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Jahan's Super Sweet October Trip-Trip Report!

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Elissa's Complaints About Animal Kingdom (hoping Reed doesn't see this!)


- Pathways (way too small and narrow), you should see when they try and put the parade on, it's insane. It may be the largest Disney park by far, but in terms of where guests are actually allowed to go it's the smallest by far.


- Food, I can never find good food at that park, and Disney is usually very Elissa Friendly!


- Lack of Quality E Tickets, yeah Everest gave that park the help it desperately needed, but it's still not where it should be.

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While I hear you out on the first two comments, I definately agree with the last one. It would be perfect if DAK got a Journey to the Center Of The Earth type ride, considering the theme has a lot to do with all the subterranean critters... Plus it would give the resort yet another "mountain". One can only hope...

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- Food, I can never find good food at that park, and Disney is usually very Elissa Friendly!


So true. I've never found a good place to eat there. I just ended up getting bananas from the fruit cart.


I'm surprised that you didn't choose Restaurantosaurus, since it's basically a McDonald's.

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^ Restaurantosaurosaramalamdingdong is a McDonald's on par with Burger Invasion at DCA. Not a full featured menu but more than just fries. Here's the menu.


Dino-Size Double Cheeseburger - burger and fries $6.89

Cheeseburger with fries $5.89

Add Bacon $0.79


Hot Dogosaurus - hot dog with fries $5.79


McDonald's 10 Chicken McNuggets with fries $5.49


McDonald's Happy Meal includes four chicken McNuggets, fries with child's size beverage and a premium toy $3.99


Mandarin Chicken Salad - Fresh greens and Mandarin oranges tossed in a Sesame Ginger Vinaigrette Dressing $6.99


Veggie Burger with Fries - $6.29

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I agree also that Animal Kingdom sorely lacks in the food area. If I really have to eat there, there is a good chicken parmesan sandwich at Pizzafari, and a salad with chicken at Tusker House, but that's it! AK could seriously use another three or four big fast food places, as well as a couple of more full service restaurants.

I'm glad to see that I'm not the only one that is still underwhelmed with Animal Kingdom. The first time I went (within a month of it's opening in '98 ) I HATED the park! Now, I don't hate it, but it's still definitely my least favorite of the Disney parks I've visited.

Can't wait for the next installment Jahan! I love how your TRs tell the story of what you did during the day, not just picture, caption, picture, caption.



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Shall we continue then?...


Park IV: Disney-MGM Studios



So…we had left Animal Kingdom, to find a bus full of cool new peeps! It was at that point that we drove over to the next park for the day—Disney-MGM Studios.


Grrr. With the our luck at hand, we were forced to park at the end of a row!


We meet again, good Tower!


Yes. For those who don’t know, I have faced this Tower of Terror once before in my life…when I was 5 years old. I don’t know how I was conned into it, but I was. I don’t remember the ride itself. I just remember waiting in the queue and staring up at this twisted building through the trees. That’s right…through the trees!


Here goes nothing!


While half of the group went to go deal with their ticketing situation, us others entered the park. We waited around for a few minutes and finally were able to go…


“It just looks so….so….so much better than ours!”


That’s right…it was time to finally face the good Twilight Zone: Tower of Terror, twelve years after my initial confrontation.


*Cues background music*


Ahhah! Ladies and gentlemen…THIS is the view I remembered from 12 years ago.


Phew. Good to know that thus far, its on par with the California attraction.


…but it wouldn’t stay that way.


The preshow room is nearly identical to that of the California attraction. The differences start on the other side of that sliding door. We entered the boiler room. Now, I was totally digging the more “realistic” lighting in this room, although I can agree that it could be a little darker. And the bellhops simply weren’t as in character today, at least compared to what I’m used too. But once we were wished a nice stay, and the elevator door shut, the ride experience was entirely different, and entirely better.


The first scene is similar to the hallway scene in the California attraction, but somewhat different. I liked this one better, as the show effects seemed more seamless, despite their age. But it was the next level that would blow me away.


