A bear and a squirrel are walking down a forest path next to a river. Suddenly, the river genie pops up.
"Sigh, two of you? Eh. Let's do it in turns" says the river genie. "Mr. Bear, what is your first wish?"
Bear: "I want every other bear in the forest to be female." The genie grants his wish.
Genie: "What about you, Mr. Squirrel?"
Squirrel: "I want a motorbike." The bear is in disapproval of the squirrel. The genie grants the squirrel's wish anyway.
Genie: "What is your second wish, Mr. Bear?"
Bear: "Wait, no. I want every other bear in the COUNTRY to be female". The genie grants his wish.
Genie: "Now for you, Mr. Squirrel?"
Squirrel: "I want a motorbike helmet." The bear stares at the squrrel in disbelief and looks at the squirrel like he has three heads. The genie grants his wish.
Genie: "What is your third and final wish, Mr. Bear?"
Bear: "I have a better idea. I want every other bear in the W O R L D to be female." The genie grants his wish.
Genie: "What is your third and final wish, Mr. Squirrel?"
The squirrel turns on the motorbike engine and puts on his helmet. A split second later, the squirrel shoots off at top speed. Without looking back, he shouts "I WANT THE BEAR TO BE GAY!!!". The genie grants his wish.
Jeb and Willy were out dove hunting early one morning, when they found a deep hole in the ground. It was so deep, they couldn't see the bottom. As they stood there, looking at the hole, Jeb spotted an old car transmission sitting nearby. "Hey, Willy!" he said, "Let's drop this down the hole and see how long she takes to hit bottom." They hoisted the old hunk of steel into the hole. Just then, they heard a rustling in the bushes behind them. They turned around just in time to see a goat come charging through the bushes. It ran past them and, without thinking twice, dove headfirst into the hole. A few minutes later, a farmer came walking through the bushes. "Morning, fellers," he said, "Didja happen to see a goat come through here?" "Shore did," said Willy, "he dun came through them bushes and darned if he didn't jump right down that hole. Strangest thing I ever saw." "That's impossible," said the farmer, scratching his head, "I had 'im tied to an old transmission."
Did you know that the Titanic had a large shipment of mayonnaise for Mexico? When the shipment didn't arrive, the people of Mexico were deeply upset and declared a national day of mourning. It falls on the 5th of May every year and is known as Sinko de Mayo.
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