Sexual Orientation

[Gmaster562]

I wonder how long it will take for it to stop feeling weird to say I'm gay?

 

To be honest, it really just depends on who your family is. For instance, my mom still asks me if i'll have a "traditional" marriage

... Whatever that means.

 

By the sounds of it, it shouldn't take long for your peers to get comfortable.

[jmicha]

Same as these people have said, it doesn't take long. I came out when I was 18 a few weeks after getting to college and it probably took me 3 months to really start being comfortable saying it. It may take a bit longer for some other aspects of living as a gay man such as being able to openly talk about someone you find attractive. I remember the first time I said a guy was hot around my friends they all stopped and the one was like, "it's about time!" haha. But like others have said, it may be different for you as it's a different experience for everyone. Hopefully your process is a good one

[alilstronger]

I never felt weird to say I was gay. I just always knew I was going to be so I accepted it early in high school. Once I finally came out at 17 being a senior in high school I just felt better about myself that people knew. I already knew my family would not care nor my friends. Almost every single person I told was like "ok, we are glad you see it because we all always did". I guess I have always been kinda obvious.

[GayCoasterGuy]

I'd just like to say I came out to my roommate, my Mom and my Sister this last Thanksgiving.

I'm happy to say that it has become a non issue since then I I couldn't feel happier that is has.

 

Congrats!

 

I wonder how long it will take for it to stop feeling weird to say I'm gay?

 

I've found it has gotten less and less a deal over the years. When someone asks me "do you have a girlfriend?" sometimes I'll say "I don't date girls." And with the typical "are you married?" I can always say "no, I don't have the right to marriage." You know, through in a monkey wrench - let them figure it out. Keeps things interesting and honest; maybe even a little funny!

 

Of course, I don't mind wearing the word *gay* either. It's important to me to be out (for myself) - kinda like "it's no big deal, but yeah, I am..."

Edited January 14, 2013 by GayCoasterGuy

[bert425]

oh, and I should also add, that you don't HAVE to tell anyone.

 

that's completely up to you.

 

I thought Jodie Foster's non-outing confirmation last night at the Golden Globes to be just beautiful.

 

it was a bit of a rambling speech, but here's what I'd consider the *key* part:

 

by JodieFoster

"I hope that you're not disappointed that there won't be a big coming out speech tonight. I already did my coming out about a thousand years ago, back in the stone age ... When a fragile young girl would open up to trusted friends, and family and co-workers, and then gradually and proudly to everyone who knew her, to everyone she actually met."

 

Yet these days, she went on, "I'm told that every celebrity is expected to honor the details of their private life with a press conference, a fragrance and primetime reality show."

 

"You guys might be surprised, but I am not 'Honey Boo Boo Child,'" she said. "I'm sorry, that's just not me. It never was, and it never will be. But please don’t cry, because my reality show would be so boring."

[GayCoasterGuy]

Even though many of us suspected Jodie Foster to be family, it is great to hear she confirmed it. I love the movie "Foxes" from 1980 (good thing this is the Random forum!) She stars in that with Cherie Currie of the Runaways (the band she was in with Joan Jett and Lita Ford.) Really great retro stuff. All those old 70s/early 80s movies make me think how much I would like to travel back and go ride some coasters then!

[bert425]

Even though many of us suspected Jodie Foster to be family, it is great to hear she confirmed it. I love the movie "Foxes" from 1980 (good thing this is the Random forum!) She stars in that with Cherie Currie of the Runaways (the band she was in with Joan Jett and Lita Ford.) Really great retro stuff. All those old 70s/early 80s movies make me think how much I would like to travel back and go ride some coasters then!

 

and you DO know that Joan is family too?

 

(and used to "date" Cherie (who is Bisexual)).

 

small world sometimes, huh?

 

 

the book that Cherie wrote about the Runaways ("Neon Angel") is a fascinating read.

[GayCoasterGuy]

and you DO know that Joan is family too?

 

(and used to "date" Cherie (who is Bisexual)).

 

small world sometimes, huh?

 

 

the book that Cherie wrote about the Runaways ("Neon Angel") is a fascinating read.

 

You bet I know Joan well! As a fan, anyway. Another person who makes me feel pride in being gay, and an American. I ran out and got Neon Angel right when it came out, loved it. The Runaways are one of my all-time favorite bands. Those records (CDs) are timeless (even though the last one is considered a *dud*). I've seen Joan live many times - she just played here in Chicago a couple years ago, right after the Runaways movie came out (I went to see that 4 times! Once wasn't enough, just like coasters!) She did 4 Runaways songs, which is very rare for her (aside from Cherry Bomb, I guess...)!