We get to the next level, and something strange happened…the doors opened, and we actually began to move out of the shaft, forwards! Ok, I’ll stop playing stupid(er), as I knew this was what would happen. But I cant say that I ever got over the novelty of doing so! It just added a whole new dimension too the attraction (literally), absent on the west coast. Not to mention, it included what I might consider to be my favorite show effect ever! As you make your way through the 4d room, the stars in the distance slowly group together into a small, bright spot before you, which then shoots out into a vertical beam, and then parts as an elevator door would. Between my growing tiredness and sheer awe at the effect, my mouth was wide open at the sight, and I didn’t even realize it!


We then proceed into the darkness, when you can feel yourself lock into the shaft, as you feel the heat of the ride (that’s what she said!). After some totally awesome, random drop sequences, and a final small show scene, we exited.


I was frustrated. I really didn’t want to like it as much as I did. Between lower standards set on this coast, and the stand-alone-awesomeness of this tower, I was in love. As a matter of fact, I might be as bold as to say it was my favorite attraction of the trip. Maybe.


Anyway, onwards!...


Yes! Another new ride for me!


I really liked Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster. Other than the poorly themed outdoor extended queue and the obnoxious preshow (which I learned, can be made better with some dialogue), the ride was real awesome. Although, as with Mulholland Madness, I cant say that I am totally buying the concept of “a ride through LA’s fast-paced and exciting freeway system!”.


This was one of those times that Robb really stuck his head out to make sure that I had a great ride on this thing (and stuck his head out to avoid headbashing, I presume). So a big thanks to him for that. All of us TPR’ers were able to fit in the back half of the “Super stretch limo” (what’s up with annoying preshows and the word “super”?!). The ride itself was cool. It may have had the good ‘ole Disney “cardboard cutouts” that we were whizzing past, but at least it was in the dark, so you couldn’t just see the signs bolted to the supports, as you can with Mulholland Madness. And no, I’m not comparing it to Mulholland Madness, so get off my back!


Anyway, I liked the ride…happy?


Although, I have to admit that I find the guitar to be the most uniquely “cool” thing about the whole ride!



It was at this point that Robb and Elissa had to go check into the house that we would be staying at, so our group was on our own. Although, the gruesome twosome did sugguest we go see the Lights, Motors, Action: Extreme Stunt Show, because Cameron (who is a guy, by the way!) likes cars. So off we were, on a dramatic rat race across Disney-MGM Studios, in search of the Lights, Motors, Action show…


Found it!


Now mind you, I havn’t had anything to drink for a good while now and the heat/humidity has been laying on hard ever since we left air-conditioned Rock ‘N’ Roller Coaster, not to mention that I havn’t slept for since the morning before, CA time. Sitting tightly packed in those uncomfortable bleachers, waiting for the damn show to start, was not a fun thing! I think most in our group can attest to that! The heat, seat, and my fatigue was making me a bit irritable. And the show was a bit late at starting…so long story short, I didn’t go into this thing in the best of spirits.


I didn’t know it got this hot in France!


Uhoh…I think the heat is really getting to Guy! Or is it Kim?!


OMG…it’s the Action part!


More Action!


This is what happens when you load a car the way you load a spinning wild mouse!


At this point of the show, I was pretty much feeling like the guy on the left.


OMG! So much orgasmic Action, my head is going to explode!





The truth of the matter was, Lights, Motors, Action, had way more Lights and Motors, than it had Action. Now I understand that the gravity of the major stunts involve require a lengthy set up, to ensure proper safety…but I just wasn’t thinking rationally when I was watching that show.


So sorry, as I know that a lot of people really like the show! But as for me, the “quickie” bursts of excitement, followed by lengthy set up periods which they tried to mask by going to some audience members I don’t give a crap about, just wasn’t enough…in the end, I didn’t care for the show. At least as much as I had hoped I would (as I really wanted to like this thing).


