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Photo TR: 22 Days in China with TPR


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Thanks for the kind words, everyone. I've been out of town since last Thursday night, so I'm hoping to sort thorugh the next batch of photos tonight and post the next chapter tomorrow.

 

Stay tuned.

Jimmy "Did you pee in that hole on the Great Wall?" Bo

 

I'm pretty sure I'd be languishing in a Chinese "free hotel" if I had.

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I am honored Angus McNasty made an appearance in my thread, so I decided the best way to thank you was to introduce Angus to Maxine.

 

Keep up the great work, as always!

 

Angus says, "Yo, Maxine."

 

Meanwhile, back in the Peoples Republic of China . . .

 

Chapter 3: How Much More "China" Can You Get?--Shijingshan and Sun Park

When I started working for my current employer back in the late 1980s, I had a number of bizarre conversations with a Chinese coworker. He spoke English fairly well, if a bit haltingly, and was, let's say, very direct. For example:

 

"Chuck. I notice you drive Ford Bronco II."

"Yes."

"What year is that Bronco?"

"'85."

"Oh. You know you drive death trap?"

 

One wonders what he would say about Beijing Shijingshan Amusement Park: "You know that park death trap?" Well, I wouldn't go as far to call Shijingshan a "death trap," it is home to the most terrifying ride I've ever experienced--Feng Shen Coaster, which looks like an old Arrow shuttle as designed and built by a family of howler monkeys. Yes, this is the ride in which the train actually "falls" out of the loop and on to its up-stop pads, then screeches through the rest of the course. Call it a combination of the defunct Atomic at Mitsui Greenland and a drop tower, I guess. Trust me: When it comes to bowel-and-bladder-emptying terror, there is nothing like feeling an entire coaster train drop off the track while you're upside down.

 

But what about the rest of the park? It's bisected by a railroad track, and its two halves are connected by a bridge. The old section of the park is "traditional," with random rides and attractions scattered about. The newer section is colorful and more elaborately themed, although I'd be hard pressed to tell you what the theme is. It does have an indoor coaster with dinosaurs, though, and a kids area that looks a Dr. Suess fever dream. The park is pay-per-ride, but you can obtain a card at the entrance and fill it with as much yuan as you need. Good luck getting any spare cash back at the end of the day, though.

 

There is a good-sized collection of coasters here, ranging from OK (a knockoff loop screw) to just plain bad (the shuttle loop). Perhaps we should just take a look at Shijingshan, then move on to the Sun Park.

 

Shall we?

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Welcome to Shijingshan! Jon, your face betrays an air of foreboding.

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"The People need a brick wall built in front of this brick wall! Make it happen!"

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Note that the sign says "we may require you to obey the following instructions." So, the rules are optional unless you're told otherwise?

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OK, which way to Feng Shen Coaster? If we survive that, the rest of the day is gravy.

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I couldn't help but wonder, "Will this be the last picture anyone sees of me?" (Now that would be humiliating.)

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That is one of the funkiest lift hills ever.

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Proof that cats are smarter than humans: He's not going anywhere near Feng Shen Coaster.

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Pessimist: A ride has been removed.

Optimist: A new ride will be installed here.

Realist: Most likely neither.

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First credit of the day--yay!

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Please note that this is no mere "shuttle loop." It's "A Circle Reciprocal Coaster."

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"Good luck, guys! I'll document your ride, just in case we need a video in court to certify that you rode this under your own freewill."

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If you make it this far, you'll survive--but you'll have to deal with those horrifying memories for the rest of your life, possibly while under a psychiatrist's care at an asylum.

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This sign was at the exit of the mine train coaster. It needs to be at the entrance of Feng Shen Coaster.

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After the trauma of "A Circle Reciprocal Coaster," Mine Coaster came as a relief.

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"Hi there, folks! I'm a piece of theming! Enjoy me!"

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This train is not kind to the kneecaps.

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Overall, this ride is OK for what it is.

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Of course, it could us a little touch up with a Weed Whacker.

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"We're just theming. Nothing to see here."

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I guess this is a Chinese interpretation of one tough, Old West-style hombre.

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Oh boy--Epcot! Maybe I can score some pot stickers at the Food and Wine Festival!

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Nothing says "klassy" like a wall topped with broken glass.

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Our objective: knock-off SLC number two of the trip (Shenzhou Coaster).

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Pervy the Fox says, "This way if you're ready to be denied the SLC credit!"

