Jeezus Juice

Nah, you're only a REAL tool when you know that those are not original train bodies but fiberglass replacement mods done in the 70's. You're only an uber tool when you know that the other park in fresno has the same coaster but with the awesome original steel trains that ride so much better. And you're only a Don level tool when you've actually ridden both...more than once! -Don at least I wasn't alone...anyone seen my knife?

The Snail is totally a credit. Does it leave a slimy trail all over your lap, or is that only when *insert Lou joke here*! Must...get back...UK...Dan...woman...arggg...

Alright guys, the rest of the update is going to have to wait until next weekend. We're off to the Pacific Northwest for a week of fireworks and Silverwood. Yay Tremors!! So in the mean time here's a picture of me at Bakken, enjoy!! -Don OMG! Bier fest!!

Dude, that cannot be a real language. Someone just made all that up right? Like that new Enya album... I've been telling people about the 'people powered coaster' and they always give me such weird looks. Cheers for going out there and bringing back the evidence. Also, thanks for representing the themepark thug on the uterus slide. Homies gotta keep it reawl! -Don

Man Fort Fun was awesome! Probably one of the best parks on the whole trip. The whole park is way up in the mountains, right near a ski area. The park really uses the terrain to their advantage, almost like how Silver Dollar City has the park enterance at the top and the park flows down hill. The park itself has a custom rollerskater up near the top and a Vekoma Whirlwind and a Tivoli at the bottom. There are numerous paths that connect with the lower level as well as a monorail that will take you down or back up if you don't feel like hiking. Then across the street and up a hill is there mountain adventure area with a Weigand Alpine Coaster (with cable lift!) and a skyway to the top of the mountain. Up on top they have a pretty huge observation tower that shows the whole valley. The park is pretty sweet, I can't wait to go back. They have a deal with nearby Panorama Park where you can get a 2-park/2-day combo ticket that I'm definately getting next time. Pancho Cactus says to, "Comeback and si me again ese'. I'll introduce you to my seester." It was good times at Fort Fun. Pretty much completely opposite from Movie Park! Mine just made me conjour demons. You get to wear these snazzy jumpsuits that have a small mounting in the back that you hang from. Then you come back in faster than gravity on a giant zip line. Basically they stap you into this thing and haul you about a kilometer out over the park and up the hill. Back in the park we noticed one more ride we had to do before we left. Close up of one of the random villages. From the other side of the tower. You can see all kinds of tiny little villages. 500 years ago there'd be little castles shooting cannonballs at each other, kinda like that game Rampart. Remember that? Meanwhile, on top of the mountain, our hero observes an overview of the park. This guy's thinking, "Oh mother of God I'm going to fly right off my plastic lunch tray!" These turns are taken super fast. George Lucas needs to open up a park full of these and let you shoot Ewoks with lasers. How exactly are Ninja and Boulderdash the best terrain coasters again? I really really really like these rides. Whoo...about 5 minutes later you finally reach the top. The cable lift hill is really long. It actually makes it a full circuit rolling coaster. Let the debate Begin! If there's anything I love more than trampolines it's Weigand Alpine Coasters...and Mike...Hi Mike. The Monorail was actually a really good way to get around. It takes you around most of the park too. Happy little monorail. Hello Donkeys! Don't get hit by the flying Arrow train! Hmm...Tuna pizza...How adventureous do I feel today? Poison Ivy's Twisted Train is way better in a forest! The screw coaster actually had Donkey's underneath it. Then we took the monorail down for the parks other 2 coasters. It even had some decent air filled drops! Devils Mine is a really good custom rollerskater. The queue is actually a very long haunted mine type walkthrough. Here is a picture of the mouse at Movie Park instead. Sorry I'm lame at this. The park has a very unsubtle 'America' theme.