At this point, I really began to feel like stopping for a bit, but the team wanted to press onward, toward the Studio Tram…I figured it was a place to sit down, and the tram movement might breeze me off, so I allowed myself to go with them.


Onward to Michael Bay: the ride!


The queue of the “Studio Tram” was littered with random pictures and props from Michael Bay films, and he even dropped in on the Preshow! And if you dare tell people about his “Harbor Attack” preshow, I swear to God he’ll kill you!


Sweet! I’m totally going to get to see how they made the Ernest films!


At least they attempted to “update” the ride, by including the bone cages, from Pirates of the Carribean 2.


A question for the Universal peeps…am I allowed to use “old and stupid” for a Disney caption?


Probably the coolest thing on the tour...Walt’s plane.


Jon fell asleep! He was the first one from the red-eye flight to pass out!





So basically, after the Studio tour, we were all wiped out. We need to just sit, eat, rest, replenish, renourish, and wake the hell up. We headed over to the ABC Commissary to grab a seat, some grub, and some air conditioning, and it wasn’t long before I was feeling A LOT better. Guy said he wanted to go check out the Indiana Jones show, and I decided to go with, as did Ryan, and Joe.


Indy of the East!


So yea, Indiana Jones (Raiders) is pretty much my second favorite movie of all time. Nothing beats Forrest Gump, ever, but Raiders comes in a close second. So it comes to no surprise that I personally really liked this show, despite its age! The shade was better than at Lights, Motors, Action, the set up between sequences was shorter, and Indiana Jones is just cool!


Guy was a little frustrated that the hostess never picked him to volunteer, despite his…er…enthusiastic attempts to get her attention.



Do it. Do it. Do it.


Any show with Nazis, mechanics getting eaten by a propeller, and FIRE is a good show to me!




It was at this point that we got the call from Robb and Elissa that they were done with their errands, and that it was time to leave. I know your all saying "But Jahan! What about Great Movie Ride?!"...well, we had reservations for food at Epcot, and had to get over there. But dont worry, I'll be back for Dinosaur and Great Movie Ride later.


All and all, this first impression of Disney-MGM Studios was a good one. I recognize that a lot of my "not-so-impressed" moments are a result of me being fatigued, hungry, and hot.


One complaint that I will mention, is that the park felt very lopsided. I didn't realise until I got to the park, that Tower of Terror and Rock 'N' Roller Coaster are RIGHT next to each other. I think that the other side of the park could REALLY use the same caliber of an attraction, to help diversify and better distribute the parks attractions.



Now off to Epcot...lets get it on!...




Uh…once again….I’ll be back in a sec. *grabs Vaseline*


Now I’m NOT going to include my official Epcot trip report right now. So sorry to tease you! But, we did eat in the Japanese pavilion, which was definitely my favorite of all of the dining experiences for the whole trip!


Volcano: The Blast Dinner


The dinner was VERY entertaining, and the food was VERY flavorful. I would definitely recommend this experience to anybody.


Lastly, we headed out to get an absolutely AMAZING spot to watch Illuminations (a big thank you to Stacy! Love you so much for that!).


Now Illuminations is a show that I have always been told by everybody that it’s the most amazing fireworks show that they have ever seen. Sort of high expectations to live up to, going into this thing. As a matter of fact, I was sort of worried that I wouldn’t like it for that very reason.


…but I loved it. I loved it so much. I don’t know what it was about the show, but I just melted watching it. Afterwards, I was speechless. Trust me, Elissa shoved a camera in my face, asking what I thought, and all I think I could say was “thank you”. And if its not what I said, then right now…Robb and Elissa—thank you.


Forgive me for this dramatic lapse of seriousness, but….I think its because its so easy to recognize that human beings are stupid. Its so common to see that we’re going to blow ourselves up one day, and that the human race pretty much sucks. Its for this reason, that when I was enchanted by the choreographed threads of fireworks and raging globules of fire, I somehow felt hope. I cant even describe it. It was probably only for a second, but I felt hope for human beings. Don’t ask me how a silly fireworks show can make you feel that way, but it did. Trust me. If you noticed, I didn’t speak until we made it back to the van, it struck that deep a chord with me.


