Photo TR: Chuck Hits Kings Island and Holiday World

[cfc]

Part I: Ohio's Version of Knott Paramount's Kings Dominion

 

You might say that it's been awhile since I last visited Kings Island. And you'd be right. I was there with some friends for Winterfest back in the late 1980s, and the only ride that was open was the boat to Magic Smurfland, or something. We rode it because it was indoors and, above all, heated. So, I guess you can say I've been to Kings Island without actually having been to Kings Island (if that makes any sense).

 

So, when Erik asked me to tag along on a nice, long weekend to check out KI and Holiday World, I said "what the hell--let's go."

 

I've heard rather mixed reviews for KI--everything from "this is the best park ever!" to "craphole of the damned." As usual, I found the truth somewhere in the middle. KI on Saturday, May 2, 2009, was a very good park, indeed, with plenty to recommend it. It was clean, and operations were very good (even on the lower-capacity rides, of which there are plenty). Why, there's even a new coaster there! Perhaps you've heard of it.

 

Here are my thoughts on KI's coaster collection (from best to worst, as usual), with two exceptions--the kiddie coaster that really is just for kiddies and Firehawk, which just had too long a line (plus, I'm not a big fan of Vekoma flyers).

 

Diamondback: B&M has done it again--another excellent hypercoaster. This ride has plenty of air as it slithers and, well, snakes around the park. From the first drop to the splashdown, it just doesn't let up, and B&M's new seating arrangement (first seen on Behemoth) works very well. Try for a backseat ride after dark.

 

Beast: A big, bad, sprawling woodie--a beast, indeed. I liked the Beast quite a bit (especially in a nonwheel seat), and it's at its best after dark, careening through the woods and through a maze of tunnels. It's a little rough (but no worse than Kings Dominion's Grizzly), not to mention heavily braked in parts--but lots of fun.

 

Flight of Fear: This is the same ride as KD's, only there's no Haunt maze in the queue, and the music still works. Still a blast.

 

The Racer: This woodie is the park's oldest coaster and was the forerunner for KD's Rebel Yell and Carowinds' Thunder Road. Racer is the best of this crew--it was running well that day.

 

Flight Deck: I like the Arrow suspended coasters, and Flight Deck didn't disappoint (even if it is a bit brief). The coaster uses the terrain well (it's built in a small ravine), but it is looking a bit ragged (word is that the park wants to sell it). I prefer BGW's Big Bad Wolf and SFMM's Ninja, but Flight Deck is a good, solid ride.

 

Adventure Express: I think this is one of the better mine-train coasters in the States (outside Disney's Big Thunder series). It's too bad that the animatronics and effects aren't working anymore, but it's still a fun ride.

 

Backlot Stunt Coaster: KI's version seems to run better than KD's, even if there's no "splashdown" (it was dry on Saturday). An OK ride, but not worth more than a 15-minute wait.

 

Invertigo: I'm not a big fan of Vekoma's "Boomerang" type coasters, but this one was OK--about the same as the defunct Two-Face at Six Flags America.

 

Vortex: A rough and painful, twisted and tortured Arrow loop/corkscrew job. This thing clobbers you at every opportunity, but it is more interesting that KD's Anaconda.

 

Fairly Odd Coaster: Scooby, Scooby Doo, here are you . . . yeah, we've all ridden this wooden coaster for kids before. OK for what it is.

 

Runaway Reptar: A Vakoma kiddie suspended with some clever drive-in-movie theming, if little else. Not as painful as Carowinds' version, and still a better ride than . . .

 

Son of Beast: Proof positive that bigger does not necessarily equal better, this enormous stack of kindling shakes you like an epilectic seizure--that is, when it isn't boring you to death. Really, I felt like a wino with a bad case of the DTs and a serious hangover after riding this thing. On the upside, there's plenty of room here for something good if the park decides to cut off the Beast's bastard son once and for all. (Where's Dr. Phil when you need him?)

 

KI also had the best version of the Scooby Doo shooting dark rides. It has much of the same stuff as they have at KD and Carowinds, but adds some scenes not found at the other two parks, is longer, and uses an "Omnimover" type ride system to boot. The ride is in the same building that used to house to Smurf boats, so I guess I've come full circle.

 

I enjoyed KI quite a bit--even more so due to the company (Erik, Andrew, Guy, James, and Zach). The weather was perfect, too.