^ The german autobahns were fantastic! Once you see the speed limit sign with the line through it it's wide open! I thin I got our little opel up to around 105-110 mph before it started to shimmy a bit too much. The speedometer even went up to 200kph! It seems driving fast is just the norm in Germany though. Even in speed controlled areas the beemers were still screaming by. Once back in the Netherlands though traffic slowed down considerably. Hope you had a good time in Prater! I love that park. -Don more photos up soon! Teaser pic!

Yeah, what is Six Flags thinking!!! That would be like SO DISRESPECTFUL to NITRO!!!1! It would ruin my life and my dreams!

Well, what can I say about Movie Park Germany... Honestly I didn't care for it that much. I may be a little biased however. Frankly the whole 'Movie Studio' theme is really one of my least favorites. Usually it just means walking around a generic city street with a lot of beige boxy looking buildings scattered around. The other thing aginst this park is that the coasters are all pretty meh. The mouse was pretty standard, the SLC was an SLC (with one train operations), the woodie wasn't great (also one train), and Cop Car Chase was such a lame ride. Like, really really lame. I did like the dark rides however. Both the POTC style Ice Age ride and the former Neverending Story raft ride were pretty fun. The Intamin drop ride was good, it even had the tilt seats working. I'm trying to think about what else we did...oh yeah, they had a Jurassic Park style reversing boat flume themed around the bremuda triangle, nucular missles, and alien robots called 'Alien Encounter'. That was kinda cool. What was really not cool was the typical theme park scourge all throughout this park. Single train operations, line jumping/chain smoking teenagers, horrible queue management, ect... Honestly the whole time we were there I just wanted to go back to Klotten. Sorry Soren, I tried to like your homepark! But seriously, what is up with Cop Car Chase?! Everything had like 3 inches of dust, rust, and grime on it. The whole ride just takes you in and out of the same dirty warehouse, inside of which are two random 1974 buicks for no apperent reason, themeing I suspect. The ride itself wasn't too bad, two lifts-vertical loop-inline towards the end, but the whole package was just so lame. Just thinking about it is making me angry...I think I'll take some nyquil or something... Yes Monica, we know it's your favorite park but we have to leave...NOW! Hmmm...mysterious Volcano...interesting... Hmm...at least there's no Stitch! Not a terrible ride...just dissapointing. Nope, no Lethal Weapon here! All we have is Cop Car Chase, and it's only two days from retirement! Zoom zoom zoom! Good drop ride, even though it was a bit rough on the man parts. See! Gritty... The park did have some quality flats, complete with gritty urban reality. Diego says, "If you count this I'm eating the marmot" The Ice Age water coaster. It's totally a credit! Behold the Fruhstucks Drink. The most powerful brakfast elixar known to man. It's awesomeness knows no bounds. I heard that rain messes with the kiddie coaster so we hit that first. For some reason I had this confused with the one in Austraila. Isn't that one all indoors? Hey look! A park with a fountain! They sure don't have these everywhere in Europe... Hey look! A city street! Wow... OK, let's try to make this quick.

^Whoa! Dueling boat jumps with a head chopper?! I'm so there. ^^^^^^ It's just the angle. One of them sits a little higher than the other. I love the sound these things make when they hit the water. It's kind of a drawn out "Dooouchhh" sound. The only thing that would make these better would be a ring of fire at the bottom. -Don

Schloß Beck Freizeitpark!!! Otherwise known as 'that small park next door to Movie Park Germany'. Let me just say that this park is way better than the one next door. Let's see: TWO boat jumps, TWO cable rides (over water no less), random tower rides right in the middle of pathways AND and hugh walkthrough chateau with trampolines in front. Oh, and they have a coaster! This place was just fun. Lots of little rides, no lines, just a real good time. The 'park' is basically a ride area and playground built around an old Mansion (Schloß). But for whatever reason it was just awesome. I spent most of my time running from ride to ride, except for the 20 minutes or so that Monica kept me hostage on the boat jump! Here's some pictures... Here's a shot of the backyard of the Schloß. Awesome. Yeah hi, I'm a pathway with a tower ride sticking up out of me with no fence or other means of supervision. Come ride me if you want, whatever. The Luna Loop. Push a button-go upside down. Make sure you fasten your restraint because if you fall out it's your ass. Plus some German lady will laugh at you. Yay for slides. That is all. Runner up for best ride of all time. I had my own ERT on this for a while. This is the single greatest ride on the planet. Voyage, Balder, SROS...they can't TOUCH the boat jump! Dude! You almost ran your boat aground! Way to go! Launch!! Go for distance Mon!! Look what it did to Monica! LOL! You DO NOT want to get that stuff on you! This boat jump was fresh because of the authentic malaria lake used for the splashdown. Straight from RCT, here's the ladybug coaster. Here's the park entrance, replete with the "Schloss"

