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Post your favorite your mom jokes!


benzo41190

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Your mom is so old, she got her drivers ID photo taken on top of a Dinosaur.

 

Your mom is so hunched backed, she has to wear scuba gear to do dishes.

 

Your mom is so fat, that we she took a drink out of the ocean and they found Atlantis

 

Your mom is poor that she waves around a popsickle stick and calls it Central AC.

 

Your mom is so dumb that she thought pressing "Tab" on the keyboard would give her a soda

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  • 3 weeks later...

Yo mammas so fat that when they did liposuction surgery on her, It took 10 years to remove that much blubber and they found Atlantis, The Wooly Mammoths and all the dinosaurs! They wern't extinct after all!

Edited by XII
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Yo mama's like a bag of potao chips: "Free-to-lay".

Yo mama's like a mail box: open day and night.

Yo mama's like a Bounty Paper Towel: she picks up all kinds of slimey wet stuff.

Yo mama's like AOL 9.0: Fun fast, easy and free for too months.

Yo mama's like 7-ll: Open all night, hot to go, and for 89 cent you can get a slurpy.

Yo mama's like cake mix: 15 servings per package.

Yo mama's like Mc Donalds: 20 Billion served worldwide.

Yo mama's a dollar bill: She gets handled all across the country.

Yo mama's like Pizz Hut: If she isn't there in 30mins. then it's free!

Yo mama's like a school at 3 O'clock: Childern keep coming out, and nobody can remeber all the fathers.

Yo mama's like a screen door: After a couple of bangs, she loosens up.

 

Hope thats not too overboard

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Yo mama ate so much fast food, McDonald's had to change the name of their burgers from Big Macs to Big Mamas.

 

Yo mama's so dumb, she tried to call the hospital and asked, "what's the number for 911?"

 

Yo mama's so hairy, she needs a lawn mower to keep it all trimmed.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she uses a carpet as a towel.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she puts one toe in a swimming pool, and the splash is so big, everyone else drowns.

 

Yo mama's so dumb, when she wants ice cream, she puts a cow in a freezer.

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  • 2 months later...

I'm too lazy to look and see if anyone's said this yet, but here I go:

 

Your mom's so fat, that when she walked by the TV I missed three episodes!

 

Also:

 

Your mom's so fat, that instead of God saying "let there be light", he said "move over!"

 

Your mom's so fat, that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone!

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Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to put water on a heart burn.

 

Yo mama is so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.

 

Yo mama's like Mc Donalds: Billions Served.

 

Yo mama's got one big boob, one small boob and they call her "Biggie Smalls."

 

Yo mama don't have legs, talking about how she's gonna run for president

 

Yo mama's got a wooden nipple and they call her Corky.

 

Yo mama got fake hair, fakes eyes, fake nails talking about she wants a real man.

 

Yo mama's got a eating disorder, she be eating dis-order, dat-order...hell she eats all the damn orders.

 

Yo mama's got three teeth, one in her mouth and two in her pocket

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