…totally emo of me, but what can I say!


You don’t know how hard it was to get a decent shot where the globe didn’t say “Seimens” on it!


Illuminations concluded my first day in Florida. I was totally exhausted, and a daunting four days stood before me! But it started on a good foot. A really good foot. Like, a foot that’s been soaking in the Alvey’s chemical bucket, good.


And with that, this another portion of the trip report comes to a close. Thanks for putting up with Jahan, yet again! Questions, comments, concerns, or praise is welcome, as always…



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Awesome report so far, Jahan. The Motor stunt show in France is SO much better, because it doesn't have all the annoying stops in the action. I'm guessing US insurance laws have a lot to do with that. I enjoyed the show in MGM when I saw it, but I can see why sitting in the sun all that time would make it not fun (that whole area should be covered, in my opinion).


I also think they really need to add a new major ride to MGM. But at least there are places to eat there, unlike Animal Kingdom.


Looking forward to the next installment...



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I agree also that Animal Kingdom sorely lacks in the food area. If I really have to eat there, there is a good chicken parmesan sandwich at Pizzafari, and a salad with chicken at Tusker House, but that's it! AK could seriously use another three or four big fast food places, as well as a couple of more full service restaurants.


OMG! So that was the sandwich I had! It was sooo good. I was very impressed with it--very flavorful.


Anyway, dark dark Dinosaur may not have the best story... or theming, but I feel it is still a great dark ride. We all found the movements of the jeeps amazing, and the dinosaurs looked good, and there were far more of them on this small attraction than on the huge Jurassic Park River Adventure. And the ride did get your heart pumping as the meteor shower gets closer. The ride becomes more intense as the ride goes on until the climax of the ride, which really gets you into the story. Very thrilling and an overall fun ride experience. Dinosaur > Jurassic Park, even though I have a sweet spot for both the film Jurassic Park and the ride.

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As I've told you before. I love your TRs. They are honest, funny, heartwarming, and true. My thoughts about these parks exactly. I didn't realize you got all choked up about Illuminations so much. I would have made fun of you more had I known. Actually, I shed a tear as well. But, it was probably from the intense heat and not the emotional response from the show. JK! I think it is by far the best of the Disney fireworks shows I've ever seen.


Keep up the awesome job.

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Hey guys! I don’t know why this IOA trip report was so hard to actually write, but I finally just belched it out! I know it isn’t as descriptive as some of my other reports, but please, try your best to enjoy! Thank you!…





Park V: Universal’s Islands of Adventure



Universal’s Islands of Adventure probably had to be my most anticipated park of the Florida trip. I didn’t know much about it, other than it simply looked freaking sweet.


Now, before we get to the park, I have good news…no, I didn’t save money on my car insurance. However, I did save a bit of cash by switching from a room/bed to an air mattress in the living room of the TPR house, with Ryan, Joe, and Carlos. Now, I’m not complaining, whatsoever, however….our ability to fall asleep relied entirely on when the party animal’s (*points finger*…you know who you are!) decided to crash. Which means that despite all of our exhaustion, we really had to wait for the house to settle down before we could get some quality sleep…unless you’re talking about Carlos, who could probably sleep under any conditions. Anyway, I had only gotten about 4 and a half hours of sleep the night before Universal, but I was luckily able to put my tiredness on my “Sleep Charge Card”, and just sleep it back off when I got home.




Anyway, we got to Universal Studios early enough. As always, we were forced to park at the very end of a row! I blame Magic Mountain. Now, I have always known that Universal Hollywood is rockin the escalator/moving walkway gig, but WOW! Universal Orlando!...now THAT’S a maze of moving walkways! It took about 30 minutes to find the damn park! And it was pretty tricky of them to force us to walk through City Walk.


It took us about 10 minutes to figure out the ticketing situation, as Universal had their only their bestest main gate employees today. Finally, we entered the park.


…after a word from our sponsers.


