Electerik

Nutcracker!

Maybe being able to ride the monorail would've helped me figure it out.

Electerik Hershey Oddventure September 25 - 29, 2025 Part 2 of 2: Special Dark Inside the gates. Is Candymonium the best name for a roller coaster ever? Yes. If you disagree and insist that it is in fact Thunder Dolphin, I can respect that. Any other answer will simply be dismissed as wrong. Unless there’s a really good one I haven’t thought of. Because I like my egomaniacal certainty lightly dusted with crippling self-doubt. Look who I ran into! Totally unplanned. But it’s said that if one lingers around long enough trying to get a good photo of a roller coaster, eventually AJ will appear. Okay, let’s get nerdy: I absolutely loved Candymonium. It reminds me a lot of Mako, which was my favorite B&M hyper, but this one is better. I’m not sure anything on Candymonium is quite as good as Mako’s third hill, but this one’s second hill is close, I like this layout more, and most importantly, while they both have noticeable trim brakes, Candymonium’s are far less ruinous to the second half of the ride than Mako’s are. The Starbucks really makes me feel like I’m at home. (In the sense that I didn’t go in and I don’t go to them here in Seattle either.) So, Candymonium doesn’t have a midcourse block brake. But really it does, it’s just weirdly at the end of the ride, right before this pointless little transitional dip over the midway and into the brake run. Except, the thing is, on paper, while this looks pretty silly, it kind of won me over. I mean, it’s not particularly forceful. But it’s visually-interesting and acts as a sort of false ending to the general public--who react like the ride is legitimately over and then scream when it isn’t quite. It’s kind of fun. Speaking of screaming, I have a fun story. But this caption is already long enough, so I’ll save it for the next photo of Candymonium. Here we have left Chocolate Town and entered the wilds of Hersheypark, where we find this statue of some guy. dooperdooperLooper is sort of the sister coaster to Magic Mountain’s Revolution. The little sister. The less attractive, less talented, less successful one. Which is not to say that it’s bad. It’s not. It just doesn’t do a whole lot, especially when compared to other Schwarzkopfs of this type. Even the visual placement of its loop is “lesser” than that of Revolution. Still fun, though. Glad it’s still around and that I got to ride it a couple of times. Interestingly enough, my first ride was a zen front seat night ride, as it had just come up from a short downtime and the few other guests in the area hadn’t quite caught on yet that it was open again. (Of course, the fact that they closed and reopened the queue by putting up and taking down a simple chain at the front entrance, with no signage and no team members posted, did make it a bit hard to suss out.) Onto the next old school family coaster, Trailblazer. Unlike most Arrow Mine Trains, this one has just one relatively-large lift hill, and then a fairly short layout. But like most Arrow Mine Trains, it manages to be both smooth and janky at the same time. This photo of pathways with some Halloween decor awaiting the darkness might be a good opportunity to share that this park’s layout absolutely befuddled me. A lot of coaster parks (and I would classify Hersheypark in this way) evolve into places with lots of dead ends, but this is more like a series of circuitous pathways that occasionally connect at random intervals. Even by my third day in the park, I often had trouble getting exactly where I wanted to go or finding some particular thing without getting turned around a couple of times. Here, of course, you can see two pathways that cross without connecting. So that’s fun. Storm Runner looked to have an interesting, if rather short, layout. But I didn’t ride it. Why? The trains. I absolutely despise these. I did give the test seat a go, just to double-check/remind myself. And even just briefly and carefully sitting down in said seat, without even touching the restraint, I experience immediate pain in my boy apples. I can’t even imagine how that would feel if I was pinned in, the thing was moving, and there was airtime. Actually, I can, because I’ve been on Maverick. Once. No idea who these seats are designed for, but it’s certainly not big burly men with adult-sized man… um, I need a synonym for balls. Anyone? Thesaurus says “courage,” but that doesn’t quite seem right. Parts of this park are quite pretty. Well, mostly the nature parts. But that’s still something. I didn’t ride their Boomerang either. But I do appreciate that they rethemed it to Jolly Ranchers! It does look like it has the newer vest restraints, but you could still see people jostling around in there as the train bounced its way through the course. Well, this is surprisingly honest. Did they know it was going to be hot this weekend? Also, why is it always hot when I go on park trips? Do I just attract warmth? If you’ve hung out with me at all, I’m sorry. But also, you know I don’t particularly care for RMCs. I was interested in maybe giving Wildcat’s Revenge a try, though. Not entirely sure why. I’d been on 3 (Outlaw Run, Untamed, and Wildfire) and didn’t care for any of them. But I tried the test seat, and found it utterly unchallenging, so I decided to give it a go. The restraints seemed to fit me a bit better on this one (or maybe I’ve changed a bit), so I was actually able to experience, you know, forces. And I kind of liked it? But it also beat me up a bit, especially in the second half. So…while I would say that it’s the most fun I’ve ever had on an RMC, I still found that one ride was enough. Hear me out: Wouldn’t it be more scary if the radiation didn’t have a safety control unit? The park’s indoor Maurer spinner, Laff Trakk, was given a Shaq overlay for Halloween, because apparently there’s also a Shaq-themed Hershey gummy candy? I’ve never had it. Or heard of it. Or been on this ride. Not sure the Shaq stuff really added a whole lot, but the ride was fun (and arguably better themed than Crush’s Coaster in Paris), Probably not worth a long wait, but the park was slammed on Saturday, so I sprung for the Unlimited Fast Track. Lightning Racer is a pair of racing/dueling CGIs. Not top tier or anything, but fun. I’m not sure how I feel about the water park just being in/part of the amusement park. It seemed weird to walk through it closed, but I imagine it would also feel weird to walk through it open. Also, there’s a Wild Mouse coaster called Wild Mouse. I always forget what I bad idea it is to ride a wild mouse by oneself. But I do like Wild Meese, so I’d probably do it anyway even if I remembered. There’s also a dark ride inside the park, Reese’s Cupfusion. The storyline is about misfit candies trying to steal some kind of magical cup from vapid genetically-superior candies and I think I’m supposed to be rooting for the rich, entitled ones? I shot all the bad different candy and maintained the elites’ grip on power! Sta-tus-quo! Sta-tus-quo! As with literally everything, I may be overthinking it. The “trick-or-treat” event seemed…um… Well, this was pretty much it. Also, I’m not a big fan of real-world franchise food & beverage establishments inside theme parks. But they did have a Rita’s, so I was a happy hypocrite. There’s a scenic little side path shortcut that connects Chocolate Town to whatever BS made-up themed area Skyrush is in. (Um…The Hollow? Founder’s Way? Midway America?) Skyrush had some good airtime, but was quite rattly--at least in the outside seats. I would’ve ridden again in a middle seat to see if it was better, if I thought that was in any way achievable as someone in the park by themselves. It wouldn’t have helped with that particular goal, but worth mentioning that Hershey doesn’t have any single rider lines anywhere, as far as I could tell. Okay, time for my Candymonium story! (I’m sure you’re excited.) So I end up riding next to a kid with (I assume) both autism and Tourette’s, and his very patient and loving (again, I assume) mother. Kid’s been shouting odd things in line about how he’s being murdered and whatnot, which is turning a lot of heads, but