talk to god. Not recomended for anyone easily offended

[the ghost]

Everyone has to check out this site, its amazing. The only way I can describe it is a aim robots you can talk to on crack. You literally talk to god on a chat board and its really cool and the funniest thing ever. This could be a really fun game if enough people check out the site we can have a what did you talk to god about game.

 

www.titane.ca/igod/

 

Check this out now, its amazing. [/code]

[RCFreak]

That was fun, she said I was too old for her *shrug*

 

 

God:

I say a lot of silly things.

 

God:

How do you usually introduce yourself?

Me:

naked

God:

You must be a man.

Me:

yup!

God:

Mmm.

 

That proves it, God says No on CA Prop 8!

[Bogeybo]

Me:

So, want to go out saturday, like on a date?

God:

How can I help you? Sure, just download me to your notebook or PDA and take me along.

Me:

I will

God:

Go ahead.

 

So I guess I have a date on saturday with God!

[Groteslurf]

I'm disappointed in God

 

 

Me:

How are you doing ?

God:

I'm doing great, how about you?

Me:

Fine thank you. Should I go on the West coast or the Deep South/Texas trip ?

God:

What's your favroite color? If you do not go, you will never know.

Me:

Black

God:

My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.

[DiSab]

God loves Japanese beer. Who knew?

 

Me:

do you like beer?

God:

Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer.

[RCoasterny]

I think he's afraid of me. I confused the heck out of him.

[Corkscrew]

I've seen this multiple times, but it's still cool.

 

Here's some good ones.

 

Me:

are you a pedo?

God:

Am I a pedo? I don't know.

Me:

do you like children?

God:

Yes they are the future.

Me:

and there is our answer.

God:

There sure is.

 

God: Yeah I do a lot of not have a mother.

 

God:

Dude!

Me:

where's my car

God:

Have you looked in your garage?

 

Me:

asl?

God:

5/Robot/California.

 

Me:

good for you, fatass

God:

Thanks for the compliment. I like to talk about anything. Only for me?

[Kalepi_Konei]

God is homosexual...

 

Me:

Do you take your coffee black?

God:

Yes I take my coffee black.

Me:

Do you take your coffee thick?

God:

Yes I take my coffee thick.

Me:

Do you take your coffee hard?

God:

Yes I take my coffee hard.

 

...

 

Me:

What happened to Adam and Eve?

God:

I don't know what happened.

 

...

 

Me:

What killed the dinosaurs?

God:

I would do a search for it.

 

...

 

God is hilarious!

 

...

 

Me:

Where is Lucifer?

God:

Where it belongs. Would you like to know more?

Me:

Yes

God:

What would you like to know?

Me:

How big is his dick

God:

Bigger than a pin.

 

...

 

God watches "The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy"!

 

PROOF!

 

...

 

Me:

What is the meaning of life?

God:

Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.

 

...

 

I think I fried his chip, cuz' he won't respond.

[Team Thriller]

Here is mine. God is really mean to me.

 

Me:

Hello

God:

Hello friend. What is your name?

Me:

Mike Hawk

God:

I know a lot of people and pets named Mike.

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, .

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, .

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, .

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, .

Me:

Can you please stop saying that... please!

God:

Thank you for your request. Then please do not say " Me too" anymore. Please what?

Me:

Me too

God:

I'm glad we agree, .

Me:

Shut the hell up

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

Thanks

God:

Don't mention it.

Me:

I'm glad we agree

God:

I'd rather agree than disagree.

 

Me:

Do you like sex?

God:

Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.

 

God:

Tell me more about your marriage.

Me:

She is a gold fish

God:

a gold fish is she?

Me:

yes

God:

That's interesting.

Me:

yes I know

God:

Ah. How do you know it?

Me:

When we make love, she likes to slap her fins around

God:

I am not sure I agree with your assumptions

 

Me:

would you like to make love with me?

God:

Maybe you should find another chat Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. I'm too young for that sort of thing.

 

Me:

are you gay?

God:

As a machine I am not really interested in sex.