Now, please forgive me for not having pictures from the first 30 minutes of the park. You see, promptly after entering the park, I had fallen ill! My stomach was basically flipping out for a bit. I guess I inhaled too much wookie-hair on the flight or something ( …love you!). Long story short, it had prevented me from getting to ride Hulk with the gang. I basically chilled out with Elissa while we waited impatiently for the sluggish Hulk-crew to pick up their one-train-operation!


Finally, the gang had gotten off of Hulk (I knew I would head back for it at a later time), and we hit up Spiderman. I was definitely feeling better at this point, but not quite “take lots of photos” better, so I’m still not taking pictures, at this point.


Spiderman was loads of fun! I was definitely impressed with how they integrated the screen-technology into the ride! I thought it would be lame, but I actually ended up thoroughly enjoying the ride. I will say, however, that I prefer Indiana Jones—the fully real environment still tops whatever the screen-technology can do. But that scene where your rising up between the sky-scrapers is just amazing!


At this time, Elissa was getting, er…determined to make sure that we made it onto Dueling Dragons, and got to fully enjoy the experience.




Anyway…Dueling Dragons…


*cues more dramatic background music!*


Dueling Dragons was probably my favorite roller coaster expirence of the trip. The novelty of dueling simply never got old for me! I know this sounds very basic, but the ride(s) are simply so well engineered! I loved it.


Omg…its just so beautiful, that I cant manufacture a humorous caption!


…or is it that I’m just not funny.


I love to play footsies!


…Yea…I’m pretty much just not funny.


But Flying Unicorn is! It was opened immediately after we exited Dragons, and we got that credit. Not bad, but in reality got so many of the “roller skater” credits this trip, it isn’t even funny. …like me!


Onwards, we headed into the Jurassic Park section of the park.


Here, we now lift the curtain of time…


A rather weak level of wetness, compared to some of IOA’s other attractions.


What is there really to say Jurassic Park: River Adventure? It’s similar to Universal Studios Hollywood’s version…but it wasn’t in the dark! I didn’t really feel like one ride was better than the other…even remotely. Although, simply due to each park’s line-up of attractions, Jurassic feels like a major, solid attraction at Hollywood, but feels somewhat less amazing in Islands of Adventure—perhaps as it serves as more of a “filler” attraction than as the second-most major ride. Heh.


Onwards, to a real gem in IOA….


Be cautioned, there is a chance you may get wet.


Dudley Do Right's Ripsaw Falls!


I really really liked Ripsaw Falls! The scenery wasn’t anything to write home about, but as far as a standalone log flume, it has probably got to be my favorite! And compared to some wet-experiences I would get later in my journey, this ride had a pretty reasonable/acceptable level of wetness!


Fun and a half.


After powering through so many attractions in so little time, I think we were all ready for a break! Good timing too, as our reservation for lunch was nearing, at Mythos.



Looks like a biker throwing up after consuming too much alcohol!


On a serious note, it was probably the most beautiful restaurant we ate at the whole trip.


I actually really liked Mythos. I know a lot of people were saying that it isn’t what it used to be, but hey…our waiter was nice, the environment was real spiffy, I got a freaking awesome pepperoni pizza, the cost didn’t end up being too bad (although I still owe Guy $0.33!). So I liked it.


The group assembling after food for a quick fart-trailing contest.


After Mythos, we had soon found our way into Seuss Landing. This land had a nice selection of rides and attractions, for sure. Cat in the Hat was a very nice dark ride, and One Fish, Two Fish… was a blast! Although Robb kept piloting our fish into the jets! Grrr… as far as the Sky Trolley is concerned, that ride wouldn’t have been fun, unless it was with a group like TPR! They helped make it fun!


The ride was just confusing…but so is TPR, so the forces just canceled out.


It was at this point that we had officially made the weirdest circle around the park, and we were finished. We decided to hope over to Universal Studios Orlando for a quick credit run, before returning to IOA.


…With great poundage comes great responsibility…


With a façade like that, its pretty much already better than Hollywood’s version!




