BeemerBoy Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 It was time once again to take the in-laws up on their offer to join them at Dollywood as season passholder guests. I'm certainly never opposed to that. Last year it was on Mother's Day, and this year just happened to be a few weeks later. Thankfully, the temperature remained comfortable enough thanks to an overcast day. The crowds were light, the food was great, and the mullets out in force. In this report you can expect to see the following: Food A walkway.....but not just any walkway. Mullet Watch '08 A never-before-seen Exclusive POV!!! and a certain Civil War General And then we retired back to base camp, where I found this gem. Yay, Pacman! Up next, Dollywood. Here I am, helping out the local economy. Again, mmmmm, fudge. Pigeon Forge/Gatlinburg will never run short of two things.....Pancakes and Fudge. Mmmmm, fudge. Hi, Wes! And this is a sample of what you'll find on the Gatlinburg strip. "Grrr, I'm a dinosaur waiting to rip you off with my outdated motion simulator experience.....nevermind the candy, I want your cash." "Grrrr, don't forget about me to the right. I'm the Joel Schumacher Batmobile. AKA, a disaster." That's a lovely overview of Gatlinburg, ya'll. Hey look, something with a coaster tie-in. yep, don't worry, you're getting closer to Dollywood with every pic. But hang on, what the...?? When did we stop beating up on the commies? Canaba? What? Fail. This game should always be USA vs. Russia. Ohhhh, but wait, time to give credit where credit is due. They DID have the greatest arcade game of all time (or close to it, anyway). Then it was off to the arcade, where you can find all the latest hits! Tire hit....mission accomplished. POV.....but not the exclusive one you turned in to see. That's later. I only wish these sections were more rounded so you didn't need to slow down any. Oh well. The main attraction! Alpine slides...woohoo! Beware of killer asterisks!!!! ***************** Oh yeah, there's also this random water slide. Actually, this looked pretty fun. Not to be left out, you find a kiddie playground, and a kiddie flat ride. Outside, there's a tremendous selection of everyone's favorite two rides randomly placed on top of a mountain. There's the classic pirate ship thingy, and some random raft slide thingy too. Behind them is one of the ski slopes. If you're a hockey fan, then this might interest you. Okay, if you're a figure skater too....I don't wanna leave anyone out. Although hockey's obviously better. If you're into watching black bears be treated like crap as they sit on their obvious natural habitat of concrete, then turn left here. Did you click on this thinking you were gonna see Dollywood right away? Muahahaha.....first you must endure the awesomeness that is Ober Gatlinburg. A look at one of the new cars. They're exactly the same as the old ones. Same dimensions and everything. Yep, you can sleep easier tonight now. Traveling up to Ober Gatlinburg. Wow, the captions just don't get any better than that now do they? A look at one of the old cars that was retired last year after 30+years of service. In other words, an ACE convention will never be held up here. Hi Nikki! Has this TR succeeded where the previous one failed? A look at what's offered up top in Ober Gatlinburg. We were denied this on our last visit. Time to venture out onto the Gatlinburg strip. This picture was taken the same day Kong at USH burned down. Coincidence? Yes. Now move along to the next pic. The pool. There may even be an exclusive bikini pic if you kids are good. Okay, we both like to think we're fairly intelligent people. However, after we had both finished looking through the book on the table, neither one of us could figure out the point of this advertisement. Honestly, I'm still lost. Any help? ...and if this were Cribs, I'd say, "this is where the magic happens." The living area..... Our place for the weekend. Must stay on path to Pigeon Forge. Must resist urge to turn around towards Bessemer. This was a tough one. After hours of careful consideration, we decided on Dollywood.
Looty Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 That's Interesting!...How far is Gaitburg (or whatever) from Pigeon Forge?
terrancew_hod Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Title was named TR:Dollywood yet we didn't see it. What we were also promised: Mullet Watch '08 An never-before-seen Exclusive POV!!! I thinking about 2 minutes of my life has been flushed. I've been hoodwinked. Where's the mods? Terry "Boo, change the title so people know what they are actually getting" Weaver
307 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 I haven't finished reading yet, but wanted to comment on the "HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT GAS PRICES" thing... What I'm figuring is that he's a chainsaw killer. With a gas-powered chainsaw. He doesn't care about gas prices, he will kill you anyway! So you shouldn't care about gas prices, either, because you drive a gas-powered chainsaw! Or something. I could be wrong though.
krazekiddd Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Damnit, That was the one place I wanted to do last time I was in the area but the lift was closed! Oddly enough, I miss that place! Can't wait to see the rest. Oh and thanks for the hoagie shop!
funkybadger Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Title was named TR:Dollywood yet we didn't see it. What we were also promised: Mullet Watch '08 An never-before-seen Exclusive POV!!! I thinking about 2 minutes of my life has been flushed. I've been hoodwinked. Where's the mods? Terry "Boo, change the title so people know what they are actually getting" Weaver I completely agree! Is this like a tornado watch, where we're supposed to be on the lookout? Maybe you should update the title to "Mullet Warning" when there are actually some to be seen!
ernierocker Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 That's Interesting!...How far is Gaitburg (or whatever) from Pigeon Forge? Gatlinburg is just a few miles from Pigeon Forge. Gatlinburg does have a ton of fudge and pancakes. But don't forget about the ninja stores. If you are a ninja and you need to gear up quickly while bargain shopping, Gatlinburg is the place for you!
shesaidboom Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Much better! I approve of this TR. YAY mountain slides!
