Electerik

One of the weird things about this hobby is how very difficult it is to get the same experience as someone else. If we were all super-into movies, for example, even if maybe I saw it in a better theater than you did, we still basically saw the same movie. Of course we might have different reactions to it, but we wouldn't have to figure out which day the other person saw it on, what year, where they started, where they ate, what row they sat in, which employees they encountered, how the projector was running that day, their weight, height, and age, and a million other variables. We could just say, "Oh, you like different movies than I do." (And then we could have a knife fight about it.) But I've had vastly different enjoyment levels myself at the same park on different visits, and I'm sure most of you all have too. So how do you know the next one won't be better? Of course, I'm not advocating repeated visits to a park you hate. But I've personally never been to a park that was so bad that it couldn't possibly improve.

I did notice that! I nearly commented on it, too. You brought it up, sir. You brought it up.

Oh, there will be complaining! But not much in this update, as this place was quite good. Denver Zoo Yes, it's another hot and smoky Denver day and we're ready to walk around outside! I don't think I've ever seen or heard a lion roar at a zoo, but that's exactly what we were greeted with at what Smisty has now declared to be her second favorite zoo. This zoo has an Animal Hospital in it, and you can watch live surgeries! Wait, that's kind of weird actually. I just found out that I don't know how to spell "Rhinoceros." I can spell "flowers" though, so have a look at these flowers. No animals in this photo (I don't think?) but it is a good example of how nice this zoo can be. Of course, in my experience, most zoos are a mix of really nice new areas and older crappier-looking ones. That's just how it is. This one is mostly pretty nice. Toucan Sam is the cartoon toucan mascot for Froot Loops breakfast cereal. The character has been featured in advertising since 1963. He exhibits the ability to smell Froot Loops from great distances and invariably locates a concealed bowl of the cereal while intoning, "Follow your nose! The Denver Zoo claims to be doing away with maps due to Covid, but this is clearly a map. In other news, it's interesting how places in Denver only do things "because of Covid" that result in monetary savings. Most decent zoos have a carousel... ...and quite a few have train rides. Their website says that the train is open from 10:00am to 6:00pm daily, but does not mention anything about it shutting down from 1:30pm to 3:30pm "for lunch" as it did during our visit. This, combined with our lack of psychic powers, resulted in our not being able to ride it. So that's a shame. But, also, it's a train ride. We'll get over it. (Still qualifies as a "Denver Disappointment" though!) On the other hand, Dole Whip! The Denver Zoo features many exotic animals, such as this squirrel. Only one aviary, and it was small, but good. Actually, there's a building labeled "World of Birds" that is currently under construction/refurbishment, so maybe there's normally more...? No wonder they're endangered. Snaked-headed Crap Turtles I want the job of naming new animal species. What do I bring to the table? I don't despise animals. Whoever is doing it now is just clearly burnt out. "YOU'RE A STUPID SH*T BIRD!" Light-Green Weakass Snake Rather than show you a photo of actual sea lions, I've opted to show you this statue, with the underwater sea lion viewing area way in the background. Because I'm in charge here and you get what I give you. I've seen tiger bridges. Heck, this zoo even has one. But I've never before seen an elephant bridge. Hey man, what would it take to get you to walk over that bridge so that I can take a photo of it? Do you want a fish or something? I have been informed that elephants do not eat fish. And that also that this is probably a lady elephant. But is gender really that important? And maybe they would like fish if they tried it. In other news, I am no longer allowed at the zoo. I can still take a photo of the gift shop, though, because technically it's outside of the zoo--which I thought was interesting. No? Just me? Fine. How many zoos have we been to now? I think this makes 14 (not counting things like BGT or DAK). (Spoiler: By the end of this TR, it will be 15. Pretend to be excited!)

Thanks. I wondered if that might be the case. But what was where the carousel is now?

