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Posted

Today I was thinking about all the things my mom always told me when I was smaller that never came true.

 

My favorite was that if I didn't stop looking in the mirror, my reflection would never change. Haha!

 

What crazy things did your parents tell you in order to keep you in line?

Forget Santa and the Easter Bunny, let's hear some originals.

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Posted

Happiness comes from magical rays of sunshine that come down on you when your feeling blue.

 

Alligators are angry because they have all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Posted
Happiness comes from magical rays of sunshine that come down on you when your feeling blue.

 

Alligators are angry because they have all them teeth and no toothbrush.

Hahahahaha!

Damn I wanted to say the WaterBoy.

 

I sucked my thumb when I was little and my mom said if I didn't stop it will get stuck in my mouth.

 

Oh and momma says that foosball is for the devil!

Posted

^ Yeah, my grandmother and my mom told me something similar.

I was a weird child (well, am a weird child, hahaha) and thought it was fun to make weird faces in public. They told me that whenever the wind blew, if it blew hard enough my face would get stuck like that.

 

And that's why I don't make weird faces in public anymore. Often.

Posted

Lets see...

 

Dogs peed on Sour Grass (Those yellow flowery weeds you could chew on) which gave it that tangy sour taste

 

Never eat bananas at night...they just dont digest well while laying down

 

And lastly, if we flipped our eyelids inside out, pulled the eyelids down and looked up so that only the whites of our eyes were visible, or made some odd face involving stretching parts of it, that our face would be stuck in that positon

Posted
My mom always said, SHUT THE HELL UP!

Lol, that's awesome.

 

My mom said teeth turned yellow because plaque peed on them.

She also told me that my teeth would get stuck in chewy candy if I ate it.

She said popcorn would get stuck in the places needed to remove my braces.(so happy to be brace free)

Posted

I was always told that too much cheese gives you nightmares.

I practically live on the stuff and I'm fine... Just brings on Migraines often =(

 

I was also told that if I didn't put my shoes on the right feet they would stay stuck on forever.

Posted

I was told not to eat bananas before bed cause it would give me nightmares.

 

Also, not to go outside with my hair wet or I would get sick.

Posted

^

The last one is actually true I believe.

 

I'm sure many people had the "If you eat fruits seeds, the fruit will grow in your stomach" one before.

 

--James

Posted

"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"

... Or maybe that was what the doctor said.

 

- This is gonna hurt you way more than it hurts me. (when I got into trouble)

- Don't eat too much junk food because its bad for you.

- Cracking your knuckles gives you arthritis in the future. (I read in a medical magazine today that it doesn't really do anything helpful or harmful to your hands)

- Stop collecting brochures!!! Its a waste of money for the people who print the things. And when we get home, you better hand them over.

- You play too many video games.

- You might get a stomachache if you eat Mexican.

 

... and today, "If you watch shows like Judge Joe Brown, it'll help you become a lawyer."

 

I love my mom...

Posted
... and today, "If you watch shows like Judge Joe Brown, it'll help you become a lawyer."

 

The only thing those shows will do for you is kill brain cells - which is the opposite of helping you become a lawyer.

Posted

^ Classic...

 

Today my mom wanted to purchase coffee so I asked her whether she wanted caffene or not. She proceeded to ask me what caffene was.

 

:facepalm:

 

And to think... after all these years of warning me about how soda and coffee prevent me from sleeping she still has no idea about caffene.

 

Also

- We're going to (insert state name here that's not Virginia) to buy lottery tickets. (I swear she's addicted).

- Anything made in (insert Asian country except Japan) possibly has (insert bad chemical here). We are an Asian family so I think this is funny.

- You eat way too much. You're getting fatter. (I'm actually fairly thin).

- Don't talk to strangers, chat with people online, take candy/money from strangers, etc.

- Obama is a terrorist/Muslim/Communist.

- You should listen to Rush Limbaugh and watch Fox News. Other news sources aren't as "reliable" because they support Liberals.

 

- I still love my mom.

Posted

I wish I was kidding for all of these.

 

-Don't go downtown without a parent, you'll get attacked by a hobo.

 

-Your best friend is a druggie.

 

-When you go on a forum/facebook/online at all, the whole world can see you're name, age, and location.

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