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Posted

Peter on Wheele of Furtune

 

Ok we need 5 constenants and a vowel..

Peter: arrhh ok Z, 4, Q,... another Q, ..arrghh a third Q and a batman symbol good episode

Posted

I haven't put anything for a while so here's a few.

 

"I'd do her, do her, do her. Lose the bows (?) and we'll talk. Do her, do her. Egh who hasn't done her. Do her..."

 

"Oh Mother Teresa (?) you'll never leave us will you?"

(shows them her breasts)

"Yes those are lovely but that still doesn't answer my question."

 

And this one's not a quote, but that one scene where the man and the woman are going to do it, but all of a sudden the woman stops, so the man oils her. "There we go" Then he jumps on her and she breaks into a million pieces.

That scene made me laugh so hard!

Posted

(Peter is reading a book)

Peter:Hey Lois,what does that say?

Lois:Evil

Peter:And that word right there?

Lois:Knievel

Peter:And this one?

Lois:was

Peter:And how about that one?

Lois:born

Peter:I see...and what about the one right there?

Lois:in

Peter:What about this one?

Lois:Montana

Peter:Hmm.....Hey,Lois did you know that Evil Knievel was born in Montana?

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Mayor West: Excuse me, I have a new attack dog and I'm looking for a sign that will warn criminals about it."

Clerk: *pointing to "BEWARE OF DOG" sign* We have the perfect one for you-

Mayor West: *picking up "ONE WAY" sign* Ah yes, one way. It tells them that there is only one way they will get out of my front yard... in a body bag."

Posted

Stewie gets a large piece of glass in his head:

 

"Do I take it out or leave it in? Do I take it out or leave it in?" as he runs in circles

Posted

"Geeze it fills like there are a bunch of typewritters going of in my head in my head"

"Hey have you ever wondered whats outside of those walls"?

"thats dangerous thinking, you better stick to your work"

Posted

Brain while having Acupuncture and noticing 2 boxers next to each other. one box says needles other says poison tipped needles. "Ah dc do you have to keep those boxers next to each other

 

Doctor. "Why? What do they say"

 

Brian "I'm out of here"

Posted

Meg - (To Peter and Lois) Oh my god! I could just kill myself

I'm going upstairs right now and eat a whole bowl of peanuts.......

I'm allergic to peanuts......

You don't know anything about me!.....(runs upstairs)

 

Peter -Who was that guy?

Posted

" Well Mr. Greenberg, I'd like to see you try to seize my assets, after battling the Rancor !!"

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Huh, I didn't realize, Greenberg was a Jedi name."

Posted

Peter: ...I'm afraid I have some very bad news, your wife's gonna be a vegetable, you'll have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her the rest of her life.

 

Man: Oh my God.

 

Peter: haha, I'm just kidding she's dead.

Posted

(Man working in Chuck E. Cheese type place to Peter): We have four flavors to choose from: banana, strawberry, chocolate, or people.

Peter: What was that last one?

Man: Chocolate.

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