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The Bryan and Adam Show Thread


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What an awesome report, I'm so glad it's back! Can't wait for the next installment in two years! I wish Disneyland would bring back their flavored churros (not jelly doughnut type), but I guess I was the only one who liked them.

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  • 2 weeks later...

HEY GUESS WHAT WE HAVE A NEW UPDATE AND IT ONLY TOOK A FEW YEARS THIS TIME

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"Good luck in Macbeth!" -Adam

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"YOU DARE NOT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF AN ACCOMPLISHED THEATRE ACTORE"

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What kind of gross person leaves a mattress on top of their car while they go to a park (or work)? I can't stop thinking about this. They know it rains a lot in Florida, right? Are they attempting to ruin their mattress?

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Oh, right. We go to parks in these.

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I don't get the reference. What does the Bryan and Adam Show have to do with American Idol?

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Adam takes gross pictures. I didn't crop this at all. I'm not kidding.

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As we were entering, we saw some street performers, and THEY SAW US TOO.

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You guys get it? He's the stupid one because his suspenders are on wrong!

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I feel bad making fun of these guys. They all commit 100%, have zero irony in what they do, and are meant to be enjoyed by children. That being said: nice looking straight down the barrel, croc-boy. Why don't you wear something that clashes more on your next visit? I'll fight you. Seriously.

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LOOK AT HIM, DEALING DRUGS ON PROPERTY!

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Listen, I had no idea how creepy it looks to have my arm around Adam like that when we took the photo. I was really trying to do a "normal" pose like "normal" people.

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Look at my fingers curl up on his shoulder. He might as well be my intern I'm holding him so close.

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This is the "holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa" of DHS.

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I don't get it.

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"We just made out."

 

"AND THE KISSIN AND THE SMOOCHIN AND THE HATE OF MY OWN RACE"

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"We just made out."

 

"A hackneyed joke based on a catchphrase from 60 years ago!"

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Here's the traditional acknowledgement of the existence of Sounds Dangerous photo for this update.

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The "Great" Movie Ride...

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...Is sponsored by delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola Classic! Enjoy one today!

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How elegant! It looks just like a terrible Chinese restaurant!

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A. The Island

B. Battlefield Earth

C. Pootie Tang

D. Birth of a Nation

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Fun fact: Adam has a family of squirrels living on his neck.

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Wait why are we doing this?

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I heard James Cagney once used a grapefruit as a sex toy. He never looked at breakfast the same way again.

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So, remember when I was being nice about the street performers?

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Let's just say, these people can shove it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MItMDkc343M

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PyOfsKOmlE

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Oh, right. Screw these guys.

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"Bryan, you shouldn't be so mean to the cast members"

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"They're trying to get by, just like the rest of us"

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"BUT THEY DON'T DO ACTING GOOD AND MAKE ME FEEL NICE"

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"He's right!"

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"Also I don't like the black ones"

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"Oops! Sorry, jew-god!"

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"I'M NOT REALLY DEAD, I JUST LIKE SLEEPING ON DRY ICE"

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"Lesson learned: don't begrudge bad actors at theme parks, don't be racist, and don't sleep on dry ice because that's totally weird"

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Easy way to tell that this isn't New York: Adam isn't actively trying to avoid eye contact with other people.

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Oh sweet release of Coca-Cola Classic, save me from this heck hole.

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You must be wondering, why did Bryan say heck instead of the traditional, usual way of saying it?

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Well, I ask you, why are you asking questions? This is a one-way form of communication! But to answer your question, our agreement with Coca-Cola forbids us from cussing in the captions of pictures depicting Coca-Cola Classic, which is delicious and refreshing.

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"Why don't we go ride Midway Mania? It's my favorite!"

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"What's that? You need to speak into my good ear, my other one keeps falling out"

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WHAT IS THAT

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KILL IT WITH FIRE

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"Hey, what's that?"

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"Oh, you mean this? It's called a topiary"

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"Yeah, that! Let me point at it for a few more minutes and not say anything else because I like it so much"

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I wonder how many companies Disney approached to sponsor rides, and how far down the list Hanes was.

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Hey, you know what band is really really bad?

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"Ha ha! I know all too well, Bryan."

 

"Thanks, guy from The Magic School Bus"

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"Where's the armpit hair, Roth?!"

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This is the part where I peed all over the queue.

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If you ever thought this was clever, you don't belong in this thread. We don't want your business around here.

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See how much I love you guys?

