cfc

Maybe the captain was channeling his inner Jack Sparrow.

I sometimes feel that people don't "get" this thread... Seriously, how is a Vekoma roller skater the "Worst Coaster Ever?" Besides, Zamperla kiddie coasters are much worse.

Well, everything old is new again . . . Even Tilt-a-Whirl fans have dreams.

I know what you're all wondering: Did they get the Mad Rats credit? Well, you're going to find out shortly. Unfortunately, we missed out on the "incredible magic sound" (whatever it may have been). But it certainly was intriguing. We also missed the park's stunt show: "Chendu Johnson vs. the People's Army in the Temple of Maya Catastrophe." (I imagine my translation isn't entirely accurate.) "Arr! Thar be no copyright issues to see here, mate! Just put yer rudder to this sign, sez I." I've included this picture because I've never see one of these rides before. (And it looks like something I wouldn't ride, anyway.) And, yes, there is another CARNY DISK-O! And it has a big line. "Zombie love ducky long time!" Here's the park's best haunted house. Here's another amusing English sign; at least, some of it is meant to be funny this time. Who knew that the Chinese were so into masked Mexican wrestlers? OK, who's ready to whack some elves? Hmm--I think Santa has been dipping a bit too much into the egg nog. "Wait until the fat guy coughs up our presents--then blow his head off and take the rest of his bag!" Wait! What's this? Could it be? Could it be? Oh please, oh please, oh please . . . (Merry Chinese Christmas, again)! Yes! Desperadoes! The cheesily awesome "cult" attraction! High Plains Drifter II: "WHO ARE YOU?" "I ain't Sheriff Springtorso." Hi, Piers. Who's your friend? Hmm--unless I miss my guess, there's a "haunt" around here someplace. It appears that my guess was correct. While we were waiting (yes, Chendu has staggered openings, too), this guy walked up. He was wearing a tank top and jeans, but he unlocked the haunt and put on this bloody "strait-jacket" in front of us. I presume that Disney would call this "bad show." "Elissa, your technique of removing mayonnaise using a French fry as a utensil is, indeed, impressive. But even you must admit that my kung fu is superior!" Again, I see no copyright violation whatsoever. My god! It's a Satanic Raccoon! Do not look into its eyes, lest you fall under its spell! "Too late! We must now do the Satanic Raccoon's bidding and blast these innocents in the face with water cannons!" "Well, to be truthful, we would've done this without the Satanic Raccoon's orders." OK, did everybody get that? We had time for a few more Mega-Lite rides--but we had to do stretching exercises before boarding. I had no idea that two people equaled one "column." What's this? Mad Rats is testing! (My thanks for Hanno for camping out in the area and alerting everyone he could contact.) Ka-ching on another Spinning Mouse at last! And, yes, it was a "breathtaking experience"--especially to those who had to run across the park to get the credit. I'll leave you with this shot of a legal, fully licensed Mickey Mouse molesting a young boy. That's all for Happy Valley Chendu--a very nice park, indeed.

Chapter 7: A Wetter, Happier Place than Beijing--Happy Valley Chendu The next couple of days in Chendu were a bit soggy, and the whole area smelled of wet panda fur. (Well, that's an exaggeration, but we we'll see a few wet pandas in the next chapter.) But even with the gloom and the drizzly rain, Happy Valley Chendu was a more enjoyable experience than its cousin in Beijing under blue skies and bright sunshine. Why? One word: Mega-Lite! Or two words, if you spell it without a hyphen. I'm going with the hyphen, because that's how Intamin spells it on their Web site. (Look it up if you don't believe me.) Thanks to TPR, I've now been on three of the four Mega-Lites operating today (I lack only the one in Japan). These coasters are a great way for a park to get the thrill of an Intamin Mega Coaster in a smaller footprint. Chendu's Dream of Mediterranean is yet another winner--full of airtime and intense, yet very re-rideable. Of course, the Intamin seatbelts can be a bit unforgiving for larger rides (this is my one knock against them)--but, hey, lap bars beat OTSRs any day! (Note that rcdb.com gives the name of this ride as "Fly Over Mediterranean"--well, a coaster by any other name . . .). Again, Robb and Elissa had arranged a filimg session to guarantee ERT on the Mega-Lite--thanks, again! The Mega-Lite is next door to another bona fide Vekoma SLC (Dragon in Clouds). I guess that's the difference between the Happy Valleys and other, smaller Chinese parks: real vs. knock-off SLCs. The park's Mine Train (yes, I know you're amazed that they have one of these) is also a nicely themed Vekoma ride, not a Golden Horse copy (Dragon in Snowfield). But for all you Golden Horse fans, there is a Spinning Mouse (Mad Rats). As I said earlier, China is Nirvana for haunted walk-through fans, and Chendu provides two (one is a bit lame to start but has a good finish, and the other is good from beginning to end). This was also our first chance at North Pole Adventure, a Sally shooting dark ride themed to Christmas as interpreted by evil, greedy children. And there's another shooting surprise--we'll get to that later. Let's have a look at Happy Valley Chendu. Weather has rendered the photos a bit gray and blurry, but despite the weather, we still had a great time here. Welcome to Paradise Plaza--Happy Valley Chendu's version of Downtown Disney or Citywalk, where dolphins frolic on wet grass (and, we hope, make it back to water before they die). Robb had one reason to call this place "paradise," while Elissa had two. (But like all the other Happy Valleys, once you exit the park, you have to pay for another ticket to get back in. This policy makes no sense to me at all.) There was some sort of magic festival going on at the Happy Valley parks while TPR was in China. I like the "Jules Verne" feel of the park's entrance. Then the park veers toward HG Wells and "Food of the Gods" with a terrifying giant ant! Yes, this is a real "duck," and visitors can ride in one across the park's lake. Here we are 'twixt Heaven and Hell. (Can you tell which is which?) What's interesting is that the Mega-Lite didn't pull a huge line over the course of the day. Maybe the rainy weather scared people off. I had no idea that I lived in the country of "NAFTA." Thanks for this valuable information, China. Mega-Lites deliver the thrills of Mega and Giga Coasters . . . . . . in a much smaller space. The ejector air on these rides is absolutely nuts, and Dream Over Mediterranean is no exception. Yep--nothing to hate about this. I'd say this was the first "world-class" coaster we'd ridden in China. Well, we have experienced Heaven . . . . . . now it's time for Hell! Satan often wears a smiling face. OK, I'm exaggerating a bit here. As SLCs go, this one was better than any Mind Eraser in the U.S. It was more "Kumali-like," but not as good as the ride at Flamingoland in the U.K. Everybody was now free to explore the rest of the park. Perhaps a few people followed this fellow in search of mozzarella-cheese-and-cranberry ice cream. Others sought out Mad Rats. (Oh no! Would we be denied another Spinning Mouse credit, this time due to rain? Too mortifying to contemplate!) There is still the Vekoma Mine Train, at least. If we can find the entrance. This turned out to be quite a challenge. The Nazi rocks were of no help at all. There are the dual lift hills, but where's the freakin' entrance? And so, weary as we were, we trudged on. Our quest is at an end! God be praised! Another memo to non-Disney American parks. Please note how a little theming can enhance an "average" family ride. Please give this some consideration. Thank you. Happy Valley pays tribute to Mil Mascaras: The Man of a 1,000 Masks. Lucha Libre! Like the park in Beijing, Happy Valley Chendu is very nicely themed . . . . . . but you still need to watch your step. Larry and I missed the ice house at Floraland, so we checked out this one with Elissa. It's a slight upcharge, and it has an ice slide (another additional charge of 5 yuan). One must be very reverential while in the ice temple. Looks like Buddha is freezing his butt off in here. Hmm--this parka is rather "slimming." Maybe I should buy one. Larry says, "Snow cold!" OK, just looking at Larry making that snow angel is making me feel chilly again. Time to move on. More to come.

