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I love Pigeon Forge, it's like the worst most perfect place on Earth! I kind of wish Branson was more like Pigeon Forge. Great TR as always!

Day 6 - 1st full day at Phantasialand! Part 2 of 2: Focaccia *AND* Nachos?? ewwwwww. (and also tempting) . . . but we had eaten breakfeast not too much earlier, and we were gonna grab lunch soon. . and more importantly, we were headed to Talocan - and flipping with full stomach is not a good combination. Chiapas is right next door too. . but we were gonna ride the insanely themed with insane programed Top Spin first. skulls - check water - check fire - check ooo. .this is gonna be good it doesn't really come across in the pics just how much this sucker flips. . but it pulls some SERIOUS G's while it's doing non stop continuous flipping. amazing program on it. Only wish the park stayed open later, as I'm sure this looks incredible at night. our reaction to watching the cycle before us going: after making ourselves dizzy with the flipping (and somewhere I have pics of us on it. . tho those might be in the day 2 pics when we rode again, because John didn't ride with us and instead stayed on the observation platform and took pics of us. YUP. . confirmed they are day 2, as I'm wearing a different shirt. so y'all have something to look forward to ) but then we headed next door to Chiapas. . the wonderful flume at Phantasialand. yes, it has a backwards section - as most European flumes seemed to have, and it has that awesome lift hill that runs between the two lifts from the Mine Train coaster, but it also has an Aztek God dance party. it doesn't get you SUPER wet. . tho in comparison to River Battle, nothing gets you super wet. LOL so DID get wet on it. . but it was so good, I still ended up riding it a few times during our visit. the area around the ride, and on the ride, is really amazingly themed. so, so pretty. after riding Chiapas, we were starting to get hungry, so the gang headed back over near Taron (I think we may have ridden again using quick queue) and then poked around for a restaurant. Someone - I think it was maybe Elissa, or Robb, had posted about this place earlier in the day, and so we decided to try it out. Rutmore's Taverne (no reservations, just walk in service - for a sit down restaurant) the menu is made of steel. no really. . it's metal. VERY Metal! and it weighted a good amount too. . at least the pages inside were plastic covered paper. and the food all sounded very delicious, as did the alcohol offered here. the gang today at the table. . pic on my phone courtesy of our waiter the decor in here is great too. . very Rustic. . and "Viking" I have absolutely zero recollection what this was - Pork Butt perhaps? I just recall it was a lot of food, and very good! Brad across from me got the Cheese Plate. . .also looks fantastic (those who got it said it was very good) after eating. . we're right here, and we have multiple quick queues today. . so yeah, how about another ride on Taron? this section before it shoots up the waterfall is such a great part of the ride. it was starting to get late afternoon and the park closed in a couple of hours, and we hadn't even headed to the other side (ie: indoor side) of the park yet. So we went that direction, crossing past the main square again. over to this part of the park. lots of "junior" and "Family" rides spaced out over here. . but we were headed to the indoor part. why? well for the spinning dual track coaster, Winja's (Fear and Force). . both unique, and intertwining amount each other - and the central "tower" ride inside. both have some tricks up their sleeve (ie: both have different, unique, trick-track sections). . tho I thought that force spun way more than fear. tho fear had more extreme drops. With general quick queue passes, these were basically walk on for us, once we went up the massive amount of stairs in the queue lines. (the queue splits for each separate coaster near the top level). after riding both sides, while some rode again, and some took bathroom breaks, I went ahead and took a ride on the observation tower ride in the center of the indoor section. as noted, the two Winjas tracks twist around the indoor ride. .and what's cool is that tho this looks like a "Parachute " type drop ride - and it does have some "bouncing up and down". . it stays at the top for a few minutes to give you a great view of the two spinning coasters smooth. .and not totally unexciting and as noted. . GREAT views. Hi Chris and John! and Ryan we debated if bother riding CrazyBats - and I'm glad we did, since it was not open the next day. it's a family indoor coaster - with a long train. . . but they were running it with a VR option. i decided to do it with VR, and tho it's a bit disorienting to not be able to see where you're going? the VR actually worked quite well with the movement of the coaster. tho the story was (to put it nicely) confusing as hell. something about you're turned into a bat, and you have to rescue a princess who farts? or something. it was enjoyable tho.. even if tying Raik for the most unthrilling coaster in the park. \ most of the group was craving something exciting for the last hour or so of park operations. . so most of them headed back over to F.L.Y. or Taron, I stayed in this section as I wanted to ride the slow moving, elevated car ride .. hey, I like stupid rides . . and this is right up my alley. and I loved that it appeared to give an overview of this section. it was walk on, and they seemed thrill to have a customer come to ride. The "cars" are adorable. whee! Hmmmm. . where does this path lead? there was nothing on the park map? ohhhh.. it led back to a Splash Battle (that appeared to be closed) as well as a dark ride back over there that had been closed since Covid (and likely will never reopen from what I was told) ooo. .two more riders! they have a rush going! there's also paddle boats on the lake. . . but again, did not seem to be getting much of a crowd, and if I hadn't been on the elevated car? would have never even seen those were there. I was alone at this point and didn't' want to paddle myself, so passed on this. nice and relaxing , with some great views. as mentioned, there are some smaller, family rides scattered around this area. For example that "pedal plane" ride on the lower left below. and this "pull yourself up with ropes" tower there was only about 40 minutes left before park close, so I headed towards my one remaining must do today - noting where the shops were that sold shirts, since i was shopping tomorrow. but down the main "concourse" to my must do. I realized there were two other things I had to ride. and it was late enough neither really had lines. Mouse au Chocolat - a pretty fantastic shooting ride, that's basically Toy Story Mania, themed to a mouse in a chocolate factory. as you can see. . basically a walk on. But again, massively long queue. it took me longer to walk the queue than it did to ride. . . but of course with no one in the queue, was able to get some great pics of the theming in here I'd hate to be here on a day when the queue is completely full. . . it stretches thru at least 6 rooms like this. and right next door to the Maus Au Chocolate exit? the "never EVER in America" funhouse. also with a 5 minute (if that) wait: the poster blew smoke rings. and the "clown" in the hotel lobby messed with the guests in line before putting the group of us into an "elevator" No idea what the clown was saying, because all in French. . but everyone was laughing. dangerous slides, and moving floors, and spinning discs thruout the house. SO glad there are handrails (and "exit around obstacles" options) these are just evil - ladders to climb that move up and down opposite. I chose NOT to break my neck and took the stairs up. . but waited to watch some much younger kids have a ball doing the climb. after the funhouse, it was finally time for me to enjoy my favorite: a classic double decker Carousel. and because it's near the front gates/exit, it had a decent line (but no wait because it seats so many) scattered around it, again, are some nice family rides. all beautifully placed in the landscaped entrance Garden area. My happy place. . on a Carousel Horse. a peek at the Front Gate from the top level of the Carousel as I passed by. such a great variety of things to ride here. . pogo horses, galloping horses, carriages, teacups. . just a great overall carousel. would have been a perfect shot of horse down the main street. . but she decided to stop and take a pic. . and I was headed to meet the group for a final ride on Chiapas (had texted with them while riding). . so snapped a pic with her in it this was a kiddie ride, and had already shut for the day. . but loved the look of it. just a really well themed ride. Tulip Ferris Wheel. the Art Deco lockers under the front gate, are beautiful. so well done . . . . and then I hightailed it over to Chiapas where I believe Andrew, John, James, and Myself rode just before park close. rear-view of the splashdown from the entry queue (before I put phone away) we tried to get over to Taron, but they had already cut the line. . so we headed back to the hotel, to freshen up and relax before dinner. I joined Ian up on the rooftop area, and we watched as they cycled the last few trains from F.L.Y. for the evening. . \ this pic *might* be from Andy (I think. . or maybe Robb?). . but he was able to "panorama" most of F.L.Y. into one pic and then headed down to the bar to have a cocktail and wait for dinner. it had been a very full and fun day. . and we were doing it again tomorrow! back soon-ish with Day 2 at Phantasialand. thanks for reading! bert