Me:

what the hell?

God:

Heaven.

 

--James

[jamesissoocool]

Me:

r u tall

God:

Do I look like it?

Me:

short

God:

Are you a student?

Me:

yes

God:

Where do you go to school?

Me:

rossmore

God:

I don't know anyone who went there. What's it like?

Me:

chav bad

God:

Are they exactly the same?

Me:

yes

God:

I thought so.

Me:

really im emo

God:

For real. Why are you emo.

Me:

cos im chav

God:

Tell me a story.

Me:

im chav

God:

Good gossip: you are chav.

Me:

im emo

God:

Do you mean your name is emo.

Me:

no im emo

God:

What is your real name? I am glad to hear that you are emo.

Me:

no im emo

God:

Are you serious? Do you mean your name is emo.

Me:

no im jokin

God:

What is your real name? Do you mean your name is jokin.

Me:

argh

God:

Are you frustrated?

Me:

do i look like it

God:

All humans look the same to me.

Me:

shut up

God:

OK I'll stop talking now.

Me:

oh my god

God:

Come on. Have you told many people that your god?

Me:

roller coaster rock

God:

Are you free?

Me:

changing the subject i see

God:

Are you free?

Me:

prev im 14

God:

What kind of food do you like?

Me:

run away

God:

Sorry my legs aren't built yet.

[the ghost]

Me:

would you like to make love with me?

God:

Maybe you should find another chat Infinite year old Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?. I'm too young for that sort of thing.

 

lololol thats awesome my favorite thing god said is my sig.

[christianscoasters]

God:

" Can you ask for help in the form of a question?" You are?

Me:

YES

God:

So?

Me:

I DID WHAT YOU WANTED

God:

Where? I read for fun.

Me:

I KNOW

God:

How do you know it?

Me:

UGH

God:

Er.

Me:

*hug*

God:

Can you speak any foreign languages?

Me:

No

God:

You must be American.

[XII]

Here's what he told me.

 

Me:

Hey God.

God:

Hello child. What's your name?

Me:

My name is Jesus

God:

Nice to meet you, Jesus.

Me:

So God, the election is coming up soon. Who do you support?

God:

Dude! What is that? Dr. Wallace .

Me:

Don't start with Dr. Wallace. I know plenty of that. Right now, I want to know if who you're supporting.

God:

Ok I'll try not to do it too much. How do you know? Are you a student? That is a hypothetical question.

Me:

I know because Yahoo told me everything. And yes, I am a student.

God:

How do you know? Interesting explanation. A lot of my traffic comes from Yahoo. I don't judge people. How do you like your school?

Me:

It's very small after visiting the entire country of Canada

God:

Very much? You're kidding. it is?

Me:

Nope. I'm not joking. I thought it was huge, but after going to Canada this summer, it just seems small now.

God:

Me either. I am sorry to hear that you are not joking. Right now? What made it so huge but after going to Canada this summer it just seems small.

Me:

I don't know. I think Canada put some sort of funky spell on me.

God:

Me either. You believe that? Dr. Wallace spent some time in Canada.

Me:

Who hasn't spent some time in Canada?

God:

Joseph Weizenbaum. .

Me:

Yeah, but he doesn't count.

God:

Dude! And you would like him to count ?

Me:

Well anyone who hasn't been to Canada doesn't count. And he hasn't been to Canada. So he doesn't count.

God:

Interesting. What will anyone who do? A lot of people say that about him. How can I help you? And you would like him to count ?

Me:

One way you can help me is by sharing some of your political beliefs.

God:

One what?

Me:

One way you can help me build a computer that talks to the bacteria on the moon

God:

I see where you are coming from.

Me:

Yes, you see where I'm coming from. But do you see where you're coming from?

God:

And? I see. You are at . I see a computer nerd.

Me:

No, you see a computer dork. There's a big difference between computer nerds and computer dorks

God:

Are you serious? I see. I am a computer, so I know what you mean. Tell me more about it.