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Yes, this ride had a weight limit of 200 pounds, which excluded the beefier patrons of this trip (such as me).

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"Oh crap! I fit!"

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Hang in there, Hanno!

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This is the "@!!!^#!!!" element.

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While others were enjoying their special time with Shenzhou Coaster, I checked out this dark ride next door.

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"Sorry, pal, but the ride's closed."

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"The gargoyle out front should've told ya."

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Still, it was as scary as anything I saw at HHN in Orlando this year. ;)

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Meanwhile, back at the House of Pain . . .

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"High kicks! High kicks! This is how we do it!"

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Duh . . . der . . . Worm . . . Har har . . . Coaster!

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Neil explained to me that this ride is themed to the amazing giant-sand-worm-riding scene in "Dune," and thus deserves our respect.

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I'm sure that Frank Herbert, the author of the classic sci-fi novel, was every bit as involved with this attraction as JK Rowling was with the Wizarding World of Harry Potter.

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Er, Merry Chinese Christmas?

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Look! A Golden Horse Slowly Revolving Coaster!

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The restraints make Hanno feel funny "down there."

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Strangely enough, these credits ended up being a bit more elusive on this trip than one would expect. More to come from Shijingshan.

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Shijingshan is not quite through with us yet!

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"Aiomic" Coaster?

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This knock off of an old Arrow was probably the best of its kind of the trip. I mean, it's hardly a great (or good) ride, but I did manage to escape without a broken jaw.

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The jungle will eventually claim this ride.

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Oh my god! When did this happen?

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No worries. I'll just reattach the wheel with this handy wrench.

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Let's move on to the somewhat more colorful section of Shijingshan.

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Would you trust this bunny with your children?

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"Freeze, yankee dog! I'm a fox with a ray gun, and I'm not afraid to use it!"

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"I'm (SBNO) Batman!"

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From what I've heard about this ride (Spinning Batman), it's probably for the best that it's closed.

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Hey, some throw pillows, new curtains, and a little dusting, and this baby is ready to roll again!

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At least the station is a good place to park a moped.

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Do bears live here or what?

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"God, these squat toilets are murder on my lower back!"

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This is Jurassic Adventure, one of the better rides at the park (at least it has dinosaurs).

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Note that your back problems could "render the ride unsafe." And does the entire "facility"move?

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I understand there's some kind of drop ride in this building; unfortunately (I think), it was closed.

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OK, what did we tell you people about drinking the tap water?

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Yay for another . . .

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. . . credit? (Someone better call rcdb.com about this.)

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I'm glad I'm not on this ride.

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Anyone for a Schawrzkopf knock off with a peace symbol?

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This is one of the better rides at the park.

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Trippy, indeed.

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Let's check out what ever is behind the giant ape demon's head.

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Down his faux cinder-block gullet we go.

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OK, I think these two want a little privacy. Nope. Don't even want to know what's going on there.

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This is what happens when syphilis goes untreated.

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Welcome to the American Adventure!

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It involves rolling around a dark, humid warehouse with a vague notion that there are things you're supposed to shoot. Yes, this is like life in much of the USA.

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Here's one last look at Shijingshan--a quirky place, indeed. Sun Park is up next.

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This was, indeed, a big day for credits, if not quality. Next up was Sun Park, which had seven, count 'em, seven coasters! Of course, two of them were a knock-off loop screw and a Golden Horse Barely Revolving Mouse--but credits, yay!

 

Sun Park is essentially a random collection of rides run by independent contractors, as near as we could tell. If you did a little searching, you could find some interesting stuff there. Larry found a good haunted walk-through (with live actors that will hit you in the butt with brooms, or something) and a bizarre little dark ride that would give Disney lawyers fits of rage.

 

Here's a look at the rather enjoyable, if odd (this combination happens a lot in China) Sun Park.

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Welcome to Sun Park, . . .

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. . . where "love knows no borders," . . .

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. . . and giant ladybugs enclose smelly toilets.

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How does one "unrecycle" something?

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Well, at least it's not a Dragon Wagon, right?

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Yes, it's an awesome space ship! Totally different from a Dragon Wagon!

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I wonder how many views this video will get when it hits You Tube?

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Elissa engages in high-level negotiations with ride ops. She ran ahead to make sure that coasters were running and tickets were purchased for the group. Thanks for the excellent service, Elissa! (Who else but TPR would go this far?)

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I think they have this same rule at the "Forbo Den City," too.

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Fish like milk? Who knew?