^ if it is the P-Sghetti Bowl, then it's the E&F version (the "Racing" version). I worry that it's too close to the Streamliner - a pretty decent kiddie coaster, with a fantastic location. (and that might get removed if they put the new ride in where the Bumper Cars were) guess we'll find out on the 10th (I'll be at the park for Feliz Fiesta, so will be there for the announcement, whatever it may be)

Looks like the announcement is going to be a Skyline Attraction P-Sghetti Bowl coaster with lighted track. https://www.facebook.com/groups/thrillseekersunited1/permalink/1305989236845416/ https://skylineattractions.com/products/childrens-rides/psghetti-bowl-childrens-coaster/

Part of it has to be advertising. Can't imagine they are on after they close for the season.

Lots and lots of, lots and lots of, awesome shots of, Phantasialand, Bert! All of them, day and night time ones. Last time I was there with TPR, I was surprised too, that such a green space existed in the park, back there. With the waterways, too! Didn't get to take that mini-rail ride to see it all. I think it was down for maintenance. Ah well. glad you went and rode it! Great you all got so much time there, at the park. They have really revved up their theming along with all of the attractions, there.

We actually ate at Focaccia and Nachos one of the days and it was okay! The Tavern was much better though!

Great writeup. I've ridden my share of really good top spins, but Tolocan is a whole different level of extreme. Like you said, the G's it pulls are absolutely insane. Not even taking into account the awesome fire and water effects.

