Stitch Posted October 4, 2005 Author Posted October 4, 2005 Surgeon : "So ... can we have your Liver?"
Teddymonster Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 "[Ding-Ding] Bring out your dead!" Short and sweet... 8)
PhishyBrewer Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 "Wish I was a girly. Just like my old papa! I cut down trees, I sing and jump. I like to press wildflowers" You have to love the Lumber Jack song
Token Yankee Guy Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 (edited) Brian: Are you the Judeian People's Front? Reg: F**k off...we're the People's Front of Judea Edited October 5, 2005 by Token Yankee Guy
Nrthwnd Posted October 5, 2005 Posted October 5, 2005 "And now, for something completely different....
Stitch Posted October 6, 2005 Author Posted October 6, 2005 Roman soldiers march out of a room : "We found this spoon sir!" Roman commander : "Very good."
Damien666 Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 From the Meaning of Life Doctor: This is the machine that goes PING! Holy Grail: For a moment, it seemed King Arther and his men were doomed. Thankfully, the animator had a fatal heart attack! *animator falls over*
FlyingScooter Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 Meaning of Life: He's been Sacked??? C'mon boys! Let's get 'em! As we sail the wide accountant seas.
phazan Posted October 7, 2005 Posted October 7, 2005 guy: bring out your dead! bring out your dead! bring out your dead! other guy:im not dead yet! different guy: shut up! your not fooling anyone!
Nrthwnd Posted October 10, 2005 Posted October 10, 2005 "Finland, Finland, Finland, what a beautiful time..." "I said, ENGLAND." ".....ooohhh..." (Or words to that effect....)
phazan Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 ''its just a little bunny! you made me soil my armor!'' ''oh go change your armor!''
AllisonY2K Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 from The Holy Grail "did you dress her up like this?" "no. no. no. no.....yes. yes. a bit. a bit. we did do the nose." "the nose?" "...and the hat. but she does got a wart!" *points to wart* --------------------------- oh! oh! oh! and these from the tv show: (Tobaccanist sketch) "I will not buy this record, it is scratched" "my hovercraft is full of eels." "would you like to come back to my place? bouncy bouncy?" "if I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me? I am no longer...infected." "please fondle my..buttocks."
AllisonY2K Posted October 11, 2005 Posted October 11, 2005 ok and one more from The Holy Grail: Castle Anthrax! DINGO: Oh, I am afraid our life must seem very dull and quiet compared to yours. We are but eight score young blondes and brunettes, all between sixteen and nineteen and a half, cut off in this castle with no one to protect us! Oh, it is a lonely life -- bathing, dressing, undressing, knitting exciting underwear.... .... DINGO: Oh, wicked, bad, naughty, evil Zoot! Oh, she is a naughty person, and she must pay the penalty -- and here in Castle Anthrax, we have but one punishment for setting alight the grail-shaped beacon. You must tie her down on a bed and spank her! GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking! DINGO: You must spank her well. And after you have spanked her, you may deal with her as you like. And then, spank me. VARIOUS GIRLS: And spank me. And me. And me. DINGO: Yes, yes, you must give us all a good spanking! GIRLS: A spanking! A spanking! DINGO: And after the spanking, the oral sex. GIRLS: The oral sex! GALAHAD: Well, I guess I could stay a BIT longer. ..... LAUNCELOT: We were in the nick of time, you were in great peril. GALAHAD: I don't think I was. LAUNCELOT: Yes you were, you were in terrible peril. GALAHAD: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril. LAUNCELOT: No, it's too perilous, we've got to find the Holy Grail. GALAHAD: Well, let me have just a little bit of peril? LAUNCELOT: No, it's unhealthy. GALAHAD: Bet you're gay! LAUNCELOT: No, I'm not.
