ash.1111 Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 What's the worst thing about shitting your pants on the train...? ... forgetting to wear pants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Why do women get married in white? To match the kitchen appliances! My German teacher used to tell us lots of these lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KPWoCkAxX Posted September 25, 2008 Share Posted September 25, 2008 Not really a joke but what the heck! Margaret Thatcher is going to be buried at the bottom of a man made lake, At least she will have been when we're doing urinating on her grave. I would use the bad words in that but I would get banned.... AGAIN! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disney Dood Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano? Huh? Neither has he! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manny In England Posted September 26, 2008 Share Posted September 26, 2008 Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, And so am I Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pkd freak Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 John, a biker, walked into a sports bar around 10: PM. He sat down next to this blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV. The news was just coming on.. The crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump. The blonde looked at John and said, "Do you think he'll jump?" John says, "You know, I bet he'll jump." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." John placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, "You're on!" Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $20 to John, saying, "Fair's fair. Here's your money." John laughed, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and so I knew he would jump." The blonde replies, "I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again"....... John took the money.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeemerBoy Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerd.muller Posted April 10, 2009 Share Posted April 10, 2009 Q: Why do women rub their eyes in the morning? A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dandaman Posted April 11, 2009 Share Posted April 11, 2009 I laughed out loud at those last two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted April 14, 2009 Share Posted April 14, 2009 newscast:ten brazillian soldiers died in an avalanche blonde:(breaks down crying) man:why are you crying? blonde:how much is ten brazillian Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerd.muller Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking, older retired golfer in his late sixties and the other is a gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties.. The circus owner tells them, “I’m not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you’re history. Here’s your equipment — chair, whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?” The girl says, “I’ll go first.” She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion’s cage. The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. About halfway there, she throws open her coat revealing her beautiful naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss her entire body for several minutes and then rests his head at her feet. The circus owner’s jaw is on the floor. He says, “I’ve never seen a display like that in my life.” He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, “Can you top that?” The tough old golfer replies, “No problem, just get that lion out of there Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted April 15, 2009 Share Posted April 15, 2009 Can you give us a picture of the blonde? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gerd.muller Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 Can you give us a picture of the blonde? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted April 17, 2009 Share Posted April 17, 2009 NICE! I like it! (am still laughing) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollerboy Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 ¡ʎɐqǝ ɟɟo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐl ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted April 20, 2009 Share Posted April 20, 2009 ^how'd you do that!!!! so cool!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollerboy Posted April 21, 2009 Share Posted April 21, 2009 Haha. You just click here. The rest is pretty simple. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Joke=What do you call a 3 headed anorexic monkey having a seizure? Answer=A 3 headed anorexic monkey having a seizure! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onewheeled999 Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Joke=What do you call a 3 headed anorexic monkey having a seizure? Answer=A 3 headed anorexic monkey having a seizure! It's so funny I forgot to laugh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rollerboy Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 Microsoft recently announced that they're releasing Windows 7 in Europe without an Internet browser and users will have to download and install one for themselves. Anyone else see a key flaw with this? And... I once had an atom that lost an electron. The police charged me for it. How ionic. I have loads. But I don't know how American humor works. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PoisonedPirate Posted June 13, 2009 Share Posted June 13, 2009 A salty old seadog I'm told Drank beer as the weather got cold As he lifted the cup NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP! And you just got limer-rick-rolled Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
STR8FXXXINEDGE Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 Q: Why do Mermaids wear Seashells? A: Because B-Shells are too small, and D-Shells are too big! Zzzzzzzing! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KnottsDisneyFarm Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 ^My dad told me that one...that's his kind of humor. Chuck Norris got bit by a snake...two days later, the snake died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheStig Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 You know what's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Being raped. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paintballer Posted June 14, 2009 Share Posted June 14, 2009 ^ You Sir, Win 1 free internet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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