Worst Movies You Have Seen

[Houston Thrills]

I guess I'm the only one that is going to admit to this.

 

I saw about 5 minutes of what is truly the most horrible movie ever made. The 5 minutes that I saw will haunt me forever.

Horrible....just horrible...I would rather watch Paul Ruben all day than watch this film in its entirety.

[Kroger8]

^HAHA the forgotten movie!, starring Sideshow Bob...errr Justin Guarini and Kelly Clarkson. She sang in Clemson, SC last night, a couple of miles down the road from me.

I'd have to say the worst movie EVER is Jonathan Livingston Seagull!

 

It's like HEY! lets make a movie about a seagull thats tired of doing the normal seagull stuff and goes out and tries to fly different ways! Everyone will come!!

 

I mean COME ON!?!? A gosh-awful movie!

[crispy]

The worst movie ever was not released this past year.

 

The worst movie I ever saw, and I MADE myself sit through it was

 

Pluto Nash, Starring, and I use that term lightly, Eddie Murphy

 

 

Every Aspect of that movie sucked, HARD!!!

 

Here's a portion of the review in the New York Post

 

EDDIE MURPHY IS LOST IN SPACE

By LOU LUMENICK August 16, 2002 -- THE ADVENTURES OF PLUTO NASH

Zero stars

Who let this dog out?

Running time: 90 minutes. Rated PG-13 (violence, sexually suggestive language). At the E-Walk, the Chelsea West, the Union Square, others.

 

THE Adventures of Pluto Nash" - the Eddie Murphy outer-space comedy Warner Bros. has finally unleashed without advance critics' screenings after two years on the shelf - is so unremittingly awful that labeling it a dog probably constitutes cruelty to canines.

 

It isn't even bad in a way that could be remotely construed as entertaining, unless your idea of fun is counting lapses in continuity and scenes where the actors' lip movements don't match the dialogue.

 

Watching it is like watching 90 minutes of outtakes - deleted scenes randomly assembled by a drunken night watchman at the studio.

 

The script, attributed to Neil Cuthbert ("Mystery Man"), is beyond stupid - so underdeveloped it feels as if they'd shot the first draft by mistake.

 

 

Was it that bad, in a word

 

worse

[Homer]

The Hulk- one of the most disappointing movies I was hyped for.

 

Napoleon Dynamite- The sucked so bad its good movie. The reason I liked it was because everybody else liked it (such a conformist...)

 

Dr. Dolittle 2- nuff said

 

Movies I knew were going to be bad from the previews:

 

That Christmas movie that starred Ben Stiller that was released in October... smart move whoever made that movie

 

Garfield (Need I bring up the Maddox article?)

 

Yu-Gi-Oh! The Movie (Only 10 year olds like this, other than that, like criticis said, one 90 minute long advertisement)

 

Son of the Mask

[RtherBOnACoaster]

Another one for me is The Grudge. I just couldent get into it because it was too fake for me. I know that a lot of people liked that movie though. So since I walked after the first 30 minutes, I think I might watch it again if I ever can.

[Ghost]

The Hulk- one of the most disappointing movies I was hyped for.

 

The rest of your list I will agry on but the HULK was up to date the best comic film made so far. Although the X-Men and Spider-Man is more liked by many (and yes I can enjoy them too), Hulk is the only one that gives it a comic book hero feeling.

 

Ask those comic geeks (and yes I am one of them with a collection of 9000 US comics) and you will see that most of them will love what Ang Lee has done with the HULK...

 

Bad movie, and to keep it into the comics. The Punisher! Like so many times people say "the book is better", in case of the PUNISHER, the comics are better....

 

Comic book Punisher is a BAD M....

Movie Punisher is a whimp...

 

At the end of the day however it is all about personal taste of course...

[Sir Clinksalot]

I understand how folks can bash things like Team America or Napoleon Dynamite, but I have a hard time following along. Those are cases where people made exactly the movie they wanted to make, and I think that should be commended, even if the subject matter's not to your taste.

 

When you want to talk about BAD movies, however, I think those are the ones where everything about it screamed "this is going to be great," then falls flat on its ass and sucks.

 

I think a great example of that would be "Alien vs. Predator." They had a great concept with two great creatures from two great franchises. They have a decent sized budget. They had a few good scripts (check around online and you'll find some great AvP early drafts, mostly based off the Dark Horse comics).

 

But somehow they took everything that was good about the alien and predator films and screwed them all up. Characters were less then cyphers (sure the Colonial Marines from Aliens were one note characters, but their one characteristic would be something you could relate to and understand). In addition to being personality free, they were incredibly idiotic (oh, except when they had to make major expositional leaps to hold the script together!). Oh, and they forgot that the movie was called ALIEN vs. PREDATOR. There was all of - what, two fight sequences between the two species? The rest was just a bad actress bonding with a predator.

