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Then the Joker has already won!

I suspect that this is the work of that Clown Prince of Crime . . . . . . the Joker!

^^Scott's is my favorite so far. But here's another for you.

I hope it comes out in some form--sounds like a very interesting little movie.

Worth repeating. Please remember this rule. Thanks.

The Cheshire Cat was the first thing that come to my mind, too, when I saw the logo.

^I agree, but I'm not sure he can overcome the legal hurdles.

^Why do I have a feeling that this will not end well for this guy?

^Ah, so they did, indeed, know their audience.

And all this time I thought that the legendary Graveyard of the Parking Lot Trams was somewhere deep in the Congo.

Did the water jets shoot dangerous, spear-like icicles?

^^I think they should add "Mondo Bondage" and "White Punks on Dope" by the Tubes to that song list.

Then we can hear the satanic messages in the music.

Yes, there's more to see at Happy Valley Shenzhen. Care to look? Here's one last look at Bullet Coaster, the park's star attraction. Or maybe this is the park's star attraction. Happy Valley Shenzhen is a very nice looking park. Why, you can even hit the beach at Happy Valley. Hmm--looks like we found another star attraction . . . . . . and Larry found a new friend. Yes, there is a striking resemblance. You're probably all asking, "OK--where's the standard Happy Valley carnival Disk-O?" Well, here's your answer. Is there really a big market in China for these dolls? This souvenir is quite useful for channeling your inner Moe: "Pick two!" Divv, would you rather be alone? Off to the Magic Castle . . . . . . even though some of it is "under constriction." ("Restriction" + "Construction" = "Constriction" in China.) Not to worry, Mr. Giant Ant! I have no intention of approaching any "constriction" areas! "HI HELLO HI HELLO HI . . ." Another version of Desperadoes--yes! Oh no! Stacey has finally snapped--and she has a gun! Anyone up for Ghetto North Pole Adventure? Looks like Santa been drinking from a lit Sterno can again. OK, these look nothing like the "portraits" of the kids and dog at the other Happy Valleys. Stacey abandoned us to play steel drum for a band of Jamaican ants. Look! An impenetrable jungle! "Have no fear! This is my domain, and I protect those who come here--for I am Larry, Lord of the Jungle!" "I say! Those stories we heard in Mombassa about 'Larry, Lord of the Jungle' are true!" "Help us, Larry, Lord of the Jungle!" "Knoss Berry Faym"? I wonder if they have any "Boysenbessy pye," or something like that? I completely support this policy. "Hi, Piers! I see you're hanging out at Happy Valley parks, again." "Ya know, pardner, fer a dude in drag, you shore are one ugly woman." Soak the Klansman and win a kewpie doll! We were very pleased to wait for Gold Mine Audio Room because we all like to hear stuff. The Audio Room set is a big dining hall. The whole thing was in Chinese, so I have no idea what the story was about. Hmm--what attraction in the Magic Kingdom's "Nexus of Suck" does this remind me of? Now that is one well-hung alien. Oops! I just gave away the ending. Sorry about that. That's all for Happy Valley Shenzhen--it was a great day! On to Hong Kong! That's all for now.