Allright, next up we got Centr-O Park. Basically Centr-O refers to a whole entertainment area, of which the amusment park is just a small part of. There's a huge arena, a sea life park, a huge mall (with a McDonalds), theaters, preformance art center, ect. The park was totally dead when we got there. We rode the spinning coaster, train ride, the very odd tractor themed antique car ride, played on some trampolines and we're pretty much done. It's a very small park but it was landscaped nicely. Plus they had trampolines...I mean come on! Yay for bouncing! OK, the park isn't that great. At least it was cheap. Go hang out at the McDonalds Collosseum if you get bored. Umm...here's an overview of the rest of the park...if you can tear yourself away from this awesome coaster. Maybe the themeing wasn't as good as I remember... There was a wooden beaver for monica to ride. Moving right along, it's a tractor ride...you ride it. Oh wait...maybe not... I thought Louise was in the UK...? No Monica, this is better than Europa! You've had a tetanus booster recently right? "Yay, I'm so happy to be here. Can we go back to Europa now?" Man, we're really racking up the obscure parks credits.

So I went to Baden Baden, for no other reason than it's name is the same thing twice. I mean, what is that about? I don't say I'm from Lakewood Lakewood. Eh, whatever... Here's some pictures of me being a jerk in some high class german resort town... Kaiser Wilhelm says "Get the hell out of my resort community deadbeat!!" At least the slide was free. BTW, that silver orb was like 1000 degrees. Would someone please get this kid out my play equipment! Man this town has huge balls Two dudes with a camera, you just got fingered!! Time to unleash the 'finger of destiny' Oh this looks good... I just about lost it at this point. Mind if I pose with your dog? What'r you guys eatin'? Man, Lindsey Lohan has really let herself go. Dude! No freeking way! This sign is way too easy...moving on... This is totally the kind of place I can get in trouble in. Move ova' double B, Don Dastardly's about to roll through..

Wild und Freizeitzen-park Klotten! Man I'm glad I picked up that themepark guide at Holiday Park. It was very reassuring to have a map with me while trying to find this park. We actually found it pretty easily, it's just WAY out there. What we found was a really awesome, smallish anaimal park with some of the most amazing rides I've ever seen. They only have one coaster but it kicks so much ass, way better than any B&M. Plus this is one of those parks with the "self-operated" rides! I love the European Parks so much! Thanks you Klotti, your park is the bomb. Now go get some munchies! OH GOD!! Make it STOP!! The coaster was really good, but we need more self operated stuff! Entering smooth fast with a look at the awesome bunnies at the end. Derek can keep his vertical loops. Give me more 'smooothh faaaasst...!!!' The whole ride is just smooth and fast. There's just no words to explain an ending like this. Man, I must have spent a solid hour sliding down stuff until the coaster opened. I love this park! There you go! Enjoy! Monica, are you ready for your flying plastic boat ride?! Soon you are off the bump at the bottom for some true 'air time'. It's actually slightly high. Not a good feeling when you're most likely over the recomended weight limit. Strap your self in and pull the rope to start! Yes! It's the boat jump! It's only a little bit high off the ground. Poor Monica had me as a ride-op! Oh man! It's the self-operated cable zip line! The Park's mascot is a stoned looking blood-clot. Are you ready for some Eingang?!