 

Awful film that managed to kill off not one but TWO major Fox franchises.

 

Awful movies that are straight to tape just aren't offensive enough to me to warrant getting worked up. It's when they screw something good up that I get angry.

[SharkTums]

^Actually, I liked Alien Vs. Predator much more than Napoleon Dynamite or Team America!!! At least it was entertaining! As for killing off the franchises, I seriously doubt that!

 

Elissa "a bad movie is just a movie you thought was bad!" Alvey

[Wes]

^^ See, I don't believe that. Here's my opinion, take it for what it's worth:

There's no way that a good film maker approaches something thinking "Oh, I'm gonna make it suck, but I'll stick to my vision of suckiness, and I'll be rewarded because at least I was persistant!" That's BS. Film is far too costly and labor intensive for people to think that. Especially with something like Napoleon Dynamite, where it was indie and self-produced. They racked up huge credit card bills so they could make a movie they knew was SO bad? BS. No, I'm sure those guys thought they were being extremely clever by removing any semblace of a plot, creating aggravating characters, passing it through a Wes Anderson/Todd Solondz rip-off filter, and coming out with that product. I've been through film school, and I've sat through at least 20 Napoleon Dynamites, (and this was before the movie ever came out). You go into a script writing class and the teacher says "Here's the rules of a three act screenplay" and there's always that one obnoxious kid who thinks he's above the system and wants to write a film without three acts, or character arc, or motivating drive. And the results are always 100% SH!T.

The only reason the film got as huge as it did was the fact MTV is a marketing genius. They sensed there was a rise in the "indie" arts culture, and they knew there was a groundswell of popularity for movies that were "so not hip, they're hip" way. As anyone part of that scene knows, the more obscure and random your favorite band/movie/t-shirt/whatever, the cooler you seem. They created a "cult classic" before it even was released by screening the movie for free in tons of cities, giving away free stuff at indie oriented events. Kids jumped on that shit like a fat woman in a cake store. Word of mouth grew and grew, and soon everyone wanted on the ND bandwagon. From all the advance buzz, I thought the movie was going to be great. Boy, was I in for a shock when I sat through a two hour version of the same movies I had to watch at the end of each semester.

See, I said I wasn't going to write about it but now I've written like an essay on it...arg.

[SharkTums]

^I knew there was a reason I liked you!

 

Elissa "um, what he said!" Alvey

[Stitch]

Mulchpuppy I agree with you whole heartedly, I am a huge fan of Alien and Predator, I own all of the movies (Including the morose Alien Ressurection). I was very psyched that AvP was being made and had high hopes but was highly let down. Paul W.S. Anderson has great ideas but just doesn't pull them off (Resident Evil suffered the same fate) he has too many fast cuts making the action hard to see, his editing work is atrocious making the film skip and hard to follow and generally leaves out the fundimentals in his movies using pre made characters (Mortal Combat, Resident Evil and AvP). In his defense 20th century fox screwed his film over by editing it even more to get it to be Pg-13 but it wasn't a good movie before their edits. AvP suffered from no gore (All scenes were cut away right before the gore happens), story contradictions (Predators hunting in a pack, not bringing all their weapons with them and having a rescue ship. The Aliens were given a fast life cycle and there were more Aliens then hosts) some of these contradictions were made due to 20th Century Fox's edits but most were Paul's doing. The Predators voices were done with lion roars and not the origonal sound effects, also if the Predators were hunting the ultimate prey (Alien) then why were the Predators hunting humans in 1 and 2. The story had no developement, it went from "We brought you all here" to everyone dies except four humans. The fights were terrible, how could one Alien take out two Predators in one fowl swoop ... come on. In the end it was terribly predictable that the Predator had an Alien in him and why didn't the Predators check him first (Since they had the vision that could see aliens, IE the scene where he looks in the Italian guy's chest and see the chest burster) and also, even if the Predalien was to kill one or two Predators it wouldn't live long, it was on a ship full of Predators. Ugh, I hate Alien Vs. Predator so much

[Movieguy]

You go into a script writing class and the teacher says "Here's the rules of a three act screenplay" and there's always that one obnoxious kid who thinks he's above the system and wants to write a film without three acts, or character arc, or motivating drive. And the results are always 100% SH!T.

.

 

Does this mean you include Quentin Tarantino and "Pulp Fiction" in that category, because he tried to break the rules too? That's one of my all time favorite films, though I don't care much for his previous film, Resevoir Dogs.

 

I will agree with you about Napoleon Dynamite though. Both my sister and I thought it was just stupid, and devoid of any entertainment value.