Yea…this is pretty much illegal on several levels.


Robb is fabulously addressing the troops after WoodieWoodpecker’s whatever.


We shall return to USF tonight. Oh yes we shall.



So yea, the group sort of split at Universal Studios after about 45 minutes, and I headed back for Islands of Adventure with several others. Essentially, we were just doubling back over the park, and hitting up whatever we missed the first time.


Either I’m excited to finally get my Hulk credit, or I just won with my late entry into that fart-trailing contest!


Hulk was another pretty solid ride—it had its signature move, yet maintained fairly nice pacing throughout the rest of the ride. But I favor that first zero-g, most!


More exciting than my left-nipple hair.




Slowly but surely, we made our way into the Marvel land, first hitting up Doctor Doom’s Fearfall, which surprisingly had as much themeing and a more involving story than the Hulk did!


The best air in all of Florida! …or at least the parts I visited!


Up next we went to reride Spiderman, but about 3/4 the way through the ride, we stopped! I don’t know what was up, or if they just accidentally let the blocking slip up or something, but we stopped!


I blame Magic Mountain.


It was cool too. We broke down in the room where the Green Goblin guy throws a pumpkin bomb at the bridge, and a giant fireball shoots out! So we saw that fireball a good 4-5 times before the effect cut out!


We *heart* breakdowns!


It didn't take long to slowly but surely make our way through the rest of the attraction, with the effects ill-timed to our irregular pacing. But they did let us immediately ride again, so I have to say the expirence was rather positive!


Again, we continued around the park. Next, we decided to reride Dudley Do Rights Ripsaw Falls. This time on the ride itself, I had actually gotten less wet than my previous ride! The thing is, the very last turn of the ride, after the drop, they have about 6 or 8 of those little cannons set up, where you can purchase a chance to fire them at your friends or what not. Well some punk-ass family had purchased all of them up, and fired them in synchronous as our log passed by! We didn’t even know them!


Long story short, the cannons soaked all of us beyond belief! Totally not fun! Between my newfound peanut-butter harassments and some of my recent water rides, I’ve really begun to feel sympathetic for Dan!


I am going to kill that family!


We continued around the park even more, soaked, and thought we wouldn’t mind drying off on the spin cycle, at Dragons again.


After all, I needed to ride Fire in the back, or else someone was going to kill me!


Love you!




Anyway, at this point I cant say that I entirely remember what happened! If somebody can enlighten me, please, feel free to do so. Actually, if I remember correctly, Guy and myself had decided to run off and grab some footage/photos. Yea, I think that’s what went down.


…and it wasn’t long until we hi-tailed it out of there.



…for just $45.95 with today’s admission!






Yup…that was pretty much it…yup! Islands of Adventure was a really great park. Very beautiful, a solid lineup of rides, etc. The only things were, it’s operations was a bit disappointing, and there wasn’t much to do other than the “marketed” attractions. Definitely more than AK or MGM, but I still felt like the park needed a few more filler attractions. Perhaps I feel this way because of the fact that the park was scarily-empty, enabling us to finish it in a few hours!




Anyway, thank you guys so much for sticking around with me for yet another segment! So sorry that this one was a bit weak, but I just had to force myself to write it, or else I would never get to finish these PTRs! I’m pretty sure that the next one will be better.


As always, questions, comments, concerns, or praise is welcome!



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I forgot about the "Spidey" breakdown. It was awesome! We had this fireball effect going off in our faces like half a dozen times before they shut it down and cycled the cars through the ride.


It definitely got hot in there. I was going to strip down naked, but didn't want Jahan to feel threatened.




As usual, excellent commentary on a great TR!


I look forward to the rest.

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Omg…its just so beautiful, that I cant manufacture a humorous caption!


…or is it that I’m just not funny.


?? You are very funny .... looking


bwhahaha .. I kill me.



Seriously, awesome photos .. I'm way envious.



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I've had my fair share of Spidey breakdowns. We stopped about where you did, and eventually made it back to the station with no effects at all. They immediately let us ride again, however.


