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The "Say Something Random" Thread


robbalvey

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Something I wrote for my poetry class a number of months ago.

 

 

 

 

 

Teddy’s Last Defiance

 

 

Teddy was alone

In a barren patch of land

Between two gold-green hills.

A hasty turban covered his round ears

From the cool September sun.

His glassy eyes reflected

I-beams, logs, train rails, and lockers.

Below his button nose,

A cigarette butt burned.

 

Teddy swayed in the breeze

Hanging from a det cord noose.

A C-4 belt, uneven and dirty,

Encircled his fuzzy belly,

As a stick wrapped in det cord

Impaled his ass.

 

Teddy died under the mushroom cloud.

Tuffs of cottony innards

Burned and floated on the breeze.

His head, black and smoking, landed

Somewhere in the golden field.

He set fire to the grass

And flared into a raging brush fire.

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^...wow. THAT IS AWESOME!!!! I love it! I can't write free-verse poems like that, I only write things like this one, which I wrote in my free time:

 

 

Roller Coaster

 

The restraints came down on my shoulders

My heart was beating fast

The track was black below us

We were out of the station at last

 

We started straight then turned to the left

To climb the steep lift hill

The air was tense around us

We ride this beast at our will

 

The clanking of the lift hill stopped

We were finally at the top

It seemed there was no gravity

On that swooping first drop

 

We pulled up to the first inversion,

A 90-foot vertical loop

It flips you head-over-heels

Your brain will feel like soup

 

Next came the barrel roll inversion

Lifted high, high off the ground

If you were flung off at this part of the ride

You'd probably never be found!

 

Before we knew what was happening

We had been through another inversion

The scenery at the mid-course was great,

But our fear let us no diversion

 

We dropped down the drop into a helix

Then to corkscrews, inerlocking

When we went down the drop, it lead to a ravine

So the speed of the corkscrews is shocking!

 

We turn out of the corkscrews, into a flat bit

And then to the brake run and station

We got off the ride, and got back in line

'Cause it's the best in the nation!

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Today a 73 year-old woman called me at work. Her car was going to be written off after a crash. Now this is something I don't normally deal with because I do mechanical breakdowns, not car accidents. It was incredibly difficult to understand what she was trying to say, and she refused to speak to to the claims team in India because according to her she couldn't make out a word they were saying.

 

She was adamant that I had to stop her 15 year old Ford Fiesta from being scrapped and organise a replacement car, and it took me a full twenty-five minutes to make her realise that I could not help her, and she would need to speak to the claims team. For twenty-four minutes I was on the verge of laughing out loud, and trying to keep a straight face.

 

It wasn't Bob Hope funny, more like South Park funny if you get my drift - funny for all the wrong reasons. She didn't seem to comprehend that it was her fault, and the situation she was in - which is fair enough when you are getting on a bit down the timeline. But some of the lines she came out with were priceless. After I ended the call I took a good five minutes off to recover and stop giggling.

 

I think I'm going to hell for that.

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I have a caffeine addiction, my doctor told, me. I guess that would explain the excruciating headaches i get when I don't have at least a sip of soda in a day. I have no clue how I got it, must've slipped into one of my habits, and I didn't realize it. Oh well, better caffeine than any other drug... But its still not good.

 

Cat hair comes in more colors than human hair naturally.

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"Missä X" - Sour candies are of good value, though can be distracting, if you eat them while watch TV in the late evening, while streching your toes.

 

I'm more tired now, then I am on school mornings, when I wake up about 6.15 am. Anyway this should be a good day.

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