Adult Night at the Boston's Children's Museum
Ok this update isn't of an amusement park. It's not even of a FEC. It's of the Boston's Children's Museum. I've done some things without kids like going to Story Land or Sesame Place that draw weird looks from everyone, but this would have definitely drawn red flags. However, every so often they offer an adult night. I finally attended and it was glorious. No screaming kids. Only 20-something year olds double fisting beers having the time of their lives in a museum designed for 4-7 year olds.
Upon entering the museum, you are greeted by a massive 3 story climbing maze that connects the bottom level to the top level. I believe I have seen something like this in the St. Louis City Museum TRs, but this one may be even harder since it's designed exclusively for kids. I'm a pretty skinny guy and I had a really hard time fitting through. I even saw a few poor souls get stuck and have to back out like a Mack truck.
But the highlight was seeing someone treat it like an army obstacle course. A macho man with a buzz cut waited for the maze to clear out and then went blitzkrieg the whole way through. Everyone clapped and cheered him on as he pulled himself through the tiny crevices at the end. He was sweating buckets open entering. Instead of being doused by a Gatorade bath, his entourage was waiting for him with beer.
And as a side note, the cruel structure actually has several dead ends along the way. So not only do you have to really squeeze through, but if you go the wrong way you have to climb back down and contort unnaturally to head in another direction.
They also had a ripoff of Legoland's Kid Power Tower. After strapping yourself in (or not like I saw many do), you can hoist yourself up a grand total of 5 feet learning about the power of the pulley.
There was also jumbo bowling if you couldn't support half your weight. We skipped this activity since it had a sizable line, but basically you lugged a giant inflatable ball down a hallway and tried to knock over as many pins as possible.
If you're more into cardio than strength training, the Children's Museum has you covered with the most dangerous game of dancing dodge tag. 6-8 people step on the board. The music starts. And then it's a drunken frenzy to avoid the glowing light of doom on the floor. I say the game was dangerous since the board was covered in beer. For some reason, I have a feeling that isn't a problem on most days.
Don't worry, this update isn't entirely without a roller coaster. The museum also has a "Gravity Room" with jumbo sized marble runs. You could send your balls down a 15ft tall roller coaster complete with parabolic airtime hills. Most people had too little speed and valleyed. A few were successful. I sent my ball down the hill like an Arrow launched loop and subjected my ball to a little too much ejector air (I may or may not have hit someone in the back of the leg, oops...).
They also had one of those spiral things you see at malls, except instead of donating 25 cents you could use jumbo marbles. They also had a ski jump and loop-the-loop game that turned into pseudo beer pong. You would send your marble down a ramp and off a jump trying to make it land in the buckets at the bottom.
The top floor is themed to diversity. If you are easily offended, please stop reading this report.
They have a full scale Spanish-themed supermarket. I haven't spent too much time in Spanish themed supermarkets (Market Basket all the way), but this had some interesting items such as Cock Flavored (yes you read that right) seasoning and African phone cards. But in all seriousness, cock flavored seasoning!
The exhibit was pretty well set-up though and I could see kids having a grand old time in there. It kind of looked like the Kidzania things I've seen overseas.
Up next was the Boston Black area, a section dedicated to the African Americans in Boston. They had a David Ortiz photo opportunity and an interactive computer game. While the latter was supposed to be educational, we found it absolutely hysterical. Boston is considered one of the most racist cities in America and I feel like this game didn't help our cause one bit.
They also had the John Smith Barber Shop where you could get all sorts of exotic haircuts (except not really).
All night they had a dance floor open with a DJ. We spent our night exploring the museum, but after the exhibits closed we heard what was playing and absolutely died laughing. They were playing none other than I Want it that Way. All the 90s kids were fist pumping and dancing to the Backstreet Boys. That was really the perfect way to end the night.
If you have kids, the Boston's Children's Museum is a must. If you have an inner kid in you, the Adult Night at the Boston's Children's Museum is a must. The museum is 3 floors of interactive exhibits and had shades of the City Museum mixed with a science museum.