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Posted

Because printing all of that legalese can deplete the world of paper if they print in at a readable size, except in the U.S. and Puerto Rico, and only on days ending in "day." Your mileage may vary, your experience may be subject to delays by TSA agents. Type of aircraft is subject to change. Power is in wattage, and wood pieces are cut across the grain.

 

What happens to finger nail clippings that go into a landfill?

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Posted

They lie sad and forgotten...unless they're between eight and ten inches, in which case they will go on to become a rock icon and have their own version of Tap Tap Revenge.

 

What happens if you pour antifreeze into a freezer?

Posted

The same guy had MPD, and in one he was a German science geek and in the other a boatman from Missouri. They traveled between the two places by a teleporter invented by the Einstein personality, and Mark Twain wrote books for his other self to read until Mark Twain died. The Einstein part of him died in 1955 without any books to read for fun.

 

Why does Hollywood like digging up a bunch of old actors and throwing them into a new movie based off of a series when the original series was better?

Posted

Because everyone knows that old people rule!

 

 

According to a spam message I got a while back on my email, a majority of men have a far below average penis size. Think about this for a moment, how is this possible?

Posted

Because those people are like that person who married a ride and sees them as living and breathing objects---which, of course, we all know they are...

 

Why aren't any of the TPR Taiko smilies yellow or green?

Posted

Because their eyes are slanted upward, giving them a more positive look on things.

 

What would happen if you painted a room with maple syrup mixed into the paint?

Posted

To minimize the damage and keep their insurance rates affordable.

 

Why do some vegetables and fruits have an outer peel, and some don't?

Posted

Dollar signs with a / through them. But a happy /.

 

However did those hand powered cutting tools become known as "scissors," and why shouldn't you run with them?

Posted

They're named after the paper-cutting lord "Czizhorhess" (Sizz-Oress). Running with them would summon the demons within them.

 

Why do clowns continue to exist even though they scare children? Isn't there a place for people like that?

Posted

Because having Braille on them makes them ADA compliant.

 

Why don't they have elevators that move left, right, forward, and backward?

Posted

Willy Wonka's still got the patent hold on them.

 

Why can't people stop calling people from England British? The British empire hasn't existed for decades! And why is it always English or British? Is there something wrong with United Kingdomese?

Posted

Because its called the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, or for short, United Kingdom, UK or Britain. People born in Britain can refer to themselves as British, as well as the nationality for whichever of the countries they are from. The UK passport describes people from the UK as British citizens. The British Empire does not exist anymore, but the Commonwealth of Nations (formerly British Commonwealth) still exists. Therefor, British is in fact the technically correct term.

 

So why are white London gang kids trying to speak like Bob Marley these days?

Posted

Because Bob Marley is a lot cooler than white London gang kids---and they know it.

 

How did 36-24-36 come to be considered "perfect" measurements for a woman's figure?

Posted

Because the numbers add up to 96...which, when connected to letters of the alphabet, spell IE. So obviously, it was all Microsoft's doing!

 

If America has an East Coast and a West Coast, why isn't the area bordering the Gulf of Mexico called the South Coast?

Posted (edited)

It's called the 'Gulf Coast' just like the East is sometimes called the 'Atlantic Coast' and the West is sometimes called the 'Pacific Coast.'

 

What if someone died in their living room?

Edited by FeelTheFORCE
Posted

Then that's one less person you'll have to invite for Thanksgiving.

 

The Disney character Pluto was named for the smallest planet. Now that Pluto is no longer considered a planet, what should they do with Pluto the dog?

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