jray21 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 (edited) From the bottom of every TPR page, Disclaimer! You need a sense of humor to view our site, if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back now! *Warning: I am fat, ugly, and a coaster nerd (30 +lbs. over what is considered normal). Therefore, I am allowed to make fun of other fat, ugly, and nerdy people. This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people, and will make fun of people who are also fat, ugly, and nerdy. If you are easily offended, take this as a warning to not view this report! Some of you may think it is beyond humor and just mean, if you are one of those people, please do not continue looking at this report. The pictures in this report will be similar to those found on PeopleofWalmart.com. If you find PeopleofWalmart.com offensive, then you will also find this thread offensive. You have been warned.* *Bryan Stoll Disclaimer - Many many many animals were killed and eaten in the making of this thread. Vegetarian discretion is advised* This is my trip report for the 2010 TPR Middle America trip! The idea for "Food and Fatties" was decided upon after a lengthy discussion between Amy, Dan, and I. Amy, Dan, and I (and many others) ate an incredible amount of food on this trip so we decided to record our 10+ lbs of weight gain. Each. Also, being in Middle-America we soon noticed the incredibly vast numbers of 'unique' looking individuals. We decided that just as people document the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot, we needed to record these Middle-America oddities for generations to come. This was one of the greatest event/trip/vacations of my life. From the coasters, to Leslie Hall, to the City Museum, to Lambert's, and to the bus driver's stand up comedy, this trip was non-stop fun and excitement. Thank you, you have been warned. Enjoy! Make sure to follow along for a chance to win a one-of-a-kind TPR souvenir signed by none other than Leslie Hall, along with some TPR celebrities like Dan, TPDave, and Lou!!! And as always, THANK YOU ROBB AND ELISSA FOR AN INCREDIBLE TRIP! Pre-Arrival: This was the pre-arrival day and dinner at the Mall of America. Day One: Mall of America, Sponge Bob, and a few hand selected Fatties! Day One Evening: LESLIE HALL!!!!! Day Two: Adventureland, almost death by tree, Pedo-Dan, PROWLER, and Waffle House!!!! Day Three: World's of Fun, Private Time with Prowler, and Lambert's! Day Four, Part One - Silver Dollar City!!! Food, a fatty quiz, and Barry M. Deeper! Day Four, Part Two - Silver Dollar City! A big hole in the ground, more food, and a massive fatty! Day Five - St. Louis Missouri! Pizza Hut, White Castle, St. Louis Arch, and the CITY MUSEUM!!!! Day Six: Six Flags St. Louis, Mr. Freeze Backstage Tour, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and horrendous heat! Day Seven: Holiday World! The Voyage walk back, great food, and a warped look at nursery rhymes! Day Eight: Indiana Beach - Lot's of food, Revenge of the Kankles, Fascination, and Steel Hawg! Day Nine: Six Flags Great America: Superman ERT, Raging Bull, Backstage Tour, and Dan gets WET!!!! Day Ten: The Wisconsin Dells, All About Bryan Day, and half-naked Fatties! Day Eleven: Valleyfair! FINAL DAY of the trip! Domo day, more food, and Renegade! Pre-Arrival - We arrived in Minneapolis, Minnesota in the evening and headed over to the Mall of America for dinner and shopping. I was excited to find a Famous Dave's there as I love eating their ribs at the Reno Rib Cook-Off. Little did I know that a year later we would be getting one in Reno!!!! It was excellent food. We then went and saw Inception in the D-box theater. The best way to describe D-box is like a very tame version of Sponge Bob or Shrek 4D. The seats are choreographed with the movie and move a little with the camera. They have an intensity setting so you can make it move less or stop moving if you start getting sick. We don't really recommend it. If it was a movie with planes or cars it would have been better, but it was a little odd to be moving with the camera in a movie like Inception. Another bad thing was that the seats were the very last rows of the theater so you were pretty far back. Also, the seats were taller than normal so short people like us had our feet barely touching the ground and it became a little uncomfortable. We watched the last show of the night, I think it was the midnight showing, so we didn't get out of the theater until after 2 am! At this point we had to exit out near the theater, which was on the other side of the massive mall! We had to walk really far to our hotel and it took us over 40 minutes! I thought for sure we were going to get mugged. Anyway, we woke up the next morning and met up with the Robb, Elissa, Kristen, and Dan, and headed back to the mall. We did a little at the park, walked around the mall, met up with other TPR members, did an Ikea run, and had a pre-arrival dinner! The dinner was incredible and I ate a ton! Since this is early in the trip, we hadn't decided on the 'theme' of the report yet so besides the fat ugly pictures of me, there is only one other 'fattie' picture. In the air leaving the 'beautiful' state of Nevada We arrived to see that MSP also has one of the M&M's like the Alvey's! See kids, this is why smoking is bad for you. We made it the mall for dinner and a movie! This is the directory for the mall. There were three panels of stores! Food may love Pepsi, but no one else does. We will