Chapter 19: One Last Fling in Mainland China--Happy Valley Shenzhen It seemed appropriate that we finished our stay in mainland China at the oldest park in the Happy Valley chain--Shenzhen. You could really tell that this was the "patriarch" of group because it felt more "complete," and the newer Happy Valleys seem to follow its lead when it comes to theming (for example, a "snow" area themed to Shangri-La and a "Gold Mine Town"). This Happy Valley had a pretty solid set of coasters, with "real" rides over Chinese clones, for the most part. (But it does lack a woodie and a Mega-Lite.) It was great to finally get a chance to ride a working S&S launched coaster--Bullet Coaster was intense, and a lot of fun. Their actual Vekoma Mine Train , with the catchy monicker of Gold Mine Train, was yet another well-themed family ride. They even had a real Vekoma SLC (Snow Mountain Flying Dragon), which was OK for what it was. But fans of Golden Horse should not despair, for Shenzhen did have one of their Spinning Coasters (Wild Elfin), and the park's Baby Coaster appeared to be a knock-off Wacky Worm. But outside of the coasters, this park had plenty of attractions to keep guests busy, including two haunted walk throughs (which were next door to each other), the odd Gold Mine Audio Room (where you sit around in the dark wearing headphones and listening toe "3D" audio), and an uber cheesy ripoff of Disney's Extraterrestrial Alien Encounter (so bad that it must be experienced at least once). There was even an obstacle course. But being the oldest of the chain presents some extra challenges, too. The children's section of the park, Magic Castle, was pretty rundown in parts, and the park was doing some work there. Their version of North Pole Adventure, the "shoot Santa and his elves" dark ride, was easily the most moth eaten of the entire trip--the show lighting was off, and there had been some half-hearted attempts to patch parts of it. But, hey, they did have Desperadoes. (Yay!) That's a minor complaint, though, as the park looks pretty nice overall. I really enjoyed the place, and it was my favorite of the Happy Valleys, along with Chendu. Let's go in. Try not to trample (or be trampled by) the roaming hordes of schoolchildren! It's time to make MAGIC at Happy Valley Shenzhen. And to make MAGIC requires discipline. These will help ensure that you make only MAGIC at the park. Oh boy! I hope we make it to "Typhoom Bay" in time for the Tuna Square show! "HI HELLO HI HELLO HI!" These kids really seemed happy to see us. Hmm--this looks rather familiar. I do believe we've encountered this sign a few times before. Yay for a real Vekoma--but Golden Horse does a fair job with Mine Trains, too. Pastel colors aside, this trains looks rather "Big Thunderesque." We struck here next. Baby Coaster's intended audience versus . . . . . . Baby Coaster's unintended audience. As you can see from this photo, the group was eagerly anticipating this, er, eagerly anticipated attraction. And the fist of a mighty worm shall lead them. "You know, they don't have any Golden Horse Spinning Coasters in Scotland. My life is now complete." Nice cars, at least. I have no idea what "spray frying" is--or why it needs a "king." "Oh my god! Schoolchildren AND coaster enthusiasts? It's the end times!" "I know man! Game over!" "I can't face them both! I'd rather die this way!" "My people come to your world in peace to share our superior turkey leg technology." "Snowymo Untain Flies the Dragon"? OK, who signed off on this? Er, is it supposed to go here? This was an interesting way to mount a test seat. The SLC wasn't open yet--but the walk throughs were. This is the entrance to Safely Back from Haunted House. At least, I think that's the name. It featured live actors whacking you with feather dusters. And I think this is Haunted Glacier, but it's a little hard to tell from the map. It did have a creepy person in a bloodied lab coat . . . . . . as well as dead yetis! Oh my god! Mad scientists dissecting yetis! Bastards! By the time we finished being horrified, the SLC had opened. The queue reminded me a bit of the queue for Expedition: Everest. Yes, it's an SLC with Tibetan trappings. Er . . . oops? There's an interesting story behind how we got "ERT" of sorts on Bullet Coaster. Bullet Coaster was closed during the first half of the day because Dean Gunnarson, an escape artist (fellow Canadian Jon is pointing to his picture), was attempting a death-defying stunt on the track. Well, Dean survived. When he discovered there was a another group who had come a long way to ride this coaster, he interceded for us with the park staff, who agreed to let us be the first "public" riders that day. The airtime on this hill is insane. Bullet Coaster is a little rough in parts, but still a very good ride. And as they come into the home stretch . . . . . . Brian looks absolutely terrified! More to come.

I highly recommend Devil in the White City, Erik Larson's fascinating account of the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago, which provided us with a number things we take for granted today (for example, the Ferris wheel and AC power). He also tells the sick story of Herman Webster Mudgett (aka, H. H. Holmes), a serial killer who used the fair as a means to obtain victims and was even worse than Jack the Ripper. Mudgett's doings also inspired Robert Bloch's novel American Gothic.

Fixed. DIE! They are totally different! Are you concerned that the centrifugal force of Windseeker will hurl you across the park if the arm you're riding breaks?

Very true - All I know is that each park visit I took in 2011 and 2012 - the queue was full for each Windseeker we came across. And it's a REALLY HIGH capacity ride. So I guess that speaks volumes for the attraction? At Kings Dominion, I think it's a good "middle-ground" ride for those who are bored by the chair swings but think Drop Tower is too intense.

^I know what you mean. I was at SFStL for the ridiculously hot day during the Mid-America Tour--just about as hot and humid as that day at Mitsui Greenland (Japan Trip) in 2007.

It's like the old cliche says: "It's not the heat, it's the humidity." I grew up in the San Joaquin Valley of California, and a dry 102-degree day there is easier to take than a 90-degree day in Virginia with outrageous humidity.

It's a rave for robots.

To be fair, I've been to SFMM for a few TPR events and enjoyed the park--there are some solid coasters (for example, Tatsu, Batman, and Apocalypse, and I rather enjoyed X2, as well).

Yes, Dollywood has great food. As do Silver Dollar City and Knoebels (not haute cuisine, but well-made amusement-park food for a reasonable price). Note that the name of this site is "Theme Park Review," and not "Roller Coaster Review." While we do, indeed, lover roller coasters here, we also focus more on the overall park experience. For example, my favorite theme park is Tokyo DisneySea, which has only one coaster, which I haven't even ridden yet. No one has topped the atmosphere of that park, at least for me. Six Flags parks are quite variable. SFOT, SFOG, SF Great America, and SFSL are good parks; SFMM and SFA, not so much. If you're simply at a park for the coasters, that's OK. But other park chains (Disney, Universal, and SeaWorld) offer much better overall experiences than Six Flags. I take it that you meant "variable"? Or is Panda Express prone to fits of violence?