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Theme Park Review's Italy 2012 Tour!


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Love that Dark ride POV. Italy's always been great at scaring and horrifying people. Just look at all the suspenseful and gruesome horror movies that have come out of Italy over the years, like Cannibal Holocaust, which was so realistic, that the director had to bring his actors into a courtroom to prove he didn't kill them on the set.

 

It's strange, when you consider how religious this country is as well, being the home of the Vatican and all. I guess they're just more open to facing death as a part of life than other developed countries.

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Today was "Rome Credit Whore Day" - and what a credit whore day it was!

 

Today starts "credit whore" day in Rome, starting with one of the bigger parks in the area, Zoomarine!

 

Not sure what animal this guy may be! Any ideas???

 

Gonna get some Schwarzkopf porn for RD.

 

Mmmmm.... Nice curves!

 

The ride doesn't open for another 2 1/2 hours... But we're TPR and they are opening it early just for us!

 

But first... It's Sharky Worm time!

 

Yes, it's a Sharky Worm!!!

 

TPR members are being whores today!

 

Pretty darn whoreish Video of the Sharky Worm!

 

Video of the Sharky Worm!

 

 

RD must be creaming in his jeans right now!

 

OMG!!! LIFT HILL PORN!!!!

 

YAY!!! ERT ON THE LOOPING STAR!!!Schwarzkopf porn for RD!

 

Schwarzkopf porn for RD!

 

Check out the map of the park.... It's part water park, amusement shows, and marine animals.

 

A very, very, very, pirate 4D movie!

 

Random beasts...

 

We fully approve this Royal Caribbean advertisements.

 

A few kiddie flat rides here.

 

Yay! More Royal Caribbean stuff!

 

Even Hanno is being a whore!

 

And Craig is just being his "special" self!

 

NO! DINO! DO NOT EAT ROBB!!! HIS FLESH TASTES LIKE ROTTING MAGGOTS!!!

 

Welcome to Jura.... Oh, wait!

 

In Italy, all the dinosaurs drank Coca-Cola!

 

I think I've seen this somewhere before!

 

Free WiFi at Zoomarine is pretty awesome!

 

Thank you Zoomarine! Had a fun visit and you guys have a great park!

 

Continuing our tradition of being total whores, we pulled up to this carnival park... It was closed.

 

As you can see, they have some fully licensed, created by official staff artists, Disney characters welcoming you to their magical wonderland!

 

Well, we made it back to the coaster, and found some pretty sketchy guys hanging around.

 

So even though the park is closed today...

 

...handing some scary Italian carnie with a key to the ride 200 Euros certainly pays off!

 

We have been such whores on this trip, we are sure to get a coaster STD!

 

Raise your hand of you're a total whore!

 

We'll pretty much do anything for a credit!

 

And the ultimate credit whore takes the last ride!Video of TPR being total whores!

 

Video of TPR being total whores!

 

Here's the ride sign for Larry.

 

Next we arrived at Oasi Park.... Having really no idea about this place...

 

But upon entering we knew this was the kind of place that would make a Disney lawyer's head explode!

 

As you can see, they had many 100% officially licensed Disney attractions!

 

Dopey is here to tell you a bit about the park.

 

These guys are just happy they are still alive at this park!

 

The train ride was full of awesome!

 

Its called "Disney Lawyer Nightmare"

 

Yup.

 

Can you name this fully licensed Disney property?

 

Poke my what!!??

 

I feel there is something not quite right about this!

 

Simba and Brer Rabbit hanging out as usual!

 

Lol! It's got smurfs too!

 

Ffff.... WHAT. THE. HELL???

 

I saw this and just stopped. I'm in awe of this because it confuses me, surprises me, and enlightens me.

 

The more I look at it, the more I can feel it melting my brain.

 

Is it me or does Beast look REALLY. F#%CKING. PISSED OFF. At Belle?

 

WHAT THE??? What is going on here!???

 

Random.

 

Bet you never knew that smurfs and dwarves existed in the same universe!

 

No, Aladdin!!! Don't get eaten by the cave of wonders!!!

 

"Hey, baby... Wanna hop of my magic carpet and come home with me?"

 

There's even a western section!

 

KidTums found a suspended coaster!

