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Coasters after childbirth


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After my divorce years ago, I turned to online sites to find dates. I made no secret of my enjoyment of coasters, or the other things that entertain me (non-radio music and going to shows). I didn't have much trouble finding dates. None were turned off by the coaster/park thing, and the few that I went out with more than a few times made it to at least one park with me. The two serious relationships I had were both with women that thought parks were "ok" and hadn't been to one in years. Both ended up going on trips with me, and I eventually married one of them. I don't think I'd go so far to say Mary is an "enthusiast", but she does enjoy parks and enjoys going on trips. Hell, most of her credits are non-US ones.

 

I think the main thing is that I didn't make a huge deal out of it at the beginning, and I don't act like an ACEr. Coasters are not my whole life, I have a lot of different interests, and can usually find something in common with someone so we could spend time together and find out if things were worth pursuing. I see similar complaints from guys on music boards I read ("I can't find a woman that will go to metal shows with me"), and I think a lot of time it's the same thing, they come on too strong with their particular obsession, and scare potential dates off. Often it's all in the presentation.

 

I've often said that online dating is not that much different from using online sites to find a job. You're going to have to put a fair amount of effort in, especially if you're trying to date women under 30, as most of them only put up ads as a joke, or just in case Brad Pitt suddenly decides he's tired of banging A-list Hollywood starlets and suddenly wants a "normal" chick from New Jersey or whatever (in other words, they are deluded). Maybe my success came from the fact that I was willing to date women around my age (40), as a lot of guys around that age suddenly decide they really need a 20 year old. In any case, I tell you to stick with it, perhaps look outside of your ideal "type", and don't be afraid to go on a lot of first dates. Unless it ends in some sort of inprisonment, it has to be better then staying at home and watching TV.

 

As far as the whole "women are afraid of coasters" thing, I do think that some segments of our society might be conditioned to not ride as they're not supposed to do "dangerous" things. I think that might only be true for older generations, though, as I think the barriers as what is "acceptable" behavior for guys and girls continues to blur. I really don't think childbirth has anything to do with it, but I suppose some might use it as an excuse.

 

All of this is just my dumb opinion, of course...

 

dt

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As far as the whole "women are afraid of coasters" thing, I do think that some segments of our society might be conditioned to not ride as they're not supposed to do "dangerous" things. I think that might only be true for older generations, though, as I think the barriers as what is "acceptable" behavior for guys and girls continues to blur. I really don't think childbirth has anything to do with it, but I suppose some might use it as an excuse.

 

All of this is just my dumb opinion, of course...

 

dt

 

Not at all dumb, I actually think if we merge Elissa's, Wes's, my and your posts together it kinda makes a coherent theory. Parents (and other family members) perhaps have an influence upon their children's attitudes to trying new things, and maybe do in a way encourage previous social stereotypes by encouragin boys to be more daring than girls. Society further reinforces this as they grow up by showing them that girls are meant to be afraid of stuff. Many younger women aren't as affected by this because the lines are all blurred now and gender isn't as important, but in older women it's perhaps more of an issue in a lot of cases, and this might be exacerbated in the case of women who are parents, as if they have less interest, they're less likely to figure out/less likely to bother trying the different ways of being able to do stuff WITH the kids, instead of using it as an excuse to just not bother riding.

 

That got a little convoluted. I'm sure you get what I'm saying.

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I think the main thing is that I didn't make a huge deal out of it at the beginning, and I don't act like an ACEr. Coasters are not my whole life, I have a lot of different interests, and can usually find something in common with someone so we could spend time together and find out if things were worth pursuing.dt

 

Couldn't agree more, in the profile I have up there is one mention of coasters and amusement parks and of course my catchy tag/subject line "Let's Coast Together" (yes, you appropriately can barf and snicker ). I list a ton of other interests like washing clothes in my parent's basment, collecting GI Joe dolls and of course my amazing Jar Jar Binks wall mural. But seriously, I have tons of other interests and coasters is one of them and I could care less if that makes me a total dork. Among many other things I'm looking for in a partner is someone to hit the road and visit amusement/theme parks so I'm just telling it like it is.

 

But back to the subject - how many female coaster enthusiasts do you know with kids versus those with no kids? This is a phenomena I tells ya, if not a major medical issue that modern science should be working on a vaccine for. More times than I can I count I've been told by women they used to be able to ride, until they had kids.

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I have always enjoyed parks and my parents enjoy parks. My parents are in no way enthusiasts, but they do like going and have went on several trips with me and both are over 100 credits.

