A blonde once got lost near a river. She traveled up and down it searching for a way to get to the other side.
She tried walking in the shallow part of the river, and she even tried grabbing onto a branch that stretched half way across the river to try to swing to the other side. No matter how hard she tried she couldn't get across.
After many failed attempts, she finally felt like giving up. Yet, at the last moment, she saw a person walking by and decided to follow her--across the bridge.
After picking her son up from school one day, the mother asks him what he did at school. The kid replies, "I had sex with my teacher." She gets so mad that when they get home, she orders him to go straight to his room.
When the father returns home that evening, the mother angrily tells him the news of what their son had done. As the father hears the news, a huge grin spreads across his face. He walks to his son's room and asks him what happened at school, the son tells him, "I had sex with my teacher." The father tells the boy that he is so proud of him, and he is going to reward him with the bike he has been asking for.
On the way to the store, the dad asks his son if he would like to ride his new bike home. His son responds, "No thanks Dad, my butt still hurts."
Okay, I'll chime in with my recent favorite inappropriate joke.
One day, a farmer found that his chickens had fallen into a large pit on his property. He goes and gets his Mercedes, ties a rope to the car, and backs the car to the edge of the pit, but no matter what he does, he just can't get the chickens out of the pit.
Having a different idea, he goes and gets his best mustang. Now, this mustang had a gigantic penis, the biggest of any horse on the farm. So the horse straddles the pit, and the chickens grab on and the horse is able to get them out.
Moral of the story? If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a Mercedes to pick up chicks!
“If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?”
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