But those movements feel quite rough and bizarre without the screens there... but they are amazing with the screens. Perfectly timed and executed movements make Kyle quite happy.

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Thanks for all of the comments guys! Now onward!...


Park VI: Universal Studios Orlando

Halloween Horror Nights


Halloween Horror Nights at Universal Orlando was sort of intimidating for me. As people had told me Illuminations was the best fireworks show ever, I had heard from many that Florida’s Halloween Horror Nights event was pretty much the best Halloween experience that you can get at a park. Quite a title to live up to. But after liking the taste of Hollywood’s event from the week prior, I was enthusiastic to see what big-brother-Florida’s event would be like.




By the time we had left Islands of Adventure, the TPR gang had already begun to congregate by the Hard Rock entrance.


Does anybody know why Universal has a chunk of the Berlin wall hiding back here?!


I try my R.I.P. Sticker on for size.


Finally when everybody had grouped together we entered the park, and headed for the little museum/showcase they had set up on history of Halloween Horror Nights. The museum was cool, even to me (…someone who hasn’t heard about any of this stuff, ever!). It was jammed with conceptual art, detailed blueprint drawings, “artifacts” from years past, so on and so forth…


How many times have you seen this picture?


Thar’ be gold in them hills!


…like kids in a candy shop.


It wasn’t long until Michael Roddy, a creative director for Halloween Horror Nights, came out to tell us about his personal experiences behind the scenes. This was an entirely unique and very cool look into the world of Halloween events.


“Zombies don’t use shaker-cans—they eat people!”


…when he said that, I immediately decided that I liked Halloween Horror Nights!


After our waltz through the museum, we meandered across the park until we found our next stop on the tour. Perhaps the most important stop of the night…the buffet!...


IOA may have amazing scenery, but this was definitely the most beautiful sight in the resort!


Getting to know our tour guides.


If picture is worth a thousand words, than this ones worth about four-times that many.


Finally after some dinner, it was time to face Halloween Horror Nights: Sweet 16.


This one didn’t taste quite as nice as that awesome homemade pumpkin cake I had the other night.


This WOULD have been a nice shot of the Rat-lady…but for reasons beyond my control….I’ll just stop while I’m ahead. Or is it too late?



Alright, now it was time for me to start hitting up these mazes! Unfortunately, I cant even pretend to remember what order we hit up the mazes in. As a matter of fact, I cant say that I remember the majority of their names! So just enjoy the few pictures that I did take…heh. I’ll provide my general synopsis of them near the end.


I wasn’t really impressed with Universal’s ability to pitch a tent.


TPR’ers, watching Mr. Chainsaw man do is job.


Mr. Chainsaw man doing his job.


Robb: “Jahan is so awesome, that I think I’ll let his awesomeness count for his trip deposit!”




Well, after doing three or so mazes, it was time for me to finally see what some would argue as the “highlight” of the event…




Now if you are one of the select few cool people that have been following all of my Super Sweet October Trip-Trip Report thus far, you may remember that I saw the Heckles and Twitch version of Fear Factor: Live at Universal Studios Hollywood the week before. We had walked into that show being told that it would sort of stand as the Bill and Ted’s of the West. And it was a major letdown. Now, that doesn’t mean that I was by any means doubting the actual Bill and Ted’s…if anything, it made me more curious to see it!


Some people can wait for the show more patiently than others.


How can you go wrong with freaking amazing seats like this!


Shhh!...the show is starting with a flashback to the years of the past.


Beware of the Kraken! This Kraken may smell like a firecracker, but at least it doesn’t eat cell phones!


There are mother f***in coaster enthusiasts in the mother f***in theatre!


No Halloween pop-culture parody show would be complete without a Tom Cruise character!


…no, seriously…between the 3 “pop culture parody” shows I witnessed this October, they all included Tom Cruise, and share much of the rest of the characters too.


“$%$ #$%^#$%&^%$ %^$##^&&**&%$@$%^”


Their Jack Sparrow character was really good! Dead men tell excellent tales!




