cfc

Please answer the following questions before posting further: 1. Do you (or your parents, if applicable) have a car? If so, where do you keep the keys for it? 2. Do you have any valuable collections? If so, how valuable? 3. How much cash do you have on hand? Where do you keep it? 4. Trace outline of your house key here. 5. Please provide any other pertinent information here. There--that should do it. Better stop kidding around before I get in trouble. Please ignore all these questions--welcome aboard.

OK, here's another one I just got around to scanning--me and my parents on Test Track four years ago. Looks like the g forces have plastered our eyes shut. We're in front, by the way. Chuck "Well, the picture was free with our hotel package" Campbell So, does it go fast, Chuck?

And the swing chair provides him with his own personal simulator.

OMG people were stuck on a roller coaster :shock: Well, there is the danger of intense sunburn--or of being struck by lightning if a thunderstorm comes along. Still, "terror" seems a bit strong--"annoyance," that would make sense.

Soft-serve ice cream and baby back ribs at BGW (well, not at the same time). Their popcorn is too salty, though. Boysenberry pie at Knott's is pretty tasty, too.

I never understood why some parks in CA close for the winter. Granted it's colder, but it never gets cold enough where you couldn't enjoy a few coasters. It's not like how it is in the northeast where a lot of parks stay open practically up until the snow. The Bay Area tends to be rather foggy and damp in the winter. Not great theme-park weather.

Just seeking a bit of clarification, Lou. I often get my tongue tangled in my toes when I put my foot in my mouth.

Yeah, it was a mistake replacing the Roaring 20s with that generic "boardwalk" theme. Chuck "Missing the Wacky Soapbox Racers" Campbell

Flying Scooter is a great name for a blues singer, too. Nice job! Carnivorous Chuck

Here's a little ditty inspired by the presence of the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile in Williamsburg last week. A little explanation: the Colonial Parkway is the road that runs from Yorktown, past Williamsburg, to Jamestown Island. It's maintained and patrolled by the National Park Service. So, here is a song that can be taken, let's say, on a number of levels . . . “Williamsburg Wienermobile Blues” by “Carnivorous” Chuck Campbell Woke up the other day, Wienermobile parked in my driveway. Gonna drive it to work, baby. Gonna drive the office weenies berserk, baby! O, Wienermobile, Wienermobile. Got the Wienermobile Blues today. Think I’ll get on I-64, people. Drive these blues away. Backed out into the street. This wiener’s handlin’ ain’t too sweet! Cruised it down the highway, Little weenie cars got outta my way! Went to Mountain Mike’s coffee, To get my favorite cup ‘o’ brew. Barista lady stopped me, said My mobile wouldn’t fit in her drive thru! O, Wienermobile, Wienermobile! Got the Wienermobile Blues today. Think I’ll get on I-64, people. Drive these blues away. Pulled into the parking lot, And the boss was standin’ in my space! Said my Wienermobile was too much, Was disruptin’ the workplace! So I hit the Colonial Parkway, Just to chase away the clouds. Mr. Park Ranger pulled me over, and told me, “Commercial vehicles not allowed!” O, Wienermobile, Wienermobile! Got the Wienermobile Blues today. Think I’ll get on I-64, people. Drive these blues away. I finally hit the interstate, Gonna open that Wiener up all the way! But those damn SUV drivers with their cell phones, They were cloggin’ up the highway! So, I put the hammer down, Shot across all the lanes. Crashed that sucker in a ditch, And my Wienermobile went up in flames! O, Wienermobile, Wienermobile! Flames are burning my blues away. Guess I’ll have to walk on home, And I don’t need no mustard today! Write your own blues song today--it's a great way to blow off steam.

Might be "big whoop" to you, but it seems as though there are plenty of people on the board that might find this kind of thing interesting. I agree they need another coaster, but this isn't really a "thrill park" and personally, I kind of hope it stays that way. --Robb I agree, Robb. I checked out this little park a few years ago with some friends, and we thought it was quite a pleasant way to spend an afternoon. Their car ride is one of the best anywhere, I think, and Quicksilver Express is a fun family coaster. What they could use, though, is a good flume ride for those hot Gilroy summers, and maybe a good dark ride. (It would be really cool if they re-created the old Lost Dutchman Mine ride from the long-gone but not forgotten Frontier Vllage in San Jose.) One of the other posters is right--add Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk to Bonfante, and you've got a good weekend getaway.

I think it would be reminiscent of Aqua Velva, with perhaps a hint of Old Spice mixed with a soupcon of Hai Karate.