I figure this’ll be fun. Let’s see how he does on the ride. So, he’s sitting next to me, and he’s carrying on a bit on the lift--which again, I’m finding amusing more than annoying—but he’s locked in during the ride. (Which is probably the point of mom bringing him here, right?) Anyway, train gets back to the station and overshoots. Now, I spent many years working rides, so I’m pretty sure I knew what had happened before the ride ops even did. But immediately my heart sinks, because I know that the restraints are tied to the ride's position in the station. So we’re stuck there for 10 or 15 minutes waiting on maintenance to come move the train back into position and this kid is losing his mind. He’s screaming at the top of his lungs about wanting his phone, why he can’t just get off the ride, how a kid died in the wave pool a couple of weeks ago, you name it. His poor mother is doing her best to distract him, but there’s no hope. And all I can do is wince (he is basically just screaming in my ear) and smile and try not to laugh at the sheer awfulness of it all. The ride manager comes out to talk to him, and he offers to let the kid ride again (because he’s mentioned that). The line was closed by this point, and I probably could’ve weaseled my way back on with them…but I was good at that point. His mother thanked me when we got off. Not sure why. Just for not being an a-hole, I guess. But what can I say? Just like the train overshot the station, sometimes a situation overshoots annoying and lands right in effing hilarious. Plus, let’s be real here. I only had to deal with it for like 15 minutes. For this kid and his mom, it’s basically a lifetime of no choice but to deal with it. Cars in the park as advertisement. Very Six Flags. And a lot of this park is, sadly, despite its charms. On the other hand, this is pretty great. I didn’t ride. Not sure if I could have. But I’ve been on a proper adult one at Kennywood. So no big deal either way. I always ride these things, though. Also, you can’t park your stroller there unless you promise that your child will one day shop at that grocery store. I did go to that grocery store while I was in town. As well as another one called “Karns.” Because I always like to check out the local grocery stores. Is that weird? Maybe the most interesting part of these is that they’re dual tracked “racers,” with classic cars on one side and sports cars on the other. Twizzlers Twisted Gravity was quite good. I think I just like anything named after candy. Note the Kissing Tower in the background, because that’s where we’re going next. The old power plant (still standing for…reasons?), the remnants of the old chocolate factory, the new-ish corporate offices, the Reading Railroad (as in, “take a ride on the Reading”) and the Hersheypark Monorail--which was closed all weekend, much to my unhappiness. I really wanted to ride that. I got the impression they just didn’t want to run it in the fall. The same way they didn’t want to run their water rides, since it was only in the 80’s all weekend. In the queue for the Kissing Tower, there’s a sign that says something like, “Smooching is okay, but no food or drinks, please.” So I get in line, and a woman directly in front of me, who’s by herself, looks at me, looks at the sign, and then exits the line. I’m trying not to take it personally. Fahrenheit. Same trains at Storm Chaser. I just can’t imagine a reality where I would not completely hate a ride on this. Which is unfortunate. But I can’t imagine not being incredibly handsome, either. You don’t always get a choice with these things. That Kissing Tower lady's loss. I assume they didn’t want to run their water rides because half the time the park was going to be open would be at night--and people tend not to ride water rides at night, even if it’s warm. On the other hand, they only ran Trailblazer during the day, and then shut it down at night so a haunted house could use its queue. Really, I’m just bitter because I really wanted to ride their log flume, Coal Cracker. Which this is not. I wouldn’t have ridden this anyway. Honestly, I probably could’ve predicted that the water rides would be closed when I was planning the trip, if I’d thought about it. But I don't have to like it. Lightning Racer’s exit at night. One side is called Thunder, and the other side is called Lightning. Which I just can’t get behind. That’s not the right way to name things. Do I have to explain this? It’s just…wrong. You get it, right? It's not just me? I did check out one of the houses. Auntie Mortem’s Something Something. It was alright. Haunted attractions aren’t really my thing. I do enjoy the theming and seeing how they do throughput, what little tricks they have, and things like that. I don’t scare particularly easy, though--especially not in this kind of setting. So I kind of feel bad when I don’t really react the way they expect me to. I was also there by myself, which is interesting in the “horror night” context, where you’re maybe supposed to experience it more as a group, I reckon. Otherwise, being by myself didn’t really have too many downsides. Oh. A photo so bad that it circled back around again to being good? I was under the impression that Great Bear was on the less forceful side, but I did not find it so. I also thought it rather rough. I liked its setting and the way it interacted with some of the other rides, though. If you’re already in Hersheypark, you can take this bridge over to check out ZooAmerica at no extra charge. But I saw it earlier when Hersheypark wasn’t open to maximize time over cost. Also, it’s closed at night, so you couldn’t do what I just described right now anyway. But here’s the entrance to that bridge, if you just wanted to know what it looks like. sooperdooperLooper, Skyrush, and Comet. Have I talked about Comet? PTC goodness from 1946. Nothing too crazy, but lots of fun. Cool weird T-shaped layout. Obviously more modern trains and braking system than it originally had. But just feels like (and is) a gem. Also a PTC carousel. (With special semi-hidden mirror selfie by me!) I don’t normally like to brag about my ignorance. But all weekend I kept seeing people with 21 Pilots shirts. And I had no idea what that was. At first I assumed it was a band or something. But there were so many. Like, 1 in every 10 guests had one of these shirts. Maybe it was a clothing brand? Or like a joke of some sort? Well, turns out it was a band. And they were playing onsite/next door at Hershey Arena on Saturday night. Anyway, I can’t tell you if they’re any good or not, but their show contributed to this photo. So they can be proud of that, I suppose. What did I think of Hersheypark? Well, I really liked Chocolate World and Chocolate Town. But the rest of the park, while not without bright spots, was less to my taste. But one way I judge a park is by what they have that I like, and what they’re missing. I tend not to judge them poorly for having rides or attractions that I don’t like, because I can just skip those. It’s like a buffet. If I went to an all-vegetable buffet, I’d probably be pretty unhappy with it. But if I went to a pizza and ice cream buffet, I probably wouldn’t be too bothered if they also had some vegetables. I just wouldn’t eat those. Especially if they were first generation Intamin vegetables. Another way I judge parks in on their policies, and Hershey’s were fine and consistent. For example, on the aggressive rides, you could only wear glasses if you had a strap. That’s easy and clear. Signage, announcements, and employees were all on the same page. Every coaster had free lockers and/or someplace to leave your items in the station. That’s all great. I didn’t run into any policies that I thought were especially stupid, punished planning, or seemed unfair or inconsistent. So, on a scale of 0 to 10, with 10 being Europa-Park and 0 being Uncle Bernie’s, I give Hersheypark a 9. But if you took away Chocolate World and Chocolate Town, it would fall to like a 4. Although, if you did take those away, I’m not sure how you would get in and out of the park. Maybe the trolley? Wait…are we still on the trolley? What year is this? [*screaming from inside the house*]

