Not For Sale

Jeez, I've been to IOA a kajillion times and I haven't noticed almost all the details in that. You've opened my eyes.

This is transcendent

This is the most comprehensive look at the back of my head in recent years.

Banks is actually a TPR member and a real nice dude the one time I met him.

Dear Zachary and A State of Mind are the only things that come to mind as actually disturbing me, as they're documentaries. They're both on watch instantly on Netflix if you want to have a nice time.

Aaaahahahahahahahaha

Jesus Christ this sounds like the weirdest show ever. I need to see it.

This is seriously awesome.

Much better suited for the movie thread than its own. Also, this really barely has to do with theme parks. http://themeparkreview.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=4&t=247

But can he wink?

WHAT

Oh hey, guys. I'm doing an update. Before AFTER That's right, folks, we're in Carowinds in the Carolinas. And what better way to start this update than with a dick joke? Adam thinks this update is SO 2009. I'm a regular Hanno, aint I? Yeah, for some reason they gave us this ride to ourselves. It was weird. It was like they just didn't want us near the public. And you can see why. Boy were we embarrassed. How naive we all were... "ALLISON YOU'RE IN THE WAY OF THE DIRT AGAIN YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!" "Screw it. They'll never build anything here." You see, it's funny because I put my glasses OVER my mask. I don't get it. Hi Andrew Hi Dave. Hi Mike. Hi Allison "Enough, idiots." I think this is the first official "period piece" we've ever done. Back when segregation was still legal. Back when I had any idea what the joke is supposed to be in this picture. And then a civil war broke out over whether or not Coca-Cola Classic is delicious and refreshing. OF COURSE IT IS. OH. MY. GOD. REMEMBER OUR CLOTHES BACK IN 2009? Au revoir, Carowinds! Oh hello, Pigeon Forge. Lookin' awful nice tonight. I distinctly remember this joke not even working in person. If anyone wants to explain it to me, I'm listening. So the management at took us around the back of Mystery Mine and said that they were going to murder us. Someone forgot to bring the bullets. Get your act together, guys! Don't half-ass it, Adam. Yes, I know the management half-assed killing us, doesn't mean you should half-ass your posing. That's more like it, boy! Now, speaking of dropping things... Know what? Naaah. Notice how the Roth stalks its prey... And strikes at the most opportune moment. A Roth in his native environ celebrates his kill. A Culkin expresses his surprise. Down, Adam! You guys like these things, right? Hey look, stuff! "Thing that holds stuff good?" Adam's fired. Adam made me put these in. Thanks for sticking with us, guys. We really do appreciate it. The Lake Winniemandnaka/Alabama Adventure update will be up soon(ish).

USF.DQ.UPDATE. Remember that update we promised? Of course you don't! So here it is! These were actually taken this year, but in January. People loved hair metal then. Guys, the game isn't even on. Gross. Don't check the slot, folks. Apparently I have some fans in the window. This joke was topical in January. Wait, is this Hadrosaur Cove? RIP Oh hey guys, we're just hanging out on the set of our sitcom, The Bryan and Adam Show. I'm sure there's a reference in this sign that if I referenced would be amazing. Adam is inspecting to see if this shark is kosher. It isn't. Man, f*** censorship. "You guys realize you could stop being lazy and not have lens flare if you took that picture from the other side, right?" "Yeah, why?" Yes, I do come here often. Thank you. I don't get this joke but Adam thinks it's a hoot and a holler, so I included it. Also, check out Nelson's crotchdirt. AHAHAHAHAHA THEY SELL DOUGHNUTS HERE FUNNAY. Adam looks like he's 90 in this picture. Also, hi Dan. YOUR SOULS ARE MINE. Yes, Adam's does say best lover. And I'm best nothing. I'm sure Allison would agree. Naturally, we experienced the I Love Lucy attraction and played the game while waiting in the pre-show room. Not exactly. Willem Dafoe is a s***head. This joke would have been topical and original. Move over, Universal, it's time for DisneyQuest! If it was up to Adam, he'd choose "not Kansas anymore (Pandora)" So much brushed steel up in here I thought I was in Ikea for a second. God damn this place is stupid. Oh, right! Colin was there too. Him and Adam like hanging out with plain t-shirts. Yes, Adam got the wheelchair seat. For those of you that don't know, this thing is called Ride the Comix (I think) and it's terrible virtual reality from the late 90s. Listen. I have no real idea how well Adam did in this thing, but this picture speaks volumes on how he probably did. Let me hazard a guess and say Colin wasn't too good either. Adam! Your arm! And then the Navigator comes to put them out of their misery. Thanks, y'all. Scroll down for some antics from the Deep South trip at Carowinds and Dollywood if you care to.

^Why would they do that? Do you know how much that would cost them to maintain?

This belongs in the random section. Please be careful about that next time. Also, you need to fix your grammar. Posts not written in proper English seem lazy and lead people to not care about what you're posting. It's for your own good. -Bryan

My name on it is Bryanstoll, creatively.

I wonder if they'll serve this

If anybody is in the market for a free bag of crap, @ThemeParkReview is holding a contest for failed haikus relating to TPR.

"7 or 8"

Adam just came.

Remember, you only have until Tuesday at 11:59 PST to follow and download your free copy of Coaster Expedition Volume 4! Follow @ThemeParkReview for the link. Make sure to actually use your Twitter account if you have to make one also! You'll grow to love it. I promise. (I don't actually promise).

A very special link is up. It's a download of Coaster Expedition Volume 4! You need to follow @ThemeParkReview to see it, which means you need a Twitter account. Signing up for Twitter takes about 30 seconds, and an eternity of regret.

You write a message and include @ThemeParkReview in it. I recommend not starting a tweet (I hate that word) with it, because your followers won't see it unless they're also following TweePR. For example, you want to write "Thanks to @ThemeParkReview, my childhood has been ruined" instead of "@ThemeParkReview ruined my childhood".

Did you know that Theme Park Review is on Twitter? We are, and we even came up with a clever name for it: TweePR! You can learn all about what TPR eats for dinner, every time TPR gets a haircut, and all the TV show spoilers you can hope for! Wait, no, that's every other person on Twitter. Us at TweePR do a bunch of contests that are crazy easy to win, giving away tons of bags of crap! Also, when we reach 1,000 followers (we're at over 950 now) we're giving away a free TPR DVD download, exclusively on the Twitter account! And yes, the content on TweePR is separate from Facebook. So if you want a bunch of coaster nonsense clogging up your timeline, follow @ThemeParkReview!