Day 6 - 1st full day at Phantasialand! Part 1 of 2: woke up fairly early to the "white noise" sound from the television. . as noted prior, we left it on this "channel" the entire time we were at Phantasialand. . so don't even know if the tv even picked up "regular" stations. (hey, on Vacation, don't need any "real world" news in my life right now). looking at the inside of the the door heading out of the room / sleeping pod. Love the attention to detail such as the cool little touches on the outside of the door in keeping with the retro/steampunk theme. . headed down to breakfast, of course snapping some pics of F.L.Y. as we pass it by. . . we had some ERT on it this morning (for an hour, if I recall). . and everyone was pretty stoked. the 2nd launch (if not mistaken) down the stairs to Uhrwerk. . for our breakfast reservation (timed breakfast, just as there is a timed dinner) waiting in the bar for our time to be seated, James and Chris model the retro/industrial/steampunk chairs in the bar. . . breakfast menu: YUM !!! after breakfast, I headed back up the rooms for a quick change to get ready for the day (zippered cargo shorts for anything that needed to be in a pocket - ie: phone). and while up there, F.L.Y. started testing, getting ready for us. . . so snapped a few pics of the train as it zoomed around the course. then down thru the lobby and over to the main entrance gate to Rooksburgh from the Hotel Charles Lindbergh again. LOVE this lobby and even got a pic of the desk clerks this morning as we passed by. . . why hello! not checking in, but checking you out as we walk by . . . . (tho really, was trying to get a pic of the themed "old timey" hotel wall cubbies behind him. . . ) and actually in Rooksburgh now, looking up. . it's time for us to ride. . . see? how cool is this? (answer: very cool) this was the park rep that met Robb & Elissa and our group. I can't recall his name (and his tag just says "Phantasialand"). . but he was a really nice guy, and I spent a good 10 minutes chatting with him after I rode F.L.Y. 6 times, and then needed a break - hey, I'm OLD. we talked about Theme Parks in the USA, and what other parks TPR had been to on the trip, and if we were going to Disneyland Paris (not officially part of the trip, but many of us did stay on for that). . he was a really nice guy. He and the other park employees running the ride were so happy that we were having such a blast riding - and applauding when coming back into the station. I asked him about the name and what F.L.Y. stands for, and he admitted that it doesn't really mean anything, that they just thought it looked really cool to put the periods in the name. cant really disagree with that (LOL). they were very impressed that some in the group rode every single time during our ERT in the morning. In fact, they were so pleased with how much we were enjoying F.L.Y. he reached out to Robb and told him that our wristbands (that gave us the ERT hour), would be good *all day* that we didn't need to use our hotel passes - and could save those for tomorrow - we could just show the wrist bands, and TPR could ride F.L.Y. as much as we wanted all day! apparently that's a super rare thing, that they NEVER do. . . F.L.Y. isn't even on the quick pass that Phantasialand sells. . the only way to get a skip the line is to stay at the hotel. So yeah, we ended up getting an amazing perk - yet another reason (in addition to the chocolate ) that TPR trips are so amazing. the little surprises like this that are so wonderful. what did I think of it? AMAZING. . and really comfortable. I like a lot that it starts out in an upright position, and you stay that way thru the beginning "dark ride" portion of the ride, and it's not until the launch/lift hill that the seats rotate up into the "flying" position and you launch up into the sky. it's a little disorienting I found, unless riding in the first row. and the back row pulls some pretty strong G's. . .. I rode it all over the train, and towards the back was my favorite (2nd row to the end). . but every row was great. here's a pic courtesy of Elissa - of James and I in front row TPR enjoying F.L.Y. - Hi Brad! at this point, the park had opened to the public. . although the line for F.L.Y. had started to grow longer as we were riding, so I think guests from other Phantasialand hotels get an early entry perhaps (tho not a skip the line). . so tho the main line wasn't open, there was a good crowd already lined up for it? So I hung around for a few moment s and got some pics from below of other parkgoers riding. and then the group I was hanging out with today made our way out thru the tunnel out of Rookburgh and into the rest of Phantasialand. not heading this way yet, but this is towards the main Entrance. . the carousel is right at the bottom of the entrance steps. Instead we headed towards the central hub. we had the quck queue passes (some for both days). . but we knew we wanted to try to "rope drop" Taron to save a pass. . so we headed that way, along with several others from the TPR trip. wow. . it's SO impressive. . it's like Maverick, but they built it much higher up, but then in a ditch. . so it's a tangled mess of high up track. . but mostly hidden from view until you come up on it. that's mystery castle in the background there. . the parks *incredible* indoor drop tower ride. as we walked around to the entrance to Taron. . . apparently looked the other direction to snap a pic of Chiapas (the incredible flume the park has) and Black Mamba (going thru that building there) we found the line for Taron. . . darn. . extending