805Andrew Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 How did the Canadian Border Patrol treat you guys? Did they search the buses? How did you get all that alcohol across? Did you guys just average one liter of alcohol per person so it was technically allowed? When I crossed the Canadian border last November (WA to BC on I-5) they asked me a million questions and did a full cavity search...of my car. True story.
fatdaddy Posted August 26, 2011 Author Posted August 26, 2011 ^^ Border crossing was no problem when you have Robb and Elissa to handle it, no search, just checked our passports. Canada/LaRonde, probably gonna be short and sweet, I was not a fan and did not take many pictures. I will make it work, and if I can't do that I'll make fun of Shawn. I'll try and throw it up tonight.
805Andrew Posted August 26, 2011 Posted August 26, 2011 ^^ Border crossing was no problem when you have Robb and Elissa to handle it, no search, just checked our passports. Canada/LaRonde, probably gonna be short and sweet, I was not a fan and did not take many pictures. I will make it work, and if I can't do that I'll make fun of Shawn. I'll try and throw it up tonight. They probably don't bother with tour buses. But with cars, that's another story. Looking forward to more TR
fatdaddy Posted August 28, 2011 Author Posted August 28, 2011 Ok LaRRRonnde, in my opinion the worst park of the trip. I mean the park itself was nice, but the ops and attitude in general just ruin the park experience. We got there, went through a back entrance, got out tickets and went into the park for morning ERT on Goliath and LeMonstre, really liked Goliath, I got both sides of LeMonstre during ERT, which was great because the lines were really long later in the day and the ride was not all that great. Did not get the kiddie coaster, did not really care, the boomerang was down, did not really care. It was hot, so I got a souvenir sports bottle, then found out that most of the places in the park did not fill them, I even went to one place that actually sold the bottles and they wouldn't fill it either! When I actually found a place that would fill it, they were out of diet, ERRRRR!!! I don't know what poutine was, and I don't want any. The stand up hurt my happy parts. LeVampire was awesome, aside from ERT the best part of the day. Ok then there was the line for the SLC, over an hour with a gold Qbot, WTF! We actually went back later and still probably waited half hour. Dragon was just weird. Lunch was ok, there was a cash bar, but after the alcohol exchange the thought of beer kinda made me ill. So, long story short, not my favorite park, but I still had a little fun and am glad I don't have to go back. Ok, pictures! As I said, not my favorite day of the trip, so I took very few pictures, and the ones I did take suck. I also had a hard time thinking of fun captions while thinking of LaRRRonde. So, probably the weakest entry of this NE Tour report, but the next installments should be good, I think, no promises. I always thought driving into hell would have more fire and lava. If I'm not mistaken they ended up tearing the tickets til the met in the middle like Lady and the Tramp. I think we all know who's the lady, and who's the tramp. "Keep in mind that Canadian bacon is ham!" I have no idea why she said that. LeMonstre is huge, and a huge disappointment, both sides. I swear this thing looked like it might fall off the track at any time, not to mention it had what looked like lawn chairs inside of it. Oh, and I think we at under that tent. Goliath was one of the better coasters on the trip, morning ERT was pretty awesome. I like how the lapbar handles make it feel like your crotch is controlling the direction of the coaster. I never felt more like a credit whore than I did waiting for this wild mouse, the line was long, the ops were slow, but I NEEDED the credit. I know you think this is a picture, but it's actually a video, the ride ops move so slow its like they are standing still. Standard beautiful park shot, as long as your not actually trying to ride anything it's kinda nice. This ride kicked a$$, I may have liked this better than Goliath. So not everything at LaRonde sucked. Fluffy fluffy groundhog filled with canadian bacon and poutine. In line for Dragon, which I'm pretty sure eats you and craps you out, but in the literal way, not in the El Toro way. I went outside the park for a look at the entrance, used my Six Flags pass to get back in. If you see this sign, just run, you don't wanna go through that gate. I guess you can drive your boat here, maybe, I dunno, who cares it's friggin LaRonde. Un oh, whore tax, this is gonna be expensive. Yay, let's get the hell outta french canadia! No LaRonde, your void! Food cures everything, except LaRonde, it still sucks. Rox dishes it out. Look out, that ethnic girl has a weapon! I'm joking, but seriously she'll shank you if you get outta line. I swear there was food on every flat surface in the place! It was a tight squeeze. Since the pizza tour, pizza is a religious experience for Kevin. There's been a lot of talk about how much beer was consumed during this trip, but I would wager that we drank an equal amount of soda pop. I can pretty much guess what Robb was eating. Ok, that does it for LaRonde, wish I had pictures of the alcohol exchange, but since I don't drink, I was not there...really.