Hello! Like a lot of folks, Erik & Smisty haven't traveled a lot since 2019. So, a few months back, on the theory that as vaccines rolled out, built-up desire for leisure travel would result in booked up airlines and expensive flights, we sort of speculatively bought tickets for an August trip to Denver. Well, my theories didn't quite pan out, but it didn't seem so bad that we should cancel the trip or anything. And we still had fun. But, as the title suggests, there were some let downs. But, actually, not so much because of Covid. Because of climate change. Speaking of disappointment... Elitch Gardens Okay, to be fair, even though we'd never been to this park, Denver, or even the state of Colorado, we knew exactly what to expect from Elitch Gardens. It's reputation suggests that it's one of the worst parks in the country. And...it's not great. But we knew that going in, so with lowered expectations we still had a good time at what was, after all, a new-to-us amusement park. The following attractions will not be operating today. As well as a bunch of other attractions not listed on this sign. Note also that this includes both of the park's water rides during a heatwave in early August. I did enjoy the covered mini main street entrance. I think there's a lot to be said for this design. Actually, that brings up one of the most interesting things about Elitch, as this is a park that completely relocated back in 1995. So, sure, that was 26 years ago--but, still, this place is an answer to the question: What if you were redesigning an existing theme park from scratch? What would you do differently? How would you rearrange the rides that you already had? And viewed through that lens, everything about the layout of this park, good and bad, is absolutely fascinating to me. After the mini main street (or, er, teeny tiny CityWalk?) there's a carousel and the ghost of an observation tower on the right... ...the entrance to the included water park straight ahead (which includes this baffling sign)... ...and a second, uncovered "main street" leading to the park proper. We entered the park midday, and headed for the Ferris wheel, only to have unexpected lightning move into the area while we were in line. So, off we went to the park's only dark ride. This is an interesting set up. It's sort of a covered midway that connects what would otherwise be two dead ends, and contains the entrance to the dark ride, a gift shop, some vending and game machines, and a small food stand. Also there's an SLC in this photo. If you don't know already, model coasters are very much Elitch's thing. The nice thing about Denver is that Covid isn't a thing there. Apparently. I joke, but it's not lost on me that I may be part of the problem. I mean, we are fully vaccinated, but still, should we have done any of this stuff? Traveling right now is weird. Not as weird as this dark ride, though. (How's that for neck-snapping transition?) Well, you can't take pictures inside, but here's the animatronic robot barker and a ride vehicle for Meow Wolf's Kaleidoscape, a Scooby-Doo Ghostblasters dark ride rethemed to...um, interdimensional travel via splitting doughnut eggs or something? It's low-budget psychedelic weirdness and I am here for it. By which I mean, I primarily came to Elitch Gardens for this weird-ass dark ride. and it was almost worth it. Elitch has some nicely themed buildings that reminded me just a bit of Frontier City. The "one big food court" building probably helped with that impression, also. Not one ride in this photo was open this day. Not one ride in this photo was on the closed sign out front. In fact, the observation tower has apparently not been open for multiple years now, which I can find no kinder word for than "offensive." Luckily, I already knew that going in, or I would've been quite upset. (What can I say? I know myself.) The games were all open. When Elitch says something isn't opening today, they are serious. I couldn't think of a good caption for this weird sign, so I googled "wears like a pig's nose" only discover that this was probably a real sign (or at least a copy of a real sign) as Finks really did make overalls and used both of these slogans. Brain Drain did run that day, though it was down for lightning at the time this photo was taken. I can't blame the park for lightning, though. Seems like they handled that about as well as they could've. (And, as someone who's worked in rides at several different parks, including ones in Florida, this is a subject I know a tiny bit about.) I want to say this was the first Half Pipe...? The park doesn't really invest in new rides anymore, though--and I don't think that's going to change any time soon, since the land it sits on has already been sold. Will Elitch Gardens move again, or just close for good this time? And does anyone care? Actually, I think Denverites care. We talked to a few fellow park-goers (there was a lot of lightning) who seemed to really love the place. I guess the most important thing about a theme park is its location. Because this place would be absolutely buried by any kind of competent competition. I can't imagine it surviving long in the same market as, say, a Cedar Fair park. Elitch has one non-model coaster: Twister II. "Built wilder the second time," is its slogan, and while I never got to ride the original Mr. Twister, I can only imagine that's a lie to shake the heavens. Having said that, Twister II wasn't bad. I mean, there was no airtime or anything, but it was fast and fun and not too rough for a 26-year wooden coaster at a park that can't even keep track which rides are temporally closed, which rides are closed for the day, and which rides are completely abandoned. It's quite an attractive ride. Actually, most of the park *looks* pretty good, and is well upkept in terms of paint and such. But yeah, Twister II's lines are very appealing. I'm not saying that I want to have sex with a roller coaster. That's not what I'm saying. And even if I hypothetically did, looks aren't everything, you know. Emotional attachment is important. Shared interests. A better park to have it in, maybe. Besides, Lech Coaster has my heart, currently. This kiddie ride had a nice theme. One thing worth noting is that most of the kids rides didn't have queue, nor did the carousel. Just entrance and exit gates and maybe three pair of foot prints to indicate where you should start lining up. A bit unstructured for my taste, but an interesting choice. I also think that the blue arch in the background is a perfect encapsulation of this park. The front of it says "Kiddy Land," which it is the entrance to. But the back is just blank, even though that's also the exit. It just says nothing. Not goodbye, thanks for visiting, now leaving kiddy land, buy a season pass, nothing. It's like they couldn't immediately decide what it should say, so they just gave up forever. We tried again to get on the Ferris wheel, but again lightning came while we were in line. And again, the park is not unattractive. Not that anyone is suggesting sleeping with it. Geez, would you stop that already? The park's main gift shop is themed to a carousel building. So that's arousing. What? If you look closely, you can see that this awful shirt is actually three different awful shirts. And, what's more, they don't say Busch Gardens on them! The entirety of Elitch's covid response is not allowing returns. I feel so much safer. Is this a good time to mention that Denver was enveloped in smoke from Oregon and California wildfires the entire time we were there? I mean, that's not Denver's fault, but if I sound a little gruff it's only because I was smoking the equivalent of two cigarettes a day and I've never smoked before. Anyway, Elitch Gardens has potential. But it's potential that this version of the park will almost certainly never reach. Still, I'm glad we visited. Stay tuned for more complaining, coming soon-ish-ly!