Good stuff, as usual, Robb. Have to get back down to Florida to check out Sheikra and Expedition Everest--maybe next fall. And to to score some more Beverly--it's both a cool drink and a refreshing after shave. Chuck "Never mix Beverly with Cherry Coke" Campbell

I'm looking forward to this one, myself. I'm glad that PKD is trying something other than just another pile of metal. I also liked the new Tomb Raider attraction (and I'm not a spinner type of guy). Some coaster fanatics were ticked at BGW for Curse of DarKastle because, well, it wasn't a coaster (nothing like criticizing a ride for what you think it should've been rather than what it is). I was glad Busch built DarKastle--it's an excellent dark-ride/simulator that's all the more remarkable for being in a seasonal park. How will Italian Job stack up? Guess I'll figure that out for myself next summer.

Here's two of me. The first is, of course, Space Mountain at Disneyland--I'm the thoughtful chap in the middle row (my friends Gary and Linda are in front). The second is rather similar to one of Canobie Fan's photos. In a strange, startling conincidence, we (who do not know one another, by the way) struck a similar pose on a coaster called the Hurler during the same year--only at different parks (mine is at PKD). Guess the Hurler brings that out in people no matter where they are. Chuck "Coaster Voguing" Campbell Why PKD no longer sells Hurler onride photos. Mr. Campbell contemplates his grocery list while hurtling through space.

The Hurler tends to bring that out in a lot of people.

Not from me, but to each his own. I think that most mass-market American brews are meant for chugging, not so much for savoring. But the absolute worst beer I've ever encountered was this really cheap swill called Red, White, and Blue. Crack open a can and it smells like somebody just farted.

Some folks complain that BBW is too jerky, but I've never had a problem with it--certainly wasn't as big a headbanger as Drachen Fire. The Drachen Fire station has found new life, of sorts, as "Sleepless Hollow Manor" during Howl-o-Scream.

And all this time I thought that damn bird was completely asexual. Arghh! Nightmare fuel, be this!

The old Corkscrew at Knott's--you went up, down, around upsidedown, and out. That was it. I think it was Arrow's prototype.

"Road rage" while flying across the Atlantic? Did a UFO cut in front of the plane while making obscene gestures? :?

Anchor Steam is a San Francisco brewery. You're not likely to find it at a regular supermarket, so check your gourmet food and wine shops. As for why is drinking Budweiser like making love in a canoe . . . Chuck "They're both f-----g close to water!" Campbell

We already have a "dumbest moment" thread. But when were you the most frightened? For me, it happened on the back of an old John Deere tractor in one of my Dad's apricot orchards back in the 1970s. I grew up in Patterson, California, "the apricot capital of the world," and that relative of the peach and plum was our ranch's major crop at the time. I was hauling a brush shredder--a large cylinder that held rows of flails (metal bars that weighed about five pounds each). The cylinder rotates at high speed, and the flails grind and chop and smash everything in their path into fine mulch, which is disked under later. This thing makes the devil's own noise when it gets going--a loud roar and rhythmic pounding, along with a curious jingling sound. It's like you're being chased by Godzilla while the big lizard is wearing sleigh bells. I was driving slowly between a two rows of trees as the shredder, well, shredded a long line of prunings and brush that seemed to stretch into infinity. All I had to do was drive in a straight line. Then I heard a new sound--a loud, regular banging. "What the hell?" I thought. Then something whizzed past my head on the left side. There was a loud clump and a little cloud of dust ahead of me as something hit the ground. Then another zing past my right ear. It was a flail--the damn shredder was flying apart! I stopped the Deere and switched off the fiendish farm implement from the bowels of hell. I cowered behind my only two lines of defense: a yellow plastic hard hat and a "shield" (a hallf-inch sheet of splintered plywood) behind the driver's seat. Those flying flails could've easily taken my head off. Slowly the shredder came to a stop, but not without throwing one more singing flail. After I figured it was safe, I picked up the thrown flails and took the rig back to the ranch shop. Turns out that last year's shredder maintenance had been deferred, and the metal bushings that held the flails in place were worn out. So, remember--always replace your bushings annually (if you have any bushings).

I've ridden Drachen Fire in both its incarnations. The first time it left me with two huge bruises on either shoulder, along with the soon-to-be-customary headache and feeling of disorientation. The only reason it lasted as long as it did was because a bald eagle built a nest on the top of the lift hill, so Busch had to leave it alone for a year (thanks to the Endangered Species Act). So, it did serve at least one good purpose before being scrapped. As you've probably guessed, I do not weep for Drachen Fire. Anaconda at PKD is even worse, though.

wrapped myself in mint-flavored dental floss . . .