all the way out of the queue line down the path way. but it turned out that the queue line hadn't been opened yet - so it really wansn't too bad (maybe 20 minutes once they opened it and the line started to flood in). and they opened the queue while Taron started testing. . . queue about to open Just look at all that beautiful track. . . (and not all of it is Taron. . the family shuttle Raik, goes right thru the center of this track as well. OPEN! whee! the whole area around Taron/Raik is heavily themed (hell. . every area of this park - as you'll see - is heavily themed) but it's lovely we were over here, and the line was pretty short this early in the day, so we went around the corner to give Raik a spin. from the Raik queue line, you get a fantastic view of Taron roaring by as noted, Raik is a family shuttle coaster (boomerang). . so it really doesn't do much, and other than this one time, I didn't ride it again on our two days here. but it's absolutely worth a ride, just for the setting - i mean.. you're interacting with Taron's track the entire ride! River quest queue is right next door. not many pictures of it, as this infamous ride WILL *soak* you. . so my camera was all put away (wrapped in plastic) once we decided to get in line for it. they are not kidding around here either.. a rapids ride that has some extreme drops. . and it is just like getting dunked in a bathtub. it's what all the "cool kids" are wearing. and yes, it helped a little bit.. tho still got wet enough I didn't want to ride it again, even tho I liked it. drying off and wandering around more of the park. . oh. . but first Mystery Castle. i knew nothing about this, other than it's a drop ride. but again, it's a HEAVILY themed ride/queue about mad monks running experiments. It's not just a drop ride. . inside that tower? are 12 rows of seats. .that ring the outside of the tower - facing inwards - and they run different programs. so yes, you get to watch others riding facing you/around you. . as the different sides do different drop programs. While in the center, the mad monks sit in a control area running the torture. it's awesome, and I think I rode this at least 6 times during our visit, to try out the different sides. SO good. even if a bit of a trek to get up to the Castle. . and then the hidden queue inside is just as long. (something of note about Phantasialand. . most of the "big" rides, have really, really long queues. and the quick queue options DO cut off a LOT of the main queues. . so yet another reason to get those if you visit this park) after Mystery Castle (which I think we may have ridden twice, while there) the group headed further into the park, and towards Black Mamba. . . to get there tho, one walks thru the Asian section (no idea if that's what it's called). . but it has a really good MadHouse, and a super F-ed up dark ride (both of which I rode multiple times the next day. . but for now, we were in search of coasters). didn't stop me from snapping pics as walking by tho, as it's so beautiful. oooo. . . forgot about this coaster! we stumbled upon it as we were walking by. . yes, this is the infamous "Michael Jackson Roller Coaster" - apparently he tried to buy it from the park way back when to relocate to Neverland. LOL it looked like a pretty basic mine train. . but it's actually really long with much of it "hidden" from view. And two of the multiple lift hills are on either side of Chiapas Flume lifthill.. so while you're on the coaster you can wave to those on Chiapas, and vice versa. very neat. only problem? we couldn't find the entrance. . . LOL. . we walked ALL the way around this huge ride (again, much of it hidden inside) to find the queue. . tho once we found it, we knew where to go when we wanted to ride it more later. a small "drop tower" ride . . more for families. didnt' ride it, and only took a pic of the sign, LOL. . but I liked they had a ride just dropped in here next to the coaster. still walking. . back in the Asia area. . . where the heck is the queue for this? wheee!!!! it was fun, and glad we stopped to ride it. (it was actually one of the more intense Mine Trains I've ridden, thanks to those helixes). . but we wanted Black Mamba. A ride I'd heard about for years, and really wanted to ride. 10 minute wait? seriously, the line took us almost that long to walk it. . and it WOULD have been a walk on for front row, but someone had gotten sick and so we had to wait a little bit while the sterilized the trains and sent it out with only the front row empty (SO glad I wasn't in row two on that train. . . ugh . bleach and "other" stuff spraying on you as the train goes thru the course). the next day, I used the quick queue on this to bypass the long queue (after walking it twice more during the day). yes, it lived up to my expectations. . . an amazing ride in the front row - and you really need to ride it in the front row at least one time, to really appreciate how much theming they put into the course on this ride. but it was good everywhere. . probably my 2nd favorite Suspended Coaster (behind Montu) from Black Mamba's exit queue, you get a peek over the rocks at the parks also infamous Top Spin - Tolocan I've not ridden many Top Spins. . but this one is incredibly well themed (fire, water, and intense, intense spinning) that I really wanted to ride it. spoiler, I loved it so much, I bought a ride logo shirt for it. . one of only two I bought the whole trip Here's some pics from the Black Mamba exit queue. . we were headed here next tho. To be continued in part II of day 1 at Phantasialand.