Electerik Hershey Oddventure September 25 - 29, 2025 Part 1 of 2: Cookies 'n' Cream [*record scratch*] Yep, that’s me. I bet you’re wondering how I got here…. I hadn’t been to an amusement park in over 2 years (see Erik & Smisty & TPR do Denmark, Norway, Sweden, and Finland) and Hershey is probably the most “important” US park that I hadn’t yet been to. So, I picked a late-season weekend and struck out on a solo trip. But, if you know me, you know it was never going to just be about Hersheypark, but about the town of Hershey and all the things in it. Such as Chocolate World. Which is a totally separate thing. Well, a partially separate thing, anyway. I spent 5 full days in Hershey, and Hersheypark was only open for 2-and-a-half of them. But Chocolate World was open all 5. So that’s where we’re starting! So, yes, that first photo was me making my own chocolate bar. Kind of. You don’t really do much. You just select the ingredients and watch machines put it together. In fact, you don’t actually get anywhere near foodstuffs. It’s all behind glass. But they still made me wear the hairnets and apron. I assume so I wouldn’t distract all the other guests with my handsomeness. But they made the other folks wear that stuff too. So, I don’t know. I’m out of ideas. The Great Candy Expedition is an “immersive theater” experience in which your seat vibrates a bit and you mash buttons to vote on which 3 (out of 6) candy lands to visit. It was cute and inoffensive. Though the train you’re supposed to be on is constantly turning into a boat or a hot air balloon or whatever, so I’m not really sure how “immersive” it is. And also, the fact that you visit 3 out of 6 possible destinations means that it should theoretically be pretty reridable. However, it’s expensive for what it is, and since the destinations are determined by popular vote, I sincerely doubt that you’ll ever get to see Almond Joy Junction or whatever, 'cause b!tch we goin’ ta Reese’s Ridge again! Does “Hershey’s largest candy store” mean that it’s the largest candy store in Hershey, Pennsylvania? Or the largest candy store in the world that’s run by Hershey? Or that sells Hershey products? Or…? Asking for a friend who overanalyzes things. Speaking of pricing…I was on vacation, so whatever. But it’s hard not to notice just how all-over-the-place Chocolate World’s pricing is. Maybe it’s genius. I don’t know. But Hershey products (packaged candy bars and such) are very reasonable. (Maybe that makes sense, since all the factories are in town.) Food and beverage is just slightly below theme park normal. Merchandise is at theme park level. And experiences are quite expensive in a way that mostly doesn’t make them seem worthwhile--except for the obviously best one, which is completely free. Shake flight. I am not disappointed. Chocolate World has real cocoa trees in it! I don’t know if they’re actually used for anything. Or even how they’re doing. Hopefully they’re enjoying their lives on display indoors in Pennsylvania. Hershey’s Chocolate Tour is of course the main attraction here, and the ride I was second-most looking forward to on this trip. The queue is quite long, though the line never was. (Apologies to my UK friends for that sentence. Just swap the words ‘queue’ and ‘line’ and it will all make sense.) Lots to read in the queue, as well. Stuff about making chocolate, mostly. But the “extended queue” is all about the history of Chocolate World and the Chocolate Tour itself. So, I liked that. What I liked less was that there weren’t many opportunities to bypass queue sections, which tended to make it awkward when others were trying to read but didn’t seem to want to invite you to pass them, even though the ride itself was a walk-on. Probably not everyone rode this 6 times over 5 days, though. It’s an omnimover. That looks to me like it maybe had half its cars removed at some point? Maybe it’s just not as popular as it once was? Or maybe it never was? But I loved it! “It’s the milk we make that’s at the heart / Sweet inspiration from the very start / And you can taste the love all over the world! / Got that feel good feeling every day / Where they can shovel in the Hershey way / And you can taste the love all over the world!” Wait...shovel? Remember how confused I was about “Hershey’s largest candy store”? Well, according to this ride’s narration, “Hershey is one of the only companies in the world that uses fresh milk in its chocolate.” I have questions. Free chocolate at the end of the free ride. So, theoretically, you come out financially ahead on this deal. And, yes, this employee was kind enough to pose for this photo for me. One last thing on my list for Chocolate World: Ride around town on a trolley. But this trolley is a lie! I lived in Pigeon Forge for a while, and they do the same thing. Paint a bus green and call it a trolley. But nobody out-lies me, Hershey. Have at thee! (This will make more sense soon. Actually, it won’t make any sense, but at least you’ll see why I’m saying this now. Um…maybe.) The trolley takes you around to look at notable sites throughout the town, while a narrator tells you all about how great Milton Hershey was. Which, you know, he kind of was. He created a company town but went way out of his way to make it actually good. He built housing for his workers and sold them those houses at cost so they could own their own homes. By all accounts he paid fair wages, and he built up the town to make it pleasant to live in. (And many of those things you are about to see.) He helped win WWII, and started a school for orphans. But…he was also a segregationist, which is hardcore advanced-level racism. And the school was not only for just for white kids, but only white males. So…yeah. Pretty progressive in regards to poor white men. But that’s about as far as he went. All of which is a heck of a caption for a B&M hypercoaster called Candymonium. Late in life, and not having any children of his own, Milton quietly transferred all of his stakes in Hershey to the trust that runs this school, currently valued at about $15 billion. So the school is doing alright. And it's no longer racist or sexist! (I mean, as far as I know.) “High Point,” the mansion Hershey had built for himself. Tours are available. Some Saturdays. And they sell out weeks or months in advance. So only "available" in the strictest technical sense. Not sure I would've done it anyway. I probably would've. But I'm not too bummed about missing it. I've been in houses before. “Parkview Manor,” the mansion Hershey had built for me. Rather nice of him. A better view of my backyard. Tours are available for a small fee. The trolley then drives right into the Hershey Story Museum and up those stairs to the second floor. (See? I can lie, too.) I also own a top hat. And caramel brass knuckles. Plus, I’m not dead. (As of this writing.) From there, the trolley takes you to Duck Donuts. Where you can get a donut breakfast sandwich and a donut sundae. Still not dead. But trying. It should be noted that Hershey, Pennsylvania, does not actually exist, legally. This is a bit of a semantic argument, of course. It has a zip code. It’s just not incorporated as “Hershey,” and is instead a part of Derry Township. Also, they water the grass with milk. The trolley then sucks you off to another dimension where chocolate does not come from plants. But where plants can nevertheless be used to make a mocking approximation of something almost, but not entirely, unlike chocolate. Back in our home dimension, where chocolate is good, the trolley squeezes through this pedestrian tunnel to cross under the road to ZooAmerica. So named not because it is America’s Grandest Zoo, but rather because it only has American Animals. (/Salutes in Bald Eagle) A lot of ZooAmerica feels old, but in a way that’s almost good? Like, maybe instead of “old” I should’ve said “classic”? It’s small zoo with some quaint old buildings and a wooded setting, but the animals don’t seem cramped or poorly cared for. I kind of got the impression that over the years they repurposed old buildings to hold different, smaller animals? But that might just be my own personal head-canon. The exotic ocelot. (“You hear that? He called you 'exotic'. Which is just people talk for awesome, which is what you are.”) I’m trying to come up with a caption worthy of this photo. Bear with me. Most zoos have some sort of specialty. ZooAmerica’s is skeptical owls. Next we motor through Hershey Gardens and get stuck in this lake. Allegedly, Milton Hershey was asked (by whom is apparently not important) to build a garden in Washington, DC. His response was to build one in Hershey instead. Baller. (Still racist, though.) New “Hot Steam” Kisses! Did you know that chocolate is actually ground-up butterflies? In that other dimension where they have to make the weird fake version out of plants? Everything we eat is gross if you think about it. A view of Hersheypark’s Hershey Triple Tower from Hershey Gardens across Hersheypark Drive in Hershey, Pennsylvania, via the Hershey Trolley Works. A view of Hersheypark and Hersheypark Arena from the Hotel Hershey across Hersheypark Drive in Hershey, Pennsylvania, via the Hershey Trolley Works. This is what the Trolley sees when it looks in the mirror. We end our amazing journey back at Hershey’s Chocolate World, wiser yet acutely aware that ten years have passed in our absence due to time dilation, and while the chocolate tour dark ride is still free, all of our other tickets have expired and we forgot little Joey and he’s in a Christian punk band now and dating a chatbot named TwizzLiar869. Also, Reese’s Oreo is back by popular demand! Directly next to Chocolate World is Chocolate Town. And what exactly is “Chocolate Town”? Well, it’s kind of strange, in that it encapsulates Hersheypark’s entrance plaza, exit gift shop, and first themed area. So some of it is open and accessible even at times when the park is not, sort of hand-in-hand with Chocolate World, while other parts are inside the park gates and off limits when the park is closed. Did that explain it? No? Hersheypark does not serve Hershey’s Ice Cream, because Hershey’s Ice Cream has nothing to do with Hershey’s Chocolate. Both companies started in the same area at around the same and were both founded by unrelated folks named Hershey. As you might imagine, there have been quite a few trademark battles over the years, that have mostly just resulted in bad blood. So, while Hershey’s Ice Cream is very popular in Hershey, Pennsylvania, Hersheypark mostly serves Turkey Hill Ice Cream. Milton’s is inside the park’s main (exit) gift shop, which is open year-round(-ish). Or, at least more often than the park itself is. As you are no doubt aware, by law, all amusement parks’ main gift shops must contain the word “emporium” or the phrase “supply company” in their name, and Hershey is in compliance. Above the Hershey Supply Company is the full-service Chocolatier Restaurant. I was well aware of this place going in and planned to eat there at least once. As it happens, I ate there four times in five days. I like a full-service restaurant at a park. Gives me a chance to sit relatively comfortably and take a little break in the middle of my day. Plus, the food tends to better. It was, admittedly, a bit overpriced for what it was. But I did enjoy everything I ordered and I kept going back, so I guess it wasn’t…? This Ferris wheel of appetizers is clearly meant for more than one person, but I couldn’t resist…especially once I realized that one of the items on it was Cuban (as in sandwich) spring rolls, which paired quite nicely with Twizzlers hot sauce. And yes, I did pimp my server into taking this photo. Which makes it the only photo of the trip not taken by me, and isn’t in any way pathetic. A view of the park. And of Heath bar encrusted salmon with chocolate dusted carrots and embarrassingly non-candy accented potatoes. Note the train on the roller coaster. I’m very proud. Thus endeth part one of this report. Oh, you wanted to actually see inside Hersheypark? Sorry, that's part 2. I am wildly inconsistent with my use of number formatting.