The Scottish fried pizza intrigues me. Give my best to Lou.

^^Europa Park is good for everything.

Hmm--this is a tough call. I guess it's a tie between these three. Montezooma's Revenge at Knott's--I just love the intensity of the launch and the weightless feeling you get when you go backward up the spike. Mr. Freeze at Six Flags Over Texas--Premier launched shuttles are great (much more fun than the Intamin "Top Hat" style rides). This is actually pretty scary (especially that last little launch up the spike). Speed Monster at Tusenfryd--I much prefer the Intamin launchers when they have more than "one trick."

And well it should be.

I think some theming can go a long way in making a mediocre ride better. For example, Superman: Ultimate Flight (the B&M Flyer) is pretty lame when you're just swooping over a lawn or stretch of concrete. But have it flying through "mountain canyons" and through "cave" like Crystal Wing at Happy Valley Beijing, and the ride is more enjoyable. That being said, hyper- or giga-coasters don't lend themselves to theming--and they don't really need it.

Suspended Looping Coasters are always so darn photogenic--then you ride one, and you discover it's "Satan's Looping Coaster."

Alpengeist at Busch Gardens Williasmburg (my first inverted coaster, too).

^The scareactors roaming around BGW were trying harder to actually "scare" people, rather than just walking around and basically saying, "Look at how scary I am" (which was my impression of Universal). My biggest complaint about BGW's roaming hordes was that they all looked pretty much alike (for example, each werewolf looked like all the other werewolves).

It offers a view of SFMM. That does strain the definition of "spectacular" a bit.

^I've found that the front row is the best way to go if you absolutely have to ride Shockwave. Not sure if this will work for Apocalypse, though.

^That and the remarkable resemblance of those towers to Three Mile Island. Thanks for the clarification, Elissa.

I also tend to prefer physical effects to CGI projections; for example, I'd rather watch an old Ray Harryhausen movie than Jurassic Park (there's just something about the look and "feel" of stop-motion characters that I prefer). That being said, a I do enjoy a good mix of physical and projected effects in a ride (Spider-man at IOA does this very well).

This one . . . a little over an hour ago.

^Exactly. Although I prefer Coke products, I'll drink Pepsi products in a pinch (even though Sprite is much better than Sierra Mist)--in fact, for years at BGW, that was all you could get. Although I haven't "crunched the numbers" either, I haven't noticed any diminishment in in the number of people getting refills for souvenir cups since the chain switched to Coke.

Probably won't get back to KD this season, but my night rides last weekend on I305 were incredible. Still one of the top coasters in the world.

Checked out John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness last night. It's a bit muddled, but I give Carpenter credit for tackling complex questions about the nature of good and evil (God and the Devil) and the relationship of religion and science. But after an interesting start, it devolves into a fairly generic "zombie" flick. It was amusing seeing Alice Cooper, as a homeless guy, impale a hapless grad student with half a bicycle, though.

^I also think people were more blown away by the atmosphere of the place, plus the food offerings, which look really good.

But wouldn't eating a bit more around the world enable you to drink a bit more?

Based on this report, Singapore has definitely put Orlando to shame this year.

I couldn't get any decent pictures of the old, lousy Spin Bullet coaster when I was there in 2007, either. The new ride sounds like a distinct improvement. Joypolis is a fun place to spend an evening--their "Haunt" type attractions are very good. I thought the "dolls" attraction was great, even though I didn't understand the story.