What an awesome report, I'm so glad it's back! Can't wait for the next installment in two years! I wish Disneyland would bring back their flavored churros (not jelly doughnut type), but I guess I was the only one who liked them.
HEY GUESS WHAT WE HAVE A NEW UPDATE AND IT ONLY TOOK A FEW YEARS THIS TIME
"Good luck in Macbeth!" -Adam
"YOU DARE NOT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF AN ACCOMPLISHED THEATRE ACTORE"
What kind of gross person leaves a mattress on top of their car while they go to a park (or work)? I can't stop thinking about this. They know it rains a lot in Florida, right? Are they attempting to ruin their mattress?
Oh, right. We go to parks in these.
I don't get the reference. What does the Bryan and Adam Show have to do with American Idol?
Adam takes gross pictures. I didn't crop this at all. I'm not kidding.
As we were entering, we saw some street performers, and THEY SAW US TOO.
You guys get it? He's the stupid one because his suspenders are on wrong!
I feel bad making fun of these guys. They all commit 100%, have zero irony in what they do, and are meant to be enjoyed by children. That being said: nice looking straight down the barrel, croc-boy. Why don't you wear something that clashes more on your next visit? I'll fight you. Seriously.
LOOK AT HIM, DEALING DRUGS ON PROPERTY!
Listen, I had no idea how creepy it looks to have my arm around Adam like that when we took the photo. I was really trying to do a "normal" pose like "normal" people.
Look at my fingers curl up on his shoulder. He might as well be my intern I'm holding him so close.
This is the "holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa" of DHS.
I don't get it.
"We just made out."
"AND THE KISSIN AND THE SMOOCHIN AND THE HATE OF MY OWN RACE"
"We just made out."
"A hackneyed joke based on a catchphrase from 60 years ago!"
Here's the traditional acknowledgement of the existence of Sounds Dangerous photo for this update.
The "Great" Movie Ride...
...Is sponsored by delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola Classic! Enjoy one today!
How elegant! It looks just like a terrible Chinese restaurant!
A. The Island B. Battlefield Earth C. Pootie Tang D. Birth of a Nation
Fun fact: Adam has a family of squirrels living on his neck.
Wait why are we doing this?
I heard James Cagney once used a grapefruit as a sex toy. He never looked at breakfast the same way again.
So, remember when I was being nice about the street performers?
Let's just say, these people can shove it.
Oh, right. Screw these guys.
"Bryan, you shouldn't be so mean to the cast members"
"They're trying to get by, just like the rest of us"
"BUT THEY DON'T DO ACTING GOOD AND MAKE ME FEEL NICE"
"Also I don't like the black ones"
"Oops! Sorry, jew-god!"
"I'M NOT REALLY DEAD, I JUST LIKE SLEEPING ON DRY ICE"
"Lesson learned: don't begrudge bad actors at theme parks, don't be racist, and don't sleep on dry ice because that's totally weird"
Easy way to tell that this isn't New York: Adam isn't actively trying to avoid eye contact with other people.
Oh sweet release of Coca-Cola Classic, save me from this heck hole.
You must be wondering, why did Bryan say heck instead of the traditional, usual way of saying it?
Well, I ask you, why are you asking questions? This is a one-way form of communication! But to answer your question, our agreement with Coca-Cola forbids us from cussing in the captions of pictures depicting Coca-Cola Classic, which is delicious and refreshing.
"Why don't we go ride Midway Mania? It's my favorite!"
"What's that? You need to speak into my good ear, my other one keeps falling out"
WHAT IS THAT
KILL IT WITH FIRE
"Hey, what's that?"
"Oh, you mean this? It's called a topiary"
"Yeah, that! Let me point at it for a few more minutes and not say anything else because I like it so much"
I wonder how many companies Disney approached to sponsor rides, and how far down the list Hanes was.
Hey, you know what band is really really bad?
"Ha ha! I know all too well, Bryan."
"Thanks, guy from The Magic School Bus"
"Where's the armpit hair, Roth?!"
This is the part where I peed all over the queue.
If you ever thought this was clever, you don't belong in this thread. We don't want your business around here.
See how much I love you guys?
Oh yeah, I guess Adam loves you too.
EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE
RNRC IN DISNEYLAND
SOMEONE PICK UP THE RED PHONE, LANCE FROM SCREAMSCAPE IS ON THE OTHER END
Then we went on The Scary Door Tower of Terror
Ugh, why can't this be at a ride I don't actually like? Why do you have to make my job so hard?
The scariest of all equations are theoretical ones, we all know this.
You're entering an area in the vicinity adjacent to a location. The kind of location where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples, it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door
So I don't really remember the plot of the ride exactly so here's what I'm pretty sure happens: these dudes go into an elevator and are about to bone...
...but, like, the elevator is stuck, so they just start boning right in the elevator...
...but then the manager opens the door...
...and he's all, I want some'a that...
...so they're gettin' into it, but, like, the dudes can't keep it up...
...and, like, one of the chicks has magic powers and like makes them go away.
So then you go on and they drop you or whatever
Take a minute and just soak in everything that's happening in this picture
So I was loudly explaining the plot of the ride to Adam and they decided they didn't want our business anymore. What gives?
So we went to where we were welcome... A value resort.
And being nerds, we gravitated to the arcade immediately.
And Adam being a weirdo, he gravitated to a Star Wars thing.
I've heard Adam's cherry needs to be taken out as well.
Fun fact: this is modeled after Adam and I
So this is what it looks like when I don't realize a picture is being taken.
And this is when I make the ladies go wild.
So the reason we're really here is to eat, and what did we eat, you ask?
Yeah, Adam actually ordered that...
THIS is why we're here. The cheesecake here is awesome, it's tie-dye and has red velvet cake instead of the traditional crust.
INSIDE ME, NOW
Unfortunately, Adam thought he was supposed to eat the plastic, and I had to take him to the hospital. Then he died. The end.
These pages are in no way affiliated with nor endorsed by SeaWorld Parks & Entertainment, Cedar Fair, Legoland, Merlin Entertainment, Blackstone, Tussaud's Group, Six Flags, Universal Theme Parks, the Walt Disney Company or any other theme park company.
photos and videos on this website were taken with the permission of the park by
a professional ride photographer.
For yours and others safety, please do not attempt to take photos or videos at
parks without proper permission.
You need a sense of humor to view our site,
if you don't have a sense of humor, or are easily offended, please turn back
Most of the content on this forum is suitable for all ages. HOWEVER! There may be some content that would be considered rated "PG-13." Theme Park Review is NOT recommended for ages under 13 years of age.