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I think Sea Dog Cemetery is classifed as a "scare zone," but it's easily avoided. Evil clowns and freaky gypsies hang out on the bridge to Festa Dementia, too. Aye, it be strange that scurvy pyrates haunt a deserted petting zoo. "Kinky," sez you. Best be careful o' what ye pets there now, sez I. I'll probably there tonight myself (not "petting" anything, though)--might post a few fresh pictures. Chuck "Yeah, I got a BGW passport--what's it to ya?" Campbell

I'm not big on theme-park shows, myself, but Monster Stomp is probably the best at Howl-o-Scream, followed by Fiends at the Festhouse (which will sorely test your patience for 1980s pop), then Starfright Orchestra (which, in past years, has sorely tested my patience for 1970s and '60s pop). Haven't seen Witchie-poo and Pumpkin--gotta draw the line somewhere. Here's a bizarre little pic from last year's Nightmare Express train ride (the queue area).[/i] "You don't know the Lost Skeleton of Cadavra! But you will! You will!"

Busch Gardens Williamsburg kicked off Howl-o-Scream on September 16, so watch out for pirates in Banbury Cross, werewolves between Killarney and Aquitaine, and (shudder) yokels in overalls in New France. (Yes there's nothing more terrifying than New France's Apple Harvest Festival! Aghh! Scarecrows! The Harvest Queen! Apples! The horror! The horror . . .) OK, granted, BGW's Howl-o-Scream is no Knott's Scary Farm or Halloween Horror Night, but it's an event that passholders (like me) look forward to every year. It's a pretty good deal for day visitors, too--check out the park's usual attractions by day (including the excellent Curse of DarKastle), come back for Howl-o-Scream that night, all for the cost of a one-day admission. Here are some highlights for this year (no spoilers): Sea Dog Cemetery:Arghh, scurvy dogs and wanton wenches be hauntin' what used to be a pettin' zoo behind the skyride in Piratical Purgatory. No furry little bunnies here swab! Just the scum o' the sea, seekin' to grab the booty of an unsuspectin' wayfarer. Best be fantailin' yer booty through here like a broken jib in a storm, aye! DISENGAGE PIRATE MODE Curse of Pompeii:Get soaked on Escape from Pompeii by day, then explore the catacombs beneath by night. This one fits the definition of a typical theme-park attraction perfectly: You're touring an archeological dig, when something goes horribly wrong! (That is, ghouls, vermin, man-eating plants, and the usual fiendish laughter.) Last Laugh Industries: This fiendish factory tour is located in Festa Dementia. Yes, it's the old "clowns gone bad" scenario. Tell me--just when did clowns become the spawn of Satan? When I was a kid, I never found Emett Kelly or Bozo particularly threatening, but keep your eyes open for that adorable clown Barfo when you stroll this maze. Sleepless Hollow Manor: The Headless Horseman is back, and now that he's polished off Ichabod Crane, he's ready to party like it's 1699. See what happens when the Horseman crashes the Van Tassel harvest ball. (This maze is actually a rather clever nod by Busch at their failed Sleepy Hollow train ride a few Howl-o-Screams back. ) One big letdown--the Nightmare Express train ride is exactly the same as last year, only less so. Time to revamp this sucker, I think. All in all, Howl-o-Scream is worth a look if you're in the mid-Atlantic states in October (it usually ramps up as the month grinds on). The event runs Friday-Sunday until October 30 (the park's closed on weekdays). Saturday is usually pretty busy; Friday tends to be light.

Tell me, did the assaulter (or, if you prefer, "batterer"), shout, "And I'd a gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for you dadburn kids"? Perhaps this fellow (or "idiot," if you prefer) was a avid fan of the old Scooby show, which he used to watch while cramming his face full of Sugar Pops, Frosted Flakes, and Fruit Loops. You know, that stuff can give you flashbacks--it's the kiddie equivalent of the "brown acid" at Woodstock! Maybe this poor guy (or "rampaging lunatic," if you prefer) started believing that he was the "Miner 49er" ghost and that he had to take out Scoob.