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Oh yeah, I guess Adam loves you too.

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EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE

 

RNRC IN DISNEYLAND

 

SOMEONE PICK UP THE RED PHONE, LANCE FROM SCREAMSCAPE IS ON THE OTHER END

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Then we went on The Scary Door Tower of Terror

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Ugh, why can't this be at a ride I don't actually like? Why do you have to make my job so hard?

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The scariest of all equations are theoretical ones, we all know this.

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You're entering an area in the vicinity adjacent to a location. The kind of location where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples, it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door

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So I don't really remember the plot of the ride exactly so here's what I'm pretty sure happens: these dudes go into an elevator and are about to bone...

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...but, like, the elevator is stuck, so they just start boning right in the elevator...

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...but then the manager opens the door...

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...and he's all, I want some'a that...

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...so they're gettin' into it, but, like, the dudes can't keep it up...

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...and, like, one of the chicks has magic powers and like makes them go away.

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So then you go on and they drop you or whatever

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Take a minute and just soak in everything that's happening in this picture

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So I was loudly explaining the plot of the ride to Adam and they decided they didn't want our business anymore. What gives?

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So we went to where we were welcome... A value resort.

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And being nerds, we gravitated to the arcade immediately.

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And Adam being a weirdo, he gravitated to a Star Wars thing.

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I've heard Adam's cherry needs to be taken out as well.

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"Shut up."

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Fun fact: this is modeled after Adam and I

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See?

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So this is what it looks like when I don't realize a picture is being taken.

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And this is when I make the ladies go wild.

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So the reason we're really here is to eat, and what did we eat, you ask?

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Yeah, Adam actually ordered that...

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THIS is why we're here. The cheesecake here is awesome, it's tie-dye and has red velvet cake instead of the traditional crust.

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INSIDE ME, NOW

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Unfortunately, Adam thought he was supposed to eat the plastic, and I had to take him to the hospital. Then he died. The end.

 

Thanks for reading! We really mean it! RIP Adam.

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TR of the funeral?

 

 

You bet your sweet ass they're better be a TR of that. Cowboy midgets on trikes, hot strippers dressed as yeshiva schoolgirls, an all you can eat kosher buffet line, id pay admission for a funeral of that nature..Mazel Tov indeed...

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  • 1 month later...

Surprise! Trip report!

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We are about to embark on an incredible journey, such as a turtle does, we were told.

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Our first stop: Manta

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's aquarium!

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God tried to hide this mistake in the water. It's not our place to call him out like this.

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"Oh... Hello, jew-god... I was just kidding about all of that"

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"It was Adam, I swear!"

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"It wasn't me!"

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"I was with here with the children..."

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And then jew-god scrambled my brain up into just a terrible mess

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To get my brain back in order, we went to go see the most coherent thing possible: Blue Horizons.

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"HEY BRYAN REMEMBER ME FROM YOUR NIGHTMARES?"

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Oh god is this really happening?

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You look pretty big for a bird!

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Ohhhh! It's not a bird, it's just an actress playing a person with brain damage.

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During my haze after smitten, I briefly understood the message and/or story behind this. Too bad that's gone.

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This is the last bird lady picture and I just realized I could've written some pretty funny bird on a stick stuff. Just imagine that happened. Would've been great, huh?

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We left the show early due to not having seats and being bored, and Adam had me do this, and I'm unintentionally making the international symbol for "I'm Shamu"

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Then we took the boat out for a spin, or a float.

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NOT ANOTHER ONE

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I'm beginning to think I'm getting cursed by jew-god

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Hi Jake

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SO THIRSTY NEED FOUNTAIN

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So then Adam took us to go ride the new Star Tours I think

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It's amazing how empty the queue was! We almost walked on!

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This is called a Wampa. This is also a caption Adam will probably tell me doesn't work because the reference is off.

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This is a Tattooine or whatever.

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Disney always puts in the nicest little touches into their attractions

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Because nothing ever goes wrong in a Disney ride! Lol!

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Seems weird that they would put this in a ride that just opened. Must be some sort of reference. I love it!

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Super stoked! Glasses free 3d!

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The cabins look really different, they went for an "outdated" look, and I love it! Great job, Disney!

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Then we got off the ride (we got Hoth this time) and checked out the cool post-show area. Here you see Adam confusing Star Trek for Star Wars! What an idiot!

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There were some cool animatronics there

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Like Admiral Akbar! By the way, I'm refusing to look up the spelling of any of this nonsense.

