Haunted Mansion Goes PC

[Paul Arthur]

From Jim Hill Media

jimhillmedia.com

 

Forget about "Grim Grinning Ghosts." Get ready for "Prim, we-don't-mean-to-offend-anyone Ghosts."

 

That's the word coming out of Glendale these days. Reportedly in response to guest complaints about goofy but ghoulish lines like "Drag your wretched bodies to the dead center of the room," the Imagineers will soon be revamping the script for the Haunted Mansion. Deliberately changing lines that Disney cast members on both coasts have said for almost 40 years now in favor of less objectional material.

 

"Why make this change now?," you ask. Truth be told, those macabre remarks that all of those "butlers" and "maids" have made to Disneyland & Walt Disney World guests over the years were never actually scripted. They were just ad-lib lines that got laughs that -- over time -- then became the pro forma dialogue used in the Foyer and the Portrait Gallery.

 

Well, that's all about to change. According to my sources at WDI, in order to prevent squeamish guests from being offended by semi-improv-ed remarks like "Please follow the blood red carpet into the Foyer," the Imagineers have now written an official script for the Mansion's entrance area. What's more, the cast members who work at both the Anaheim & Orlando versions of this attraction will soon supposedly be asked to attend acting classes. Where they will then be taught the official staging & blocking for this new script.

 

As you might imagine, once the news of this proposed change started making the rounds among Disney cast members who work at the Mansion, the grousing began. As one Disneyland vet put it: "Half the fun of working in the entrance area at the Mansion is that you got to play a character of your own devising. You could put a silly or sinister spin on the butler or the maid. It was all up to you. But now with this official script and the new blocking, that's all going to change. It won't be nearly as fun as it used to be to work at the Mansion."

 

Of course, Imagineering has an entirely different take on this tale. According to my guy in Glendale, this proposed change isn't about stifling cast members' creativity. But -- rather -- making sure that guests who visit the Disneyland & Walt Disney World versions of the Haunted Mansion get a consistent quality product. As he explained:

 

"First of all, please let your readers know that we're not touching anything that Paul Frees did for the Mansion. His Ghost Host will remain just as it always has. We'd never dream of touching that recording. It's a crucial component of what makes the Mansion so popular with Disney theme park guests. As for this new script that we're putting together for the cast members ... It isn't so much that WDI is responding to specific guest comments about offensive material at the Mansion. It's more about 'plussing' the guest experience. Giving Disneyland & Walt Disney World visitors something entertaining & new to view as they move from the Mansion's Entrance Hallway through the Foyer into the Portrait Gallery. Trust me. Once people hear the new script and see what the cast members are doing now, no theme park guest is ever going to complain again. They're just going to think that this is a clever addition to a classic Disney attraction."

 

[CycloneMan]

Lame!

[YoshiFan]

Anyone who gets offended at those lines shouldn't be going on the ride. It IS a haunted mansion, stuff like that is to be expected.

[Paul Arthur]

Next up... The Tower of Moderate Apprehension

[BeemerBoy]

This is for Jim Hill:

 

This is for the story, *if* true:

 

 

Funny, no one seems offeneded by pirates who pillage, plunder, and theoretically pimp out the towns' women.

[Wes]

"It isn't so much that WDI is responding to specific guest comments about offensive material at the Mansion. It's more about 'plussing' the guest experience. Giving Disneyland & Walt Disney World visitors something entertaining & new to view as they move from the Mansion's Entrance Hallway through the Foyer into the Portrait Gallery. Trust me. Once people hear the new script and see what the cast members are doing now, no theme park guest is ever going to complain again. They're just going to think that this is a clever addition to a classic Disney attraction."

[twistedmickey]

stupid. dumb. idiotic. retarded. any other choice words????

[BeemerBoy]

"It isn't so much that WDI is responding to specific guest comments about offensive material at the Mansion. It's more about 'plussing' the guest experience. Giving Disneyland & Walt Disney World visitors something entertaining & new to view as they move from the Mansion's Entrance Hallway through the Foyer into the Portrait Gallery. Trust me. Once people hear the new script and see what the cast members are doing now, no theme park guest is ever going to complain again. They're just going to think that this is a clever addition to a classic Disney attraction."

LOL. Give this guy a job at the White House.

[COASTER FREAK 11]

We will just have to wait and see what the script is. It could still be good, it will just be different from what we are used to. And as dissapointing as this is, there really is not much we can do about it.

[Wes]

^ Exactly. It might be really cool or it might really suck, we won't know until this gets instituted. Still, it's one or two lines of corny ad-lib that are getting tossed out, I mean sometimes the CM's don't even say the lines. It really affects the ride 0% if I never hear "Kindly drag your bodies away from the walls and into the dead center of the room" again.

 

Also, Jim Hill is one of the worst Disney bloggers in existence. His ability to make. Sentence fragments wherever he wants. Is really freaking. Annoying.

[cfc]

 

 

Funny, no one seems offeneded by pirates who pillage, plunder, and theoretically pimp out the towns' women.

 

That's why I was puzzled when they changed the original "pirates chasing wenches" scene to "pirates stealing food." It's OK to auction wenches as brides, but not to chase them around? Did the wenches consent to being objects at auction?

 

But I also believe that this is why Pirates remains so popular--where else in Disney do the bad guys win? It's like a tonic to the fairy-tale sweetness elsewhere.

[Paul Arthur]

I liked Mr. Toad's Wild Ride for many of the same reasons.......