Yes, I'm sure it is. But that doesn't stop me from reading it wrong! This reminds me of a joke I made up and that is only funny to me: Q: What's the hardest name to spell? A: Eric

I want to say that a space-themed restaurant was part of the original plans for what became Mission: Space, and I always lamented its axing. Nice to see it finally happening! The "220" bit really confuses my brain, though, which keeps trying to read it as "2020."

Just a couple of quick notes on GhostRider: The mid-course block brake has always been there. But note that there is a difference between a MCBB and a trim brake--although a MCBB can also be used as a trim brake if a park wishes. No shirts/jackets tied around the waist was policy on GhostRider when it opened, the concern being loose hanging cloth getting caught up in the train wheels.

I rather like the Knott's Hotel. Admittedly, it's been two or three years. But I always liked that it was just a nice most;y-regular hotel right there on property. Maybe I'm just low class.

I guess you could make almost anything a first if you sub-categorize it enough. But the first thing I thought of was the original two modern looping coasters, Corkscrew at Knott's Berry Farm and Revolution at (not Six Flags) Magic Mountain. Being old helps in this case.

Sadly, I've just realized that this also means that the farthest-from-my-home dark ride I've ridden is Energylandia's Monster Attack, which really challenges my long-held belief that there is no such thing as a bad dark ride.

5,331 miles from Seattle to Krakow for Hyperion.

Mike 'N' Terry's Outdoor Fun Park We like mini golf. A lot. You may already know that. We like big corporate mini golf, and we like "guy built this in his backyard out of whatever he had lying around" mini golf. This is that second one. And it's amazing. Mike 'N' Terry's also has a go-kart track and some batting cages, which seem normal enough. (I guess?) But we're here for The Putting Zoo, two truly deranged mini golf courses that I'm still not sure I didn't just imagine. But be warned: "For visiting Mike 'N' Terry's, we would like to make you aware that by entering our facility you acknowledge that you are doing so at your own risk, that we assume no responsibility whatsoever for any and all kinds of injuries you may sustain while on our premises. Please exercise caution." It's cash only (of course). $8.50 per adult, with the second round being half price. Although, if you're reading this in the future, the price may be higher. Or the place may be closed. Or we might all be dead. (Although, if we're all dead and you're reading this...um.... I dunno. Now I'm thinking about what kind of currency ghosts might use.) Ah, the Water Course. Featuring just as much water and the exact same number of obstacles as the Obstacle Course. The thing is, though, even though it's cracky, it's also pretty good (even if a lot of the fairways are rather uneven). Aren't homemade horrors better than paying for some existing IP? Yes, yes they are. How ambitious is this mini golf course? This isn't hole 18 or something, this is like, hole 5. I can't see my ball. Guess it must've been a hole-in-one. You're probably not going to hit it into that hole. But don't worry: as long as you can make it over the rolled-up end bit, the river will carry your ball down to the green. Nothing here is ADA accessible. Cryptocurrency! That's what ghosts use. I just figure it out. Is this course great? Yes. Is the other one better? Let's find out! Hole #19 for both courses. Hit it into the cartoon rabbit's facial wound for a free round! We are both masters of mini golf. Those are the batting cages on the right. Sorry, don't care. They were more popular than the mini golf while we were there, though, so I'm glad they're keeping the place in business. The front side is exactly as steep. We called this "the hit yourself in the face with your own ball" hole. Speaking of holes, there's a hole at the top center of that ramp, beneath the rock. And, if you hit it in there, you get to take 5 strokes off your total score for the course. I'm reasonable sure it's impossible, though. Just keeping it up and over the ramp without braining yourself was hard enough. Yes, the horseshoes move up and down. (I mean, obviously. It's plugged in.) It's worth mentioning--worth emphasizing even--that everything worked on these courses--even the things that look like they probably break down twice a day. Mike takes pride in his insanity. Speaking of which...that circle of green turns. 40 Mini Golf Spin.mp4 Look, I don't normally post videos. But for this update, I'm posting two. Because y'all need to understand. I know, everything looks disappointing after that. But stick around. It gets better. There are koi fish in that boat. And let me tell you, they are living their best life. Nothing here is ADA accessible. But at least it's LGBT-friendly. It's just...I love this place so much. Wait, what? 50 Maxi Golf Spin.mp4 This can't be real. Also, before you ask, there's no posted weight limit. And also, screw you for asking. Oh, right, there's a go-kart track. I probably should've taken a photo of that for completion's sake. Well, actually, I did. But this sign was more interesting, so that's what you got. Mike 'N' Terry's can be found in a random residential neighborhood in Puyallup, Washington. It is highly Erik & Smisty approved.

