The Bryan and Adam Show Go IAAPA!
Ah, it's that time of year again. The air is slightly less humid, the driving is slightly less Outrun-y, and Adam's horn recedes. It must mean it's time to go IAAPA!
We got some notes from Coca-Cola (proud Bryan and Adam Show sponsor) that we need to "sex it up" a little bit.
Whoa whoa whoa. They said a LITTLE.
By the way this building has a Delorean on top of it.
Y'know, 'cause future.
There was a bunch of these laser mazes this year. It's like lasers just became cheap enough to use. That can't be it, right? Sincere question.
Adam had to take a bathroom break after the lady touched him. He came out 3 minutes later, looked exhausted, took a quick nap, then was ready for more show.
I JUST AGAIN ALL OVER MYSELF
A wild Texas appears!
Adam got very upset by this. They had a dance battle to prove dominance whoops I forgot to get a picture oh well guess you'll just have to believe me
We really had a funovating time there.
Just got a call from corporate. They said to TONE IT WAY DOWN
And then Adam spotted it.
And lept inside, shocking the security guard (pictured).
Then, suddenly, ennui. You have to understand, doing the Bryan and Adam Show has made us extremely wealthy.
We have so much money that if the moon is JUST RIGHT, cash will orbit around us.
Oh, I should mention, we were shown around IAAPA via hovercraft. With a security detail. Texas had to walk.
And then I took a little demo of this weather controlling machine. It claims to be able to cause hurricanes.
Maniacal laugh! Maniacal laugh!
Now, to finally destroy the Bat-man!
Here's some unsolicited advice: don't sell cheesy hot dog bites and mini do[ugh]nuts at the same time.
You guys, we are SO wacky!
Yes, ketchup seasoning. If you can't read that on the bottom it says "Great for: potatoes, veggies [not including potatoes], burgers, chicken, pasta, soup, bread, yogurt, cereal, and lollipops."
I don't know what this is but I think rich people have these things so I want it.
You guys, they got all 9 dimensions in one movie! Let's count them off, shall we? There's the x, y, and z planes as your standard 3 dimensions. Then time. After that there's touching tasting seeing hearing smelling and getting sprayed with water. That's all 9, right?
Look! It's my favorite character! The Foot Locker Bear(?)!
So Adam barged into this booth and was all LET ME SLIDE DOWN THIS ON A TUBE
And they were all K
And then he kinda just sat there a while. It was weird.
We directed the hovercrafts in the direction of outdoors.
I guess we can ride something.
Wait, what's this? I thought it was some sort of moving tree, considering its colors. They really had me fooled there!
The moving tree ride was fun but I still resent it for tricking me.
So we went back inside and found this, the ice cream of the future!
In the future, using the letter Z instead of an S is not considered condescending!
Then we went back to see our employers
Adam tried Slurm. He says it's highly addictive.
Also they told us to sex it up again. They need to make up their minds because we can't handle these mixed messages.
You guys. Rasta mushrooms. You. Guys.
This bag is also a liar.
This car is purple.
That's a real person.
These captions are difficult to write.
Here's Adam, ladies. Here's ALL of Adam.
Oh by the way he's about to do the ropes course ...Ladies.
And now begins a brief section, entitled "The worst pictures of Adam"
This one speaks magnitudes.
Thus concludes the section, "The worst pictures of Adam". Thank you.
I can't even I don't know do you really need me to make a joke about this?
So Adam has started doing this weird thing where he acts normal, then every few steps he takes, he poses and stares right into the camera.
I'm not saying it's bad (it is) or stupid (it is), but maybe he's just gotten so used to the paparazzi that he just plays along now.
Or maybe it's some sort of sick compulsion and he gets his jollies off from it...
Yeah, yeah, definitely that last one.
I yelled up to him "I'M GOING TO TELL THEM YOUR SECRET"
But it only made him mug even more! It's like he wants people to know. He's a sick, sick man.
Then he started touching himself, and then it got weird for everyone. I had to take a step away. Not literally step, of course. I hovered away.
I decided I'd go panning for ...stuff... to get my mind off of it.
And voila! Stuff! That bag is in one of the 300 bags of crap, and boy is it.
I heard SeaWorld was impressed with Potter's ride system so they're going to use this one for Antarctica.
Oh! I found Adam!
We went to go pull some frog tongues together, which sounds like a euphemism.
Because it is. We went to go murder some people.
Notice how the professor has no students? Notice how he's sobbing? We pulled so many frog tongues.
Babies making babies! A paradox! Gasp!
And then I was all "Get a load of this chump's hovercraft! He drives it himself! Chump!"
And that's the abrupt end to The Bryan and Adam Show Go IAAPA. Hope you liked it, and thank you for reading. I'm gonna go pass out now.