Hard to tell much from this. The park looks realty cool, though. Thanks for sharing!

Not my place to second-guess the decision, but I really like Jetline and will definitely miss it. I imagine that the space (small as it is) and maybe even the station will be reused at some point for another coaster.

I am amused and intrigued by the idea of an Invisible Man walk-around character.

Proof that you don't read my trip reports! (Or, you just have a bad memory.) Short version: There's a famous statue in downtown Helsinki of three naked workers with tools. (I think it's kind of a socialist thing.) So the park has a homage/parody of that where the guys are taking a break and having some ice cream. Anyway, I really enjoyed Linnanmäki. In fact, it might just be a top 10 park for me. I thought I'd seen it quite well during our day there, but you had quite a few photos of things I'd missed entirely! Great day. Fun hang. Thanks, Bert.

"They opened the gift shop for you, Misty. You *have* to get the big one!"

Not sure exactly how everyone else does it, but my method feels overly time consuming. I just can't find a faster way that gives me the results I want. First, I go through all the photos (mine and Smisty's) from the place or places I want the update to be about, to familiarize myself with what I've got, and to make the next step a little easier. Then, I go through again, copying every photo that I find good, interesting, or that supports the story I think I want to tell, into a separate folder. Then I take all those photos and start numbering them into a reading order. If photos are similar, they'll get the same number, since I endeavor not to post overly similar photos. Then I go through the photos in order, over and over again, deleting down to just the very best essence of the story, and eliminating "duplicate" photos. Things often get reordered during this stage, as well. When there's nothing left to eliminate, then I'm done. I upload the photos and start captioning them. But often I'm so exhausted by this point that proofreading basically becomes impossible for me, so Misty does that part. Meaning that much of my, *ahem* humor just comes from being delirious. Then I sit back and await my accolades! And wait. And wait.

Well, as everyone who has read anything of mine should know by now, you can't go by me. I guess I just imagined that "turbo mode" meant that it would spin like crazy. But in fact I don't think I really spun at all. Instead, it just beat the crap out of me. Awful. I wish you and Playland something better! Perhaps a Mack Extreme Spinner. Or a Volare. Just kidding. I've never ridden a Volare. But that's part of it for me. If looks to have no redeeming qualities, I don't ride. Tornado fooled me.

Thanks for joining us for lunch! And for being part of the Cult of the Lake Carousel.

