spaceace12 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Cash for Clunkers will be over by Monday...woohoo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dj snow Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Yo soy un hombre sincero. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewheeled999 Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 I'M COMING FOR YOU, GRAMMA! Hahah, that round of Burnout Paradise was awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stoksy Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 potato+tomato= One oddly flavoured food. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 Upon discovering that this page number (1197) is evenly divisible by three, it occurred to Andrew, Ben, and Charles that the first initials of their names are the first three letters of the alphabet. Blended together and boiled, everything involved resulted in a tasty soup. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cal1br3tto Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 ^My post also involves division! Coaster-related, but still random: My average number of laps per coaster is 3.23809524. It will be interesting to see how this changes over time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted August 21, 2009 Share Posted August 21, 2009 ^ Your average number of laps is also evenly divisible by three. That should make your family quite happyful for the rest of their days. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jds03 Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I'm at the apple store using the biggest screen I've ever seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kennyweird Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 You know, operating the Racer isn't nearly as fun as riding it. It's still a million times better than working at Walmart, though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewheeled999 Posted August 22, 2009 Share Posted August 22, 2009 I just saw Peggle: Dual Shot for Nintendo DS at Target for $4.99. It came out this year, if I'm correct. It's the absolute cheapest game I saw there. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
netdvn Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Is Petsmart Pet's Mart or Pet Smart? This has seriously been bugging me since I read it on MLIA a while ago. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
atem122 Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 Pet Smart Pet Smart Pet Smart! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sasquatch Posted August 23, 2009 Share Posted August 23, 2009 My friend knows pi to 55 places Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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