I know a lot of Bill-and-Ted veteran-watchers, while enjoying the show, claimed that it wasn’t as good as some years past, but for my inaugural viewing, I couldn’t stop laughing! The show was real good fun! I would definitely consider it the highlight of the night and possibly the staple of the event. And the pyro didn’t even scare Jon!






After Bill and Ted’s, we made our way out to see the Universal 360: Directors Cut show…Now I don’t know if it’s because I was enchanted by Illuminations the night before, or if this show is merely genuinely in-and-of-itself lame, but I was by no means impressed with the show. Sort of just waited there patiently for it to end. I forget who sugguested it, but I like the idea that they should just loop the horror clips as the night goes on, instead of making a whole boring show with them. Anyway, the highlight of the show, is when I went to go get a drink from the fountain, to pass time, some drunk chick, who couldn’t have been older than 16, came out of the women’s bathroom and grabbed my butt because “she wanted too”.


…I completely understand.






Yuck…that last maze smelled like Magic Mountain.




All and all, I was thoroughly impressed with pretty much all of the mazes! Other than the USH “Asylum” maze, I don’t believe that I have ever encountered a maze with this much detail, staging, atmosphere, etc. As Michael Roddy pointed out, there’s definitely a difference between being startled and being scared. And the whole of these mazes were legitimately scary. And even when they did go for a startle, it was at a level beyond anything I’ve ever seen before. Not only was I not jumped at with a shaker-can. Not only was I jumped at with a knife. Not only was there a lighting effect when actor with the knife jumped out. But the knife even emitted the classic “shwing” sound, as the actor jumped out, accompanied by a lighting effect!


Hehehe…I said “shwing”.


The actors were for the most part great and the show effects were amazing. My personal favorite was the boy strapped to the inclined-table, screaming for mercy, when all of a sudden the torturer hacks a dremel-tool across the boys chest, squirting “blood” over all of the guests. And who can forget the toilet that flung something wet into my face.


By the time that we had finished the last maze, we decided to hurry over and see if we could catch the last bit of the Robosaurus show, but when we got there, everything was silent. Hmmm…what on Earth could be going on?


Why on Earth is everybody standing around?


It would end up that Mr. Robosaurus accidentally had dropped a car where it shouldn’t have, while there were other street performers out and about! Nobody was hurt, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t concern! So the show was essentially canceled, mid-performance, while crew members attempted to figure out the logistics of the accident.


We may not have gotten Robosaurus, but we get Street-cleaners-osauruses!




Finally, to finish of the night, we decided to walk (or waddle, if you were Ryan) through some of the scare-zones that we had missed.


Much cooler than “Monster Alley”!


Hmmm…I think this is how I’ll kill myself when I lose the bet.


*sigh*…I guess we sort of have to check out that “Arrival” thing. I didn’t really get it.


Dude, its Alice! Funny thing is, I would encounter her yet again at a very different Halloween Party, the following night.





In the end, I was really pleased with the Halloween Horror Nights events, in both Hollywood and Orlando. Admittedly, the Orlando event was better as it was bigger. But in a few years when the Hollywood version is beefed up a bit, these two events will be the most amazing Halloween duo. Brothers in arms, if you will. The event in Orlando was horribly crowded, but thanks to the amazing opportunities afforded to us via our amazing host and hostess, we were able to do absolutely everything and then some! So thank you again, for that!


Long story short, I left very very very very very pleased with Halloween Horror Nights!


And very very very very very tired. And very very very very very staged. But really, I was tired!


This had the potential of being a good picture! Shame!


Finally, I will leave you with one last picture. It isn’t necessarily clear, so I’ll tell you now…it’s a picture of Joe, driving, with his window down, and his head out the window, through a giant stream of water, created by a broken sprinkler near the house, on the way home.







Well, that should do it for another installment! Thanks for putting up with me yet again! As always, questions, comments, concerns, or praise are welcome!


Thanks again!



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