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Post your favorite your mom jokes!


benzo41190

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Some fo my favorites are....

 

"your mom is so poor, when she finds a thrown cigarete butt she says thank the lord we have heat"

 

"your mom is so poor, when I asked her why she was kicking a tin can down the street she said she was moving"

 

"your mom is so fat, you can use her underwear for bungee jumping"

 

"your mom is so ugly, she has to cover herself with mud so homeless people well accept her money"

 

I good resource to your mom jokes can be found at...

 

www.yourmom.com

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Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a "Quarter Back" was a refund.

 

Yo momma is so fat, everytime she turns around it's her birthday.

 

Yo momma is so old, she has Jesus's year book picture.

 

Yo momma is so old, her breast give powder milk.

 

Yo momma is so old, her face is on the old foodstamps.

 

Yo momma is so dumb, it took her 2 hours to cook minute rice.

 

Yo momma is so dumb, it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

 

Yo momma's house is so small, she has to go outside just to change her mind.

 

Yo momma's house is so small, she has to go outside just to eat a large pizza.

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Your Momma is so old, she still owes Jesus a nickel!

 

Your Momma is so fat, she bleeds PREGO!

 

Your Momma is so old, she farts dust!

 

Your Momma is so poor, last time I went to your house I asked her whats for dinner, she got on the table, took off her shoe and said "corn on the cobb"

 

Youe Momma is so old, her nipples look like raisins!

 

Your Momma is so stupid, last time I went to your house I kicked the fence and she came out barking!

 

Your Momma is so stupid, she put a quarter in the parking meter and waiting for her gumball.

 

Your Momma is so stupid, she went in to an antique store and said "whats new"

 

 

These are just a few that i could remember off the top of my head, ENJOY! 8)

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Yo momma is so fat she's got smaller women orbiting around her.

 

Yo momma is so fat her high school graduation picture was an aerial photo.

 

Yo momma is so fat her belly button's got an echo.

 

Yo momma is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat, people shout, "Taxi!"

Yo momma is so fat she's got her own area code.

 

Yo momma is so fat her driver's license says "Picture continued on the other side".

 

Yo momma is so poor, her TV has two channels - on and off.

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I know so many perverted middle school yo momma jokes that I know are forbidden here.

 

But I do know some others, that I'm sure great intellectual minds have composed :

 

Yo momma's so fat, when she passed the T.V. I missed two movies, and a whole season of Friends.

 

Yo momma's so dumb, she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

 

Yo momma's so fat/dumb, when she saw a school bus, she yelled, "Stop that Twinkie!"

 

Yo momma's so poor, when you walk in the house, you walk out the house.

 

Yo momma's so fat, her blood pressure is rock and roll!

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I was bored enough to put "yo momma" into the wikipedia, and here's what it gave me:

 

"Yo' momma's so fat..."

 

"...when God said 'let there be light,' he asked her to move."

"...she fell in love and broke it."

"...she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out."

"...she's on both sides of the family."

"...she uses Mexico as a tanning bed."

"...when she sits on a dollar, she makes change."

"...she was diagnosed with flesh eating bacteria and the doctor gave her forty years to live."

"...her stomach has time zones."

"...when she wears high heels she strikes oil."

"...when she jumps the radio skips."

"...She has to iron her pants on the driveway."

"...she wore a red dress and went outside, and all the kids said Kool-Aid!"

"...when I had sex with her I rolled over twice, and I was still on her!"

"...she has her own gravitational field/her own orbit."

"...that the last time she saw 90210 was when she stepped on a scale!"

"...when she jumped up in the air, she got stuck."

"...she sits next to EVERYONE at the cinema."

"Yo' momma's so ugly..."

 

"...she walked by the bathroom and the toilet flushed itself"

"...when she looks in the mirror, her reflection ducks."

"Yo' momma's so heavy, when she stepped on a scale..."

 

"...it said, 'One at a time, please!'"

"...it said, 'No livestock allowed!'"

"...it said, 'To be continued!'"

"...she saw her phone number!'"

"...the scale sued for cruel and unusual punishment."

"Yo' momma's so old..."

 

"...her social security number is 1"

"...her breastmilk is powder."

"...when God said, 'Let there be light,' she flipped the switch!"

"...she farts dust."

"...she sat behind Jesus in the 3rd grade."

"...she was at the last supper."

"Yo' momma's so black..."

 

"...she went to night school and got marked absent."

"...she could leave her fingerprint in charcoal."

"...I shot her, and the bullet came back asking for a flashlight."

"Yo' momma's teeth are so yellow..."

 

"...I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!"

"...when she smiles, traffic slows."

"Yo Mama's so stupid..."

 

"...she bought a carton of orange juice and looked at it for 20 minutes because it said 'Concentrate'."

"...she shoved the phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call."

"...she failed a blood test."

"...she tripped over the cordless phone."

"...she thought a quarterback was a refund."

"...she got locked in a motorcycle."

"...she got run over by a parked car."

"...she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side."

"...she got fired from the M&M's factory for throwing away all the W's!"

"...she went to ShopRite and shopped left.

"Yo Mama's so poor..."

 

"...when I asked her why she was kicking a box down the street she said, 'Moving'."

"...she eats cereal with a fork so she can use the milk later."

"...I walked through the front door and tripped over the back door."

"...she drives a peanut."

"...when I stepped on a lit cigarette, she asked who turned off the heat."

"Yo Mama's so hairy..."

 

"...Bigfoot takes picture of her."

"...she looks like she's got Buckwheat in a headlock." (Alternatively: Don King)

"...she looks like she's smuggling Chewbacca under her clothes."

"...Bill Gates couldn't pay for the wax job."

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