 

"I'm totally counting this on my Jeff Johnson list!"

 

WTF is this torture machine???

 

"Caution - you may get your face sliced off!"

 

Lol! KidTums' face survived!

 

See! 100% officially licensed!

 

It's the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse Puppet Show!

 

Aha! They have a Carsland here too!!!

 

The park actually looks REALLY NICE!!!

 

And fully licensed!

 

More Dwarves.

 

Looks like Sylvester finally got that f#%cking annoying bird!!!

 

Those dudes REALLY HATE Hello Kitty!

 

Yes, Craig, very good... You have a Kermit!

 

It's just like being back in Japan!

 

Oh, yeah... There's a kiddy coaster here too!

 

It's Speedy Gonzales themed!

 

And it's Bambi themed!

 

And it's A Bugs Life themed!

 

And there is a random cowboy!!!

 

Ok, everyone... Let's go!

 

TPR is ready to credit whore!

 

Hooray for it not being a real Wacky Worm!!!

 

Best kiddy of the day!Video of the Speedy Gonzales/Bambi/Bugs Life themed coaster!

 

Video of the Speedy Gonzales/Bambi/Bugs Life themed coaster!

 

We had so much fun checking out Oasi Park! Seriously awesome, screwed up fun place!!!

 

Our final Rome credit whore park of the day!

 

I really really want to see this puppet show!!!

 

Hooray for the western section.

 

Yay for the red, white, and blue!

 

Oh, see this is CLEARY a Disney rip-off... Not like that other fully licensed park!

 

Be honest! This creepy guy made you scream, didn't it?

 

Yeah, totally a knock-off!

 

"In the clowns mouth, litterbug!!!"

 

Yay! Another Wacky Worm!

 

Oh, I have to go get ride tokens at Caesar's Palace!

 

Yup... This one is a legit Wacky Worm!

 

Hooray! More credit whoring!!!

 

Sad and pathetic!!!

 

This one is Looney Tunes themed... Not as cool as the Bugs Life/Bambi/Cowboy themed kiddy at the last park!

 

Yup... Wacky Worm.Video of the final credit whore coaster of the day!

 

Video of the final credit whore coaster of the day!

 

Aha! It MUST be 100% officially licensed since it says "Walt Disney" on it! (We see you totally bored ride op!)

 

Downs Syndrome Jafar!

 

It kinda looks like "Strangers With Candy Mickey!"

 

Terrance is of course... At the bar!

 

WTF!!! If Eric Idle was an octopus...

 

Yay!!! Credit Whore day was a HUGE success!!!

 

The Elissa Italy cheese count is six times in four days!

 

That's it...WOW! What an update!

 

POST YOUR COMMENTS!!!

Edited by robbalvey
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That Mini Mouse not only has fully licensed versions of Disney and Warner Bros. characters, it has it's own "floating" Verbolten wall.

55442729_Floatingwall.png.b2d69710a788444d1be494f8bb797883.png

I wonder if BGW had to buy a license from this park for it? ;)

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I'm still laughing...

 

The Disneyists of TPR are crying, of course, and I'm rolling in pain from laughing so hard. Exceptional captions today.

 

Onto the real reason I'm posting:

 

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

 

I need a nap now. The Schwarzporn was EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD. I'm actually going to have a shower now. Front car, lots of the noise of a LoopingStar, beautiful trains, great views, great pics... ohyesssss....

 

R.D.

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Wait, am I really going on one of these trips in a couple of days?

 

WHAT HAVE I DONE?!!?!?!?

My thoughts exactly!

 

Italy has several moderately-sized parks, but quite a few of the credits here are hidden in these small parks that you visited on this 'credit whore day'. If I ever get the chance to visit the Rome area again and I have some time, I'll have to hit up these parks and snag the credits for myself. Hopefully I won't need to have 200 Euros on me in order to get them, though.

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Before I recap how awesome I feel this TR is so far ... so what are worse? The Fabri's or SLC's? Because that POV looked liked it HURT!!

 

So to recap ...

 

Pig rape

 

Robb going to hell

 

Boobs

 

Doc and Snow White sneaking off for a booty call

 

The most AMAZING PICTURE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD!!!

 

And a Scott Pilgrim reference. And it's only day 4.

 

Well done!!!

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