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Enjoy your nightmares.

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Oh no, what is it?!

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Must be some sort of mistake.

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They almost put "Wild Arctic" on there, which is actually a SeaWorld attraction! It just says "Wild Artic" on it though.

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Fun fact: This checkers game is actually in a stalemate, which is why there are skeletons still playing!

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It's nice to have fun!

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Oh cool! My Indiana Jones decoder will come in use here!

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Then Adam went in the Ewok Experience

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Aw, he's shy!

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Don't feed the Adam. He'll complain about you not serving chicken nuggets.

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And then he decided he didn't want to be an Ewok after all

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Cool! you can see how your hand prints compare to NBA players' hands!

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Wait a second... Disney doesn't serve Pepsi...

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OH GOD THAT'S RIGHT! WE WERE IN SEAWORLD!

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THIS IS ALL MAKING SO MUCH MORE SENSE TO ME

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Oh god, we ARE at SeaWorld!

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Oh, hi Erik

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We went to see One Ocean after our "incident"

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They have this set up so you entertain yourself before the animals feast on human flesh

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The person that did this one certainly couldn't have been happy with the results, right?

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"Look at how much fun you could be having!"

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Then it was time to Swim to the Face

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Go Merlin! Get to the face!

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The point of Swim to the Face is to start people off easy with the idea of people being fed to animals.

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Merlin won and got to eat a face!

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Then they do the traditional salute to all nations but mostly America

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Finally, the show is starting, and it starts off with a SPLASH! Get it?!

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This is an interesting shot: you can see the subtle human silhouette on screen that they use to entice the animals into jumping, thinking they'll get to eat the human (they won't, yet)

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Erik is totally ok with this. He's so oddventerous.

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Seconds later, this whale reached over and chomped down on her

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You can see the blood on its mouth. I can't believe this is happening this day and age.

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"I am prepared for this. I have no regrets"

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"May jew-god bless you"

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This is the symbol for "don't eat me"

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Which, of course, we raised proudly

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YOU'RE ALL MONSTERS

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"You're next."

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I was mortified by all of this. But I do love this hip angle!

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EXTREEEEEEME

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"Hey Erik, you want to make an ironically detached pose for this picture? You do? Great"

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"One more, just make this one look like you're visibly frustrated with us. You're doing great"

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After the park, Adam and I hit up a food truck festival thing.

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Left is Winter Park Fish Co, right is the Crooked Spoon

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Left, Yum Yum Cupcake Truck, right is Korean BBQ Taco Box

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Drinks and dessert menu for Big Wheel Provisions. They change their menu for each god damn meal somehow.

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I got a blueberry soda, which was a lot better than it sounds

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Adam and I split sriracha deviled eggs. He got a key lime soda (homemade). It was bad.

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Him and Grant (oh, by the way, Grant was there) split bacon and brown sugar fries. They said they were pretty much regular fries.

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Treehouse Truck's menu. This place is awesome but it's one of those places that seem to be trying to prove a point by how unhealthy they are.

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Example: the Luther burger: 2 Krispy Kreme doughnuts with a bacon cheeseburger in the middle.

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Grant ate most of this, somehow. I could never look him in the eyes again.

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Winter Park Fish Co menu

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She's actually standing on the ground and the guy is right next to her. They built a hole in the truck for her.

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I got seared tuna on a stick with a sweet chili glaze. SO GOD DAMN GOOD

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Also, there was a band there. We were too busy eating like pigs to pay attention to their name or songs.

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Oh, and here's Adam devouring tuna on a stick

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Grant got a corn muffin topped with pulled pork from the Red Eye BBQ truck. It's like he was trying to win a "most disgusting food" contest.

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Adam got a mango Jarritos and a whoopie pie (homemade?) from Big Wheel Provisions for dessert.

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Melissa's Chicken and Waffles menu. I went with the blueberry cheesecake waffle, of course.

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I liked it a lot. Oh, and that's the back of Grant's head over there.

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Thanks so much for reading, everybody. I know this was a tough one. If you're the one person on TPR that hasn't read Erik and Smisty's thread, do yourself a favor, they're much better than us. http://tinyurl.com/erikandsmisty

 

Now I'll go sink into a food coma

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I really enjoyed the photos I was in.

 

But shame on you, Bryan, for all those tasteless killer whale/human flesh jokes. As you well know, being eaten by Shamu is still statistically safer than visiting LAX or riding Rip Ride Rockit.

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