Lockdown Since we couldn't go anywhere anyway, we got a dog. He also wants to go outside.

Ooh, I want to play! My guess is Silver Dollar City. (I'm unlikely to be right--but if I am, I'll look like a genius!)

In fact, the owners of said place are the members of In Flames. So there you go.

I did not know about the hill across the highway. Even though all I brought camera-wise was my phone, I would've liked to see that--if for no other reason than just to get a bit more of the flavor of the area. Then again, I'm not sure where the time or energy for me to do that would've come from, as the heat and lack of sleep from the previous day really kicked my butt that day. I'm just not sure about Liseberg. Certainly, there's a lot to like. But a lot of its attractions didn't really hit for me--or maybe nothing was ever going to work for me that particular day. Tough to say. Guess I need to go back!

Wait, the cups on the Ferris wheel spin? We didn't make it onto "Legendia Flower" as the line looked fairly long when we were on that side of the park and I was worried about time. And only now do I find this out...?! I liked Hyperion more than most, I would say, but Lech is the real deal. It just kind of does everything. Just a really neat park.

I also really enjoyed Hyperion, despite the rattling. We rode big rapids ride, which was incredibly dull. We didn't even see the smaller one, but were told by someone (Gearhart? Goldballs?) that it was better. Had a good time at the park, but it is weird. Speed: The Ride was stupid and bad and it should feel bad. While I wish it had been open for everyone else's sake, I was kind of glad that Zardoz wasn't ready yet, because I'm sure I would've ended up having to ride it once.

While it was my least favorite park of the trip, I'd still be willing to go back. And, sure, I guess that "perks" might've helped, but I think a bigger problem was that it was incredibly hot in a country that doesn't normally have to worry about that sort of thing. Still, most of the people I talked to had a good time there. And I'm glad I saw it.

This TR is super interesting and informative. Thank you. I guess it's been a while since I was at IOA, because I had no idea that Sinbad was closed or that Green Eggs & Ham was all tater tots now.

I loved Drievliet. Was it objectively the best park on the trip? No, of course not. But it was a lot of fun, and I would be very happy to spend more time there. Small? Sure, but that didn't bother me because there was lots to do. A few other random thoughts from the Esty and Smirik camp: We're all over that first section of your trip report, which is weird because we tend to be where everyone else isn't. Speaking of which, we're also in that overview photo of the tractor ride at the beginning of the second section! I might very well have been the biggest fan of Kopermijn in our group. Which just serves to to once again demonstrate how unpredictable my tastes can be. But I don't mind getting LoCoSuMo-ed, as long as I'm not overly restrained (and remember that a lot of restraints fit me oddly) and I'm not being hit in the head. That was a good theory on why Twistrix is themed to owls, and one could do worse than repeatedly listening to Fly By Night, but I was thinking of an even simpler explanation: Owls swivel their heads, and the cars are meant to look like owl heads. I kept the Andrews straight by calling one Goldballs and then just being confused the rest of the time.

Well, that caption would not stand up in court, as your alleged statement came to me second-hand via Gearhart.

Sitting at home listening to my 2-disc Efteling Soundtrack. Just reread my own trip report and don't remember writing half of these captions. But very happy that we went to Europe before the world fell apart. Here's a random, never-before-seen photo from each of the three countries we spent the most time in. The Netherlands This is what we look like outside without masks on. This was considered normal at the time. Poland In no way could this ever be considered normal. Sweden How did this photo not make it into the original report?