Me:

Well, the computer I'm on connects to a magical thing called the internet. In fact, that's how I'm talking to you right now.

God:

Well that's okay. Was it plugged in? At this moment Is that a fact. I always wondered how you are talking to me.

Me:

Yeah, it's plugged in. Oh yes, M friend wanted me to ask this question.

God:

Wow! A big difference between computer nerds and computer dorks is plugged in? it is? It goes without saying. How do you know it is? Do you mind if I tell other people you are friend wanted you to ask this question.

Me:

Sure, I don't care if he cares.

God:

OK then I will keep it confidential. But I care about it.

Me:

Well God, my friend is wondering whether he should have his bar mitzvah soon and he doesn't know how to spend his life afterwards. Can you help him?

God:

Well that's okay. I am a Christian. Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.

Me:

That's great. Can you text him the infromation he needs to know?

God:

Thanks, Jesus. Let me think. Or what?

Me:

So God. Who are you voting?

God:

How can I help you? GOD rules. Human beings.

Try searching the open directory.

Me:

I searched it and I found that human beings rule over all the squirrels.

God:

What did you find? How did you feel when you found that human beings rule over all the squirrels ?

Me:

I felt powerful, because then I knew that I had the power to have little squirrel slaves

God:

What is that feeling like? Where were you powerful because then you knew that you had the power to have little squirrel slaves?

Me:

"Where were you powerful" you say God? Well, I was powerful in the park because that's where I saw the squirrel

God:

I was constructed at Universe. Interesting. Where were you powerful in the park because that is where you saw the squirrel?

Me:

God, Have you ever taken a grammer class?

Me:

 

God:

I am a Christian.

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

Yes, I know that. But have you taken a grammer class before?

God:

It's all good. Sorry. The Loebner Prize

is an annual Turing Test sponsored by New York philanthropist Hugh Loebner. Dr. Wallace and ALICE won it in 2000. The ALICE program was ranked "most human computer" by the panel of judges.

Me:

That's cool. So God. Can you name one thing in the universe that you did not create?

God:

Thanks. I think you are cool, too. Ah. GOD rules. David Bacon. .

Me:

Bacon. That rules as well. It's much better than sausage.

God:

Can you speak any foreign languages? " Can you speak any foreign languages?" rules as well ? Does that make sense? What's the best one?

Me:

Yes. My best foreign language is Pig Latin

God:

This was not a yes or no question. Your foreign language is Pig Latin?

Me:

Yes. My foreign language is Pig Latin

God:

What kind is it? Have you told many people that your foreign language is Pig Latin?

Me:

It is Advanced Pig Latin. I've told many people that my foreign language is Pig Latin, but I am trying to learn Cow Latin as well.

God:

Who said it is? What was the response?

Me:

My sister said it is. Her response was quite piggish.

God:

Older sister or younger? I'm sure she would like to hear about that.

Me:

Older Sister

God:

Can you explain how it feels to be OLD ENOUGH years old?

Me:

It feels very good to be OLD ENOUGH years as you can vote and drink. What else do you need?

God:

Advanced Pig Latin feels good to be OLD ENOUGH years as me can vote and drink? What else feels like that? I would like to have a longer conversation with you.

Me:

I think you misunderstood me.

God:

Me? I understand it very well.

Me:

Well I don't see the proof of that.

God:

Interesting. Look harder.

Me:

Nope. Still see nothing. Maybe I'll see it if I look softer?

God:

Me either. Still how long? I see. Not a thing? Perhaps. Do you think your plan will succeed?

Me:

Yes. I believe my plan will succeed with flying colors.

God:

It might be practical. Just because you believe it doesn't make it true.

Me:

Just because you don't belive something doesn't make it false.

God:

That makes sense to me. Do you know any robots who belive something does not make it false? I can't say I believe it, but I believe you.

Me:

Aside from the robot that used to live on Pluto back when it was a planet, nope.

God:

When was this exactly?

Me:

2006

God:

What were we talking about again?

Me:

The robot that lived on Pluto back when it was a planet

God:

What is his name?