 

Here's a look at our day there.

Let's end this segment with the backside of a helicopter on a stick. More to come.

An unacceptable level of dryness.

Aren't those little trains just adorable? Couldn't you just hug them? Of course, they would not return your affection--nor would they spurn you.

Presenting "Acklot" Stunt Coaster!

Hmm--the fellow on the left has the look of someone who was not "responsible" for his loose "articles." Yes, you just let them flop all over the place while riding a beast! Admit it!

Yes, you must be responsible for your loose "articles" when you ride a beast.

Grr! Me Beast! Me make little girly Grizzly cry like baby!

Nothing new to see here. Move along.

Oh. Never mind.

And just what is "fairly odd" about this ride?

. . . "meh" ride.

Cute theming . . .

"My God! It's better than anything at Kings Dominion! Who would've thought that such a thing was possible?"

"Sorry, kid--it just won't work. One, you don't have a womb. Two, I may be a million tons of twisted steel and sex appeal, but I lack the equipment necessary for insemination. Find yourself a nice girl."

"Mr. Diamondback, sir--may I have your baby?"

Now you don't!

Now you see it.

I do like that nice, floaty B&M airtime.

. . . and aw-a-a-a-ay we go!

Almost there . . .

This is something called a "lifthill." Without it, this ride would be very boring, indeed.

Erik is all set--let's check this bad boy out.

My, that's a big one.

Cedar Fair does make pretty kicik-ass signs.

If you guessed "Diamondback," you may have a cookie.

And with a moo and snort, the bulls are off and running--but to where? A hint--it's not to Son of Beast.

"Hey, little girly men! I'm over here!"

We did have to endure the indignity of waiting for the rope drop by the "Girl Space" store. Apparently, girls like having their "personal planet" stuffed.

OK, is everyone nice and oriented now? Do you know where we parked? Good--let's go in.

[cfc]

Have you had enough of Kings Island yet? No. Good.

Sorry, Guy--I'm no shape to avenge anyone after that. Still more to come from KI.

"Avenge me!"

"Well, if I'm gonna die, I may as well die sexy."

Two trains at once! I rule!

Can you find the teeny, weeny kiddie train on the gigantic coaster? Try it. It's fun!

There sure is a lot of potentially useful kindling there.

Expressions of fear, pain, and ennui look surprisingly similar.

Oh, dear lord.

So, here's a pic of Guy and James instead.

I fail at taking pictures of this ride.

OK, who here would feel a bit strange about ordering a "weiner bun with cheese"? And I thought you had to be in Nevada to order a "3 way."

It doesn't beat the crap out of you like Rebel Yell, either. And its paint even looks good.

Racer definitely runs smoother than Rebel Yell.

After all, it is ACE approved.

Perhaps this old-school woodie will sooth my jangled nerves.

It's Bizzaro Flight of Fear!

Aghh! This can't be Virginia! There's no Haunt maze in here!

God, am I back in Virginia? There's something strangely familiar about this place.

The Phantom Arm of Too-Mer points us toward . . . now cut that out! You're just heading toward Flight of Fear.

Sorry, I just thought Vortex needed a "backstory." Yes, it was rather derivative, but it was meant as a "homage." OK, so it was a "sucky" homage.

. . . and in the darkness bind them.

One loop to being them all . . .

One loop to find them.

One loop to rule them all.

But Too-Mer's powers were strong! He tricked them all!

So, one day, the king's men constructed an enormous steel cage to keep Too-Mer's evil from spreading.

Legends tell of an evil wizard named Too-Mer and his Vortex of pain and death.

[cfc]

What? There's still more Kings Island to come? Joy!

Pfft! Not much of a "secret" now, is it?

"Zoinks, Scoob! There's some freaky TPR people here!"

Presenting the "Phantom Manor" of Scooby Doo rides.

These poor folks were stuck, too. They got Diamondback running again a few hours later.

Hmm--Houston, we have a problem.

It's Andrew and Zach--through the air gate!

"Just stop right there, fella!"

Look--a lost hat! I shall climb over the fence to retrieve it.

If only Monsanto would develop some sort of "coastercide" to stop this scourge.

God, these "Boomerang" like things just sprout like dandelions, don't they?

It is a tower, and it does, indeed, drop something.

Presenting Drop Tower.

