Not For Sale

Who's Bryan and why should I care about him?

Yes, the traditional Jewish funeral. You're familiar with it, I see.

HEY GUESS WHAT WE HAVE A NEW UPDATE AND IT ONLY TOOK A FEW YEARS THIS TIME "Good luck in Macbeth!" -Adam "YOU DARE NOT SAY THAT IN FRONT OF AN ACCOMPLISHED THEATRE ACTORE" What kind of gross person leaves a mattress on top of their car while they go to a park (or work)? I can't stop thinking about this. They know it rains a lot in Florida, right? Are they attempting to ruin their mattress? Oh, right. We go to parks in these. I don't get the reference. What does the Bryan and Adam Show have to do with American Idol? Adam takes gross pictures. I didn't crop this at all. I'm not kidding. As we were entering, we saw some street performers, and THEY SAW US TOO. You guys get it? He's the stupid one because his suspenders are on wrong! I feel bad making fun of these guys. They all commit 100%, have zero irony in what they do, and are meant to be enjoyed by children. That being said: nice looking straight down the barrel, croc-boy. Why don't you wear something that clashes more on your next visit? I'll fight you. Seriously. LOOK AT HIM, DEALING DRUGS ON PROPERTY! Listen, I had no idea how creepy it looks to have my arm around Adam like that when we took the photo. I was really trying to do a "normal" pose like "normal" people. Look at my fingers curl up on his shoulder. He might as well be my intern I'm holding him so close. This is the "holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa" of DHS. I don't get it. "We just made out." "AND THE KISSIN AND THE SMOOCHIN AND THE HATE OF MY OWN RACE" "We just made out." "A hackneyed joke based on a catchphrase from 60 years ago!" Here's the traditional acknowledgement of the existence of Sounds Dangerous photo for this update. The "Great" Movie Ride... ...Is sponsored by delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola Classic! Enjoy one today! How elegant! It looks just like a terrible Chinese restaurant! A. The Island B. Battlefield Earth C. Pootie Tang D. Birth of a Nation Fun fact: Adam has a family of squirrels living on his neck. Wait why are we doing this? I heard James Cagney once used a grapefruit as a sex toy. He never looked at breakfast the same way again. So, remember when I was being nice about the street performers? Let's just say, these people can shove it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MItMDkc343M http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PyOfsKOmlE Oh, right. Screw these guys. "Bryan, you shouldn't be so mean to the cast members" "They're trying to get by, just like the rest of us" "BUT THEY DON'T DO ACTING GOOD AND MAKE ME FEEL NICE" "He's right!" "Also I don't like the black ones" "Oops! Sorry, jew-god!" "I'M NOT REALLY DEAD, I JUST LIKE SLEEPING ON DRY ICE" "Lesson learned: don't begrudge bad actors at theme parks, don't be racist, and don't sleep on dry ice because that's totally weird" Easy way to tell that this isn't New York: Adam isn't actively trying to avoid eye contact with other people. Oh sweet release of Coca-Cola Classic, save me from this heck hole. You must be wondering, why did Bryan say heck instead of the traditional, usual way of saying it? Well, I ask you, why are you asking questions? This is a one-way form of communication! But to answer your question, our agreement with Coca-Cola forbids us from cussing in the captions of pictures depicting Coca-Cola Classic, which is delicious and refreshing. "Why don't we go ride Midway Mania? It's my favorite!" "What's that? You need to speak into my good ear, my other one keeps falling out" WHAT IS THAT KILL IT WITH FIRE "Hey, what's that?" "Oh, you mean this? It's called a topiary" "Yeah, that! Let me point at it for a few more minutes and not say anything else because I like it so much" I wonder how many companies Disney approached to sponsor rides, and how far down the list Hanes was. Hey, you know what band is really really bad? "Ha ha! I know all too well, Bryan." "Thanks, guy from The Magic School Bus" "Where's the armpit hair, Roth?!" This is the part where I peed all over the queue. If you ever thought this was clever, you don't belong in this thread. We don't want your business around here. See how much I love you guys? Oh yeah, I guess Adam loves you too. EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE EXCLUSIVE RNRC IN DISNEYLAND SOMEONE PICK UP THE RED PHONE, LANCE FROM SCREAMSCAPE IS ON THE OTHER END Then we went on The Scary Door Tower of Terror Ugh, why can't this be at a ride I don't actually like? Why do you have to make my job so hard? The scariest of all equations are theoretical ones, we all know this. You're entering an area in the vicinity adjacent to a location. The kind of location where there might be a monster, or some kind of weird mirror. These are just examples, it could also be something much better. Prepare to enter: The Scary Door So I don't really remember the plot of the ride exactly so here's what I'm pretty sure happens: these dudes go into an elevator and are about to bone... ...but, like, the elevator is stuck, so they just start boning right in the elevator... ...but then the manager opens the door... ...and he's all, I want some'a that... ...so they're gettin' into it, but, like, the dudes can't keep it up... ...and, like, one of the chicks has magic powers and like makes them go away. So then you go on and they drop you or whatever Take a minute and just soak in everything that's happening in this picture So I was loudly explaining the plot of the ride to Adam and they decided they didn't want our business anymore. What gives? So we went to where we were welcome... A value resort. And being nerds, we gravitated to the arcade immediately. And Adam being a weirdo, he gravitated to a Star Wars thing. I've heard Adam's cherry needs to be taken out as well. "Shut up." Fun fact: this is modeled after Adam and I See? So this is what it looks like when I don't realize a picture is being taken. And this is when I make the ladies go wild. So the reason we're really here is to eat, and what did we eat, you ask? Yeah, Adam actually ordered that... THIS is why we're here. The cheesecake here is awesome, it's tie-dye and has red velvet cake instead of the traditional crust. INSIDE ME, NOW Unfortunately, Adam thought he was supposed to eat the plastic, and I had to take him to the hospital. Then he died. The end. Thanks for reading! We really mean it! RIP Adam.