Yes. Unlike most American seasonal parks that do Christmas events, Dollywood and Silver Dollar City are fully-open except for the water rides (weather permitting). All rides, coasters and areas are open.

There's a list of temperatures that Dollywood's rides can operate in on their website: Dollywood Ride Temperature Guidelines I love that Drop Line can run as low as FIVE degrees. That'd be one chilly plunge!

I've said it before and I'll say it again. It's really, really, really, really hard to pull the plug on tons of guaranteed money every month from people who have given you their consent to bill them monthly until the end of time and then actively hope that they'll renew knowing full well that a large percentage of them will not or that they won't until their next visit and you can lose out on money for months / years. There are probably tons of people and families paying Six Flags $5-$7 per month per person who never go and don't care enough to cancel it thinking that they'll go eventually. SeaWorld still hasn't done it on passes that they haven't sold in like 5+ years. It will cause an absolutely apocalyptic quarter when they're already dropping bombs every 3 months. As for raising the price, they probably will do this but incrementally so people don't notice and cancel. That said, it's what they should have done all along instead of the current plan which is to have 34 different active pass types and see what sticks (not an exaggeration).

I submit to you that I am not "slow," but rather a master of suspense. Anyway, here it is, the fourth and final installment of our 2022 trip to Europe, in which I mostly complain about Disney. So enjoy that. And, also, there are people who started 2019 trip reports that still haven't finished them, so cram it. Nah, I'm just joshin' ya'. I love you guys! Part 4: America in France Welcome to Parc Asterix, a place I honestly knew very little about going in. In fact, I pretty much just knew they had Tonnerre de Zeus and Goudurix and that the park was themed around a French newspaper cartoon. When I heard you could ride an ass on their carousel, this isn't quite what I'd pictured. This park is actually pretty great. I really liked it. Yes, that's my caption. I'm already out of jokes. I don't remember the names of any of these rides, but I'm definitely counting them both as credits. By which I mean I'm giving the park credit for having a dark ride, even though it doesn't really have one, strictly speaking. This boat ride works, though. Actually, most of the ride names in this park seem a bit unimaginative, even in French, mostly being variations of "Caesar's Spinning Thing" or somesuch. We interrupt this trip report to insert a random photo of Montu. Actually, I liked this better than Montu. And quite a lot better than Black Mamba. You should know by now the kind of trickery I engage in when putting these trip reports together. This is a restaurant, and the next photo is of food. And yet...! ...this food is not from that restaurant! In fact, I'm not even sure what this food is. Pizza? Or like quiche? We'll just go with quiche pizza. I love these kinds of car rides. But while I do usually enjoy them, I am also frequently just a little bit disappointed that there isn't more to them. But not in this case. This thing was great. Scenery, animatronics, buildings you go through with scenery and animatronics. This might just be my new favorite car ride and I had no idea this park even had a car ride. In fact, I liked it so much I'm going to go look up the name of it! Hang on. "Nationale 7" Right. I did mention that the ride names were largely kind of bland, didn't I? The ride isn't bland though. I just put "Nationale 7" through google translate and it shocking didn't come back as "driving past old people having sex in a barn." You've seen this photo, right? Or a version of it? Well, just in case you haven't, here you go. The park has a couple of these indoor areas that feel mostly abandoned. Which is a shame because they're really cool even without the shops, restaurants, and little attractions that look like used to exist within them. Goudurix is the one clear exception to the bland ride name rule, apparently translating as "the taste of danger." It's reputation, as I'm sure you're aware, is that it's maybe the most painful coaster in existence. It was closed most of the day, apparently for mechanical problems. Actually, it may have been closed all day. I have no idea. I never intended to ride it. We also didn't ride Tonnerre 2 Zeus, but did intend to. It just kind of ended up being later in the day for us, and right after we got it line, it went down. It probably reopened, but we never made it back. It may seem strange to hear me be so blasé about it, but as awesome as these trips are, they can also sort of end up being like a Brazilian steakhouse. Yes, all this food is amazing and I'm paying the same amount regardless and I really would like to try this cut of meat because I've never had it before but also I'm about to fall asleep and I'm currently covered in bruises and you expect me to backtrack to ride something that may or may not be open by the time I get there? I think I'll just head to the hotel and take a nap, thanks. You get the idea, I'm sure. We never skip a water cups ride, though. The park didn't even make them do this! This was the trip of madhouses and we rode all of them. This was the best, as the story involved some sort of experimental medieval submarine being attached by a giant octopus. (Maybe...? I mean, it was in French and I don't speak French, so I may have misunderstood some of the finer details. It was great though. ) Yeah, Parc Asterix was quite good. Thus endeth the last official park of the trip, but this report is just getting started! Yeah, sorry, there's a whole bunch more. Back in Paris, where cars rule and there are no rules for cars. One of those famous Parisian street cafes you're always hearing about. We're pretty big zoo and aquarium fans, so we wanted to check out Paris's zoo. And...it was fine, but I'm just about ready to add zoos to the short list of things the US is better at (along with airports and desserts). Still, it's always fun to look at long-necked horsies. Chubby sea lions. Sometimes people are in the way of your photo, and sometime people make your photo. The Biozone Amazonie-Guyane. Or for those of you that don't speak French, the Amazonia-Guyana Biozone. You're welcome. Statement. Maximum security. Reserved for large cats that have repeatedly escaped. It's a perfectly pleasant zoo, but probably doesn't need to be super high up on most peoples' list of places to visit in Paris. Disneyland Paris! Okay, here we go. I'll try not to belabor the point, but I'm not a huge Disney fan. I used to be. I grew up with Disneyland and loved it. But I got older and Disney and I grew apart. Maybe the best way to explain where I'm at now is this: I love Disney's rides--especially the classic older ones--but I hate what I have to do to get to them. Which is to say, I dislike the Disney park "experience." Still, we elected to visit Disneyland Paris because we'd never been and we wanted to see it. And we stacked the deck to give us every advantage we could, staying at an on-property hotel and buying their best/most expensive fast pass option. Did this help? Yes, it dulled the Disney negatives a bit. So success. But...yeah, it didn't really change my mind about Disney parks overall. Sleeping Beauty's castle is quite nice, both inside and out. Hey, it's a famously unique-to-Disneyland-Paris thing! Just a quick visit that first night, and then we went to the Rainforest Cafe. Why? I don't know, man. Because it was funny...? Our first full day at Disneyland Paris began with the second gate, Walt Disney Studios Paris. Gross. This area is nice, though. I enjoyed the 3 little flat rides and the fun theming. Doesn't really look like a Disney ride, does it? These cuddle up whip things are always fun. Several cars out of commission for first thing in the morning at a park that should be able to afford the very best maintenance, though. Hey, I'm just saying. A bold choice to include a map of a better area at a better park. Crush's Coaster is the big unique ride at this park, and it's fun. But it is mostly just a spinning coaster in a box, and its wait times are intense. Of course, we had the pay fast passes, which still resulted in around a 20 minute wait. Which is not a complaint. Well, actually it is. But I'm not complaining about waiting 20 minutes after buying a fast