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At least it's not some dirty old dustbin.

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Looks like this coaster has been painted up for Cinco de Mayo.

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"Environmental sanitation" is, of course, important in China.

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The sign of quality.

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Despite the purty paint job, this loop screw was more painful that Shijingshan's.

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I see absolutely no licensing or copyright problems here.

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Here we have a "Jungle" (not "Crazy") Mouse.

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Do you suffer from "the pregnant" or "the drunk"?

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"I'm doing alright, getting good grades."

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"The future's so bright, I gotta wear shades."

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Again, what a relief!

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Golden Horse . . . OK, next!

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Hmm--have we teleported back to Shijingshan?

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Yay! A bona fide Sliding Dragon! You can never get enough of these!

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The government has certified this one, too. (Strange--I don't recall any of the larger coasters having one of these certificates.)

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No bites yet? Maybe you should try some of that fish milk.

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Disney's lawyers haven't caught up with this coaster yet.

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This ride is unsuitable for psychopaths or intellectual-property attorneys.

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"Worm Tackle" sounds like something dirty. ("Don't touch my worm tackle, Mr. TSA Man!")

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David is way too excited to be riding a worm.

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Oh, the lows to which we shall stoop.

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"Yee haw! Ain't a worm can't be rode, ain't a rider can't be throwed!"

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"I say, Cyril--that large fellow is going to be killed!"

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Larry found a dark ride!

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Yay!

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"Larry, do you think there might be a copyright concern with a well-known Disney attraction here?"

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"I see no issue whatsoever."

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Here's the Haunted House where they hit you with a blackjack, or something.

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It is more entertaining than many of the houses at HHN in Orlando this year.

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See? Larry is absolutely horrified!

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Boing!

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Look, it has fire! (Well, fake fire is better than no fire.)

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This is what happens to you if you get a "sexy massage" and fail to use a condom.

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If Angus joined this group, they'd be ruling Beijing in about a week. That's all for now.

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I was so much fun roaming around these parks trying to find dark rides and haunted houses. At Sun Park the dark ride might have sucked but the Haunted House was pretty good. The upcharge costs for these dark rides and haunted houses ranged from roughly $1.50 to $3.00

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Good report!

 

Definition: UNRECYCLING - Remove rubbish from trash can!

 

Glad to see proof of Roller Coaster Made in China.

 

Where else would roller coaster be made! Everything is Made in China

 

Looking forward to the next instalment.

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Everything is Made in China

 

YES - And shortly after they bought a SkyWheel from MaurerSöhne they've completed their own knock-off. The dimensions look a little different - most likely as it's done with the signature Arrow/Vekoma tracksystem - but's thats only my guessing as I can find no pics of it. Maybe the ride is as "good" as the vids I've seen and reports heard of the chinese Shuttle Loop...

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^^It's funny you mention that. We were talking on the trip about what's going to happen when those China companies start making knock offs of bigger rides like a Sky Loop, Intamin looper (both already done), or worse, a B&M Flyer, S&S 4D!?!? I don't think I could bring myself to go on those!

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YES - And shortly after they bought a SkyWheel from MaurerSöhne they've completed their own knock-off. The dimensions look a little different - most likely as it's done with the signature Arrow/Vekoma tracksystem - but's thats only my guessing as I can find no pics of it. Maybe the ride is as "good" as the vids I've seen and reports heard of the chinese Shuttle Loop...

 

By sheer coinicdence I posted pictures of that skyloop yesterday at the factory. Although I didn't know which park it was going to. Now I do, many many thanks.

 

http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=35614&start=1790

 

Be afraid... be very afraid.

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A Chinese knock-off 4D coaster is too terrifying to contemplate.

 

I dunno. Could it be worse than Eejanaika?

 

That is a good point.

 

The new S&S 4D at Dinosaur Park in China was better than its Japanese cousin, though (maybe by virtue of being newer).

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YES - And shortly after they bought a SkyWheel from MaurerSöhne they've completed their own knock-off. The dimensions look a little different - most likely as it's done with the signature Arrow/Vekoma tracksystem - but's thats only my guessing as I can find no pics of it. Maybe the ride is as "good" as the vids I've seen and reports heard of the chinese Shuttle Loop...

 

By sheer coinicdence I posted pictures of that skyloop yesterday at the factory. Although I didn't know which park it was going to. Now I do, many many thanks.

 

http://www.themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=35614&start=1790

 

Be afraid... be very afraid.

That is terrifying!!!

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