see you tomorrow Sponge Bob! Time for Famous Daves! Up first was the Smoked Salmon Spread. Amy got the chicken and shredded pork. I got the delicious ribs and brisket. I was too slow to get a picture of the pecan pie. This was our second dinner, so we didn't eat too much. Had I known there was a Famous Dave's here, I would have saved up. Sitting in our D-box seats waiting for the movie. Yay, a backpack to match my nerdy shirt! (First nerd and ugly shot of the report!) I had a premonition that pictures with mustaches would be part of the trip. A shark backpack! I'm sure Dave would have had this bag when he was growing up. This greets you right at the entrance to the mall. Is this a TPR welcome or what! Sponge Bob welcomes everyone to Nickelodeon Universe! KidTums says hello to Sponge Bob and Patrick! KidTums is absolutely the cutest kid in the world! By Ming-Ming, your too slow. A tiny portion of the mall. They had MagiQuest. I've never done it, but I know a lot of TPR's love it. Show her how much you really love her. Hey, if she can fake it, why can't you! Family Foursome for only $26!? A family foursome in Reno costs a lot more, and has a whole different meaning! Nothing says Bad Attitude like colorful boxers! Congratulations Sir, your our first fatty! The Splat-O-Sphere was the middle-child of the drop towers. Not really tall enough for a drop tower, but much taller than a frog hopper. Tak Attack was sickening and fun! They have the Taito Drum Game!! This is the best game in any mall or theme park in America! Nothing says love from Minnesota like Loons, Walleyes, and Mosquitos? I definitely didn't think of a bean bag when I saw the stores name. Nothing else says love from Minnesota like a wedding chapel in a mall! Talk about classy! Yay, Dave meets up with us! Also, check out the people in the background! They look more like twins than Robby and Tyler, but these are even different genders!!!! Dan is drooling over the retro video game collection! They had so many rare and old games and systems. QVC @ The Mall? Doesn't that ruin the entire purpose? Next up was lunch at Tucci Benucch. I think this was a special appetizer of Gnocchi. This is all that was left of the scallops (I think). Dan gives my chicken the stink eye because it's so much better than his food. Amy decided to get a small pizza so she wouldn't ruin her appetite for dinner. We decided to take a tour around the park. We will see you at ERT Sponge Bob! KidTums enjoy the kiddie coaster, while Elissa really enjoys the kiddie coaster. If you take one more damn picture of me I will go Italian mob on you. When visiting Ikea, remember to leave your ho's outside. 54" is a standard height, but 37"? How do you decide that that is the number? Elissa's wedding night . (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!) This was the largest fan I have ever seen. It was bigger than most airplane propellers. We missed the Blizzard truck! I would have eaten a ton of ice cream. I guess it was a good thing they were leaving. Definitely not the crap Pepsi. We played some games and won a bunch of Sharks! Got a little snack of smashed potatoes. We went back to the hotel for a little rest. Here are some of the TPR goodie bags. And here are even more! They probably pay more for the bag fees than the actual airline tickets! Kirsten played a game of super fast speed jumping over the Hanno and Joey monsters. Dan and I got the room ready for John's arrival. We wanted to head back to the mall, but we had to wait for Dan to recover from his diabetic coma. How rude. Back at the mall we check out the retro game store. They had a really cool NES, SNES, and Genesis all-in-one system! They had a Dave approved wall of Ice Bat and friends. We arrived for our pre-arrival dinner at CRAVE! It was incredible, and we ate an enormous amount. I think we took up 3 or 4 tables that were all this size. I think this was the Yellowtail appetizer. It was gone in a couple of seconds. (Sorry for the blurry pics, I promise they will get better.) The Tuna Tataki was also devoured in seconds. No clue what this was, but it was delicious. The Baked Crab & Artichoke was amazing! The Pesto Shrimp (Sautéed tiger shrimp, pistachio,pesto, oven-dried tomato, and crostini) = Heaven. That's it for the appetizers! Dan was disgusted at how much I ate. Amy got the obviously low-fat Baked Cheese Penne with shrimp. I decided on the small sample of Minnesota Walleye with grilled chipotle polenta, and braised red cabbage. It was a nice finish for a simple meal. Needless to say, I didn't have room for dessert. Time to head back through the closed park and on to our hotel for the night! Edited January 12, 2012 by jray21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ebl Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 ^ Not a Pepsi fan, are ya, Joey? No worries---neither am I. It's all about Coke at our house! Looks like you guys had a great time. Eric Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PSiRockin Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Well, that's is a lot of quality pictures with great captions. A chapel in a mall? I like Pepsi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Oh man! A lot of awesome food on the site today! Can't wait to see more of your TR! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Starr Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Awesome TR! Definitely loving the food atmosphere on TPR today Looking forward to more updates! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
