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Posted
So I was thinking I undersell myself. Look at all the good I do for people. I'm giving myself a 30% raise.

Is the video done yet?

 

--Robb "If not then you only get 25%!" Alvey

Posted

Well...GUY...I must say...I GUESS...you deserve your 30% raise...30% in raising a BS Topic! Oh DENI3D

 

Wow...that was dumb...

 

-Ryan "What Movie...Spindle Movies?" King

Posted

Oddly enough, there was a Meteornotes board meeting the other day, and there was a vote to award me a 30% raise. Of course, the other two board members are my cats, and I think at least one of them was wacked out of their skull on catnip at the time, and they slept through most of my 90 minute PowerPoint presentation on why I rule, so the vote might be a bit suspect...

 

dt

Posted

^ Something tells me said presentation would be a riot.

 

Oh, and Guy, you only get the 30% raise if you TATTOO my name across your arse, none of this taping it on a Speedo nonsense!

Posted

Sounds good to me, Dave. Derek's Gardenhose Kingdom is having their year end meeting in a few weeks and I totally am going to have myself a 60 minute Powerpoint (complete with the cool sounds!) on just why I am so awesome. In addition, there shall be Excel spreadsheets, a slideshow, and I've even hired Rick Sebak to narrate the documentary "Derek, Awesomer than ever thought possible". Factor in the overwhelming response to "Derek and a Broad Sword" on NBC and not only should I get a 30% raise, but also a nice quarterly bonus AND a few more cases of beer into my monthly salary.

Posted

Interesting. I just gave myself a 30% raise last quarter.

 

My profits were up, expenses were down, shed some pounds from my ass, got a new haircut. Now you can tell by the way I walk, I'm a ladies man, got no time to talk. I'm dead sexy....for that 30%.

 

Guy is at least as full of machismo as me...I say no less than 31%.

Posted

Thank you all for having fun and posting to the dumbest thred ever!

 

My board of directors have reviewed my past achievements and agreed that I have indeed had a stellar year. Alana says progress on the video is going nicely and I have been allowed to go to Florida. January thinks I am the greatest and deserves much more, however would rather spend the other 70% raise portion on a hello kitty helicopter. Jarett thinks that he was treated rather harshly regarding the whole "trying to drive the car down the street," thing. So he was the only nay. The rabbits are just happy to be fed, so they were a lock. As for Hercamer and Chaos, they thought that I went above and beyond the call of duty rescuing a small chihuahua in traffic on Victory Blvd. So they tried to get me a 10 year contract extention as well as stock options. When they were denied this motion, they immediately voted in the positive for my raise and said, "We tried."

 

Thank you all for your constant support and we are going to have a great 2007.

Posted

Considering that the politicians in Washington, D.C., in all their infinate wisdom, thought that a 2% raise for the American soldier taking all the brunt and pain on this war on terror to be more than adequate. I make the motion that you get an another 30% raise on the condition that you remind the people who run this country that the troops and their families are paying the ultimate price on this politicians' war.

Posted
Considering that the politicians in Washington, D.C., in all their infinate wisdom, thought that a 2% raise for the American soldier taking all the brunt and pain on this war on terror to be more than adequate. I make the motion that you get an another 30% raise on the condition that you remind the people who run this country that the troops and their families are paying the ultimate price on this politicians' war.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Our countrys 2 most underpaid, and valuable positions are teachers and military service personell. Strippers are a close third.

 

Keep yourself safe over there. Hopefully in November we can re-gain controll of our government and get you home soon. If we don't, you can probably expect to be re-deployed to Iran or N. Korea soon. So you at least got that going for ya.

 

Keep the faith bro.

Posted

Afghanistan is not as bad as Iraq, but there are days when I don't know the difference. Although I'm a Combat Enginner, I work in my unit's air section, processing air missions to move soldiers and cargo. Many of my friends are out in combat areas and it's stressful whenever we have to fly wounded or killed soldiers. I usually don't hear the names until later and I'm constantly worried that it will be someone I know. Already one friend has been killed. I pray that no more of my friends will die, but I'm only a third of the way through my deployment.

 

And the way this world is going, I will not be surprised if I get deployed to Iran or Korea--irregardless as to whoever wins the elections. These upstart countries just don't understand that everbody loses in a nuclear war. Unfortunately, we'll have to use force to keep it from happening. (Peace treaties and UN Sanctions will not work. Period.)

 

 

 

Anyways, back to the discussion about your raise. Since you got the Board in your pocket, why not press for the funding of a TPR amusement park. All the best rides and resturants in one location. What do you think?

Posted
Considering that the politicians in Washington, D.C., in all their infinate wisdom, thought that a 2% raise for the American soldier taking all the brunt and pain on this war on terror to be more than adequate. I make the motion that you get an another 30% raise on the condition that you remind the people who run this country that the troops and their families are paying the ultimate price on this politicians' war.

 

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Our countrys 2 most underpaid, and valuable positions are teachers and military service personell. Strippers are a close third.

 

Keep yourself safe over there. Hopefully in November we can re-gain controll of our government and get you home soon. If we don't, you can probably expect to be re-deployed to Iran or N. Korea soon. So you at least got that going for ya.

 

Keep the faith bro.

 

Oh no, Guy, Strippers are OVERPAID. Seriously, after only 2 days in the local club, I had spent my entire savings, sold everything I owned, and had my left arm reposessed. They didn't even play an entire song for the dances! Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr I have nothing and now I'm frustrated.

 

-James "Do you know how long it takes to type with only 1 hand??!?" Dillaman

Posted
Can I have five percent of it to buy a Frappucino?

 

Five percent wouldn't even be enough to buy a bobbin of thread from wal-mart.

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