 

I always brought up the coaster thing and if they liked them. I wouldn't date someone who didn't like them as it would have been a big hole in our relationship. I didn't however need someone who is obsessed with them. I just always wanted to make sure I would have someone to go with. Melanie enjoys them as much as me although I am the bigger geek about planning trips. My first wife also like them but she turned out to be a cheater. So finding a coaster fan gives you a 50/50 chance of martial success.

 

As far as girls being scared of them I see no difference in that approach as I do boys in the 5/6 th grade age group. i actually have more fun on my field trips with my girls because it is funny to see the quiet girl ride something that the "bully" boy won't.

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Hmm, as a woman who didn't really start riding roller coasters until my son was about 4 years old, I find this thread amusing...

 

I think a large part of the issue is that a lot of parents change their financial priorities once the kiddos come along. Money that was once spent on vacations and other non-essentials (new fads, entertainment, etc.) is funneled into more long term family oriented commitments, like college funds, a mortgage, and the ubiquitous mini-van. Amusement parks and fun time in general takes a back seat to school time/events, family visits to grandma's, and the daily grind of home and hearth.

 

And when you're dealing with single parents, the financial and circumstantial burdens of being the custodial parent are limiting for the vast majority. Trying to find the time and funding to go off for any semblence of fun time without the kiddos can be daunting for even rather well-off single parents, never mind being one who enjoys ever increasingly expensive thrill parks...

 

I do agree with most others in this thread that males are more generally oriented to thrill rides and adrenaline laden experiences, so those females who weren't terribly fond of thrill rides before having kids aren't usually going to suddenly find an interest in them after becoming a mother. But for myself, the desire to conquer a life-long fear of coasters at age 30 led to me becoming an avid coaster fan! Go figure....

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I see plenty of mothers riding with their kids at parks. The only coasters I truly see mothers terrified of are the huge launch coasters like Kingda Ka and TTD.

 

The two married women that I know best (sister and my best freind's wife) still ride coasters after having kids. My best friend's wife did not ride for a while because she was into girly things. Coincidently my best friend, he is afraid of coasters.

 

My mother never rode coasters but that's because she is terrified of heights. We always had to stay on the first floor of a motel. No hi-rise hotels for her.

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^^^Well I guess I can be a good candidate for your study!

 

You're exluded as you're already clearly hopelessly cool. I remember when I was first getting into the hobby and seeing the Discovery Channel special and there you were showing off all your season passes - that's easily one one in a million!

 

But if you find yourself feeling barfy when you can ride again, do tell!

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I think a large part of the issue is that a lot of parents change their financial priorities once the kiddos come along. Money that was once spent on vacations and other non-essentials (new fads, entertainment, etc.) is funneled into more long term family oriented commitments, like college funds, a mortgage, and the ubiquitous mini-van. Amusement parks and fun time in general takes a back seat to school time/events, family visits to grandma's, and the daily grind of home and hearth.

 

I disagree with this in the sense that, if you love amusement parks, rides, coasters, whatever, you are anxious to share that with the kids that come into your life whether you are Dad or Mom. For myself, personally, my earliest memories of "summer fun" with my parents and older brother and sister are from Old Coney Island, Fantasy Farm, LeSourdesville Lake and Kings Island. Some of my best memories over the years revolved around these parks as well as other parks I visited. As recently as last summer, I took my mom to Holiday World along with my 8 year old. Even though my mom was in failing health, she still rode the Sally dark ride where you shoot the turkeys and the river raft ride. She was 80 at the time.

 

Specifically speaking of coasters, I have met an equal number of guys who dislike rides/coasters. My daughter just rolls her eyes at her male cousins of about her age, as they are all terrified. Here she is riding Vortex-ALONE with her best girl friend, also only 8-while her cousin is in Nick Universe on the Dora trains. Seriously!!

 

Finally, I will say this... as I hit the big 4-0 this year, I simply cannot tolerate ride after ride after ride like I used to. I don't think it's a woman thing, just an age thing. It sucks, but I just pace myself.

 

Shari "Growing older, but not up" Shoufler

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Interesting topic-Gotta get my 2 cents in...

I am 37 yrs old, have never given birth, and never plan to. I really don't think that the act of childbirth and/or the changes your body undergoes has any relation to enjoying roller coasters or other thrills.

As someone pointed out, I think it would be more of the age factor. When men and women get older, they start to get things like arthritis and stuff that make coasters (plus walking around theme parks) less fun. Also, when you get older, you have more finiancial responsibilities, like mortgages, car pymts, etc, that cut into amusement park trips. (Has anyone noticed that both gas and getting into amusement parks keep getting more expensive?)