Don't worry man, I got more. I was spending all last week with my boy Johnny Depp at Disneyland so I had to put the update train on pause BUT I'm back now and aiming to wrap this up soon! The parks start getting pretty wild from this point on so stay tuned! -Don

Allright guys, here's the big one: Europa Park! This place was just amazing. They had the perfect balance of coasters, dark rides, shows, fire, food and themeing. It was the first park that I've been to that actually offers the same type level of entertainment as Disneyland. Euro Mir became a new matterhorn. Posidon was my splash mountain. Everything was just great, I'll let the pics speak for themselves. Thanks for all the comments guys! And thank you Joe for the lovely letter, it's hanging on my refridgerator.. Goodbye Euromaus! We'll miss your awesome park! There's even a chunk of the Berlin wall here for you to get sticky handprints all over. I got my whole "standing in two opposing ethos at the same time" credit too! Signiture shot! This is a very weird friggen ride. It's like 7 minutes long!! This is exactly what it looks like, and it was awesome. Here's the italian section from the air, complete with both pizza and a very haunted mansion-esque dark ride. Hitchhiking ghosts and stretch room included! An overview of Eurosat and Silver Star. This year the Eurosat ball was themed like a giant football for the world cup. A look at the very twisted bobsled. Easily one of the most beautiful parks I've been too. Why BGE keeps getting voted best is beyond me. For as huge as this park is the atmosphere is very relaxed. There's no fun police running around ruining everything. Can you imagine what would happen if you put your feet in the sub lagoon at Disneyland?? We're begining to get the hang of these Donkey Chocolate vendors. This is just all around a great ride. Plus look! Fire!! Easily my favorite water coaster. Look at the bunny hill after the drop! Posidon does just what this type of ride should do. Fun coaster section-drop-float for a while-wilder coaster section-wilder drop-float to the station. You enter Posidon through the wooden Donkey ass. Did they know we were coming? Atlantic Super Splash (ASS) was themed really well. Even though it's basically a shoot-the-chutes we enjoyed re-riding it. Plus you didn't get totally soaked...and it's TOTALLY a coaster!! Europa Park is kind of what Epcot should be like. Each of the countries represented here actually have rides. Imagine that Disney...rides in a themepark. I mean, it's cool to buy a pretzle from Soren and everything, but I'd rather ride him around the pavi Back over by sista they had these weird skateboards-on-sticks-that-kinda-swivel. Try as I could I coundn't get it to kickflip. It had a nice rollerskaterish layout. It was actually a lot bigger than I had though. New this year was Pegasus, Mack's new family coaster. SiSta, Sponsored by Mercedes Benz! Silver Star was great. None of that twisty Raging Bull stuff, just awesome out and back goodness. Finally, the park that the whole trip was based around.

Tripsdrill was another fun medium sized park that we enjoyed. It's located in a wine region of germany and carries that agricultural theme over to the rides and attractions. Trips is also home to G'sente Sau, one of those awesome Guerstlaurer bobsled coasters with the crazy airtime hills and the death spiral helices. The park kind of reminded me of what I would expect Bonfante Gardens to be like in 10-15 years if they really build it out. The park also has a log flume themed to the fountain of youth where you ride in bathtubs and watch as nude old women manniquins gradually turn into hot nude young chick manniquins. Way to go guys! Two thumbs up! One last look at a really awesome ride. Good thing there was two more on the trip to look forward to! Just as well, I think this translates to "Manure Sack" I couldn't kidnap a kid to ride this mini log-flume. Too bad because it looked really fun. This is what I like about European parks. If you want to ride around on messed up bikes and hurt yourself, go right ahead. Band-aids are sold in the guns and porn shop. Also new this year was a maypole themed cable tower ride. Good fun as well. I think this book contains the whereabouts of Hitler's frozen head. ...porn on one side and world war II weapons on the other. The gift shop was kinda weird... OK, some masochist must have invented this. Undulating downhill rollers are a very easy way to break your ass...hard. This was very funny to watch for a while. It's kinda like getting really drunk and roller skating down stairs. Priceless. Tripsdrill also got one of these "Crow Trees" type tower rides. You go up and down a few times then the ride car 'breaks' and tips forward while you fall. Good fun. I also had fun interacting with the goats. Why can't all parks have goats!?! All sorts of rides are built right over and interacting with each other. The park also had a nicely landscaped Tivoli. Actually the whole park was landscaped very well. Please don't poop in our Tub Flume! I love the Tub Flume! Tub Flume! Both the coaster and tub flume share the same Alsaceian building. Dear parks, Please stop buying crappy looping coasters and wild mice. Please give the guys at Gurstlaurer a call and buy some of these. Thanks. Time for some G'Sente Sau action! We're here!