 

Though, I don't think messing with "the system" is neccesarily a bad thing. I may not have liked stuff like Napoleon Dynamite, but I was able to endure that and find good stuff like Pulp Fiction, because films like that are from talented filmmakers who make the kind of stuff that feels right to them, instead of following some system to make a series of predictable formulaic movies that are made simply for the first weekend box office numbers, and later for the DVD release.

 

I'm basically saying that I don't agree with your theory that anything that's different from what you're taught in film school is automatically 100% shit.

[Wes]

^ No, QT did not break the "rules". He did what any great film maker can do, he bent them to make it seem like he wasn't following along when he really was. Believe me, films like Pulp Fiction get brought up when a teacher is discussing structure and such. You don't necessarily need a classic three-act, but you do need to have conflict (every story in Pulp Fiction does) and character motivation. What I'm talking about are student films who knowingly don't include any story or interesting characters or reason to care. 20 minutes of walking through a park for no reason is not a good movie, even if the angles are interesting. 20 minutes of an annoying SNL-type character doing a funny voice and acting stupid is not a good movie. Movies are visual storytelling, and if there's no story to tell, then what's the point?

[Sir Clinksalot]

Wes, I'll take back what I said On Napoleopn Dynamite - I never saw what the big deal about it was, so I never bothered watching it. Maybe lumping it with Team America was a poor judgement on my part (I stick with my argument for Team America, however, because there's no argument that Parker and Stone did exactly what they wanted to do (well, not counting the money shot that got cut out).

 

My initial thought wasn't based on the premise that filmmakers go out of their way and plan to make a bad movie. Anyone doing that should be taken out back and beaten. I was just trying to make a low budget indy exclusion clause, since independent films tend to get a lot of flack for being precisely NOT what people expect out of their big budgeted whatevers.

 

I'll also agree with Wes that there was a three act structure in Pulp Fiction, just as there were strong character arcs. QT just doesn't like telling stuff in sequential order, a trait that everyone's going to get ultra-sick of eventually.

 

But I still maintain that the truly bad movies are the one's where everything should of clicked but didn't.

 

(quick confession - I liked the Resident Evil movies. I blame Milla)

[Movieguy]

Ok Wes, thanks for clearing that up. I just didn't fully understand what you were saying.

 

And i agree with you 100% about those student film types. Whenever I think of those kinds of structureless films, I always think of that scene from a Family Guy episode where the anchorwoman was talking about her acting in one, which was basically a weird montage of her laying around on a table, as a clown with a frying pan flipped a pancake.

[Jonathan]

I <3 Wes

[Wes]

I <3 you too, even if you do like The Arcade Fire and "Make Believe".

[Jonathan]

Everyone's got their guilty pleasures (referring to Make Believe. No guilt in Arcade Fire ).

 

Anywho, back on topic, so how bout that new XXX movie?

[FlyingScooter]

I don't think it'll work w/out Vin.

[Zingo!]

Probably not a popular opinion:

 

The Matrix

 

I expected something thought-provoking, and got some Hollywood crap.

[Twister II]

Lord of the Rings 1/2/3

 

Harry Potter

[Zoltan_Kodaly]

I actually sat through all of From Justin to Kelly, and it was on par of a night of heavy drinking - my friends and I felt like we had a huge hangover. However, I would gladly watch that film repeatedly instead of having to ever again sit through:

 

Gladiator

Sugar (ugh. just, ugh.)

Tomcats

Harold and Kumar

Van Wilder

Spider-man

 

 

Of course, there's a few films so bad that they went beyond good and back to bad again, and yet I still love them, such as:

Rock'n'Roll Nightmare

The Stupids

Dreamcatcher

 

Oh, and the #1 thing I never want to hear anyone say to me again because every single time someone says it I become so infuriated beyond all reason:

"Oh, I didn't really like the movie that much. The book was so much better."

[X]

The Village is definitly the worst move I've seen.

It turns out the monster was only someone in a costume.

How Stupid! What a Ripoff

Kevin"I could make that movie at my house!"Bujold

[Movieguy]

I never even saw the Village, and I was still able to guess what the twist to the whole story was. Think about it...M. Night Shamylan is from Pennsylvania...what's one of Pennsylvania's defining features?...The Amish.

 

Just goes to show you once again that Shamylan's nothing more than a one-trick pony. Though I always thought Unbreakable was a better movie than most others thought it was.

[Meteornotes]

^Unbreakable goddamn owns! Best thing he's ever done. And it confused the hell out of everyone in the theater when we saw it, which just further proved that most people cannot pay attention to anything.

 

That "From Justin To Kelly" movie looks like something we'd watch on HBO and just rip it to shreads and laugh our asses off in the process. I love really bad movies that are funny. The best one we've seen recently was "Volcano" which taught us stuff like lava can be contained by those cement dividers they use during road construction, and that you can stand right next to one where there's boiling lava on the otherside and not really feel the heat or anything...

 

dt