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The "Say Something Random" Thread


robbalvey

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I was working the closing night for our haunt yesterday, and have a really funky story (I would post this in the GP thread, but I hate double-posting):

 

About halfway through the night, I see a woman dressed in pajamas carrying something swaddled with a blanket. Costumes are normal during that day, so I didn't think much of it until she passes me. I swore the thing swaddled in the blanket turned its head at me; creeped me out big time. A few seconds later, another woman in the group asks "How is Chico doing?" That's when it hit me; the woman was carrying her chihuahua through.

 

Biggest WTF moment of the season, no doubt.

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^^ Well, last night after seeing Paranormal Activity 3, she wanted to go to a haunted road nearby. On the way there she challenged me to try to scare her, so of course I took her up on it.

 

She turned her back for a second and I dashed back and ducked behind the car (pitch black, middle-of-nowhere, scary trees lining the road) and waited. After I let her sweat for a few minutes, I snuck up behind her with my hood up and started doing my best creeper breathing. Poor girl nearly dropped right there. She did enjoy it though.

 

It wasn't a complete waste. We both saw a black ball/object zip past us, so there *might* have been someone there with us.

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I was reading an article online last night, I think it was on UFOs. I thought it was funny how in the comments area there was one guy who was trying to convince everyone that traveling faster than the speed of light is possible. His argument was that [paraphrased] "People once believed that it was impossible to travel faster than the fastest animal." While he's at it, he might as well say gravity will one day be optional.

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Found this in the comments of a Yahoo article on the most anticipated movies of the holiday season.

 

How can a vampire [from Breakin Dawn] get someone pregnant ? I thought they were dead. Wouldn't dust come out instead of s.p.e.rm ?

 

Well, when they need blood they just suck it out of someone. When they need sperm they just.....oh.
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I have recently become obsessed with anti-jokes. They're jokes that make no sense at all, like:

 

How do you make a clown stop laughing? Hit him in the face with am axe.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? "We're both lawyers."

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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