That place is called Ripley's.

Weird, this wasn't how I remembered it. Oh well, good thing we took pictures (I took the most pictures)

^Are you feeling ok?

^It was some sort of error. it was really about a half hour.

The premiere of The Bryan and Moishe Show Season 3 is here! Us here at the Bryan and Adam Show World Headquarters (we call it HQ for short, just a little bit of fun we have! Hey, you don't have to be crazy to work here!) would like to welcome you guys back to this wild and wacky world we wcreated We started thinking, how long has it really been since Bryan has been in Orlando? Certainly it hasn't been TOO long, right? Right? oh god the room is closing in on me You can tell Bryan doesn't know how to handle himself anymore. The easiest way to spot this is to look at the completely dead expression on his face and increased mouthbreathing. Whew. He's getting it back. Also, speaking in the 3rd person is proving to be too weird so I'm stopping that this instant. Oh right, this is Adam. He likes biodigital jazz. He also loves shitty movies. You see, spring could mean the literal object of a spring, or even the verb, as in spring to life, but what's really interesting here is that Spring is also a season. Isn't that neat? I can go on and on about this... ...So I will! Here's all 45 definitions of the word "spring" from Dictionary.com! To rise, leap, move, or act suddenly and swiftly, as by a sudden dart or thrust forward or outward, or being suddenly released from a coiled or constrained position To be released from a constrained position, as by resilient or elastic force or from the action of a spring To issue forth suddenly, as water, blood, sparks, fire, etc. (often followed by forth, out, or up ) To come into being, rise, or arise within a short time (usually followed by up ) To come into being by growth, as from a seed or germ, bulb, root, etc. To proceed or originate from a specific source or cause. To have as one's birth or lineage; be descended, as from a person, family, stock, etc. To rise or extend upward, as a spire. To take an upward course or curve from a point of support, as an arch. To come or appear suddenly, as if at a bound To start or rise from cover, as a pheasant, woodcock, or the like. To become bent or warped, as boards. To shift or work loose, as parts of a mechanism, structure, etc. To explode, as a mine. To begin to appear, as day, light, etc. To cause to spring To cause to fly back, move, or act, as by resiliency, elastic force, a spring, etc To cause to shift out of place, work loose, warp, split, or crack To split or crack To develop by or as by splitting or cracking To bend by force, or force in by bending, as a resilient slat or bar. To stretch or bend (a spring or other resilient device) beyond its elastic tolerance To bring out, disclose, produce, make, etc., suddenly To leap over. To secure the release of (someone) from confinement, as of jail, military service, or the like. To move (a vessel) into or out of a berth by pulling on the offshore end of a warp made fast to the pier. To explode (a mine). A leap, jump, or bound. A sudden movement caused by the release of something elastic. An elastic or bouncing quality Elasticity or resilience A structural defect or injury caused by a warp, crack, etc. An issue of water from the earth, taking the form, on the surface, of a small stream or standing as a pool or small lake. The place of such an issue A source or fountainhead of something An elastic contrivance or body, as a strip or wire of steel coiled spirally, that recovers its shape after being compressed, bent, or stretched. The season between winter and summer: in the Northern Hemisphere from the vernal equinox to the summer solstice; in the Southern Hemisphere from the autumnal equinox to the winter solstice. (in temperate zones) the season of the year following winter and characterized by the budding of trees, growth of plants, the onset of warmer weather, etc. The first stage and freshest period A line from the quarter of a vessel to an anchor on the bottom, used to hold the vessel at its mooring, broadside to the current. Also called springing. Architecture . a. the point at which an arch or dome rises from its support. b. the rise or the angle of the rise of an arch. The dawn, as of day, light, etc. Of, pertaining to, characteristic of, or suitable for the season of spring Resting on or containing mechanical springs. Spring for, Informal . to pay for; treat someone to. Oh look! A Pixar ball topiary! Good thing I wore my Hawaiian shirt! I thought there was supposed to be a big ol' fountain thing here! I call this "the duality of man". Nobody's used that before, right? Wait, when was Ice Station cool renamed? They better still have some delicious and refreshing Coca-Cola products. They do! This is actually Coke from the Land of Giants. If you told me a year ago I would be seeing these everywhere, I would first ask you why you're telling me this, then ask