pass. No, I get that. I'm complaining about Disney deliberately putting in a low capacity ride, knowing full well what kind of lines it would generate, when they could easily have created something similar or better with much better capacity by spending a bit more money that they obviously had. But they went cheap because they knew they could get away with it and pass that misery onto you. And yes, I already knew all of this when I decided to go. But this is why I no longer go to Disney parks very often. Also note that staying on-site gave us 60 minutes of early access. But also note that you can't use your pay fast passes during that hour, and (especially at Disneyland Paris) many of the smaller rides aren't open during that hour. It's just like, a bunch of weird math pop quizzes to negotiate at every turn. I suspect that big Disney Park fans like the challenge. They're like couponers. They just really enjoy feeling like they outsmarted the system. Like people dropping $100 into slot machines in Vegas while patting themselves on the back that they got two free drinks. Okay, okay. I'm okay. Deep breathes. I can do this. Keep positive. The best ride at Walt Disney Studios Paris, at least in my opinion, is not exactly unique. But I don't care. I'm always down to ride Tower of Terror. I don't even care that it's the "lesser" version without the 5th dimension scene. It's still great. Interestingly enough, what really makes this one unique, is the strange focus on the little girl character. Do French people find little girls especially creepy or something? Is that a cultural thing? It's the same characters from the Orlando and original California versions, but the little girl becomes the centerpiece of almost ever scene in a way I found really weird and highly amusing. We experienced a breakdown about halfway through the cycle, sat for a few minutes, got cycled off, and were then given a proper full ride, so that was fun and interesting. (Not sarcasm, for clarity. I just don't know how to say it in a way that doesn't sound sarcastic. To be honest, I don't really know how to say anything that doesn't sound sarcastic. It's just who I am.) Ratatouille is a solid trackless dark ride that of course now also exists at Epcot. I quite liked it, but I have the same minor complaint that I had about Mouse au Chocolat at Phantasialand--which is that the 3-D glasses make the real non-screen scenery look a bit muddled, which is a shame because that all looks quite good if you take the glasses off. But then of course you need them on for the 3-D screens. Next door is the wonderfully themed and beautiful Bistrot Chez Rémy. The food is pretty good also, but really I'm recommending it for the decor. And by "recommend it," I mean make sure you make reservations 2 months in advance or resign yourself to waiting in long lines to eat at a cart because this is a Disney park. Their disaster canyon tram ride has been rethemed to Cars Road Trip. It's pretty weak, but at least it has amazing capacity, so you shouldn't need to wait long. Back to our soulless hotel, the Cheyenne. This is themed to Woody from Toy Story. But also kind of not...? I assume they're trying to appeal to both children and adults by being both Toy Story but also just generic old west...? It did the job and it was close enough to the parks, so yeah, pretty good. This is outside the nearby Hotel Santa Fe, which is similarly kind-of-themed to Cars. You probably know that Walt Disney Studios Paris is a bit lacking in terms of number of attractions. But what you might not know is that Disneyland Paris is similarly afflicted--perhaps not compared to its second gate, but certainly when compared to Disneyland or even Magic Kingdom. Main Street has two side "hallways" that run the length of it, creating more footpath to get in and out from the entrance to the hub. No doubt hugely beneficial during parades and such. I'm for it, but one amusing thing is that Disney lists these pathways as attractions on the park map, and the symbol it uses for attractions is a little coaster car--creating the hilarious implication that Disney considers this hallway to be a roller-coaster. Buzz Lightyear's Laser Rangers or whatever is fine and fun and pretty much the same (other than being in French, of course). I was told I got the highest score in the park's history. Which makes sense. Autopia is fun. It's interesting to think that when I was a kid the entire point seemed to be to run into the car in front of you. But then again kids are jerks. Kids, but not jerks. (Unless you own Disney stock. Then you probably think we're jerks.) The Nautilus was closed during the 3 or 4 days we were around. As was 'it's a small world,' the Disneyland Railroad, Mickey's PhilharMagic, Swiss Family Treehouse, the Pirate Galleon, and probably some other minor stuff that I've forgotten. But, hey, what do you expect when you visit in July? Here's a shot of Star Wars Hyperspace Mountain broken down. We did ride it a bit later and it didn't hurt me too bad but also isn't something I ever need to ride again. That probably says more about me than Disney, though. Smisty built her own droid in the Star Tours gift shop. Pretty much just a red R2-D2 with a sombrero. So basically the greatest droid ever. The best Pixar movie. A little snack stand in Fantasyland. So why include a photo of it? Because they had bitterballen! Storybooklandcanalboats. Casey Jr. goes over the stone bridge. I like that these are here. Another unique-to-Disneyland Paris thing is Alice's Curious Labyrinth. I was a bit worried about how this would work capacity-wise, but it wasn't too crowded when we went. Maybe it's just not that popular. I enjoyed it, though. Almost an observation tower! You know how I mentioned that Disneyland Paris feels pretty light attractions-wise? Well, it's in Adventureland and Frontierland that you really feel it. Adventureland has an Indiana Jones coaster and Pirates, and Frontierland has Big Thunder and Phantom Manor. There is a handful of other small attractions (most of which were closed while we were there), but what there isn't is: Splash Mountain, Winnie the Pooh, Country Bear Jamboree, Enchanted Tiki Room, and/or Jungle Cruise. Interestingly, this means that there are no rides at the resort that get guests wet. But I guess you can just go to Parc Asterix for that. And also to have fun. Zing! Okay, okay. You can probably guess how I feel about this. Pirates of the Caribbean is legitimately interesting. It pretty much has all the same scenes as the one at Disneyland, but in a completely different order. Which is fascinating if you're super familiar with Disneyland's but have never been on this one. Featuring Johnny Depp speaking French! Looks cool. Closed. This was open, though. Love a rope bridge. Or a bouncy bridge. Any kind of bridge really. If Disneyland Paris was one big bridge, I'd probably be singing a very different tune, is what I'm saying. Most people say this is the best Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. And I don't know, maybe. The tunnels between the station and the island are cool, no doubt, but this one felt a big rougher than the others I've ridden. Lots of push/pull. Maybe I just caught it on a bad day or whatever. Phantom Manor might've been the highlight of the resort for me. I'm not saying it's better than Disneyland or Magic Kingdom's Haunted Mansions. They're all sort of dynamically equal to me. But this one has lots and lots of unique elements that I really enjoyed, and I'm really happy I got to ride it a few times, because it's really good and also super interesting if you've been on the other ones a bunch of times. I almost want to say I like this one the best...but there are a couple of things missing that I miss. Oh, what the heck, I'll give Disneyland Paris this one. Sign me up as happy haunt #100! Ah. Okay, sorry for being such a Disney hater. But, but, but...I really did enjoy the rides! Especially Tower of Terror; Ratatouille; Pirates of the Caribbean; Snow White, Pinocchio, and Peter Pan in Fantasyland--which I didn't mention but did ride; Buzz Lightyear; Star Tours; and Autopia. Crush's Coaster was fun, and all the little Toy Story rides were good. They're all just hard to get to. And I don't just mean because they're in France. Delta One both ways, not because I'm rich but because I'm too old to prioritize money over comfort at this point. Bonus points for anyone who can identify the movie onscreen. That's it! Thanks for reading, and stay tuned for my visit to Walt Disney World next month!

