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Not For Sale

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About Not For Sale

  • Birthday 06/26/1990

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  1. All I have to say is that there's been nothing but positive comments from people that have ridden. Stop complaining and being a sourpuss.
  2. I don't mean to alarm anyone, but I don't see a buss bar in that concept art...
  3. Adam and I take full responsibility for this decision. [piers]You're welcome[/piers]
  4. The Bryan and Adam Show Go IAAPA! Ah, it's that time of year again. The air is slightly less humid, the driving is slightly less Outrun-y, and Adam's horn recedes. It must mean it's time to go IAAPA! We got some notes from Coca-Cola (proud Bryan and Adam Show sponsor) that we need to "sex it up" a little bit. Whoa whoa whoa. They said a LITTLE. By the way this building has a Delorean on top of it. Y'know, 'cause future. There was a bunch of these laser mazes this year. It's like lasers just became cheap enough to use. That can't be it, right? Sincere question. Adam had to take a bathroom break after the lady touched him. He came out 3 minutes later, looked exhausted, took a quick nap, then was ready for more show. I JUST AGAIN ALL OVER MYSELF A wild Texas appears! Adam got very upset by this. They had a dance battle to prove dominance whoops I forgot to get a picture oh well guess you'll just have to believe me We really had a funovating time there. Just got a call from corporate. They said to TONE IT WAY DOWN And then Adam spotted it. And lept inside, shocking the security guard (pictured). Then, suddenly, ennui. You have to understand, doing the Bryan and Adam Show has made us extremely wealthy. We have so much money that if the moon is JUST RIGHT, cash will orbit around us. Oh, I should mention, we were shown around IAAPA via hovercraft. With a security detail. Texas had to walk. And then I took a little demo of this weather controlling machine. It claims to be able to cause hurricanes. Maniacal laugh! Maniacal laugh! Now, to finally destroy the Bat-man! Here's some unsolicited advice: don't sell cheesy hot dog bites and mini do[ugh]nuts at the same time. You guys, we are SO wacky! Yes, ketchup seasoning. If you can't read that on the bottom it says "Great for: potatoes, veggies [not including potatoes], burgers, chicken, pasta, soup, bread, yogurt, cereal, and lollipops." I don't know what this is but I think rich people have these things so I want it. You guys, they got all 9 dimensions in one movie! Let's count them off, shall we? There's the x, y, and z planes as your standard 3 dimensions. Then time. After that there's touching tasting seeing hearing smelling and getting sprayed with water. That's all 9, right? FIESTA HOY Look! It's my favorite character! The Foot Locker Bear(?)! So Adam barged into this booth and was all LET ME SLIDE DOWN THIS ON A TUBE And they were all K And then he kinda just sat there a while. It was weird. We directed the hovercrafts in the direction of outdoors. I guess we can ride something. Wait, what's this? I thought it was some sort of moving tree, considering its colors. They really had me fooled there! The moving tree ride was fun but I still resent it for tricking me. So we went back inside and found this, the ice cream of the future! In the future, using the letter Z instead of an S is not considered condescending! Then we went back to see our employers Adam tried Slurm. He says it's highly addictive. Also they told us to sex it up again. They need to make up their minds because we can't handle these mixed messages. You guys. Rasta mushrooms. You. Guys. This bag is also a liar. This car is purple. That's a real person. These captions are difficult to write. Here's Adam, ladies. Here's ALL of Adam. ...Ladies Oh by the way he's about to do the ropes course ...Ladies. And now begins a brief section, entitled "The worst pictures of Adam" This one speaks magnitudes. Thus concludes the section, "The worst pictures of Adam". Thank you. I can't even I don't know do you really need me to make a joke about this? So Adam has started doing this weird thing where he acts normal, then every few steps he takes, he poses and stares right into the camera. I'm not saying it's bad (it is) or stupid (it is), but maybe he's just gotten so used to the paparazzi that he just plays along now. Or maybe it's some sort of sick compulsion and he gets his jollies off from it... Yeah, yeah, definitely that last one. I yelled up to him "I'M GOING TO TELL THEM YOUR SECRET" But it only made him mug even more! It's like he wants people to know. He's a sick, sick man. Then he started touching himself, and then it got weird for everyone. I had to take a step away. Not literally step, of course. I hovered away. I decided I'd go panning for ...stuff... to get my mind off of it. And voila! Stuff! That bag is in one of the 300 bags of crap, and boy is it. I heard SeaWorld was impressed with Potter's ride system so they're going to use this one for Antarctica. Oh! I found Adam! We went to go pull some frog tongues together, which sounds like a euphemism. Because it is. We went to go murder some people. Notice how the professor has no students? Notice how he's sobbing? We pulled so many frog tongues. Babies making babies! A paradox! Gasp! And then I was all "Get a load of this chump's hovercraft! He drives it himself! Chump!" And that's the abrupt end to The Bryan and Adam Show Go IAAPA. Hope you liked it, and thank you for reading. I'm gonna go pass out now.