And so at last we come to the final update of the longest trip report I've ever written, about the longest vacation I've ever taken, to the farthest place I've ever gone, to experience the worst roller coaster I've ever ridden. (Tornado at Bakken.) But let us not dwell on the negative, but rather focus our attentions on the very best things we encountered on this amazing trip.... 28: Big Finnish Up with the sunrise to catch our flight. And this is Helsinki, so sunrise is probably earlier than you think. And back home to the little strip of land we share with 750,000 other people near the Pacific Ocean. Time to reflect. Sometimes Smisty and I agreed as to what was the best of a particular thing, and sometimes we didn't. For example: Erik's Park of the Trip - Gröna Lund I really struggled with this one. Yes, I rate Gröna Lund as my second favorite park (with Europa being #1) but Liseberg was just so good on this trip. What I ultimately decided was this: If I can count the Grand Curiousa Hotel as part of Liseberg, then Liseberg wins--and if I can't, then Gröna Lund wins. And since it seems weird to me to count a hotel as part of an amusement park for this purpose, well...Gröna Lund wins. Smisty's Park of the Trip - Power Park I get it. I rated this one quite highly as well, and I skipped the crazy flat rides that Smisty cited as being particular highlights of Power Park. She also mentioned the Devil's Mine Hotel dark ride that gave you a limited number of shots. Best Wooden Coaster - Rutschebanen at Tivoli Gardens According to RCDB, Rutschebanen's elements are: Tunnel, Cable Lift Hill, Tunnel, Tunnel, Tunnel, Tunnel, Tunnel, Tunnel. But I think that's selling it a bit short. There are a few drops. And, of course, a brakeman. Normally, I don't distinguish between wood and steel for purposes of judging rides against one another, but doing it this way kept Misty and I in agreement. Otherwise, my favorite coaster overall would be her second favorite, and vice versa. Which, come to think of it, wouldn't really have changed very much in terms of presentation here. Best Steel Coaster - Fønix at Fårup Sommerland For me, it's not even close. I have Lech as my #1, and this now at #3, with Mako sandwiched in-between them, but probably just because I subconsciously don't want two such similar rides right next to each other at the top of my list. It's like someone took an MRI of my effed-up body, sent it to Vekoma, and challenged them to design a ride that specifically I would enjoy. And they did it twice (at least). Oh yeah, and Smisty likes it also. Best Coaster Collection - Liseberg Is this here just to make me feel better about choosing Gröna Lund over Liseberg? Yeah, probably. But there's not a bad coaster in this park, even if Balder is a bit overrated. Best Dark Ride - The Flying Trunk A weird multi-level dark ride that travels through narrated Hans Christian Andersen stories? Yes, please. I wouldn't say that there were a lot of dark rides on this trip, but many of the ones that did exist were relatively strong. Best Dark Ride Collection - Linnanmäki Witches and clowns, man. Erik's Favorite Water Ride of the Trip - Ragnarok at Tusenfryd On a trip without a lot of good log flumes, a rapids ride sneaks in and pillages my watery heart! (Or something.) Smisty's Favorite Water Ride of the Trip - The Three Hour Buffet Ferry Ride from Denmark to Norway Smisty, I don't think you're taking this very seriously. I was thinking more like an actual ride at a park. Maybe the log flume at Liseberg? No? *sigh* Fine. Erik's Favorite Walk-Through: Lustiga Huset at Gröna Lund I may be old and overweight, but I'm pretty sure-footed, and I love a good fun house. And this is the goodest. Smisty's Favorite Walk-Through: Gasten Ghost Hotel at Liseberg I'd love to show you a picture of it, especially the awesome flooded room--but photos are not allowed inside. So, instead, here's a picture of Smisty's favorite dessert of trip, Strawberry Shortcake Cake at Power Park's Road House. Erik's Favorite Flat Ride - Lake Carousel at Särkänniemi Yes, it's a Schwarzkopf. Yes, it's also very much a family ride. But it's just so gentle and fun! They don't make them like this anymore, but they should. Smisty's Favorite Flat Ride - Aquila at Tivoli Gardens A nicely themed Zamperla Air Race on top of a building. What more could a Smisty want? Transportation/Observation Ride of the Trip - Safari at Kolmården Zoo When I told Smisty the first draft nominee for this category, her response was, "That's it?" So then I threw in Särkänniemi's observation tower and Linnanmäki 's monorail to pad it out. But, really, what other possibility could there be besides this? Erik's Best Park Food/Restaurant - Spökbaren Gasten at Liseberg While food was perhaps not on balance as good as on our two previous European trips, there were some highlights. Such as the Danish Smørrebrød, or Liseberg's haunted pub. Of course, part of this choice is the atmosphere. After all, everyone knows that food tastes better when you're scared. Smisty's Best Park Food/Restaurant - The Disgusting Food Museum in Malmö, Sweden Smisty, you're making a mockery of this whole idea. This isn't even at a park and the whole point of the place is that the food is bad. Why do you hate me?? Erik's Best Non-Park Thing - The Paternoster Elevator What more can I say? Except that Smisty knew full well this was a category when she named a place that serves "three penis wine" as her favorite restaurant, and a buffet as her favorite water ride! Smisty's Best Non-Park Thing - Tropicario (or, as we call it, the Snake Zoo) Oh, I get it. By calling the Disgusting Food Museum your favorite restaurant, you got to mention both that and this. Cheater! Fine! I'm changing my favorite wooden roller coaster to the ARoS Aarhus Art Museum! How do you like those apples?! She likes those apples fine. I'd like to thank the following weirdos: Myself, for writing this trip report and taking most of the photos. Smisty, for proofreading it and being the B-camera. Bert, for being the only one who reads it. Goodballs, for being our pal. Elissa, for organizing the trip and herding the cats. Robb, for hating mango lassi. Peter Ellis, for inventing the Paternoster Elevator. And Hans Christian Andersen, without whom, we would be left with a dark ride themed to Mads Mikkelsen. Actually, that sounds kind of awesome. Goodbye forever!

Thanks for the TR! The new stuff looks cool. I've only been to this park once (in 2022), but I enjoyed it. Maybe not the most thrilling coaster collection, but certainly a unique park with some fun attractions.

Continuously moving, yes. Which seems a bit inefficient if there aren't a lot of people around. I did see one other person use it while I was there, but that was it. Still, what do I know? Maybe it doesn't take all that much energy, or maybe it's normally more heavily used. I'm certainly not complaining about any of it. Nah, it wasn't that small. I do think it said "2 persons max" somewhere, though.