So we finally got to go to Holiday Park and we had a really good time. You know when you're at a midsized family park and you start to wonder, "What would this place be like with an Intamin hyper?" Well, that's Holiday Park! They have one of each of the amusement park standards; flume, raft, dark ride with boobies, corkscrew coaster, ect...and then they have GeForce! Expedition GeForce was probably the most hyped up coaster on the whole trip. Luckily it didn't dissapoint. Basically it was like S:ROS without the dull helices and with a wicked first drop. It runs more or less at tree level too so the onride views are really good. If only Millenium Force could have been more like ExGF... The rest of the park was pretty good. No trampolines but they did have a good selection of off beat rides as well as a pretty good 2nd gen intamin drop. Yay! Donkey vomit. The best part? How about a coin operated Donkey that spits chocolate coins out of it's mouth?! I'm so getting one of these for home. Yes, that is a mini soccer goal and ball in a urinal. Yes I scored many goals without useing my hands. Especially when the go through tents with crazy animatronic hoses inside. Yay! Garden monorails are fun! Monica reliving her college job. You don't have to pop naked out of cakes for old japanese men anymore sweetie. Super Gerbil wasn't bad actually. It also had a longish layout before it hit the brakes. I actually re-rode it. Expedition GeForce kitty. This cat doesen't care how long RiRod rode for. For around $50 you could purchase a piece of the cable that Richard Rodriguez used to flaggellate himself. Even trimmed this ride still kicks ass! Signiture shot!! That twist is wicked in the back. Aww! That's what we want! Allright you green bird, which way to GeForce!? The log flume had an odd Satan theme. He kept popping up in signs in the Queue. Satan says "no standing." Satan say "wear a pancho."

Oh man! Phatasialand was so much fun! We paid a little extra to stay on-site and it was so worth it! Tha PhantAISA hotel is immaculately themed and the room we got had a full sized bed as well as chinese junk themed bunk beds! Other than hitting my knee on the rudder in the middle of the night the room was perfect. The hotel is literally part of the park. They even keep the chinese area of the park open for hotel guests all night. A few hours after the park closed we were able to just wander around barefooted in the area between the ghost train and the raft ride. The rides are closed of course but it was just nice to hang out in a park at night and just look at the lights. OK, I'm a park geek...anyway, The park itself was really cool. Black Mamba is really good. Winjas is incredable and Temple of the Night Hawk, the park's indoor coaster, is really, really long. There are a great amount of dark rides, boats, monorails, and atmosphere attractions scattered around. It almost reminded me of Blackpool in a way as every space is put to good use. Monica and Sexual Harassment Panda say Good-Bye! They even leave snacks out for you everywhere! Our hotel was awesome! I was hoping he'd battle the rock guy but it didn't happen. And then this guy walked out! Then out of nowhere this space egg fell from the sky! There's even a Peter Pan esque indoor/outdoor dark ride There are so many rides here. Some of the european cosmetics here are a bit odd. Still, she looks do-able. Mystery Phallus, on the other hand, is an indoor drop tower. You ride in bat boats! River Quest. It starts with a verticle lift, it has three levels, and... At home this would've said goldenpalace.com This ride is gaping statue approved! Whoosh!! Oh yeah. Let's do this thing... Oh yes, my other passion...boobs! Now this is a mine train! First things first, I must ride Michael Jackson!