BeemerBoy Posted June 6, 2008 Author Posted June 6, 2008 Okay, so now onto the much anticipated Dollywood part....featuring Mullet Watch '08! You all know about the coasters here by now. I'll just add that I'm one of those who "gets" Thunderhead, I guess. To me, from the front seat, it's a great mix of good speed, nice pops of air, and good laterals. Still top 5 material for me, anyway. There be much more to come later. Ya'll hang tight, ya hear? I'll leave you with several random shots before lunchtime, and the continuation of Mullet Watch '08. Because it leads you directly to Tennessee Tornado. "Say, how's it we keep this here thing so dadgum smooth?" "Beats me, Darlin'?!" Mmmmm, connecting walkway, I think I love you. SCORE!!!! The single greatest walkway in the history of theme park walkways! *This* is what really matters for Dollywood in '08. Wooohoo! Oh yeah, and the area around here is really large. Also "New for '08." Looks nice, but these types of things aren't my cup of tea. Moving right along.... Then it was time to walk past the secondary "New for '08" attraction. Okay, I did stop to take a couple pics for you guys. Here's hoping this look doesn't catch on nationwide. First food item of the day.....pizza-filled pretzel. Mmmmmmm. Attention Dollywood staff. If this is your desk, please return to it immediately. Sure, our stop by the first aid station was only because we couldn't find anywhere else that sold packets of Ibuprofen, but had we been there for something much worse and far more important, it would help to see someone IN THE OFFICE! Seriously, the entire office was vacant. Only knock I've ever had against this place. "I'm gonna git me sum of dat der spittin' beaver!" "Okay, that's just crazy talk, Mr. Vulture. I have no idea what he's talking about. Just looks like a boring ride that they wasted their money on to me." ...and a spitting beaver... ....a warning sign.... Okay, there's a huge wooden pole.... "Wait, what's that?....Have I seen Sexual Innuendo: The Ride?....It's just across the way...okay, I'll check it out." Mystery Mine locker POV!!!!! I sat in the second row, far right this time around. Overall, it was a bit smoother than last year's ride. If you can avoid the family jewels being destroyed, you can enjoy the ride from this seat much better, in my opinion anyway. German for nutcruncher. Seriously, if I find the guy responsible for adding that stupid extra piece to these restraint, God help him!! (shaking fist offscreen) The trains. Yep. Block Brakes!!! Woohoo!! Mystery Mine. We waited about 35 minutes in a line that should've been no longer than 10-15. Seriously, this ride breaks down more than a crack addict at an intervention. 89.95 Degrees!! I went out my way to measure it before the park opened. I think the last minor earthquake in the region knocked it off a bit. My ride wasn't so bad this time around. Okay, all except for one certain issue I'll address soon. Purty, ya'll. #1. Okay, we're starting slow, but bear with me...they only get better from here. I promise. Um, picture spot. Station fly-by!! Cmon, look excited. Words to live by. 10 minute Thunderhead waits make me happy. If you don't head this way first, then you're doing it wrong. There will be many pics that simply show off the park. No captions needed. If you're feeling creative, feel free to add your own. Season passholders get the added bonus of entering through the giftshop. Me too.
kraken613 Posted June 6, 2008 Posted June 6, 2008 Did you take a picture of the new cameras on the trains of Tennessee Tornado? I dont know if I took one last week. Are they on more than 3 cars on the trains now?
coasterdude5 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Crown Park Resort killed Gatlinburg's Outback! Haha, we stay down the street at the Holiday Inn and it was always the closest place to eat at. The random slide at Ober was pretty fun actually, alot better than the blue one. I'm not Mystery Mine's biggest fan, you sorta gotta learn how to hold yourself when you're riding it. Great trip report.
mightypotato Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 This game should always be USA vs. Russia. Up here in the Great White North, its usually Canada vs. USSR. That is, when you can find one of these gems.
Mechanic Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Gas-powered chain saw / high gas prices. Get it now? It struck me the moment I looked at the picture. I don't consider myself reasonably intelligent (Because if I was, I'd have surely made my fortune by now, eh?), so maybe it was contrived to appeal to those as ignorant as me, hence why I got it right away. Liking the TR so far, and looking forward to more pictures.
307 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Gas-powered chain saw / high gas prices. Get it now? It struck me the moment I looked at the picture. I don't consider myself reasonably intelligent (Because if I was, I'd have surely made my fortune by now, eh?), so maybe it was contrived to appeal to those as ignorant as me, hence why I got it right away. Liking the TR so far, and looking forward to more pictures. Psht, beat you to it!
Erik Johnson Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 The joke behind the Ripley poster is that the Chainsaw Maniac does not care how much gas prices are to keep his chainsaw going. Maniac killers do not cut back on the stuff they need in order to get the job done, no matter how expensive the price is.
RIP Psyclone Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Scott TRs are always the s***. The best. Oh, doesn't that peanut butter fudge look like Swiss cheese?
tnguy Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Awesome so far! It was cool to see Gatlinburg pictures I've spent a lot of time up there.(I still see airbrush t-shirts, fudge, and confederate flags in my sleep.) Oh and I'm always on the lookout for mullets whenever I'm at Dollywood.
TheRapidsNerd Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 That first pic had me howling with laughter! Had to say awesome and will now go back and read the rest. Damn that was funny!!!
sfne2005 Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 This TR is missing a pic of Big Mike. Big Mike with a mullet would rock!!
TheRapidsNerd Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Ok, all caught up, and another winner of a TR. Smokey Mountain River Rampage > Mild, er...Wild River Gorge.
nay Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Hilarious and awesome TR. I can't wait to see the continuation of Mullet Watch '08.
Swimace Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 Wait a second.... am I to understand you passed up Alabama Adventures for Dollywood?!?! haha, your Photo TR's are awesome Scott.
shepp Posted June 7, 2008 Posted June 7, 2008 So, um, the mullets aren't intended to be ironic? Some kind of postmodern fashion statement? Guess achy-breaky not. Fun TR.
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