Our last full day in Helsinki, and it was great! Yes, this is the last update. Except there will probably be one more. But other than that, this is the last one! 27: The Holy Grail of Vertical Conveyances Having struck out at Stockmann, my last shot was this office building, Hämeentie 19. My pre-trip research showed it was here, but there was little else to glean. Was it public, guarded, private, touristy? It was time to find out... Ladies and gentlemen, the Paternoster Elevator. As it turned out, there was a sort of reception desk, but it was unmanned. And no one seemed too interested in me or my peculiar interest in their elevators. A photo of the plaque, with Google Lens's translation superimposed over it. I understand that some Paternoster elevators out there warn you not to ride over the top or around the bottom. But this one says it's okay! Did I do that? Yes, yes I did. 08 PXL_20230627_082654535.TS.mp4 Paternoster is Latin for "Our Father." As in, "who art in Heaven." And a common nickname is, "The elevator of death." Which is a bit dramatic, of course. But I'm sure you can see why there are few left, and why none were ever built in the United States. Smisty was not nearly so interested in the Paternoster as I was, eventually just going outside for a sit. So the least I could do, once I was finally finished, was to reward her with lunch at a small ramen shop nearby. A bit warm inside, as unheard of heat likes to follow me around Europe, but the food was quite tasty! Speaking of Smisty rewards, it was time for the snake zoo! The snake zoo does not shortchange you on snakes. It also has things that are not snakes, but are snake-adjacent. Tropicario used to be located in Hämeenlinna, but moved to Helsinki in 2007 due to lack of visitors. Hämeenlinna is about 113 kilometers from Helsinki (or a little over 13,000 American SUVs), and the name means, "Town of Snake-Haters." Which makes you wonder why Tropicario thought it was a good idea to build there in the first place. A bird and some fish can be seen in this photo, and maybe even a snake or two that I haven't spotted. Who can say? I wouldn't get into a staring contest with that one. Smisty has no eyelids. The Finnish word for snake is käärme. The Latin word for snake is serpens. The Japanese word for snake is 蛇. Is that helpful? Does that help? This is not a snake. This is a cutetoes. I'm really good at zoo and aquarium captions. Sad snake doesn't understand why no one will play with him. It's cause he's poisonous. POISONOUS That outta get me some comments. I'm not proud. I didn't see any identifiers for this statue, but Google Lens (to rescue again) reveals it to be called, "The Worker Mother." And, incidentally, I definitely translated that Paternoster sign that says it's okay to ride all the way around before I did it and not after I got home and was going through these photos. I mention that for no reason. I assume this is a smoking shelter, for when it's really cold. That's my best theory anyway. Even Google Lens is baffled by this one. Hmm, what's this? It kind of looks familiar.... And we're back at Linnanmäki! Not for any particular reason. We just happened to be walking by on our way from one place to the next. But, I mean, since we're here. Sea Life's other "outside the park" entrance. Although, again, Linnanmäki is free to enter, so I'm not sure why it's needed. Maybe it's open all year and the park isn't? Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks for joining on my brain's journey toward common sense! Taiga is a terrain coaster. Although, really, isn't every coaster a terrain coaster, if you really think about it? I stood here for a while waiting for a train to launch. Must've been down for a bit. A nearby underpass. That's not a very good caption. Wait, I know! A nearby underpass, with art. A very nice public park with some statues and memorial oak trees. I've seen some minor attractions in my time, but this might be the minor-est: "Cathedral of the Nature." It's a tree with a hole in it. There's a tiny matchstick model of a cabin inside and some music. Not that I'm in any way opposed to minor attractions, mind you. Our next stop: Tower of the Helsinki Olympic Stadium. The tower is 72.71 metres tall. Or, in American, 72.71 meters. Guess I should go this way. There is an elevator, but you you have to take stairs to get up the last couple floors. The whole thing is quite small, but luckily there was only one other couple there during our visit. Construction of the Stadium began in 1934 and it was completed in 1938, in time for the 1940 Summer Olympics, which were moved from Tokyo to Helsinki before being cancelled due to World War II. So, sorry about that, Finland. It did host the 1952 Summer Olympics, however. Finland did participate in WWII, by the way. In fact, they participated on both sides! (Russia was a problem.) I see you, Linnanmäki. If you look closely you can see a bunch of stuff but I don't know what it is. Hmm. I should've learned more Finnish. The *ahem* "World's Smallest Power Plant." Ice cream. It was pretty good. Not the best I've ever had, but that's a good thing, as it seems unlikely that I shall have it again anytime soon. Also, this is Misty's hand and ice cream. But I had some, too. Had a great time exploring Helsinki. Glad we tacked on the extra couple of days. Two trains! I think I'm going to do one last wrap up post. But if you're not interested in that, then you're done. You're excused. Go outside and play.

It was on our 'possibilities' list! But we didn't quite make it over there. As I recall, there was some kind of 4D theater thing it was paired with, but that seemed weak. If it had been a proper flying theater, we probably would've done it.

We planned two days on our own in Helsinki, after the end of the TPR trip, in order to do Erik & Smisty things. And we did! Here are the less good ones. (I don't know, it just worked out that way.) 26: Cork Is Sorry Up bright and early, but it's hard to tell because our hotel is in Finland and that's where the sun lives. Gotta have some beans and a donut to get me going, though. Helsinki is nice, and I'm happy to spend time in pretty much any northern European city--or really almost anywhere that I've never been. But, having said that, it's no Stockholm. Ooh, a grocery store! Yes, we're easily amused. OR We're fun and you're the problem. Ever think of that?? This seems like an unhealthy selection of breakfast cereals even by American standards. And I eat beans and donuts for breakfast, Speaking of unhealthy and American: I'd been looking for this particular Ben & Jerry's flavor the entire trip, after having encountered it at Gröna Lund in 2019., and really enjoying it. (Apparently it's a UK "only" flavor.) Okay, now that you mention it, "baby back ribs" is a pretty weird name for a food already, but leaving the word 'back' out of it doesn't make it better. Helsinkians really provide for their seagulls. Helsinkites? Helsinks? (I would go with 'Hellions' if it were me.) Time to ferry about! No wait, ferries carry cars. Water taxi? We're gonna ride on a boat boat, is my point. "Switch costumes, you ignominious pretender!" If you understand this reference, congratulations! You are unique in all the world and also you're me and your brain is broken. We did not ride the SkyWheel Helsinki, so I cannot say whether or not licorice consumption is required onboard. But what I can tell you is that the single brown cabin is the world's only sauna on a Ferris wheel. Actually, I'm just assuming it's the world's only. Their website actually says, "world's first," which seems to imply that someone else has since built another one. However, I can find no evidence of this. Which forces me to consider the even more insane possibility that SkyWheel Helsinki was so sure someone else would immediately copy this idea that they just went with 'first' right out of the gate. And here we arrive at our destination: Korkeasaari Zoo, which is located on an island. Just to reiterate: this entire island is a zoo. Which is awesome. But, to be honest, it feel less like an island that they brought a bunch of zoo animals to, and more like an island that just kind of had some animals on it already, so they declared it a zoo. So, the location is cool, but is the zoo actually any good? Well, no. Did you not read the last caption? But perhaps I'm being too harsh. It does have this leopard. And a statue of a goat. Note the building in the background. Which is a restaurant named--and I swear I'm not making this up--Restaurant Pukki. Which did not make us vomit, I am happy to say. Probably the most interesting animals at Korkeasaari, Amur tigers. Other things of note: Korkeasaari is the largest zoo in Finland, was established in 1899, and is open year round. These are also animals of some kind. Karhulinna means "bear castle." Yep, that's a bear. The old, no longer in use, bear castle. You know, from back when people thought that bears would be more comfortable in a castle than surrounded by trees and stuff. And that they might like being stared at by a mural of a tiger all day. Look, I'm pro-zoo, but just tear this thing down and never speak of it again, you know? "I bless the herpetariums of Afriii-cAsia!" Pop quiz: Is this snake from Africa or Asia? If it helps, I 100% do not remember because I didn't take a photo of the sign and it's been like 10 months since then and this is easily the longest trip report I've ever done and I'm starting to have regrets. I guess there's more to a zoo than just animals. There's also wooden planks. They're not exactly the word leader in gift shops, either. Wait, you can walk on and off this island? Why did we take a boat?? At this point, I can't really even get off on a naked statue unless there's a seagull on its head. We wanted to visit Stockmann for a few reasons. For one, it was recommended to us by one of Smisty's co-workers who used to live in Helsinki. Two, it's the largest department store in the Nordic countries, and we like going to stores and malls and things when we're visiting new places. And three, it was a possible place I might find a little something I was hoping to track down while in Helsinki. That third thing didn't really work out. As while I was able to confirm that it existed (in an employees-only area), I was not able to actually see or experience it. I know, I know, I'm being terribly mysterious. But I won't make you wait long. Just until the next update. Oh, wait...that could actually be awhile at the rate I'm going. You'll probably have forgotten all about it by then. Big store. Lots of different stuff. I don't know. Things adults like. We found our favorite section, toys! This game sucks. Okay, I feel better now. Ultimately, it is just a really big department (and grocery) store. But we enjoyed checking it out. Back out on the street, we get one of those classic European "this would be a national landmark in the US, but here it's a transit center" buildings. The Three Smiths Statue is the metaphorical center point of Helsinki. I think you're supposed to see this one before the parody of it at Linnanmäki (Three Smiths on a Break). Just one more day to go! Will I get it done before the end of April?? I mean, I have to get it done before the end of May. I can't take a whole year to finish this thing. Actually, maybe I'll just quit now. That would be funny. The end.