To someone else's point, I do believe that men are (unfortunately) socialized to be more "adrenaline junkies" than women, although I would blame society and not biology. I consider myself an adrenaline junkie. I have been a volunteer firefighter for 10 yrs, and have experienced that adrenaline rush when riding a fire engine or going into a burning bldg that is similar to the one felt on coasters. Although the danger is real, which makes an even more intense rush.

I no longer do active firefighting because I have fibromyalgia, which, not to bore everyone, is a condition similar to arthritis that makes you--- hurt. As in ache after doing simple things, like walking around a theme park and standing in long lines (more so that stuff than the coasters). This has affected my enjoyment of coaster trips, but will not make me give up this hobby that I love. Again, an age thing--- I think when you get older, you get more irritated with waiting in lines.. or maybe I'm just a grumpy old woman.

Regarding the dating thing: I too have tried many online dating things, and usually mention that I like amusement parks/roller coasters. I have never gotten a comment one way or the other on this, either "boy, that's weird" or "hey baby, wanna go to Cedar Point?"- the latter, of course, I would likely fall for. I can't imagine being turned off by anybody's hobbies/interests unless it's like necrophilia or something. BTW, I do like to shop too- but I usually don't broadcast that because it's embarassing.

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my theory is that some chicks, of an older age or what not, do not like to run from coaster to coaster and ride to ride at a park. If your with someone whos not into coasters as much as you , try makin a smoother day of it for them by not goin ride crazy, im sure theyll enjoy it more if its not all about rides...you dig?

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First, I hope I am never one of those women who suddenly decides that she's too old to do stuff that she's always enjoyed. I've seen far too many women say "Oh I used to love what when I was younger, but I'm too old now." Goes for anything...swimming, swinging on swings in a playground, whatever, not just coasters.

 

I tend to see the issue more as one where people think that coasters are something you do when you're young, then you just stop doing it when you're older. Like there doesn't have to be a reason...you just don't do it because you're not a kid any more. And there probably is a difference between enthusiast women and GP women in that regard. As an enthusiasts, I know that its something I like regardless of how old I am, and that there are plenty of people well into their 50s and beyond still enjoying coasters as a hobby. So to me this particular interest isn't one that I see as "only for kids." And I plan on riding until I physically can't take it any more.

 

And as for the online dating thing...it's so funny that I have had the exact same reaction as the guys here! I put in my profile that I love parks and coasters, yet I have never met even one guy who will agree to ride coasters with me! They basically say what was said earlier in the thread...they like everything in the profile except the part about coasters! I don't get it! I guess I am the only coaster chick in the world with that problem! Being outnumbered so badly in the coaster community, you'd think I'd have my pick of the guys, but noooo.....

 

-Julie

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Females don't continue being any sort of enthusiast past a certain age. In any fandom.

 

It's got nout to do with Coasters and more to do with they just seem grow out of obsessions. Who knows why. With the odd exception.

 

my theory is that some chicks, of an older age or what not, do not like to run from coaster to coaster and ride to ride at a park. If your with someone whos not into coasters as much as you , try makin a smoother day of it for them by not goin ride crazy, im sure theyll enjoy it more if its not all about rides...you dig?

While it's not totally the same, i have a female friend a little younger than me who is scared of riding. And this is how i got her into coasters. She spends more time watching and observing and enjoying all that the park has to offer. She's done Vampire at Chessington, and in March we shall try for Air.

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And I plan on riding until I physically can't take it any more.

 

Same here!! And my parents did just that. They took me to PCW every year starting when I was 3 years old. They took me to Crystal Beach, they took me to Darien Lake, they took me to Cedar Point, because THEY wanted to go, and whether or not I wanted to ride anything was my choice. (Of course, I wanted to ride). They pretty much kept riding until my dad started having health problems a few years ago.

 

I love coasters, my boyfriend loves coasters. I want kids some day, and I'm planning on dragging them to parks.

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I think that some woman just like to make excuses as to why they can’t do it anymore. Some will say that they don’t have the time, the money of some other lame excuse not to go. Once you have a baby it doesn’t mean that you cant do the things that you loved, you should share it with your kids not just forget about it. Personally I know that once I have kids I am still going to be riding coasters. The way I see it, it is kind of a situation that I have now. I injured my knee and I had surgery and I got back into right into the next season. Its kind of the same way I feel about coasters after pregnancy, my wounds will heal and my life will move on and the coasters will be back into my life again.

