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Food and Fatties of Middle America!

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From the bottom of every TPR page, Disclaimer! You need a sense of humor to view our site,

if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back now!


*Warning: I am fat, ugly, and a coaster nerd (30 +lbs. over what is considered normal). Therefore, I am allowed to make fun of other fat, ugly, and nerdy people. This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people, and will make fun of people who are also fat, ugly, and nerdy. If you are easily offended, take this as a warning to not view this report! Some of you may think it is beyond humor and just mean, if you are one of those people, please do not continue looking at this report. The pictures in this report will be similar to those found on PeopleofWalmart.com. If you find PeopleofWalmart.com offensive, then you will also find this thread offensive. You have been warned.*


*Bryan Stoll Disclaimer - Many many many animals were killed and eaten in the making of this thread. Vegetarian discretion is advised*


This is my trip report for the 2010 TPR Middle America trip! The idea for "Food and Fatties" was decided upon after a lengthy discussion between Amy, Dan, and I. Amy, Dan, and I (and many others) ate an incredible amount of food on this trip so we decided to record our 10+ lbs of weight gain. Each. Also, being in Middle-America we soon noticed the incredibly vast numbers of 'unique' looking individuals. We decided that just as people document the Loch Ness monster and Bigfoot, we needed to record these Middle-America oddities for generations to come. This was one of the greatest event/trip/vacations of my life. From the coasters, to Leslie Hall, to the City Museum, to Lambert's, and to the bus driver's stand up comedy, this trip was non-stop fun and excitement. Thank you, you have been warned. Enjoy!


Make sure to follow along for a chance to win a one-of-a-kind TPR souvenir signed by none other than Leslie Hall, along with some TPR celebrities like Dan, TPDave, and Lou!!!




Pre-Arrival: This was the pre-arrival day and dinner at the Mall of America.

Day One: Mall of America, Sponge Bob, and a few hand selected Fatties!

Day One Evening: LESLIE HALL!!!!!

Day Two: Adventureland, almost death by tree, Pedo-Dan, PROWLER, and Waffle House!!!!

Day Three: World's of Fun, Private Time with Prowler, and Lambert's!

Day Four, Part One - Silver Dollar City!!! Food, a fatty quiz, and Barry M. Deeper!

Day Four, Part Two - Silver Dollar City! A big hole in the ground, more food, and a massive fatty!

Day Five - St. Louis Missouri! Pizza Hut, White Castle, St. Louis Arch, and the CITY MUSEUM!!!!

Day Six: Six Flags St. Louis, Mr. Freeze Backstage Tour, Krispy Kreme doughnuts, and horrendous heat!

Day Seven: Holiday World! The Voyage walk back, great food, and a warped look at nursery rhymes!

Day Eight: Indiana Beach - Lot's of food, Revenge of the Kankles, Fascination, and Steel Hawg!

Day Nine: Six Flags Great America: Superman ERT, Raging Bull, Backstage Tour, and Dan gets WET!!!!

Day Ten: The Wisconsin Dells, All About Bryan Day, and half-naked Fatties!

Day Eleven: Valleyfair! FINAL DAY of the trip! Domo day, more food, and Renegade!


Pre-Arrival - We arrived in Minneapolis, Minnesota in the evening and headed over to the Mall of America for dinner and shopping. I was excited to find a Famous Dave's there as I love eating their ribs at the Reno Rib Cook-Off. Little did I know that a year later we would be getting one in Reno!!!! It was excellent food. We then went and saw Inception in the D-box theater. The best way to describe D-box is like a very tame version of Sponge Bob or Shrek 4D. The seats are choreographed with the movie and move a little with the camera. They have an intensity setting so you can make it move less or stop moving if you start getting sick. We don't really recommend it. If it was a movie with planes or cars it would have been better, but it was a little odd to be moving with the camera in a movie like Inception. Another bad thing was that the seats were the very last rows of the theater so you were pretty far back. Also, the seats were taller than normal so short people like us had our feet barely touching the ground and it became a little uncomfortable. We watched the last show of the night, I think it was the midnight showing, so we didn't get out of the theater until after 2 am! At this point we had to exit out near the theater, which was on the other side of the massive mall! We had to walk really far to our hotel and it took us over 40 minutes! I thought for sure we were going to get mugged. Anyway, we woke up the next morning and met up with the Robb, Elissa, Kristen, and Dan, and headed back to the mall. We did a little at the park, walked around the mall, met up with other TPR members, did an Ikea run, and had a pre-arrival dinner! The dinner was incredible and I ate a ton! Since this is early in the trip, we hadn't decided on the 'theme' of the report yet so besides the fat ugly pictures of me, there is only one other 'fattie' picture.


In the air leaving the 'beautiful' state of Nevada ;)


We arrived to see that MSP also has one of the M&M's like the Alvey's!


See kids, this is why smoking is bad for you.


We made it the mall for dinner and a movie!


This is the directory for the mall. There were three panels of stores!


Food may love Pepsi, but no one else does.