you questions about the future, like how great 5nal Destination was. How does somebody steal cotton candy? Why wouldn't they just steal the whole thing? Now I'm imagining somebody with cotton candy in their pockets. Also, I have a new fetish. What have you guys done to Communicore?! Oh neat! They still have Journey Into Imagination! I wonder how Dreamfinder is! Oh look! They added more Figment! This is gonna be great! It's only a 20 minute wait, so we decided to wait for it, of course. It's great to see people are still excited to see classic attractions! Dreamfinder forever! We're almost there! I bet this aged really well! You just gotta love the details in the queue! By the way, queue is Britainish for line. This part is so cool! The eyes in the portraits follow you no matter which direction you're looking at them from! This is Adam's impression of what it's like to drop someone else's camera. I don't know where he gets this stuff! So excited I might even... ...wet... ...myself Ohgodwhathavetheydone I'm never speaking to any of you again. Adam, jew-god help you if this gets worse. MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER MURDER "Adam, this is jew-god. I'm here to make sure Bryan doesn't murder you" I...I just need to be alone for a little bit. I think I'm going to make a site on freewebs trying to strong-arm Disney into bringing back Dreamfinder forever. Adam then took me over to show me what has happened in my absence. It was a lot to handle... But hey, this looked really cool! Adam told me he had a surprise for me, and to fill up my water bobble (hi Allison) "If this isn't good, I'm going back to jew-god and telling him you lied to me" OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG "Hey do you think this is behind a rope so you don't touch it?" "No." Gross. So Adam shared some more bad news with me... OH GOD IT'S GOING TO BE HORRIBLE Wait... What am I doing?! It's like a million times better now! Then we pretended to go into Innoventions and I liked it a lot better than Communicore. So we went on Spaceship Earth... I hope they didn't mess with my precious burning Rome scent that I never shut up about. Yeah it's a lot better now. You probably think I'm kidding. Stop being nostalgic about cheesy, bad things. You're not a child anymore. SO MUCH BETTER NOW Adam nearly jizzed his pants when he saw this And this. Hey ladies So Adam has a new fetish for taking pictures of me without me knowing. Adam, go get your rocks off somewhere else, this is a family park. So I really like this poster. If anyone wants to buy it for me I'll take dirty pictures for you. In fact, I'll take dirty pictures for anyone. Point is, I like that poster. We'll be back here later, but I won't remember I have this picture so look forward to us seeing Mickey in 20 pictures or so! A WHAT So there was no way I wasn't going to get it. I realized after first bite it's just a fancy name and shape for a jelly doughnut. By the way, doughnut has a "ugh" in it, representing the sound you should make whenever someone brings that up. I don't remember what we were going for in this picture, but it delights me to no end. I wonder what we'll choose... Yeah, you should have figured. I support gopher rights. "I had this installed so I can do shameful things without looking at anyone in the eye! Give it a whirl!" Sounds about right. (Tomorrowland Speedway) "HAY GUYS REMEMBER ME" "Stop it. You're making me look stupid" "I'M WAT?" "We had a hiatus for a reason, Adam..." So for dinner at Anthony's, of course, where Moishe, the boy genius can't have any bread because jew-god will send him to Utah (jew-hell) Man, I bet Moishe is missing bread right now. I certainly make it look so appetizing. But he got an "adorable" looking soup. (Note: read "adorable" sarcastically.) So we went to watch the Main Street Electrical Parade. I was nostalgic about it for a minute, then realized how boring it is. Enough of that garbage. So we went to go see Mickey instead! Mickey stole all of his inventions from Tesla. Discuss. Look, he's practicing luring children! He's doing great! Look at us, not making weird stupid faces, acting like normal people for once! Seriously, this was such a delight. I loved it. Until Minnie challenged me in a freestyle rap battle, which I lost. It's apparently hard to not rhyme when you're a cartoon character! Who knew?! STOP MOVING WE'RE TRYING TO GET A PICTURE OF YOU This is in honor of our best friend Bill, who couldn't be there with us... Guys, backstage. It's so cool. It's like being in back of a regular building, but it isn't one! So we went back to Haunted Mansion via the backstage route during the parade or Wishes or whatever was happening at that time. Also, this is a picture of Adam being Jewish. SO, in all sincerity: Thanks to everyone for reading this. It really means a lot to both of us that people still care about this thread and the stupid pictures we post. We're going to have a lot more very soon.