  5. Bryan and Adam, in their Odd-est-venture yet! Since I don't actually say it in the update: Stay far, far away from Bonanza Golf. Now, enjoy. Welcome to Bonanza Golf, located on beautiful Cici's Mountain! See? Little known fact: all of this is naturally occurring. Oh! we must be in the right place. Also, I found a free knife in this cool themed bench that they had! Sometimes it's nice just to enjoy nature. Natural nature. Supplies in hand, Bryan and Adam set off for odd-venture. First, the art gallery. This piece was from 2006 and done via graphite on painted wood. Just to think, this took millions of years to form. Moishe had us play on the gold nugget course. I wonder why. Good thing I kept that knife. Clearly someone forgot their hiking gear. http://boingboing.net/2011/11/01/pictures-of-people-about-to-smash-something-but-they-obviously-arent-really.html Fact: Adam is 90. It's so weird how the grass is 2 different colors. The bottom one must be nutrient-rich from people shitting themselves with excitement. Ew gross don't touch it And of course it got stuck in there. What did you think would happen? If you'd like to see golf ball POV, click "like" on Facebook. Anywhere. All of a sudden, Adam started scheming. "First off, I'm going to tell those punks to get off my lawn, then..." "I won't break my hip because I hear it's very expensive, then..." "Oh. That was all." It's really quite beautiful here. Grant W... Where have I heard that before? I should explain: these are called "cave paintings". While they appear to be coherent thought, they aren't. Some used tools such as "cray-on" to draw their crude ramblings. While others used bird poop. This one is particularly interesting, as it shows not all of these people were neanderthals. Some were bears. It truly is a sight to behold. What's amazing is how you can just drive through the mountain to and from the parking lot. It's a shame that they put these GOLF signs up though. They really ruin the tranquil environment. Not a joke: This place is called "Ace Plus Chinese Buffet". I swear. OH GOD TOO MUCH ACE PLUS BUFFET Adam drank a lot of water. Because he didn't want to pay for a soda. And then Adam noticed my grey hair. Doesn't change the fact that Adam is 90. Adam told me we needed to really "sex it up". Then he told me to "sex it down". "Stop telling me to cut my arm off with a Swiss army knife. It's weirding me out. I'm staying up here until you calm down." I found some nice holes. I wish I was spelunking certified. Adam is scuba certified. Don't bother asking him about it, he'll remind you every 5 minutes you talk to him. Here's the thing about these more "rustic" courses: their ground tends to be uneven, leading to "ripples" in the grass. And then we noticed... They've been mining Cici's Mountain! The Bryan and Adam Show would like to remind you that delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola classic does not associate itself with the mining of Cici's Mountain and this is purely incidental. And we started to realize... There's gold in that there mine! Newly rich, we decided to hit up the local saloon. On second thought... Let's just get this over with. Done with the course, we decided to go further into the mountain to take a look at the locals' shop. We're real impulse shoppers, especially after coming into such a fortune. "I just gotta have it!" Adam asked the man at the counter if he could sell him the metal poles so he can hang it up as high as possible. He could, so Adam bought. And we couldn't resist the antiques! If you don't like this, you're a jerk. Oh, wait, no. It just means you're an adult. Yeah, if you don't like this, you're an adult. "This seems ill-advised! I'll take them all!" And that was the last cent I had. So I stole everything else that I wanted. Cheese it! It's the sherief! GATOR! RUN! TILLY! RUN! QUICK! IN THE WATER! After days at sea, we finally found land. It seemed to be some remote island off of Florida. Indeed, it was! "Well, since we can't go back to the mainland..." "Hey wait a second! We're saved!" "Bryan, let it go. We're going back to Orlando." So we made the long trek back. This time by foot. "DIRECTIONS CONFUSE ME SOMETIMES BUT I'M GOOD AT THIS ONE" And we made it! Thanks so much for reading. We do really appreciate it. We work pretty hard on these, so we always appreciate when people take the time to reply. Who knows, maybe it'll inspire us to do some more updates.
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