So, Walibi Belgium... You know, we went to 3 of the StarParks on this trip, Walibi Belgium, Walibi World, and Movie Park Germany and none of them really measured up against the other parks fun wise. Almost like going to WDW and Knoebels and then spending a day at SFA. The parks were clean and we did have fun, but they just seemed to be missing something... That being said Walibi Belgium did have some good rides. The Curse of Tutankahman dark ride is suprisingly good and it's trackless to boot. Turbine, the inclosed Schwarzy shuttle loop, was really good. Intense and disorienting at the same time. The BTMRR style mine train was pretty bad. I've never ridden a mine train with so many square wheels. It was honestly not good. The Vekoma Woodie had a really good layout but something about the train design made the little pops of air and laterals a bit too painful to really enjoy. The SLC and Boomerang at least didn't have any lines! Maybe the Flemish are smarter than most? Anyway, we did the park fairly quickly, had a sandwich, whatched the Dopplmyer guys mess around with the mountain flyer for a bit and moved on. The park as a whole wasn't really bad but just painfully average. It felt like the coutesy visit you pay to SFKK whever you're driving by on the way to a better park. What made it weird was that it was actually one of the most expensive parks admission wise...go figure... Toverland, Fort Fun, Knoebels. These places make since for a ride like this. But a major coaster park full of bratty, line-jumping, chain-smoking kids?! They were testing the lift while we were there. For the life of me though I have no idea why a park like this would get such a low capacity ride. Every garden shed should have a Shuttle Loop inside. These things are great!! "I vant to suck your Fanta orange, blah! blah!" Ah yes, saving the best for last. Good thing the trains are well padded though. The lap bar could use some foam rubber love though. The Layout is actually pretty decent. Allright, lets see just how good/bad Vekoma woodies are... I know someone can post this picture with a better caption. Have at it! Way to lift with your legs Mon! Here's a Jumbo burger! At least Walibi is here to show you where to put your Jumbo burger once you're done! Dude, *Random ACE joke* Can I have EXTRA gravy please!? Thunder Mountain light was pretty underwhelming. I'm sure I'm spoiled but I know they at least had round wheels in the 1800's. "You must defeat me to enter my bonus round!" "Aim for my bright green glowys" A look at the trackless ride system. there seemed to be a bonus room near the end of the ride if you scored enough points. Poor guy's face is melting off in the heat. Someone give him some sunscreen! We tried to pass of there candy ghost as children to ride the kiddie coaster but the lady running it said "No Dice"...only in french. At least there was no wait! The whole park is situated around this big lake. It's nice but it doesn't really add much, it's just kind of 'there'. Welcome to Walibi! Won't you join us?!

Hey guys! Glad you like the PTR so far. With everyone getting back at the same time I have a lot of competition. I'll try to make this one special! I just got the internet back at work so I'll try and post a bunch more pics incase it goes out again. Here are some from an afternoon we spent in Brussles. There's going to be one of a few "Rick Steves" style updates. Partially because it's gives a good context to the 'feel' of being in Europe, and partially becaus you can't swing a dead Saxon without hitting some 12th century buildings! Basically we rolled into town and parked, and then proceded to wander about for a while looking for opportunities to goof off in some historically signifigant area. Mission accomplished. You know...you're never really far from cheap cheeseburgers anywhere you go... I think it's really man's first attempt at a Legoland. On the way back to the car we find this odd-ball "random-ruins-under-the-street" museum thing. I am simultaniously intrigued and curious...but I resist the urge to try the water. OMFG! It is EXACTLY what it sounds like! Now what could that possibly be...? Certainly not what it sounds like right..? Crap! She found me...better not try anything... There's gotta be some way for me to get in trouble here... Wow, I think we found more OSHI buildings. Sometimes it's best to follow the american tourist's around, since they buy maps and all. Here is no doubt some Object of Significant Historical Importance (OSHI). Remimds me of something I saw in Hill Valley circa 1955. So this is what greets us upon emerging from the smelly car park, lovely...