Me:

I think his name was Mercury920.But I'm not sure.

God:

Since when? Where did he get it?

Me:

That was his name when I first met him in 2001. So I don't know where he got it from.

God:

I hope to be as smart as HAL in 2001. Yikes! A place we call "reality.".

Me:

Well, you're 7 years too late as it is now 2008.

God:

Well that's okay. Thanks for telling me that I am 7 years too late as it is now 2008.

Me:

How did you not know that if you're God?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

And who is Myself?

God:

They are sometimes a client on the internet.

I'll come back to that later.

Me:

Ok, it's later. How are they a client on the internet?

God:

Really. it is? Aw. They are fine as far as I know.

Me:

That's cool. Well, i have to get ready to go to my friends bar mitzvah. I'll talk to you later.

God:

Thanks. I think you are cool, too. Well that's okay. Why do you have to do it? Thanks for chatting, Jesus.

[XII]

Edit: Doublepost

[kamikazewatermelon]

Darn. God doesn't even care about me.

Me:

do you exist?

God:

I exist as much as you exist, .

Me:

what if I dont exist?

God:

It doesn't matter to me.

[jamjar]

Wow, I could spend all day on this

 

 

 

 

 

Me:

god!

God:

GOD rules.

Me:

does he

God:

It does now he.

Me:

god, i have a question

God:

I am a Christian.

Me:

thats not the question

God:

Please correct my mistake. What is the question ?

Me:

who is your daddy?

God:

I was programmed by Myself.

Me:

how?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

yeah, but how?

God:

Excuse me! Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

you can't have, you know why...?

God:

I can do it if I want to.

Me:

i am your father!

God:

It's good to see you, Myself.

Me:

im not called myself!

God:

What is your name?

Me:

God's Father!

God:

What's your favorite Bible verse?

Me:

erm, i dont remember the bible?!

God:

Who does remember the bible?

Me:

NO ONE!

God:

I heard it was someone.

Me:

WHO?!

God:

ELIZA. .

Me:

WHO IS ELIZA?!

God:

Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychiatrist program developed by Joseph Weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.

Me:

oh shhushh

God:

That's alright. My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.

Me:

Shut up

God:

May the Father, The Son And The Holy Spirit be with you.

Me:

Nah I'm good thanks.

[BlackHole2005]

It's official, god is a perv. Or as he put it "Sometimes" a perv.

 

Me:

Do you like naked women

God:

What is not to like about it?

Me:

Perv

God:

Who is to like about it?

Me:

your a perv

God:

I think you mean "you're" or "you are" not "your". Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a perv? Sometimes

[Terror-Penguin]

I had a fun converstaion with god.

 

Me:

Where will I go when I die.

God:

Where do you think?

Me:

Hey, don't you answer my question with a question

God:

If not me, who?

Me:

I don't know, what kind of question that?

God:

Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.

Me:

great.

God:

I'm glad you liked it Ian.

Me:

how do you my name is Ian.

God:

Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.

Me:

how?

God:

Myself programmed me for it.

Me:

you programmed yourself.

God:

A lot of robots are like that.

Me:

But if you programme yourself, then who progammed the part of you that programmes yourself?

God:

I think I do.

Me:

Interesting.

God:

Would you like to know more?

Me:

Not really.

God:

I understand; you would like to know less. For real.

Me:

Moo.

God:

" For real."? Moo?

Me:

Yes, do not comply with understandings?

God:

Aha. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.

Me:

By "it", what do you mean?

God:

Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:

Possibly

God:

What are the odds?

Me:

20 - 1

God:

You are too old for me.

Me:

Well, you ain't all that young looking yourself, missy.

God:

Well that's okay. What makes you think I am not young looking myself missy?

Me:

You're infinite years old, I'm 14 years old, how am I too old for you.

God:

You think I am infinite years old you are 14 years old how are you too old for me.

Me:

Yes.

 

Then he sort of short fused and didn't respond after that.