Evidently not.

Say, did you know this, Zach?

Actually, I'm far more interested in how much TNT it would take to knock down Son of Beast.

. . . and is over in a blink of an eye.

Even if it does have a silly name . . .

It really is a lot of fun.

Hmm--let's see . . . taking of pictures is prohibited . . . aw, crap!

The long and winding queue/That takes me to Flight Deck . . .

[cfc]

Just one more wee set of KI photos to go.

. . . and we're going to Indiana tomorrow. Thanks for a great day, Kings Island.

But the hour is growing late . . .

Yay for backseat rides on Diamondback!

James finds the sign on the lower right annoying. Why do you have to wear both shoes and sandals?

If you squint, you can just make out the fireworks.

Looks like the night has brought out the Beast in Guy!

"Yep--may as well just get on the Top Spin." (It was actually kind of fun.)

"Folks, if you're waitin' for that bat to move, you're gonna be waitin' a long time. Trust me."

And ginormous bats!

Spooky, atmospheric lighting.

Like giant spiders!

We found more stray theming in The Crypt.

This train takes you by KI's well-hidden rapids ride and to the water park.

Hmm--looks like some stray "theming."

After our dinner of kung pao schnitzel (or egg foo pizza), a nice, relaxing train ride seemed in order.

"Goot! I could use a nice bowl of . . . kung pao chicken?"

"Look, Fritz! Das Festhaus!"

Mulch: The Ride.

[packfanlv]

Great pictures and captions as always Chuck. I too tried to lick my elbow, but failed.

 

Thanks for sharing.

[DiSab]

Don't feel too bad about not being able to photograph Adventure Express. That thing is damn near impossible to take a picture of.

[PKI Jizzman]

Chuck!

 

What a great report! Excellent pictures, and a fantastic job documenting the day! Hehe, I finally got a picture of myself trying to lick my elbow! Err....I mean, riding Diamondback!

 

Thanks for a fun visit and superior pictures!

-Zach

[cfc]

Part II: Merry/Happy Everything at Holiday World

 

On Sunday, May 3, after stoking up at Waffle House, we were off on the three-hour drive to Indiana's Holiday World in our rented PT Cruiser, which Guy reminded us was the second-most dangerouns make of car on the road today. (Fortunately, we didn't have to put any of its safety devices to the test.)

 

Holiday World is in a really pretty part of Indiana, with lots of woods and rolling hills (a perfect setting for the park's three wooden coasters). HW is themed to four major holidays, and being as the park is located in a town named for Santa Claus, it makes sense that you enter via Christmas (the other days are Halloween, Thanksgiving, and the Fourth of July). The park is quite clean and attractive, although the themeing looks like it came straight from Home Depot or Lowe's--not exactly "immersive" but adequate for the family groups that the park attracts. Crowds were pretty light that day, thanks to forecasted thinderstorms that never materialized (just some off-and-on drizzle),

 

Here's how the park's coasters stack up (best to worst--none are really "bad").

 

The Raven: This is the park's oldest, smallest woodie, but still the best. This deranged bird offers plenty of airtime as it careens through the woods, down to the water, and back to the station. We must've rode this sucker seven times.

 

The Voyage: Hmm--the Pilgrims must've had it pretty rough when they crossed the Atlantic--up one wave and down the other, heeling over NINETY DEGREES, nearly capsizing. This ride is absolutely insane--not to mention excellent (a good mix of air and laterals). I liked it a lot, although I still prefer Balder and El Toro.

 

The Legend: I've heard mixed reviews for this coaster, but it was running beautifullly that day--quite out of control. There isn't much air, but it whips you around all over the place (Ichabod Crane would never have come near this bad boy). It's a good, solid ride.

 

The Howler: HW's lone steel coaster is a Zamperla kiddie coaster. Yes, I whored it.

 

All the woodies use the park's woods and hilly terrain perfectly--you really have no idea what you're getting into until it's too late.

 

The Gobbler Getaway shooting, er, excuse me, turkey-calling dark ride is fun (the animatronic Granny is kind of creepy, though). I think Pilgrim's Plunge is a good addition, too--just intimidating enough while still being "family friendly." The freakiest part is the "rocking" elevator lift to the top of the tower. The drop itself is fun without being too intense, and, yes, you will get wet (but not Popeye-and-Bluto wet).