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We haven't had any issues with our kids and parks.

 

They have been going to parks since their 1st bdays (each) and haven't looked back since. Granted we didn't travel much when they were baby's but it wasn't because we didn't want to, it was because we was po'.

 

But now they know how to act at parks, love parks, etc, etc, etc.

 

Also, I don't think I'd consider us "Coaster" enthusiasts, were more "Park" enthusiasts. If we don't get a "Credit" or something at a particular park, not a big deal for us.

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I kind of agree with most of the things said in this topic.

Every 2nd year i go on a big family holiday. But this year all my aunties think we should go somewhere else that doesnt contain coasters as me and my cousins are too BIG for them!!! My cousins and I kicked up a really big fuss about this and said that your never too big. My auntie then said theme parks are for kids and that no one above our age goes!!!

I then got pretty angry and told her about this website and the age groups of people involved. She then said that these people are sad and that i need to grow up and get a life! She even spoke too my dad about how its not right to like coasters soo much past a certain age!!!

I'm only 17 and i'm going to ride coasters as long as i like!

I still cant believe it!

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I just had to respond to this thread being a 37 yr old coaster-loving mom! Growing up, my family did not go to amusement parks BUT they did get me a season pass to SFGAdv since all my friends had them. They used to drop my friends & I off at the park alone (when we were only 9! ~ how things have changed). I would ride all day & had a great time. I truly believe that's where my love of parks originated.

 

Hubbie & I actually go to amusement parks more now than we did pre-kid. Our kids love them! Our riding style has changed ... we ride a ton more flats (and have a great time doing so!), have the kid switch-off down to a science, and have a MUCH lower tolerance for long lines. Credits are less important than having fun as a family. Oh, I should mention that my hubbie blames me for my kids' coaster obsession ... #1 rode Space Mountain, etc. at WDW when I was about 3 months PG (oops); #2 rode Wild Thing, etc (Valleyfair) at about 2 months PG (double-oops). #3 wasn't tainted

 

Why are there fewer 30/40 yr female enthusiasts? Nothing to do with post-baby body or aches & pains, in my opinion. Fewer younger enthusiasts naturally mean even fewer older enthusiasts. Plus, most post-baby women I've met at parks are the baby-sitters rather than the thrill-seekers. I'm lucky that my husband will happily hang out with the kids & baby while I'm off getting credits. It is very rare that I meet another mom in line while I meet a ton of dads.

 

I wish more women would want to ride coasters. I think it would be so much fun to have a female-only coaster club w/girls-only trips!

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I think the main thing is that I didn't make a huge deal out of it at the beginning, and I don't act like an ACEr. Coasters are not my whole life, I have a lot of different interests, and can usually find something in common with someone so we could spend time together and find out if things were worth pursuing. I see similar complaints from guys on music boards I read ("I can't find a woman that will go to metal shows with me"), and I think a lot of time it's the same thing, they come on too strong with their particular obsession, and scare potential dates off. Often it's all in the presentation.

As far as the search for a mate goes, I couldn't agree more with this post. Whether it's online, or meeting face to face over dinner, your presentation is what's most important. Too many times, people are turned off by selfishness. If all you're out to do is find someone who's willing to go to the parks with you, go to concerts with you, etc, etc, then you're obviously not gonna put your partner first in the relationship (which is key to most happy relationships). Women pick up on these things, guys. Don't push your obsessive love of coasters out to the forefront. I always think it's easier to explain your love of something as a hobby, rather than a "true love" or "obsession." People relate better to others having hobbies, because we all have our own.

 

As far as women falling out of love with going to parks and riding coasters, I think it's a combination of what a lot of folks have already said in the thread. Amusement parks are always going to be considered a "young-at-heart" type of thing. To most grown adults, it's just something you do mostly when you're younger. I'm not sure having children or anything else really plays a significant role in why they stop going to parks.

No need to split hairs here. Enthusiasts are a small percentage of the population. Finding a compatible mate who enjoys them as much as you is a LONG shot. In conclusion, you're either born to love these things, or you're not.

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Just read Dave's post, and I agree 1000%.

 

It's good to have more than one interest. I mean, Parks and Coasters is a big one for us, but we have so many more that we have in common. Even if one of us didn't like Coasters and Parks anymore we have plenty of other things we like to do that it wouldn't be an issue.

 

But if you are trying to get dates with girls and keep wanting to take them to coaster events, etc ... it can be scary.

 

Hell, I've been doing meets and events for 6 or 7 years and I still get a bit overwhelmed by the amount of testosterone and geekiness involved.

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