 

Yup, lots of connection in the world, good stuff!

[darklingscribe]

Thanks for all the support here.

 

I know it will take me a while to get used to being out, but I do already feel a huge chunk of stress I had a long as I could remember slowly dwindling. I've already noticed that I've lost some weight.

[Gilly]

Well, I'm straight, but it surprises me, that there are more gays than girls around here

[Wes]

Well, I'm straight, but it surprises me, that there are more gays than girls around here

 

Welcome to the magical world of roller coaster enthusiasts.

[Punkie]

I'm a girl! (who likes boys and girls, for the record)

 

Well, I'm straight, but it surprises me, that there are more gays than girls around here

It took me by surprise to discover that too.

 

My big brother's gay and I grew up amongst a number of gay friends, so sexuality has never been an issue for me. I was actally quite far into my teens (16-17 probably) before I discovered it was really an issue anywhere. I guess I was quite a sheltered child. I've never officially come out as bisexual to my family, although most of my friends know. I have a boyfried who seems to enjoy it when I bring up a hot girl. I guess the topic will come up if I ever need it to. It's not like I'm hiding it. I understand how hard it can be for some people and I hope they find supportive friends.

[jynx242]

Thanks for all the support here.

 

I know it will take me a while to get used to being out, but I do already feel a huge chunk of stress I had a long as I could remember slowly dwindling. I've already noticed that I've lost some weight.

 

I am so happy for you!!! Trust me - you will feel better and better about it and the stress releif is out of this world.

 

Glad to have you as an official "part of the family."

 

David

[Zem]

I'm amazed there are more Hoosexuals the Hobosexuals on this site. I thought most people found Hobos to be more attractive than owls I'm straight but I'm friends with several girls who are gay although I don't know any gay guys

[GayCoasterGuy]

although I don't know any gay guys

 

You probably know a few gay guys but don't realize it. Not everyone... tacks it on to the start of their screen name or anything

[Zem]

although I don't know any gay guys

 

You probably know a few gay guys but don't realize it. Not everyone... tacks it on to the start of their screen name or anything

 

Well I know several gay guys at my school but I'm just happen not to be friends with any. I dislike that there is the one guy on my bus though who is ALWAYS talking about how he is gay just for attention. It just gets really annoying. I don't think that sexual orientation is something that people need to make into a big deal.

[ArundelHigh Coasters]

I'm straight, I don't have anything against LGBT though. One of my really good friends from school is a trans., one is bi, and another is a lesbian.

[bert425]

although I don't know any gay guys

 

You probably know a few gay guys but don't realize it. Not everyone... tacks it on to the start of their screen name or anything

 

Well I know several gay guys at my school but I'm just happen not to be friends with any. I dislike that there is the one guy on my bus though who is ALWAYS talking about how he is gay just for attention. It just gets really annoying. I don't think that sexual orientation is something that people need to make into a big deal.

 

as long as there are not equal rights?

 

yeah, it needs to be made into a big deal.

 

I realize you are young, but did you know that my partner and I, who have been together 9 years, and own a House together, cannot file our taxes together? nor can I leave him anything untaxed in my Will. Nor do I have any right to visit him, or make any medical decisions for him in terms of treatment/medical care (god forbid)if something were to happen that required hospitalization?

 

those are just a few rights -- of the top of my head -- that I don't have.

 

but if you were to go to Vegas, meet a girl, and marry her that night? You'd have all of those rights immediately.

 

so yeah. . until things change? Yep. .it's a big deal.

 

Visibility = acceptance

acceptance = rights.

[GayCoasterGuy]

^Thank you, well said. For many, they don't see the big deal (including many TLBG folks themselves, which is always work in progress) because they haven't lived it. The old saying "until you walk a mile in their shoes" really holds.

 

Then, of course, I hear many people saying "no big deal" because they think it should be no big deal and are sympathizing with the struggle. Semantics/meaning or something... communication can be funny

[coasterfreak101]

Nor do I have any right to visit him, or make any medical decisions for him in terms of treatment/medical care (god forbid)if something were to happen that required hospitalization?

 

Not sure if you realized, but back in 2010 Obama mandated that any hospital receiving funding through a federal program (Medicare or Medicaid) has to extend visitation and care decision rights to gay couples. So we do get that much at least! For now.

[bert425]

Nor do I have any right to visit him, or make any medical decisions for him in terms of treatment/medical care (god forbid)if something were to happen that required hospitalization?

 

Not sure if you realized, but back in 2010 Obama mandated that any hospital receiving funding through a federal program (Medicare or Medicaid) has to extend visitation and care decision rights to gay couples. So we do get that much at least! For now.

