cfc

I was pleasantly surprised by this one. Not a ride I could "marathon," but fun.

Still more Floraland--spiced with a wee bit 'o' credit whoring. "Your book is right under your arm where you left it! Please quit asking where it is! You also dropped your 'Hidden Mickey.'" And what exactly does a "flaming gun" do? Oh. I'm sure this is based on the famous novel by Edith Wharton. What's this? A dark ride! Yes! And you can rotate the car like Buzz Lightyear or Roger Rabbit's Cartoon Spin. You make two circuits through this building. Your gun may or may not work. Are you a "mirror" or a "maze"? Maybe both? Double score! A haunted walk through! "Pull my legal and fully licensed finger, dearie!" "It's not a 'sheet'! It's a 'shroud'! Shrouds are scary!" "Dude, you're wearing a sheet. Deal with it." A legal and fully licensed mash-up of two cartoon universes. Here's another shooter . . . . . . with a bizarre name. But the ride won't take my money. Someone is "presenting" way too much here. Pixies and hookers coexist peacefully at Floraland. How about a peek at "Floraland to come"? They're building a whole other park across the street. They still have to clear away some rubble--otherwise, we could ride this thing now! More giant Chendu tumors! Our next stop was People's Park. Here we see actual "people." It was a short walk to the amusement section. Shooting bumper cars? Here is our objective: Space Car! And it's been certified safe and sane for young and old. Low overhead means low prices. "Pathetic Earthlings! Hurling your bodies out into the void, without the slightest inkling of who or what is out here." "If you had known anything about the true nature of the universe, anything at all, you would've hidden from it in terror." Welcome to Xinhua Park. It's good to know that if there's some sort of catastrophe, we're in the right place. "I wonder where that fish could be?" "It is a most elusive fish!" It's Jolie in 3D. The Outer Space Flying Car rules! "Screw Intamin and Jungle Mouse coasters! Outer Space Flying Coaster is where it's at now! I'm startin' a whole new trend!" "Hey! Know where a guy can buy a fish?" That's all for now.

Chapter 6: Epcot Meets Six Flags--Floraland and More Credit Whoring We bid farewell to Bruce and Beijing and flew to Chendu, a large city best known for pandas, in addition to the usual crazy Chinese traffic and our new guide, Sammi. Floraland was our next stop, and while the park boasted only two coasters of no particular distinction, it was a very nice place Floraland is sort of a hybrid of a Six Flags or Cedar Fair park and Epcot; that is, there's a fairly standard "amusement park" section coupled with some re-creations of other countries, such as Italy and France. Well, they're not particularly accurate re-creations, but the park itself is sprawling and nicely landscaped--one of those places that's fun to explore. As I said, the two coasters, the obligatory Chinese knock-off SLC and Golden Horse Spinning Coaster, with the odd name Revolving Pulley, weren't very memorable, possibly because the "SLC" knocks you senseless. However, the park had plenty of flat rides to keep people occupied, including one of those "never in America" Tagadas. For those not in the know, a Tagada is just a rotating platform that bounces people around, over, and on top of one another. There are no seats and no restraints, and no shoes are allowed either. If you're lucky, you'll have a great time and escape without any broken bones or contusions--and you may get to know your trip mates better than you might have liked. Hunt around the park, and you may just find some shooting dark rides, an ice house, and some cool walk-through attractions--and some very amusing signage. Overall, Floraland is a very nice park, and it's expanding into a full-blown resort. Let's venture in. Welcome to Chendu, famous for pandas and . . . WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? "There is no cause for alarm. A giant tumor was found growing by the river last night, and it is being hauled away for proper disposal. Boy, I wish I had a yuan for each giant tumor I've seen in that river." It looks like Busch Gardens' "Root of All Evil" maze sprouted on top of that building. You know, this Chinese traffic has gotten way out of hand. Welcome to Floraland. Their adorable panda mascots were in no way influenced by a famous team of rodents at another theme park. No "four-A" Chinese park would ever stoop to obvious plagiarism. Floraland is a very nice park. "Ooo! I see non-Asian people!" No one knew if she was just some random Chinese teenager or a "pretty, sexy lady" looking for some western business. Looks like "It's a Small World" meets the Universal logo. Are these pixies or fairies? Maybe I should ask an elf or a hobbit. Dadburn kids! They're all alike wherever you go! Welcome to Floraland's House of Pain. ("Are we not men?") Er, if you say so. So, no hearts or burgers are allowed on this ride? I guess you can't ride if you've ever stuck your hand out of a train or jumped from a van, either. So, it's not just a coaster. It's a "riding facility"? Whatever you call it, the thing looks sort of mean and spindly. When riding one of these attractions, just remember this quote from "The Seven Faces of Dr. Lao": . . . "You are alive. . . . "And to be alive is fantastic!" "Guys! Spinning Mouse over here! Er, . . . get excited?" Jolie and Megan never tire of Golden Horse Spinning Mouse rides. "Yay! We've achieved something resembling a 'spin'!" Boy, it sure is a long walk to the . . . "Fale" room? "Arise, my giraffe minions! Arise and kill!" And now, the Tagada. "Tagada" is Chinese for . . . "Super Happy Bouncing Orgy." Larry and I went off to explore the rest of the park. So many choices. "We're coming!" We left the evil far behind us. Hi, Piers. Hmm--looks like the turtles are having their own "Tagada." "Oh, yeah--I want me a piece 'o' that action!" OK--where to next? How about the garden with all the naked women in it? (Hey, it's "culture.") Or we could just go to "France." "I am French. I think." 'Well, I am most definitely French!" More to come.

