cfc Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 So, do you have any "uncooperative" vegetables in your refrigerator? The kind that taste like, well, crap, until they're cooked into something? Like, say, soup. Well, I decided to take matters into my own hands by teaching some stubborn veggies a lesson--by cooking them into vegetable barley soup! Yes, I am now their master! All photosynthetic organisms fear my wrath! Your time of judgment has come! Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! And they're so tasty now, too. On to the Chamber of the Inquisition, er, I mean, the kitchen! Add a nice warm hunk of cornbread and a glass of Sierra Nevada Stout, and dinner is served! Thanks for reading. If so, discard the bay leaf. Take the leaf, ever so gently, between your right thumb and index finger. Check carefully. Is it between the thumb and index finger? And now, the most delicate part of the whole procedure. Our bay leaf has served his purpose, and now must be carefully retrieved from the boiling broth. Sniff! Yes, you are definitely smelling more "agreeable," now. Aw, are you too cold now? Perhaps bringing you to a boil and letting you simmer for a half-hour will make you more "comfortable." . . . and the barley, which you remembered to cook earlier--right? Oops! Don't forget the bay leaf . . . Oh, is it too hot for you? Have some water! Hell, have two-and-one-fourth cups of water! Ten minutes or so in bubbling hot margarine will teach you veggies about obedience. Yes, Food Club products! Remember--"food" is our first name. My collaborators, the seasonings, are all too willing to take a hand. This TR is brought to you by the entire line of quality Food Club products! Yes, if the word "club" is in the name, it has to be bargain! Die, you bloodless blob! I make no promises when it comes to fungi, though! Heh, heh, heh! I promise that there will be no more scenes of vegetable abuse in this TR. Done. Time to circumcise the carrot. I have no need of your skin, carrot scum! Those of you with castration anxiety might want to look away. Senor Onion, feel the sweet kiss of Senorita Blade! Ole! For example, Monsieur Cabbage will feel the tender embrace of Madame Cuisnart! I need but a cup of your shredded flesh! So, you stubborn spawn of agri-business refuse to coorperate, do you? Well, we have ways of making you more "agreeable."
ebl Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Looks like a delicious soup, Chuck. Only I'd leave out the mushrooms due to the fact that I despise them. They may be fungi, but they're not "fun guys." Eric
Cameron Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Very nice, Chuck .. made my mouth water (and I just got home from dinner after stuffing myself with Thai food! ). Cameron.
ParkTrips Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I hate when people know what they are doing in the kitchen. Good job Chuck, but I wouldn't eat it, not enough meat to be Joe-approved
RCFreak Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Bah not the type of TR you want to read while hungry! Looks good, thanks for sharing.
Meteornotes Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Good report, but need more random fire. dt
Ed Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Damn you i'm hungry! Might go make some soup... Carrot & Celery / Roasted Parsnip.. hmm.
Carnage Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Sure looks better then the normal can of tomato soup that I boiled for dinner.
emily>piers Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Chuck, your soup looks beautiful and is making me feel hungry!
Nrthwnd Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Mmmm yummy. Like to see what you do to make a chili there, Chuck.
mcjaco Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I saw barley in the the title and thought this was about beer.
niiicolaaah Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 ^There's beer in the last picture, so you were partially right! I love making soup, it's so much easier than I thought it would be!! Your soup looks delicious, well done! (and LOL at the vegetable torture)
SteveC Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 a soup of broth like proportions - looks VERY good. But hey, what is the short shrift given to the barley? - Is it Pearl Barley - is it Hulled? - is it pre-soaked to lose all the toxins that may kill you if you don't pre-soak like many other dried pulses or does barley not contain such toxins? I think you should add more pictures to include the barley preparation. A good excuse to open another beer at the very least
Guy T. Koepp Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 Awesome CR. (Cooking Report) I realy want some soup now. I think I'll go whip up a batch of Ramen noodles. Guy "I should do a CR about one of my infamous Mac N' Cheese casseroles." Koepp
cfc Posted January 12, 2009 Author Posted January 12, 2009 a soup of broth like proportions - looks VERY good. But hey, what is the short shrift given to the barley? - Is it Pearl Barley - is it Hulled? - is it pre-soaked to lose all the toxins that may kill you if you don't pre-soak like many other dried pulses or does barley not contain such toxins? I think you should add more pictures to include the barley preparation. A good excuse to open another beer at the very least It is "medium-sized" pearl barley (Richfood brand), which needs to be boiled for about 45 minutes (1 cup of barley in 2 cups of water, as I recall--which yields about 3 cups of cooked barley). Quaker Oats makes a "quick barley" that you can cook in 10 minutes (but my market doesn't sell it). And, yes, I rinsed the barley ahead of time to remove toxins, dead bugs, and any remaining rat feces that exceed federal limits. (Not sure what the minimum daily requirement is for rat feces.) And, yep--the soup is pretty durn good, if I do say so myself.
BeemerBoy Posted January 12, 2009 Posted January 12, 2009 I'm not a big vegetable soup fan, but your random reports are always entertaining, Chuck!
Nrthwnd Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 And, yes, I rinsed the barley ahead of time to remove toxins, dead bugs, and any remaining rat feces that exceed federal limits. So much flavor, down the drain...
Goliath513 Posted January 13, 2009 Posted January 13, 2009 Just add some gravy, and this thread will make it to the front page of the ACE website. Great looking soup Chuck!
disneyfan1313 Posted January 14, 2009 Posted January 14, 2009 Great report, but I would like to see the alternate ending where your food taster dies of food poisoning...
Hercules Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Minus the beef stock, that looks like something that I would really enjoy! Good stuff Chuck.
nursemelis374 Posted January 15, 2009 Posted January 15, 2009 Fun report! This reminded me of Cooking Mama with all the chopping and adding of things to the soup.
slither37 Posted January 16, 2009 Posted January 16, 2009 I am not a vegetable eater, I believe that most cause incurable cancer, especially brussel sprouts. But it was an entertaining read. Hmmm, I think the soup needs bacon, what food does bacon NOT improve? So if it were me, leave out the vegetables and throw in the bacon...Mmmmm. bacon soup.....
cfc Posted January 16, 2009 Author Posted January 16, 2009 ^Guess I'll have to make bacon corn chowder next time.
TheRapidsNerd Posted January 17, 2009 Posted January 17, 2009 Somewhere Igor, The Mixer, looked on in approval. Yep, this was another fun one and I enjoyed it. Thanks for putting it up.
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now