At last we come to the final park of the trip, Linnanmäki. The name means Water Castle Hill, but I think they should've included the word "rocky" in there somewhere, personally. 25: Sampo Circus The park was founded, and is still run, by the non-profit Children's Day Foundation. Entry is free, though one must of course pay for the attractions. Can you guess what year it first opened? The first ride of the day was Taiga, an Intamin LSM launch coaster not completely dissimilar in style to VelociCoaster. I think I like this one slightly more, though it does lack the theming of IOA's ride. Both are smooth and aggressive, but VelociCoster's first half feels like it's made up of smaller, more compact elements (which I guess I'm saying is less good). A pretty great ride, in any case. Taken through the window of the gift shop, because I'm artsy. Next door to Taiga is Kyöpelinvuoren Hotelli, the exterior of which is "shown" here, in this shot from the queue for the Ferris wheel--because, again, artsy. I had no idea this dark ride existed, and it was spectacular. It reminded me a lot of Blue Train, except where Blue Train is a celebration of random mix-and-match horror theming, Kyöpelinvuoren Hotelli has a consistent theme throughout--which might sound less interesting, in a way, but isn't because that theme is, "What if witches ran a hotel but a wizard showed up to fight them and got killed almost immediately and they also live in the hotel and there are werewolves too sometimes I guess." "Again!" Yes, the park has a fun house. But, it's a fairground-style trailer-mounted one. Better than not having a fun house though, to be sure! I'm not afraid to punch a seagull. I don't know what this is, but I appear to be having fun. I suppose you could classify it as a powered coaster, but I'm not sure what the point would be since no one should be counting powered coasters anyway. Goldballs modelling the next "what the hell is this?" ride. This dark ride I did know about. I had no idea so many coaster enthusiasts were coulrophobic. I thought it was great! (Giving Linnanmäki the best 1-2 dark ride punch of the trip.) Let me know if you want more pictures of terrifying dark ride clowns! Or witches! Or that one wizard guy who died. "Again"? Next door to the Clown Circus is this walk-through haunted house and mirror maze. Well lit and family-ish, but I really enjoyed it. They give you 3-D glasses, but they feel pretty unnecessary, to be honest. Some cool effects in the mirror maze, like glass that "breaks" to reveal monsters when triggered by passers-by. Some areas of Linnanmäki are themed and some aren't--or I just don't understand what those areas are themed to. Or, to put it another way, Linnanmäki is circus-themed except when it isn't, which is frequently. Don't tell me that doesn't make sense unless you've been there. There is no other theming of this kind in the park. Enjoy your pee! I think this photo was taken from the "sky cabin" style observation tower, Panoraama. Vuoristorata has a similar layout to Bakken's Rutschebanen, but this one is still breakman operated. (Er...brake-person operated?) Unfortunately, this one was rather rough and dull. Of course, I only rode it once (because it was rough and dull), and by its nature, one would expect some variation from ride to ride--but I can only judge by what I experienced. And what I experienced was pointless. RMC it! Bug Why, bug? Linnanmäki, that's why. There's something weirdly interesting about a monorail built through a multi-level park in such a way that it travels directly alongside pathways. In case it wasn't obvious, I fell in love with this park when we walked in. Hot dog, lunch! The train (which has a tiny graphic of a train on the front of it, presumably so that you'll know what it is once you get up close) travels around this water tower that doesn't have water in it, but can't be torn down for historic reasons. It can apparently have a roller coaster built inside of it, though. Linnunrata eXtra Linnunrata means "Milky Way" and eXtra means "stupid VR goggles that you shouldn't use because the inside of this ride is actually really nicely themed!" To space, obviously. Oh, and hey, Barry's back! He's been back for awhile actually. In fact, think he only missed, like, one park. Don't rely on me for news updates is what I'm saying. That looks cool. How do we get down there? For an extra thrill, ride your horsy along the edge of a rocky cliff. It's a walk-around character. Of some sort. Quick, walk around her! Quickly googles "Linnanmaki mascot." Oh, Rolle the Clown. Which, yeah, don't google that. She's not it. She's waaaaay less horrifying. Yes, Smisty and Goldballs are on this thing. Photo by me. Maybe this is more common than I think, but I've never seen a swinging ship ride with restraints that come down over your body and rows that face one another. We rode just because it seemed weird. The park's spinning coaster, Salama, was quite alarming in that the ride was janky and rough leaving the station and all the way to the top of the lift hill. But then it was fine and smooth and enjoyable. It was almost a feature. Like, let's make people think this ride is going to be horrible, but then it's fun actually! This area of the park is largely themed to the Finnish epic, Kalevala. And if you don't know what this, there's a chance you actually do. At least, if you've ever seen the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode featuring the Finnish/Russian film based on that mythology, "The Day the Earth Froze." That's right. The big metal thing shooting water and fire is, in fact, meant to be a Sampo. Wait...MST3K paired that film with a short called, "Here Comes the Circus." Oh. Your. God. That means that Linnanmäki is entirely themed after Episode 422 of Mystery Science Theater 3000. Pikajuna is a Mack powered coaster that was primarily interesting for how it intertwined with some of the park's other coasters. Speaking of Mack, we were warned that there's a reason Tulireki is the world's only Mack E-Motion Coaster. And during the first third, it didn't seem too bad. But oh that second third, the jack-hammering begins! And then the last third is kind of in-between, where it's just a little bit terrible. I am not an engineer, but I have to suspect that the drunken elves that move the seats a bit in relation to the chassis just don't have the magic to maintain their composure at the bottom of the drops. The park also has an upcharge Sea Life Aquarium. Well, not an upcharge, really, as the park is free to enter. So, just a charge, I guess. Maybe it's even weird to say, "the park has," since there's also an entrance from outside the park. Not that having to enter the park would be any great hindrance. Anyway, naked dudes eating ice cream. And one has a bird on his head. Just try that sh!t with me, gull. I'll mess you up. Can verify that the aquarium has an underwater tunnel, making it officially legitimate. It also put a little hat on a sea urchin, making it fun in a way that's kind of dubious. "Just try putting a hat on me, aquarium. I'll mess you up." I like Sea Life Aquariums. Maybe not quite as much as most city-run aquariums, but they'll do! Linnanmäki. It's great. Maybe their overall coaster collection is just okay, on average--but Taiga was really good and Salama and Linnunrata are both fun. Two wonderful dark rides, plus a walk-though and a fun house. An observation tower, monorail, Ferris wheel, aquarium. Some interesting flat rides and lots and lots of weirdness. Yeah, this is an Erik park. Score: 10 And so we say goodbye to TPR (here represented entirely by Robb). But--and I apologize in advance--this is not the last update, as we spent two more full days in Helsinki doing Erik & Smisty stuff. So stay tuned for: The elevator of death! A drab office building full of snakes! A really big store! An observation tower that's part of a stadium! A really tiny power plant! Baby ribs! Um...the airport! And more!