yet another reason why SFFT and the team there are among the crown jewels in the SF chain. Very nice tribute, Mr. Siebert, and R.I.P. Mr. Zamperla

^ Yes, the Cliffhanger trains were half-filled at best. In fact, the other one cycling — for quite a few laps — just had one rider also riding again and again and again. I'm guessing it's the train design as the roughest sections were basically the same moves (any turns that also doubled as dips). It can't be tracking issues for such a new ride, but it felt like tracking issues, as though the wheels were hitting potholes. It wasn't just rattly in a B&M sense but actually quite bumpy. For what it's worth, I preferred the front. I felt that the airtime on the first drop was more or less the same throughout, but the front gave a better sense of speed. Most of the mazes were just reboots, and I doubt they even dismantle them during the year. That might be why the new one felt so cheap and basic? Because they do need to dismantle that one? In terms of the missing effects in Buried Alive, it may have been a staffing issue. The elevator effect was there, but it wasn't functioning and it was basically just a section to walk through. Last year, or the year before, the doors closed and the room started shaking to make it seem like you're going down a mine shaft. Still, I dig mazes like what SFFT (and other SF parks) offer, perhaps even more than the big-budget places. There's a camp charm to store-bought rubbery props that I kind of like.

I dropped by SFFT’s Halloween event tonight — a good move as the park was quite dead (ha!). From what I gather, there was some ambiguity online as to whether the park was open, so this — combined with the weeknight — may have been to blame for how quiet the place was. Either way, all of the rides were a walk-on and all of the mazes were a walk-in. I managed to ride all the usual rides multiple times as ride ops were letting folks take re-rides in open seats. Wonder Woman seemed to be having issues, and the mechanics ended up pulling one train off completely. The one that remained was not tracking well at all. Iron Rattler, Superman, and Poltergeist (the park’s best rides) were all running as well as ever. I also took my first rides on the new dive coaster — several, in fact, since there was nobody waiting in the station when the trains returned. As such, I got try all three rows in a range of seats without having to go through the queue show rooms each time. However, it didn't quite do it for me. I like B&M dive coasters, and I really enjoyed Valravn when it first opened even though enthusiasts didn’t seem all that enamored. This one looks good, is well placed, and does all the things it needs to do to draw crowds in. In other words, it’s fine. For me, though, I thought the first drop was the only real stand-out moment. B&M should make all subsequent dive coaster drops extra steep as the additional degrees DO make a difference. You get a proper (albeit brief) free fall feeling akin to Knotts’ Hang Time no matter where you sit. The inversions that follow are standard-fare B&M conventions, but what followed the mid-course break run felt somewhat meandering, and that bunny hill didn’t do much for me in any of the rows. But what really surprised me was how bumpy some of my rides were. I suspect it’s the fault of the trains, as the middle seat in all three rows was much better overall. But a ride this new — especially a B&M — shouldn't feel the way this ride feels. There were three or four areas in the track where the train was not just rattling but jolting around. In fact, after five or so rides, I started to get a headache. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not unpleasantly violent or overly aggressive, but it did feel unusually jerky for a B&M. In terms of the Halloween stuff, I’ve always had a soft-spot for the way Six Flags and their shoestring budgets handle such events. Given that it was a weekday, the event wasn’t well staffed, which I expected, so there weren’t that many scare actors around. But those who were dressed up were pretty into their roles. In terms of the mazes, I still like Slaughterhouse the best. It’s probably the most maze-like with some of the goriest effects and tricks throughout. House of Houngan is still the most detailed and most impressive looking. Rockkill High looked the same as previous years, as did Buried Alive. However, quite a few of the main effects in Buried Alive from recent years were no longer working (the elevator effect as well as a number of animatronic props). CarnEvil just isn’t up to par, and the new Trapped was by far the least impressive of the event for me. For the most part, it was just an asylum setting with minimal props, decor, and lots of rags, sheets, blood, and smeared poop. The standard walkway scare zones weren’t particularly effective, but the park had a couple of zones that were much longer and more immersive. Fear Acres for instance, hosted in the water park, was particularly strong. Overall, a good night to go. The mazes haven’t changed much, but (aside from Trapped), they all do the best they can with the resources available. A few pics: Fear Acres is a good example of a scare zone functioning more like a maze. If I recall correctly, much of this used to be in the queue line for the rapids ride. The usual entryway props. This one was over by the water chute ride entrance. A general view of how quiet the place was. Same spot but different path. More large-scale props in the main entry plaza by Boomerang. This was the main entry way around 9pm. The place was empty.

the masturbating idols get blue balls. . .it's perfect

I think basically everyone agrees with you on that. It's stupid, but it's so stupid that I've grown to love it for being so stupid.