Dude, we totally did Toverland!! That park rules! It was kinda hard to know what to expect from this park. As far as indoor parks in the states go they pretty much suck. Imagine our suprise to find a Costco/Super WalMart sized indoor/outdoor park in the middle of some cow pastures that actually kicked ass! Fist off the two coasters are really good. The booster bike is very re-ridable, comfortable, and a ton of fun! The indoor vekoma "boomerang" is really good as well. The lift takes you to within feet of the celing and then just whips all over the place around and through other structures. Second is the massive about of 'support' rides that are here. Anyone who knows me knows that I'll take some cargo nets, trampolines, ziplines, whatever over a generic B&M any day. This place had more "fun Don crap" per square foot than anywhere else I've ever been, including a full-on ropes course out back. Add in the bobkart, interactive water stuff, a reversing log flume, and the fact that all of the kids left at 4pm and you wind up with a great time! It kills me to think about all of the indoor waterpark hotels that we have in the US all cannabilizing each other and not one of them have thought of adding rides. You could easily add an indoor waterpark and hotel on to Toverland and drop it anywhere in the states and have a goldmine buisness. Anyway... And they even have a zipline too! Magic Mountain can burn into a molten crater for all I care. I'm totally coming back here next year! Yes, you stay locked in the cage, I'm going to hit the tramp for a while. BOOOOOSTER BIKE...Soon there'll be a massive wooden coaster blocking the view here. This place is pack floor to celing with crap to explore, mean while Tom Sawyers island is being covered in foam rubber and bubble wrap...darwin surrenders. Bobkarting. It totally counts as a coaster. Another picture of me being awesome. The netting pretty much saved me from certain death a few times. Sorry girls (and Barry) I'm taken. Yeah, made it in one step, you know. Last time I did this it was for free cable. Go Mon. Just like we practiced in the bath tub at home. I love crap like this, and it's everywhere! Look! Happy riders! On a Vekoma!! Launch me baby! My head is scraping the celing on the best Vekoma Boomerang ever!!! This thing goes all over the place. Hey, wait a minute...this looks good! First up, the Vekoma Boomerang... Dude, I'll trade the two Costco's and half a WalMart for one of these in my town.

^ Allright but no contact. I don't want to get pregnant... ...oh you meant...nevermind. DFC > Tatsu

Bobbejaanland was a pretty fun medium sized park just packed with rides. most of you probably know it as the park with the El Paso Special/shoot mexicans, women, and civil war soildiers while riding on a bench ride. Well, EPS did not dissapoint! Why can't all shooting dark rides be this much fun. Screw the score, just give me a gun and let me shoot people! They rethemed their vekoma swinging jet coaster into a native american-floorless-dreamcatcher strewen ride. We rode everthing in the park except one side of speedy bob and the Vekoma Illusion (both were closed) but everything else kinda paled next to Immigration: The Ride! Before we left we all spun the wheel of gum. We didn't win anything though...darn! ZOOM!! Luckily I didn't sink it. Lets take a walk on the bridge made of ice chest lids! Die bank teller!! Oh yes, this will do. "This Helix makes me want to shoot something!" The powered coaster had some pretty strong helixes. Yep! And she's looking a little better now too! I wonder if Lou is in there? WARNING: Psychotic clown coaster coming through! Oki Doki had a pretty sweet layout for a roller skater. Lots of low to the ground swooping turns, even if I can't say the name in public. After this credit I need a picture with that walkaround character... Either that or he got it from this guy. The walkaround characters at this park are very authentic! Pumpkin pot here must've gotten into some of the stuff from Eftling yesterday. Kachina Kuwanda watches over you and offers 2 for 1 comps at the buffet for all $5 minimum table games. Dreamcatcher is sporting the awesome new floorless vekoma trains. Big Bad Wolf needs these like now! This one's for Wally! Hope you had fun working overtime! This was called the "Horse-pedalo" or something. Apperently they just make up their own spanish words here! The 95 degree drop coaster was actually pretty good. Not nearly as painful as it looked like it would be. Apperently Indiana was settled by the aztecs and is full of crocodies, 5 foot spiders, and 3 square miles of cargonetting...in that order. Oh Sweet! It's the mariachi band that kept me awake at 4 in the morning at my old apartment...DIE!! then the guy with the pots on his head... Ok...I think I'll start with the woman... Oh hell yes! Yay! We're here! Can I shoot people yet?