paiging_jen Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Another awesome update. But only b/c I saw myself in one of the pictures.
Skycoastin Steve Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 Fluffy fluffy groundhog filled with canadian bacon and poutine.
cal1br3tto Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 I'd say you succeeded in thinking of fun captions.
Groteslurf Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 You are the funniest & coolest person on earth
Chrisrad Posted August 28, 2011 Posted August 28, 2011 The Marmot/Canadian groundhog caption will never be beaten. I don't have much to say about LAAA RRRROONde because you pretty much summed it up. I'm digging your Canobie photo quest of phallic and sexual innuendos/objects.
fatdaddy Posted August 29, 2011 Author Posted August 29, 2011 Ok, note to self: must include at least one pictures of Jen in the next report. Thanks for all the kind words, working on The Great Escape, I actually took quite a few pictures there, so It should be a decent report, and yes there's a few of Jen. Still waiting for the Chrisrad PTR. Enjoying Benny's report, alcohol exhchange update was epic! Thanks for checking out the report Laura, I won't have to tazer you now. Ok, back to work on the next install. P.S Skycoastin Steve, any time, any place frat boy!
Chrisrad Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 ^ It's coming.. I might have to do it at Starbucks or something because my wifi is almost as slow as dialup. Sometime this week for sure..
The Bebes Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 Fluffy fluffy groundhog filled with canadian bacon and poutine. I LOL'd! -Lady Bebe
Hang And Bang Posted August 29, 2011 Posted August 29, 2011 "Keep in mind that Canadian bacon is ham!" I can't quit laughing at that caption! Great TR!
fatdaddy Posted August 30, 2011 Author Posted August 30, 2011 ^Thanks. Um, ok, I really thought I was ready to post the next installment, but after looking at the captions I wrote, well, I must have been tired or maybe drinking at the time, cause those are not PG13. I'll have to work on it later.
sspaz1000 Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Great updates! I think you summed up LaRonde quite well.
Chroniq Posted August 30, 2011 Posted August 30, 2011 Caesar, this is the first and last time I give you a compliment but, this trip report is effing awesome. I laughed, I cried, I drank a beer, ate a dog, and laughed some more... Awesome. Chris "thinks this should be on the front page" Con
fatdaddy Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok, tried to upload and for some reason in the middle it comes back blank and I dunno where the report went. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.
Skycoastin Steve Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 ^It's done that to me before when the site times out. Usually if I hit the back button, the rest of the report is still there.
fatdaddy Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok, so let's try this again, I had a pretty good report written and started to upload and damn if it didn't get lost. Ok, here we go, The Great Escape, I was kinda numb by this point in the trip, so I don't really remember loading up on the bus in the morning. I don't remember the drive to the park, and I don't remember entering the park. For some reasons i think Piers was wearing Superman underwear, I don't know why I know this. One thing I do know is that Comet ERT was awesome, I rode as many times as I could during ERT. Lot's of airtime, fast and smooth, but still felt like a woodie. The park itself was small, a mix of old and new, but nothing like a Six Flags park. It has some decent rides, nice landscaping, a lot of little buildings and fairy tale stuff. We ate lunch, I remember Robb/Elissa saying that we were gonna leave early, some kinda surprise, I think I ate a hamburger. This is a park I would love to go back and visit again. Ok, pictures I was trying to get a picture of Jen and those people and buildings jumped in the shot. Another early morning, but TPR puts the E R T in early, or ertly. Feel free to put that on a T-shirt Robb. This doesn't look very "Six Flags" to me. Heading over to Comet for morning ERT. Look it's Jen. ERT was E R Tastic, quick somebody put that on a T-shirt. This woman has a mole growing on her shoulder that looks just like Robbs head. Had not been on one of these since they had one a Magic Mountain. It certainly looks fun, let's find out. Whitest Jamaicans ever! Kinda rough, a few stains, a little old, no back seat allowed, sounds like a bad date. Not very Six Flags. It was a hat day for Shawn. Most people don't know this, but Shawn keeps a emergency microwave burrito in his hat, true story. Wardrobe malfunction averted, hat day lives on! Total whore! If only there was a vehicle with the hull of a boat and the a$$ of a swan. Ok, break, don't worry, there's more and it gets worse.