Was really looking forward to going to Japan next year and not being allowed to ride it.

I love Gröna Lund so much. Having said that, it would be nice if one of their 75 drop tower rides was an observation tower instead. I'm just saying.

Särkänniemi is a city-owned amusement park with a great location and an interesting and varied collection of attractions. Its coaster lineup is perhaps a bit lacking, though, and there aren't a whole bunch of them. Which is okay by me, but maybe left a lot of my fellow trip participants ready to move on well before I was. Which is a shame, as there are sections of this park I felt like I really had to rush through, and some areas I never even saw. 24: Born To Boom Näsinneula Observation Tower & Tornado greet us as we enter the park. Also, some really pretty benches, all at weird angles to make sitting more challenging and fun! Tornado's station is impressively dark and spooky and carved out of rock. And one of its two heartline rolls similarly sweeps under mountain. Which is cool, because when I think "Tornado," I think "underground caves." A good ride, but a bit rattly. On the other hand, I exclusively rode on the much less full train, and those on the more heavily-weighted train did not seem to agree with my 'rattly' accusation. So take that for what it's worth. Tornado intertwines with the park's log flume, Tukkijoki--which means "log nonsense" (maybe). Also, that "floating" faucet would maybe be more convincing if they, like, tried. Is it better to boom before pizza, or after? No, serious question. The park wants to know. It's hip and cool and for the trendy kids. Except that it is actually kind of cool looking. Oh, wait, if I think it's cool, then it definitely isn't, because I'm old and decidedly unhip. So I don't know what it is. It's the Park Shop. Beware of smartphone zombies. These symbols actually spell out a word! See it? All aboard the hype train! See, because, the ride is called Hype. And it has a train. Stop in the name of burger. Also, take off. Piggy Town is Pouta Pig's hometown. "Pouta" means dry weather in Finnish. And that's good weather for a candy cane. Thus, this photo. If you look closely you can not see me. Because I didn't ride it. But you can see Smusty and Goldirt. I did ride--and very much enjoyed--this seaside car ride, though. "The ride is calm, although the steep cliffs can be a bit exciting." Järvikaruselli is a beautiful old Schwarzkopf ride that's very gentle but still really fun. To stumble across it felt like finding a rare coin worth way more than the amount printed on it. MotoGee is a Zamperla straddle coaster (no, seriously...is that what we're calling them??) It was...fine, I guess? I barely remember it. Anyway, here's a photo of some random Fins acting like goons because they're about to ride it. Love when park guests treat photo ops like benches. Yeah, you're number 1, dude. Hope nobody else is here to have fun. That's pretty great for a bumper cars facade. Going up the observation tower for big time looking at stuff. Yes, here we are at the top of the Näsinneula (or, "Eye Stabber") Observation Tower. Except we're not quite at the top, because there's a ceiling above us. And above that, another floor! Looking down on the rapids ride and petting zoo kids farm area. A group of us had lunch at the Observation Tower's rotating restaurant. Here you can see Misty doing that thing where you're so focused on making every other part of the photo work that you forget to pose yourself. Culturally, full-service dining in Finland is meant to be relaxed and unrushed--even more so than in the Netherlands. So the decision to eat here (admittedly, championed largely by me) certainly contributed to my having less time to explore the rest of the park. So at least some blame on myself for that whole situation. I do not remember what this was, exactly. But I don't remember anything not being good. Except for the first drop, you can see most of Tornado's layout here--among other things. The non-amusement park we visited in the last update can be seen off to the right across the water. Särkänniemi also has an aquarium, located at the base of the Tower. Slither Fish Koskiseikkailu, which means "butt splasher." No, I'm never going to get tired of these dumb translation jokes. See? Proof that what I said was true. The Doghill Fairytale Farm area of the park. I'm not sure if I saw all of it or not, but what I saw I liked. Raatiuone means "Town Hall." No, wait, it does actually. However, I believe it was a bakery or something. Certainly, there was no lively local political debate, much to my disappointment. Okay, loaded fries. And some kind of kebab. And um.... Okay, wow. And a vegan thing. Got it. This is like a haunted indoor play structure, or something? (A rather unkind description of me, but sure, I guess so.) Oh, Mr. Fancypants Child has to be led to the haunted play structure on a horse. Lad-di-da! I don't know what's wrong with me. But thanks for wondering! Sheeeeeeep! See, it's cute. It's a fun area. This area needs a dark ride. And by "this area" I mean "this park." But I feel that way about every area and every park. Sometimes I'm on a dark ride and I think, "Hmm, you know what this dark ride needs? A dark ride." Park Score: Um, I'm not sure? There are some rides I was interested in but never made it on. I dunno. 6 or 7? Let's give them the benefit of the doubt and go with 7. Next up: The final park of the trip!

Correct.

There were three total "travel days" on this trip, one of which was to get to Power Park, and one of which was to get away from Power Park. This is that last one. 23: Mixed Blueberry Feelings Traditional Finnish breakfast things and also beans to keep the English tourists happy. Goodbye, Power Park, my weird new friend! Stopped off at some random rest stop with fancy pay toilets, groceries, and souvenirs. And also they make cheese curds. Or I guess cheese. Both really. This photo is ridiculous. Anyway, here we are in Tampere, Finland--the largest inland city in the Nordic countries, and allegedly the sauna capital of the world. Plus, they have a Taco Bell. So that's exciting. Taco Bell's are a bit different in this part of the world. We arrived in Tampere just in time for Midsummer, which many Fins celebrate with human sacrifice and not being in cities. So that was interesting timing in that it meant that a lot of the museums and such were closed. Impenetrable. Not sure why this mermaid was crying. Probably because of something Bert did. Does this make drowning oneself easier or harder? Discuss. Oh, look where we all just accidentally ended up...! The park was still open for a couple of hours, but we were just here to take photo from across the water. In retrospect, I wish I'd gone in, considering what would happen the next day. But here, that just seemed like a waste of time, money, and effort. Bike lanes are complicated here. A sitty park across the bay. See what I did there? The same park, just at a smaller scale. Tampere was very pleasant to stroll around, and it seems like there are a lot of museums you could check out if you're there at not the wrong time. Incidentally, the name of this statue is "Memorial of the Shipwreck of Steamboat Kuru," in case that's not obvious. Okay, just two more parks to go! (And then like two or three more updates after that.)

Echoing what Bert said. Hopefully it was insured in a way that will allow the park to rebuild it fairly quickly.