 

not Valid in Texas (nor do they recognize any benefit from Marriage in other states (DOMA is the excuse they use, but when that is eventually overturned, you can expect Texas Attn General to fight for State rights to deny Gay couples).

 

 

Heck, just yesterday, our "wonderful" idiot. . . I mean. . "Governor" came out in favor of the Boy Scouts keeping their ban on Gay Scouts/Leaders (since the BSA are indicating public pressure has *finally* forced them to reconsider their discriminatory policies.

 

our State Leader -- who didn't make enough of an ass of himself while attempting to run for President -- seems to think that "teaching Sexuality has no place in the Boy Scouts" (which of course, any rational person knows is NOT at all what this is about, and allowing a gay scout to participate, has nothing at all to do with teaching sexuality in any way shape or form"

 

lovely, isn't it?

 

but that is exactly why we need to stay as visible as possible, or at least as visible as one is comfortable with.

 

Heck, I absolutely applaud both Jodie Foster (for her speech at the Golden Globes) as well as Jim Nabors (for marrying his partner of 38! years this week). Yes, I think it would have been better for both of them to have officially "come out" years earlier. . they could have influenced a whole generation of minds who grew up watching them on TV & Film. . . but the fact that both of them are basically out? Is only a good thing.

 

My Mom even called me to talk about Nabors (she's a huge fan of his Hymns albums)

[Philrad71]

^Really makes you realize how much further we have to go in this country.

 

Luckily, NY and PA have both been very liberal to my partner and I. Being that I am #1 on his health care proxy, I never had any problem with them letting me visit him when his appendix ruptured during surgery and he was in ICU for over a week in 2010. When the local hospital realized that he needed to be transported to a hospital in Erie, PA, I was a bit nervous about him going to a hospital in PA knowing that they are not quite as liberal with their laws. I honestly don't recall the Obama mandate passing before this happened, so wasn't sure what to expect.

 

The nice thing was that they never even asked to see the health care proxy (which I brought with me each visit). I just told him who I was and they just told me the room # and said "Sure, go on in...he's been asking about you and really wants to see you!"

 

As much as I whine about taxes in this state, it is nice to see them as one of the states that has become much more accomodating for gays than several other states. And the hospital in PA just blew me away with how accommodating & friendly their staff was during my visits!

[GayCoasterGuy]

"teaching Sexuality has no place in the Boy Scouts" (which of course, any rational person knows is NOT at all what this is about, and allowing a gay scout to participate, has nothing at all to do with teaching sexuality in any way shape or form"

 

Drives me crazy when people equate sexual orientation to sexuality; it's confusing, because obviously they have something in common, but most people have a sexual orientation even if they never have sex. It's like: eye color, skin color, height, sexual orientation. Just b/c it has the word sexual in it.... doesn't have to mean explicitly sex. Like when people speak of what "sex" they are, doesn't mean they are speaking about the subject of sex. I dunno if I'm even making sense to myself at this point

 

Same goes when people mistakenly use the term sexual preference, which is something completely different than sexual orientation.

 

^I'm sorry to hear about all that nonsense going on in Texas, I really like Texas. Give em time, "love em anyway," they don't know any better. Fear and stuff...

[alilstronger]

This is totally random but this is my new song after hearing a drag queen perform it this past weekend at Town in DC.

 

[Zem]

I don't think that sexual orientation is something that people need to make into a big deal.

 

as long as there are not equal rights?

 

yeah, it needs to be made into a big deal.

 

I realize you are young, but did you know that my partner and I, who have been together 9 years, and own a House together, cannot file our taxes together? nor can I leave him anything untaxed in my Will. Nor do I have any right to visit him, or make any medical decisions for him in terms of treatment/medical care (god forbid)if something were to happen that required hospitalization?

 

those are just a few rights -- of the top of my head -- that I don't have.

 

but if you were to go to Vegas, meet a girl, and marry her that night? You'd have all of those rights immediately.

 

so yeah. . until things change? Yep. .it's a big deal.

 

Visibility = acceptance

acceptance = rights.

 

I was talking about on a personal level rather that gay rights. I'm all for anyone of any sexuality having the same privleges and not being cast out because of one small part of what a person is. I was also refering to how in society a majority of people make being gay into some huge horrible thing. People need to just calm down and realize that sexual orientation isn't something that should be a huge political debate but that's what it has turned into. What I should've said was that I wish we weren't in a possition to where it needs to be made into a big deal and that nobody really cared about things like sexuality, skin color, ect. But alas we do not live ina world with full of rainbows and happiness for all and discrimination is still a major problem on both a governmental and social level.

Edited February 6, 2013 by Zem