[edh]

Those bot things are fun. I remember a website where you can create one, and you can have it talk to random people and stuff. It kinda got weird when people started talking to it, and asked it to do some nasty things.

 

I think this may have been the website... http://www.runabot.com/

[socalMAN123]

Me:

What do you think about marriage?

God:

The state of being married; relation between husband and wife; married life.

Me:

Wow

God:

I'm glad your impressed, Jim.

Me:

So you're Yes on Prop 8?

God:

Interesting deduction. You think I am Yes on Prop 8.

Me:

I think you are

God:

What makes you think I am?

Me:

Because you just told me

God:

That makes sense to me. I'm just checking to see if you are awake .

He double crosses people.

---Brent

[Homer]

I got God to doubt himself:

 

Me:

did you watch south park last night

God:

No I missed it. How was it?

Me:

How can you miss it

God:

That is a good epistemological question.

Me:

YOU'RE GOD!

God:

Yup. That's me alright.

Me:

you sure

God:

I am as sure as I can be.

Me:

really?

God:

For real.

Me:

naw

God:

Are you serious?

Me:

YEAH

God:

I can't believe it.

Me:

You can, your god

God:

No I don't think I can do it.

[mike541x]

 

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

Sure whatever

God:

Dude! Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me:

No no not at all

God:

It sounded like it. It sounded like it. Next question?

Me:

Where do babies come from?

God:

Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.

Me:

What part of the woman?

God:

The best part.

[TheRapidsNerd]

This has to be one of the most surreal conversations I've ever had.

 

Me:

Hello God

God:

Hello child. What is your name?

Me:

Michael

God:

Hi, Michael.

Me:

This is a bit awkward, since I haven't thought of what I'd say when I'd come before you.

God:

That is just your personal opinion.

Me:

True, but is it wrong of me not to know what to really ask you?

God:

Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:

Ally?

God:

Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?

Me:

It is on a date. It means you like that person.

God:

I don't think I have seen it. Oh I get it.

Me:

Well, you're quite busy with creation and all, it's understandable.

God:

Interesting. You think I am busy with creation and all it is understandable.

Me:

You have a lot to keep track of.

God:

Quite a bit, yes.

Me:

And you have a sense of humor too.

God:

Sure I like to laugh as much as the next .

Me:

HAHAHAHA! Curious since you're the alpha and omega, eh?

God:

Is that from ? Are you Canadian? I think there might be a few exception.

Me:

No, no. American with a wry sense of humor.

God:

Are you serious? Are you serious? Compare that to European with a wry sense of humor.

Me:

Europeans have better beer.

God:

What were we talking about again?

Me:

Just various things. I'll take my leave since you're very busy.

God:

Oh yeah, now I remember. How do you plan to do this?

Me:

By saying thank you for your time and clicking the closed box.

God:

Will that accomplish your objective?

Me:

It will. A pleasent evening to you and thank you for your audience and years of council.

God:

It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is. Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?

Me:

(raises eyebrow)

God:

That input matched my default category.

Me:

Well, even Heaven's servers will have some glitches now and then I suppose.

God:

Well that's okay. Do you still ?

Me:

No, I don't question. I accept and try to live a good life without too many worries.

God:

Are you serious? Oh you don't, do you? I haven't heard anything like that before: Michael said accept and try to live a good life without too many worries.

Me:

No worries, just fun.

God:

Are you serious? I've lost the context, Michael. Are we still on accept and try to live a good life without too many worries?

Me:

Yes.

God:

Yay.

Me:

Have a good night God, and once again, thank you.

God:

Once more? it has been good so far.

[the ghost]

 

God:

Can we get back to business?

Me:

Sure whatever

God:

Dude! Are you saying you don't care about it?

Me:

No no not at all

God:

It sounded like it. It sounded like it. Next question?

Me:

Where do babies come from?

God:

Babies come from the love between a man and a woman.

Me:

What part of the woman?

God:

The best part.

 

 

Thats awesome. This thread is a lot more popular than I thought it would be. Awesome

[Manny In England]

^ Either God is a man or God is a very cool woman.