Update coming Monday. This Monday. I promise. Also we're hiring interns.

I don't want to alarm anyone, but theres' a Hooters 1.5 miles away from the hotel. Also, any chance of a group q-bot rate? Pretty please?

Just bought my flights!

Here is my review of this TR. I liked it.

I've been a snob my entire life, not just since I became a vegetarian.

Where have we gone? Ask away, but to find on your own, you'll have to go deep.

http://bedbugregistry.com/hotel/NY/New-York/La-Quinta-Inn-Manhattan

I also had pizza for dinner today. Something is clearly wrong with us.

I don't like that you guys are implying I even made a dent in that thing

Potential Erik and Smisty kill screen coming up. Hey guys, just want you to know there's a potential Erik and Smisty kill screen coming up. Hey, there's a potential Erik and Smisty kill screen coming up if you want to take a look.

The gauntlet has been thrown.

Twister at USF. Every time I go I forget about the god damn hose they aim at your back.

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It's very hard to get the ukulele to be balanced correctly on all 3 teeth of the claw that were designed to hold a ball. But god damn, I want a ukulele. Also, I went for a backpack right after they refilled it this morning and was about to get it and a giant purple ball it hooked onto, but the weight was too much.

People that are pretending to know without checking: According to The Santa Claw's facebook page (www.facebook.com/thesantaclaw?v=wall) the colored balls count. You'll be sent the ball. Stop being a fake expert.