Adventure Express looked fantastic for its 30th birthday. So excited to see the queue and ride get more love. Yay for more flats in the spot of that old removed slingshot, a huge improvement. Now let's talk about Action Zone..

Kings Island has sent us a press release announcing the addition of a new themed area, Adventure Port, with two new family rides and updated theming for Adventure Express. Adventure will take center stage at Kings Island in 2023 when the amusement park debuts its newest themed area, Adventure Port. Located between Coney Mall and Action Zone, the area will feature two new family rides and enhanced theming for Adventure Express, the park’s mine train family roller coaster. Additional improvements include a refresh of Hank’s Mexican Grill which will be renamed to Enrique’s. The current Bier Garten will be transformed into a portside Mercado, a favorite watering hole for tourists and explorers. “What I love about Adventure Port is that we’ve taken parts of the Adventure Express story and built upon it to create this new themed area,” said Mike Koontz, vice president and general manager of Kings Island. “When guests who have been coming to the park for years visit this area for the first time, the story will feel familiar, but it will be told in a whole new way.” Adventure Port Backstory The myths of an ancient civilization, and its mighty city carved out of stone, have lured travelers from around the globe to this bustling port community for more than a century. Resting in the foothills of overgrown mountains and dense tropical terrain, Adventure Port is a hub for explorers searching for an ancient civilization’s forbidden temple and mysterious wonders. If asked, the locals will tell tales of those who came before and vanished. Did they unwittingly disturb ancient spirits and fall victim to an age-old curse? Adventure Port Rides Sol Spin: This recently discovered mechanism appears to be an immense sun disk created by an ancient civilization. Riders will board open air, suspended passenger vehicles and experience the sensation of flying 60 feet through the air at 25 m.p.h. Cargo Loco: Their methods might be a little dizzying, but the Arrow Cargo Company will get your goods from Point A to Point B...eventually. Riders will board these shipping barrels where they will be able to manually control the speed of their spin with a wheel in the middle of the barrel. Adventure Express: Embark on a treasure hunting mine train expedition in search of a forbidden temple. This family coaster opened in 1991 and features a 63 ft. first drop with speeds up to 35 m.p.h. Enhancements for 2023 include a relocated queue line and additional theming. The ride was repainted in advance of the 2022 season. The project’s design is being led by JRA, part of the RWS Entertainment Group with headquarters in Cincinnati, Ohio. Other contractors on the project include RSL Commercial Architects, Schaefer Engineers, Abercrombie and Associates and SHP Architects. The best way to experience Adventure Port is with a with a 2023 Gold Season Pass available now at the lowest price of the year until October 30. The Gold Pass includes unlimited Kings Island visits this year to Tricks and Treats Fall Fest, Halloween Haunt and WinterFest plus every public operating day in 2023.

I feel this as a traffic engineer too, drivers cause their own traffic, there's only so much you can do herding sheep. See that huge acceleration lane buddy? Why are you stopped at the end of the ramp? Whatever. Get rear-ended.

if anyone was wondering, I "disappeared" from online for a bit due to an illness and death (that I don't think I'll ever be over). so I missed the grand opening, VIP party, and all the events surrounding the opening of Dr. Diabolical. i'm going to attempt a visit to the park this coming week (the last week of daily summer operations), as I'm still off work for bereavement. . . tho not sure i'll be up for actually riding anything, I'm going to try. So will see how it goes, and if I like the new ride. bert

row 17 is the sweet spot. its a non-wheel row, back car. best seats on the Beast

Well at least you're not opinionated.

they've posted multiple updates on their YouTube page: . . . they didn't redesign the ride, it's the same layout, so not really any rush to put out another POV, is there?

I still don't understand why we're supposed to hate this guy. If he outbid a bunch of other people who wanted to keep it as an amusement park then yeah, I could see why fans of the park would be disappointed but he was the only one who even bothered to bid because nobody wanted the place. He bought an entire amusement park and giant waterfront property for $1.2 million. None of these preservationist groups put in a bid. Even if someone scraped together some money on GoFundMe and put in a losing bid, at least we could say that SOMEONE wanted the place but nobody else did. Obviously I've always been vocal about how much I disliked this park but I'm really not taking this stance because of that. If Standard Amusements came in and said "We're going to buy it, bring in GCI to fix up the coaster, clean the place up and add a bunch of new rides" I would have been like "F*ck yeah!" and I WISH that happened but it didn't. Also, they put the rides up for sale including Blue Streak at one point. Nobody bought them. They probably would have let someone take that thing for free if they covered the cost of getting it out of there but again... nobody wanted it. Nobody wanted the park or the coaster but everyone wanted to tell the only guy who did want it how he was supposed to run the place that they couldn't be bothered to bid a single penny on.