fatdaddy Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok, let's get this done. As you can see, this coaster is "Primo". "Hi, Im Miss Kitty, and i run the home for alcoholic kittens. As you can see, these kittens are totally smashed." Please donate and help kittens like this one, who loves Jager and won't stop singing Lady Gaga. Here at The Great Escape, we put our hangin' meat on display. Turns out this steak is vegan, it's made out of wood, but then all vegan meat tastes like sawdust. It's very important to teach your children the joys of nice bloody steak at an early age. "Yes son, the cows soul went to heaven, but it's tastey tastey body is still here so daddy can have a Whopper." No, I'm just here to check on her grandmother...really! I have no idea how that lace got torn from her dress. Come on red riding hood, tell um I'm innocent! No really, she was a statue, so I could feel her up all I want, er...moving on. Ever been Googled by a man on a bike in public? I liked the theming, and the ride was so slow that you actually had time to see it. Not only does this ride have some sexy curves, but it also has two asses. Donkeys? Mules maybe? You've heard of the helix of death, well this is the lifthill of boredom. Yes steamin', as in pile of sh... I really don't remember much about this coaster except that it sucker punched me. Go Fast pass line, cause we know the pain is coming and we'd like to get it over with quickly. These are experienced coaster riders, judging by the looks on their faces, they know what's coming. Any park that has Sasquatch as a mascot has to be awesome. Follow this magical trail of giant M&M's to a land of obesity and diabetis. Kidding, I love M&M's, the peanut kind, cause the peanuts make um health food. Very scenic. Ok, lunch break, one more upload to come.
fatdaddy Posted August 31, 2011 Author Posted August 31, 2011 Ok, food cooking, lemme see if I can finish this before it's done. Lot's of airtime. Comet was one of my trip highlights, really was not expecting it to be so awesome.. A little village, there are no little people...because I murdered them! Just kidding, a cat actually ate them, true story. There was a cave behind this waterfall. Being an old fat guy, I can tell you, ANYTHING is better than running! Since you don't give credit, what'll you give me for deez nuts? The cave behind the waterfall, not the first time I've gone into a musty dark hole. Not quite as wet inside as I thought it was gonna be. Lemme see, what's that woman's name, oh yeah...Steve! The train, if you couldn't tell, I like riding it from behind, true story. Beautiful landscaping, or as I like to call it, weeds. I counting both of these tracks as credits, and that yellow water coaster too! I think Ray Bowers body is somewhere over here. I wish someone would supervise those children on the bridge! Insert random Disney Jungle Boat Ride joke here. I'd like to say the train was themed, but really it looks more like random junk littered the side of the track. Look, an egg boy, let's eat him! I figure if we boil his head, we can throw his brain away like a yolk. I thought that was the dragons tongue, turns out he was eating the bloody foot of some kid who wondered off the train, true story I only went on this bridge to get a picture of the train, really. What a croc! LOL! It's funny cause it's a crocodile! Whatever, moving on. Random train shot. Wow, this is a very long train wreck! Ok, that's it for The Great Escape, but the day was not over, there's more! Ok, I don't have that part done, but it'll be up soon enough.
paiging_jen Posted August 31, 2011 Posted August 31, 2011 I don't want this thread to ever end! And yay for 3 pictures!
Chroniq Posted September 1, 2011 Posted September 1, 2011 I'm pretty sure someone was drinking during the creation of the last few captions, but can we hire you to caption our baby album? please?
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