disneyfan1313 Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Yay for other people who take pictures of their food!!! We randomly have the only Crave outside of Minnesota in Orlando... good stuff. Looking forward to more!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doublestufforeo Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 This makes me want to whip out my camera and start cooking, and see what terrible edible disasters I can come up with... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Movieguy Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 Great TR! I love seeing pictures of food and coasters all in one place. I've always wanted to see the Mall of America, and the addition of that new coaster is only feeding my desire! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derek_lentz Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I am offended that this trip report made me laugh out loud at work. I am looking foward to more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rosscoe Posted February 27, 2011 Share Posted February 27, 2011 I need, no want more pictures... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jray21 Posted February 28, 2011 Author Share Posted February 28, 2011 I like Pepsi Just saw that, but the text was really tiny before Not everyone can be perfect, so we will kindly put you into the nerd category Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krazekiddd Posted February 28, 2011 Share Posted February 28, 2011 How did I miss this? I can't wait to see more of the MidAmerica locals and food we encountered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gisco Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I like how you say that This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people and the first person you show is Amy! I see now why she is going with us to Australia and your not! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jray21 Posted March 1, 2011 Author Share Posted March 1, 2011 Haha! Didn't even realize that! Crap, now I might find myself kicked off the Road to Cedar Point as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrisrad Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 What a great and unique idea for a theme park tour trip review! Looking forward to more pictures!! (and captions) (and peopleofwalmart style humor) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coaster Palooza Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 WOW! This is a fantastic TR. Thanks for posting. I would like to get to the Mall of America at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amyzoo Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I like how you say that This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people and the first person you show is Amy! I see now why she is going with us to Australia and your not! That's ok, I can be included with the title. I probably gained 10 pounds between Europe and Mid-America trips, and I still haven't tried to get rid of it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^Don't admit to that Amy...it's called 'Winter weight' and it's perfectly acceptable for hibernation reasons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jray21 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^ . Well, I guess that means I could hibernate for 4 winters no problem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I would like to point out to anyone reading that was not on the trip that Joey ate more than the rest of the trip participants combined. Just during the Silver Dollar City day. dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SharkTums Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^Not so sure about that. Bryan's Salad at Lambert's was too big for a Brachiosaurus to finish!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meteornotes Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 ^This is true, but the volume of food I saw Joey consume before the park was even open would feed most of the western world for about a year. dt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Not For Sale Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 I don't like that you guys are implying I even made a dent in that thing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
coaster-crazy Posted March 2, 2011 Share Posted March 2, 2011 Awesome TR! I'M SO HUNGRY NOW!!!! Also, did no one notice the mis-spelling of Nickelodeon in this photo below? Nickoledeon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jray21 Posted March 2, 2011 Author Share Posted March 2, 2011 (edited) Day One is below. For Pre-Trip Day One, Click Here! Day One, the official first day of the trip! Today we ERT on Sponge Bob, Airbender, and ......... We had a lot of fun at this park. We met up with some old friends, some whom we had just met on the Europe trip, and met a ton of new ones. As this day was early in the trip, we hadn't really thought of the Food and Fatties theme, so I didn't get many food and fatties pictures. Don't worry though, I have hand picked some wonderful fatties from later on in the trip. As for food, I promise there will be many more in the future, especially the Silver Dollar City day! There were an incredible amount at Indiana Beach and The Wisconsin Dells. This was also the world's famous Leslie Hall day, but that deserves it's own post. Well, it's off to the pictures! TPDave once again realizes that he just screwed up the