[mcjaco]

Also, Jim Hill is one of the worst Disney bloggers in existence. His ability to make. Sentence fragments wherever he wants. Is really freaking. Annoying.

 

Amen. Amen.

 

He's once again shown that his post could, or could not happen, but spun it so he'll never be wrong.

[ginzo]

As someone who usually ignores pre-shows, I wouldn't expect this change to alter the Haunted Mansion experience to any significant extent. There is definitely room for improvement here though.

[ChrisFL]

Next up... The Tower of Moderate Apprehension

 

lolz

[Teacups Make Me Sick]

Maybe Disney will give the cast members singing and dance lessons and will do an acapella/can-can dance to welcome you into the elevator...

 

Turning the Haunted Mansion into A-Haunted-Mansion-Chorus-Line.

 

 

YAAA!!!!

 

[Jew]

If this is true (which I doubt, since it is Jim Hill), they might run into union issues. Giving them acting classes and a script puts them dangerously close to AGVA. I know the Innoventions CM's get a pay bump because of their spieling, so that could be a roadblock to this rumor (if it's true).

[arrowfanman]

I have heard "kindly drag your bodies away from the walls and into the dead center of the room", but I have never heard "wretched bodies" or reference to the "blood red carpet" in the portrait gallery. I don't think I'd notice the change that much and I ride Mansion an unhealthy number of times.

 

-Jahan

[BeemerBoy]

^ I haven't heard "blood red carpet," but have heard "wretched bodies."

 

But I also believe that this is why Pirates remains so popular--where else in Disney do the bad guys win? It's like a tonic to the fairy-tale sweetness elsewhere.

You forgot that evil villian in the Hall of Presidents. Just another character that half the nation is divided on, yet you never see anyone protesting his likeness in that attraction.

[dandaman]

Jim Hill is one of the worst Disney bloggers in existence. His ability to make. Sentence fragments wherever he wants. Is really freaking. Annoying.

 

He's like the Shatner that the "blogosphere" forgot.

[cfc]

^ I haven't heard "blood red carpet," but have heard "wretched bodies."

 

But I also believe that this is why Pirates remains so popular--where else in Disney do the bad guys win? It's like a tonic to the fairy-tale sweetness elsewhere.

You forgot that evil villian in the Hall of Presidents. Just another character that half the nation is divided on, yet you never see anyone protesting his likeness in that attraction.

 

I've only heard "dead center of the gallery," which hardly seems offensive. But I'll wait and see what the new changes are like before passing judgment.

 

Hmm--actually, there are a few "evil villains" in that Hall of Presidents.

[UniversalGSHo22]

 

 

Funny, no one seems offeneded by pirates who pillage, plunder, and theoretically pimp out the towns' women.

 

That's why I was puzzled when they changed the original "pirates chasing wenches" scene to "pirates stealing food." It's OK to auction wenches as brides, but not to chase them around? Did the wenches consent to being objects at auction?

 

But I also believe that this is why Pirates remains so popular--where else in Disney do the bad guys win? It's like a tonic to the fairy-tale sweetness elsewhere.

 

 

THis is exactally what I was thinking. In a world os sugary sweetness you have to have some vinegar. Not everything can be rosebuds and glitter. Obviously the Rum from Pirates has made a huge impact..... Everyone knows that IASW and Pooh and Snow White will always bee the "Happy Always Wins" type Rides so why change one of the Few "Darker" Rides to make it PC?? I just dont understand......

[christianscoasters]

I have a vision...

 

Walt Disney World will someday turn to utter crap, and close down.

 

Why?

 

Here's why:

 

Because people are stupid, ignorant, dumb, and they always find some way to become offended. When WDW closes, everyone's gonna be so sad, mad, etc. etc. But they shouldn't be. IT'S THEIR FAULT. Why are people dieing at WDW? Well, the majority of people are stupid, don't follow rules and/or don't pay attention. A lot of times, people have heart problems, but get on the ride anyway, instead of listening to the dangers!

 

And the Disney magic is going to be lost, because this "I'm offended" sh*t is going to keep happening. Why are you offended? Seriously? They're trying to add to the realism of the ride. I'm just so fed up of people being so rude, not caring, and taking every little word too seriously.

[arrowfanman]

Would you please not just read the headline, but critically read the entire article, before deciding to blow up irrationally!? It's a skill you're supposed to begin developing, in what--the 5th grade?

 

 

As the Mansion currently is, which speil you get seems to be dependant entirely on which Cast Member you get. While I'm all for personal expression and liberty, it isn't uncommon to get "that CM" that doesn't want to play along and use thematic speiling, making for a very monotonous and bland spiel.

 

When you read the entire article, what this sounds like isn't so much an attempt to "PC the Haunted Mansion" as Drama Queen Hill makes it out to be, but simply an attempt to standardize the experience. By providing a script, this will ensure that every cycle of guests will have the same thematic spiel, leaving no room for an over eccentric host/hostess or worse, that CM that just didn't want to show up to work and spiel anything.

 

Finally, they aren't touching the "Ghost Host" spiel, which is far more sacred than any improved CM-line.

 

I think Jim Hill is just putting a negative spin on something that can end up very positive ("plussing" as the WDI source refers to it as), simply for the sake of increasing his hit count. And apparently some people are buying into it!

 

-Jahan

[Wes]

^ No Jahan, he's the smartest coaster kid ever, he obviously knows what he's talking about. Disneyworld is totally going to close down because people are too dumb, it makes perfect sense.