We will see you tomorrow Sponge Bob!


Time for Famous Daves! Up first was the Smoked Salmon Spread.


Amy got the chicken and shredded pork.


I got the delicious ribs and brisket.


I was too slow to get a picture of the pecan pie. This was our second dinner, so we didn't eat too much. Had I known there was a Famous Dave's here, I would have saved up.


Sitting in our D-box seats waiting for the movie.


Yay, a backpack to match my nerdy shirt! (First nerd and ugly shot of the report!)


I had a premonition that pictures with mustaches would be part of the trip.


A shark backpack! I'm sure Dave would have had this bag when he was growing up.


This greets you right at the entrance to the mall. Is this a TPR welcome or what!


Sponge Bob welcomes everyone to Nickelodeon Universe!


KidTums says hello to Sponge Bob and Patrick!


KidTums is absolutely the cutest kid in the world!


By Ming-Ming, your too slow.


A tiny portion of the mall.


They had MagiQuest. I've never done it, but I know a lot of TPR's love it.


Show her how much you really love her. Hey, if she can fake it, why can't you!


Family Foursome for only $26!? A family foursome in Reno costs a lot more, and has a whole different meaning! ;)


Nothing says Bad Attitude like colorful boxers! Congratulations Sir, your our first fatty!


The Splat-O-Sphere was the middle-child of the drop towers. Not really tall enough for a drop tower, but much taller than a frog hopper.


Tak Attack was sickening and fun!


They have the Taito Drum Game!! This is the best game in any mall or theme park in America!


Nothing says love from Minnesota like Loons, Walleyes, and Mosquitos?


I definitely didn't think of a bean bag when I saw the stores name.


Nothing else says love from Minnesota like a wedding chapel in a mall! Talk about classy!


Yay, Dave meets up with us! Also, check out the people in the background! They look more like twins than Robby and Tyler, but these are even different genders!!!!


Dan is drooling over the retro video game collection! They had so many rare and old games and systems.


QVC @ The Mall? Doesn't that ruin the entire purpose?


Next up was lunch at Tucci Benucch. I think this was a special appetizer of Gnocchi.


This is all that was left of the scallops (I think).


Dan gives my chicken the stink eye because it's so much better than his food.


Amy decided to get a small pizza so she wouldn't ruin her appetite for dinner.


We decided to take a tour around the park. We will see you at ERT Sponge Bob!


KidTums enjoy the kiddie coaster, while Elissa really enjoys the kiddie coaster.


If you take one more damn picture of me I will go Italian mob on you.


When visiting Ikea, remember to leave your ho's outside.


54" is a standard height, but 37"? How do you decide that that is the number?


Elissa's wedding night ;). (I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!)


This was the largest fan I have ever seen. It was bigger than most airplane propellers.


We missed the Blizzard truck! I would have eaten a ton of ice cream. I guess it was a good thing they were leaving.


Definitely not the crap Pepsi.


We played some games and won a bunch of Sharks!


Got a little snack of smashed potatoes.


We went back to the hotel for a little rest. Here are some of the TPR goodie bags.


And here are even more! They probably pay more for the bag fees than the actual airline tickets!


Kirsten played a game of super fast speed jumping over the Hanno and Joey monsters.


Dan and I got the room ready for John's arrival.


We wanted to head back to the mall, but we had to wait for Dan to recover from his diabetic coma. How rude.


Back at the mall we check out the retro game store. They had a really cool NES, SNES, and Genesis all-in-one system!


They had a Dave approved wall of Ice Bat and friends.


We arrived for our pre-arrival dinner at CRAVE! It was incredible, and we ate an enormous amount.


I think we took up 3 or 4 tables that were all this size.


I think this was the Yellowtail appetizer. It was gone in a couple of seconds. (Sorry for the blurry pics, I promise they will get better.)


The Tuna Tataki was also devoured in seconds.


No clue what this was, but it was delicious.


The Baked Crab & Artichoke was amazing!


The Pesto Shrimp (Sautéed tiger shrimp, pistachio,pesto, oven-dried tomato, and crostini) = Heaven. That's it for the appetizers!


Dan was disgusted at how much I ate.


Amy got the obviously low-fat Baked Cheese Penne with shrimp.


I decided on the small sample of Minnesota Walleye with grilled chipotle polenta, and braised red cabbage. It was a nice finish for a simple meal. Needless to say, I didn't have room for dessert.


Time to head back through the closed park and on to our hotel for the night!

Edited by jray21
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I like how you say that This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people and the first person you show is Amy! I see now why she is going with us to Australia and your not!

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What a great and unique idea for a theme park tour trip review!


Looking forward to more pictures!! (and captions)






(and peopleofwalmart style humor)

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I like how you say that This report will contain pictures of fat, ugly, and nerdy people and the first person you show is Amy! I see now why she is going with us to Australia and your not!


That's ok, I can be included with the title. I probably gained 10 pounds between Europe and Mid-America trips, and I still haven't tried to get rid of it!

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