punchline. For some reason, the TPR gays said this was the best named coaster of the trip Nerds!!!!! Lot's if twistie goodness and great looking cars! Dan, that creepy dude with the camera is taking pictures of me! Dan approves of anything associated with a Rock Bottom Plunge! This time Dan can't blame the dog. Weeeeee! Why look at anything else when beautiful Robb Alvey is around! ! Oh crap, I hope Joey didn't get a picture of me staring at Robb's manly goodness The very deep Rock Bottom Plunge! Next up is Dave taking a ride on Airbender. I was pretty surprised at how close to the end it got. It was a 'hAir Bending' experience. Ok, that was a horrible caption. They also had built in electric shockers on the ride. Even Mike Austin's hair went straight up. "That was a horrible ride. It was absolutely terrible." E: "I'm sorry, this is a private event. We paid extra to have them open it early for us." Lady: But I see the ride running so why can't we ride it? E: "Grrrr, I hate dealing with stupid GP!" Proof that Mike Austin enjoyed at least one moment of the entire trip. Ashley gives his single and 'smart' Australian look. Mike gives his first Rock Bottom Plunge with Ashley two thumbs up! And now for a fatty break! Did anyone order extra cheese? (From the Wisconsin Dells) Now back to our regularly scheduled update. Ghost Blasters was a really fun dark shooting ride. Jackie was more scared of the TPR weirdos outside the ride, than of the ghosts inside! Tak Attack was a fun ride, but not fast or 'spinny' enough. Hey look, it's..... ..John and Robb! The very Nickelodeon and creatively named "Log Chute" was actually very good. Aaaaaah! I wish I could send this to his football buddies to show how tough he is These swings were awesome! They had backwards seats! Luckily I was there to catch the kid when he flew out of the Fairly Odd Coaster. Lots of spinning fun! A delicious steak and cheese sandwich! Up next was the Flying Dutchman Ghastly Gangplank. It felt a lot higher than it looked. The worker in black would sit on his safety rope like a swing. Ok, then it's definitely strong enough to hold me. Elissa is heading up to throw all the annoying kids off the structure. See! That girl and Dan were the only nice ones. Dan and Elissa working their way across the first level. There was no limit to where you wanted to go, and no real time limit as well. I spy, with my little eye, a green fatty! Hi Amy! Did you see me kick all of those kids off? A way high, Fatty Hi! (that's about the extent of my poetry skills) Dan makes it to gangplank! Thanks Amy for taking the most flattering picture of your husband yet! Elissa may not have conquered the rug, but she conquered the Gangplank!!! Is this supposed to be making a cracking sound? WWE's newest fighter, The Diabetic Destroyer! His signature move is the "Insulin Forearm Spike!" Dan and Elissa were waiting for me to fall so they could laugh their A$$es off! Break time! "Hey, where did you guys buy the black and purple life preservers? Oh, my bad. Sorry." (Wisconsin Dells) Help! Catherine and Jackie joined in the festivities! Thankfully we talked TPDave out of wearing his skirt. Catherine carefully makes her way across. She is just a little above center. Pretty high! Yeah! Just one more level to go! Jackie wishes Elissa was up there to take out the slow people in front of her. TPDave's not too sure about this next step. Rich displays perfect form with the vastly popular Duck Footed Hook technique. Neil was able to float in mid-air off the platform. Oh, is he going to fall? I think he's going to fall! This is how the TPR Gangsta's roll. And then there is Dora. (SFGA - Ragin' Cajun) This lady didn't even bother changing after being discharged from the hospital. Dan and John had to get as far over as they could to escape all the excess juices. Next up is the Atomic Collider as the Orange Crush rushes by. John and Robb get warped back to their days at Knott's! Weeeeeeeee! Ok, I'm going to throw up, get me out of this damn seat. I told you you should have gone to the bathroom before the ride! I see some TPR members on Tak Attack! Hey everbody, It's Shaving time! Shavy Shavy, Shave, Shave, Shavy Shavy, SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE..... There was also a Pez convention taking place at the TPR Hotel! It was closed door, but I was able to sneak this shot. Time to play the game, "Find the Fatty!" Mmmmm, time for a 2000 calorie Chocolate malt farewell drink! Thanks for an awesome time Mall of America! New State credit, IOWA! Up first was the official welcome dinner at Bucca di Beppo! It was incredible, but it was family style so I was too busy fending off my siblings to take pictures! Hey, that's the same picture I have of myself after this trip! They have a ton of these odd, funny, and disturbing pictures/signs. Nothing compliments a nice Italian dinner than a picture of the mob taking out ol' Vinny. I think I will pass on chocolate dessert. Nothing says priesthood like a couple of joints. All trip participants got these awesome Buca iPhone cases! Everyone is very content and exhausted, and it's only day one! Now that you've seen this picture, you've seen Iowa! Then Elissa wakes us all up and lets us in on a little MASSIVE surprise. Leslie Hall is going to meet us at the Bates Motel in Boondocks!!!!! To be continued....... What the...... ...HELL WAS THAT!!! Edited March 5, 2011 by jray21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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