Agreed. Silent Hill is a good case in point. Unless you saw the movie, the maze made no sense at all.

I remember that--but there was no love for Alpengeist (at least in the Griffon station). I'm looking forward to seeing what Djurs has up its sleeve. It's a very nice park.

^Perhaps 1985 was the year when these first became available.

^I've only been on RCCL, but aside from a few upcharge restaurants, all meals are included (as is the onboard entertainment). It's usually pretty clear what's an upcharge and what isn't.

I like this idea, too. Cheetah Hunt is a excellent ride that's been underrated in the enthusiast community--love to see the idea of "family launched coasters" (ala Cheetah Hunt and Verbolten) being picked up by other parks.

The Alice Cooper maze in Hollywood looks better than the one in Orlando, which seemed to be made up of random, leftover stuff.

I think "hate" is a strong word for Silver Bullet; "indifferent" might be closer for many enthusiasts.

China provides quite the bumper crop of bizarre coaster names. One that caught my eye is "Revolving Pulley" for a standard Golden Horse Spinning Coaster. And let's not forget "Sky Scrapper," or the B&M Flying Coaster of Many Names, at World Joyland and Hidden Anaconda for the Skyloop at Happy Valley Wuhan.

^It was, indeed, a beautiful day. And I'd like to make it clear that there are good parks in China, too. I enjoyed the remaining Happy Valleys quite a bit.

It looks like Disney Fantasy is worth it just for the food alone. I love the extra stuff in the Animator's Palate dining room, too.

^Fear Fair is, indeed, a much better experience if you go through it alone. I think the only true "bummer" maze that night was "The Root of All Evil," because we couldn't figure out what it was supposed to be (other than some woman shouting "Don't touch my plants!").

The portable county outhouses we had to use on my Dad's farm during harvest season look pretty good in comparison.

^It definitely looks better than Orlando's Horror Night this year.

The tail of a baby kangaroo in a mama's pouch, I think.

I'd say it's better. It may not have the sprawling layouts of Tatsu or Manta (or the latter's theming), but it's a superior B&M Flyer.

I'm convinced that Universal Orlando just decided, "Coming up with a theme is a pain. Let's just do random haunted stuff--then pretend later that our theme was 'The Walking Dead.'" It's good see Singapore stepping up.

The world definitely needs more of these rides.

Had an awesome night ride on this coaster yesterday.

I caught Frankenweenie today and really enjoyed it. Tim Burton did a good job building on the original short subject he made for Disney back in the 1980s. I particularly liked the science teacher who looked like Vincent Price and spoke with a Central European accent (nice voice work by Martin Laudau).

I'd have to go with Iron Wolf (aka, Apocalypse) and Scream as the roughest B&Ms, at least in my experience. And I recall detecting a little "rattle" only on Hair Raiser's first drop.

Amazing picture of UFOs coming from that "SLC," Hanno. That thing could shake and knock your fillings loose.

So far, it's been I305 (insane at night with no lights) and Apollo's Chariot (running great yesterday).