socalMAN123 Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 "What are you going to do, bleed on me?" "One, two, five, I...I mean three!" This is awesome! ---Brent 8)
RBOrrell Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 customer. "Is this the right room for an arguement?" Mr. Barnard. "I've told you once" c. "No you haven't" B. "Yes I have" c. "No you haven't" B. "I have" c. "No you have not" B. "Oh, I'm sorry is this a 5 minute argument or the full half-hour?" =============================== Piliate "I have a vrerry grweat frwiend in Wrome called Biggus Dickus" =============================== Patsy. "It's only a model" ===============================
AllisonY2K Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 "..in the winter time, they were forced to eat Robin's minstrels." *chewing sound* "..and there was much rejoicing." (yaay! yaay!)
smells_like_team_disney Posted October 12, 2005 Posted October 12, 2005 Ahhh, good stuff. King of Swamp Castle: You only killed the bride's father, you know. Sir Lancelot: Well, I didn't mean to. King of Swamp Castle: Didn't mean to? You put your sword right through his head. Sir Lancelot: Oh dear... is he all right?
AllisonY2K Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 best part ever of the movie was during the beginning credits: "A møøse once bit my sister." GUARD #1: Not to leave the room even if you come and get him. FATHER: No, no. Until I come and get 'im. GUARD #1: Until you come and get him, we're not to enter the room. FATHER: No, no, no. You stay in the room and make sure 'e doesn't leave. ... GUARD #1: Right. Oh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if, uh, if-if-if we... FATHER: Yes, what is it? GUARD #1: Oh, I remember. Uh, can he leave the room with us? ... GUARD #1: Right, we'll stay here until you get back. FATHER: And, uh, make sure he doesn't leave. GUARD #1: What? FATHER: Make sure 'e doesn't leave. GUARD #1: The Prince? FATHER: Yes, make sure 'e doesn't leave. GUARD #1: Oh, yes, of course. I thought you meant him. Y'know, it seemed a bit daft, me havin' to guard him when he's a guard. FATHER: Is that clear? GUARD #2: Hic! GUARD #1: Oh, quite clear, no problems. FATHER: Right. [starts to leave] Where are you going? GUARD #1: We're coming with you. FATHER: No no, I want you to stay 'ere and make sure 'e doesn't leave. GUARD #1: Oh, I see. Right.
Stitch Posted October 13, 2005 Author Posted October 13, 2005 Old lady: Well, I don't like all this sex on the television! I *mean*, I keep falling off!
thunder001 Posted October 13, 2005 Posted October 13, 2005 Say no more, say no more, nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Don't stand there gawging like youd never seen the hand of God before!!! What is your favorite colour? Red, no Blue aghhhhh...
FlyingScooter Posted October 14, 2005 Posted October 14, 2005 The Lord blessed us soooo much that i have to sell the lot of you for scientific experiments.
Nrthwnd Posted February 22, 2006 Posted February 22, 2006 Had to BUMP this immediately! "And now for something completely....repackaged." Found out, the remaining five members (bless you Graham Chapman) have put together their fave segments and MP moments, into a TV thing called: Monty Python's Personal Best It's on PBS starting tonight, and I'll quote from the Entertainment Weekly write-up... All five living Pythons picked their fave sketches and compiled a set for the late Graham Chapman. His and Eric Idle's air this week; the others, next week. The Chapman hour is terrific - a showcase for the dour-faced practicing physician's knack for portraying crusty military men and squawking fishwives. The Pythons reminisce frankly about Chapman's range as well as his alcoholism. Sometimes, the selections seem odd - what's Cleese's "Ministry of Silly Walks," in which Chapman doesn't appear, doing here? (Ir's implied he co-wrote it.) Idle's edition begins unpromisingly, with a desparately jokey, recently taped intro, but we soon see him in his prime. He specialized in fast-talking hustlers and roues, and he also utters the immortal line, "It's hot enough to boil a monkey's bum." The grade average for these two entries: A- (Ken Tucker) Y wsa! I'll be so there tonight, watching and enjoying.
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