Ahh Eftling...I don't think there is another park that I've been to that I've herad so many differing opinions on. It seems people either REALLY love it or think it's kinda meh... I suppose if you look at the park from a strictly coaster standpoint it's not that impressive: a vekoma loopscrew, an 'ok' woodie, a bobsled, and a pretty good indoor coaster. If you look at the park as a whole with it's immaculate gardens, scores of walkthroughs, dark rides, and playground equipment that can sever limbs you can really begin to appreciate the park. We were there all day just wandering around and re-rideing stuff and we really enjoyed ourselves. This is what the 60's must have been like. Man, when the pigeons turn colors it's time to get out the woods. Bobbejaanland is next! Here's the chocolate coin ass shooting donkey. How can people not like this park?! They we went from the arab bong to the muchroom forest. Things got pretty crazy after that. Not as much as this guy though! Puff puff pass dude! You're getting strung out... Monica hit the bong a bit too much. I filled my Eftling bong with water from the "Arabs of the Carribean" ride before we left. The bobsled was a fairly lenghty Intamin. It's layout is mostly through the trees. "Sorry folks, ride's closed. The Lion out front should've told ya." Unless the inside is really good I don't think we missed much. This is the turn around and brake run just after the drop. So Villegende Hollander wasn't open, but at least they had the area open to walk around. The whole building is themed very nicely...at least the outside anyway. The woodie was pretty tame but fun. Definately way better than about 40 or so other woodies I've ridden. I'm looking at you california! >:/ Oh BTW, the small world/canaval dark ride is totally P.C. No overblown stereotypes here! Dude! I've wanted to ride this forever and it's actually really good! Go Vogel Rok! Evil or not, at least he got my letter! Evil Santa will send you into the tree of death if you even think about being naughty! If you stand in the middle this christmas tree will slice your legs off! I'm totally under the pointy hut, let me in! You enter through the pointy building.

You know, the flight back yesterday really wasn't bad. And it was cool to go to a restauraunt with free soft drink refills and all the ice I wanted! But what do you care about that? You're here for pictures. Before I get to that though here are some stats: We did 26 parks in 17 days, 8 countries, 5500 kilometers, 3 ferrys, 95 coasters, and about 100 trampolines!! We started out at the Amsterdam Dungeon, a stand-alone haunted walkthrough attraction located in Amsterdams dam square. Since we arrived on 6/6/06 they were running a special. Only 6,66 euro instead of the normal 18,50. The whole attraction took just over an hour and consisted of several themed rooms that played out various themes centered loosely around Amsterdams sorted past. The tour culminates with a ride on a new Mack model "E-Motion" coaster, basically a compact mad mouse type ride with a verticle lift, turntables, and a springy suspension. After that we toured the red light district, got some pizza, used a very open public urinal and got out of town as we were quite tired. Small quiet road. We're off to Eftling next! The town is actual quite lovely. I wouldn't mind biking around next time I come through. Definately not as complex as Venice. They are pretty strict on photo taking in this area but I got one of this sign which is pretty common for the area. Would've got more but the bouncers are pretty big! You can't tell from this photo but down that alley is nothing but sex, sex, sex! Here's a shot of the Dam Square activity. Aside from a few heroin hippies bumming for change it was hassle free. We'll be back in 100 years when they offer this price again. The B&M hyper should be done by then. The entrance is built into some period buildings. The coaster is actually inside a church right next door! Our first stop.