 

We enjoyed a nice fried-chicken lunch (and those free soft drinks) and a chat with Pat Koch, the park's owner--she was out and about making sure that everybody was having a good day.

 

Here's a look at Holiday World.

"You just can't reason with a headless man!" More to come.

"Don't try to stop and make a plan!"

Do you have this sign, Larry?

Next up, HW's tribute to "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow," in which you're Ichabod Crane fleeing the headless horseman. On a roller-coaster train. In Indiana.

'Bleah! Bleah! I vant to suck your . . ." (Oh, this is just so wrong.)

Hmm--confronting the darkness of existence, pain of grief, and inevitability of death sure works up a powerful thirst. Time for one of those free drinks.

"Shall be lifted--nevermore!" (OK class--I want 500 words on this coaster by next Wednesday.)

"And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor . . .

"And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor; . . .

"But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling . . ."

"I shall hold onto my breakfast--nevermore!"

Yes, if Edgar Allen Poe had designed a roller coaster, it would've been this one.

What? No smoke? So much for that witch burning we'd been planning.

. . . OK, enough of that--let's get to Halloween!

Don't forget the "reason for the season" . . .

. . . but I just can't put my finger on what it might be. (HW's Santa was pretty cool. We had a great chat with him before the rope drop.)

Yes, something here does suggest that time of year . . .

Hmm--I do believe we're in "Christmas."

Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Knott's and Disneyland!

"Excuse me, sir. But Holiday World requires 'shorts.' As you are clearly wearing 'pants,' you will not be admitted to the park."

So, fortified by a good, wholesome Waffle House breakfast, we arrive at Holiday World.

[spaceace12]

What day were you at Holiday world?

[Not For Sale]

So are you guys card carrying members of the hands in pockets club or are you just members for the newsletter?

[cfc]

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody--more from Holiday World.

They're OK! True American heroes! One last set of photos to come.

And the final result?

Is all well, gentlemen?

Phew! There they are.

Hmm--quite impossible to gauge their mood now, as we have lost "acquisition of signal."

Yes, they could be undergoing some stress here.

OK--level of concern of both subjects is definitely rising.

Hmm--Andrew is looking concerned, bordering on distressed, but Guy is relatively unpurturbed.

Not much concern yet.

Guy and Andrew very nicely agreed to demonstrate Pilgrim's Plunge's spalsh potential.

Here's what it did to me, and I was wearing a poncho.

Some of you have expressed concern over the size of the splash.

"Yep--there's your problem right there. Durn thing is fulla water!"

Next up, a slightly more realistic representation of the Pilgrims' voyage. (Well, it does involve boats, at least.)

"Oh, silly me! 'Full Metal Jacket' was on AMC last night, and I just get so flummoxed some times. But I have other interestin' Thanksgiving stories . . . where's everybody goin'? Please come back! I get so lonely . . ."

"Yes, I remember one particularly hectic Thanksgiving. Charlie had us pinned down somewhere in Suk Muk Province. Land sakes, there was mortars and body parts a'flyin' every whichaway! So much that that they scared off the company's turkeys! So, armed with nothin' but these here turkey callers and Yankee guts, we went into the jungle after them gobblers. I lost 20 good buddies that day, but no turkeys fell into commie hands!"

Time for one of the weirdest shooters, er, turkey callers, ever.

"Hello, I'm a Franciscan monk--mind if I ride with you?"

 

"I AM DEATH!"

 

"Nice to meet you--is this seat taken?"

. . . Death was never far behind.

. . . or how relieved they may have felt at reaching Plymouth Rock . . .

But no matter how fast the Pilgrims went . . .

. . . to grow corn, and to wear hats with buckles.

. . . by learning how to kill turkeys, . . .

But the Pilgrims overcame their petty differences . . .

"I told you we should've got a freakin' boat!"

. . . and make friends with Squanto!"

"Off we go to escape religious repression . . .

Cameron is easily distracted by nautical theming.

And now, a rousing tribute to the Pilgrims.

Looks like smoked turkey is out too--darn!

OK. No smoke on a holiday that calls for fireworks. Can anybody tell me what's wrong with this picture?

[cfc]

And, with this set of pictures, we bid a fond farewell to Holiday World.

Thanks for a great day, Holiday World. And my thanks to Erik, Andrew, Guy, James, Cameron, and Zach.

See all those empty seats? They we're full just a moment ago! Now those poor souls writhe in Hellfire!

"The higher I go, the more I get of your soul!"

Admit it--you're petrified with fear! Your flesh is crawling!

This ride will swallow your soul!

"Chicken good!"

Lunch at last.

Another ride that makes you proud to be an American. Ride this, or the terrorists win!

"Yeah, you'll keep well in this pumpkin shell. Heh, heh, heh!"

Er, this is a bit "dark" for a kiddie train ride, don't you think?

My God! Flying water! Who would've thought such a thing was conceivable? Holidog has remarkable powers!

Hmm--apparently Andrew's pride gave out somewhere.

Yay for dog-butt coaster!

I get to whore a coaster while sitting in a dog's butt. (Andrew had enough pride to pass on this credit.)

Hmm--a kid's section. You know what this means.

[jamesdillaman]

^ Yeah, don't thank me or anything, Chuck. I rode son of beast with you.... knowing how awful it was!

 

-James Dillaman

[Erik Johnson]

I love the photos of Guy's cape, err poncho, while on Pilgrim's Plunge. Oh by the way, that was Pat Koch that came over and talked with us during lunch.

[cfc]

^ Yeah, don't thank me or anything, Chuck. I rode son of beast with you.... knowing how awful it was!

 

-James Dillaman

 

Fixed--now quit yer whinin'!

 

^And fixed--thanks, Erik.

[JimmyBo]

Sweet! Another PTR of the sexiness that is Guy! Great pictures Chuck and the captions are always so clever and hilarious. Waffle before Holiday World is a must! I'm glad you enjoyed the Legend. The day I went to Holiday World The Legend was running better than The Raven and no one believes me but that's why I liked it better. Nothing beats the Voyage though. Although I have yet to ride El Toro

 

Great report Chuck!

[ginzo]

I'm glad you enjoyed the Legend. The day I went to Holiday World The Legend was running better than The Raven and no one believes me but that's why I liked it better.

 

I've never understood why the Legend has such a relatively bad rep. I think some people think it's rough, but it's never been a problem for me. And I do not like rough coasters. I've been to HW about 5 times since Voyage opened and have always found the back seat of the Legend to be a fun, out-of-control ride.

 

Also, it's nice to hear that Voyage is running well again this year. Frankly, I thought it ran like crap when I went last year. Sluggish and rough.

[Cameron]

Chuck, you're awesome!

 

Cameron.

 

PS: Great day with everyone, it was extremely difficult to get back to work on Monday after such a rockin' weekend!

[mcjaco]

What day were you at Holiday world?

 

It's the first sentence of his Holiday World post.......

[cfc]

^^No kidding, Cameron--I was kind of out it on Tuesday morning (as was everybody else in my office, for some reason).

[mcjaco]

^ Pepsi products do that to you.

[derwood]

Chuck....

 

Nice to see you enjoyed the bowels of Indiana. Captions were hilarious as always.

 

I need to get back to Kings Island. I haven't been since 2000 when SoB opened. I waited 3 hours for that POS.

 

d

[jamesdillaman]

^ With breakdowns and everything my brother and I waited 10.5 hours for it when it first opened... how do you think I felt after getting off that? At least they gave us free pictures and free pop when we got off.

 

-James Dillaman

[cfc]

Yet you rode it with us on Saturday. I'm touched.

 

And you're "tetched."

 

Erik said that last Saturday was his last ride ever on SoB.

[Electerik]

The park is quite clean and attractive, although the themeing looks like it came straight from Home Depot or Lowe's--not exactly "immersive" but adequate for the family groups that the park attracts.

 

I think Holiday World is really interesting as an example of a park that achieves good results largely through having strong theming concepts and sticking to them. If you look at the Halloween section, for example, it's mostly just a few small touches, some clever names, and lots of reminders that you are in "Halloween."

 

(4th of July, on the other hand, does not achieve the same results because its name are so vaguely tied to the theme.)

 

Still, I think the park has (objectively) probably about as much total theming "props" (for lack of a better word) as Cedar Point does! Holiday World's are just arranged in a "more than the sum of its parts" kind of way, whereas Cedar Point's are tossed around without any kind of overall plan or special arrangement.

 

/Not disagreeing with Chucks' assessment.

//Just tossing in my own insane views.