Electerik

Actually, as much as I liked the ice cream at the Mayfield Factory, Toft's in beautiful Sandusky, Ohio remains both my favorite ice cream and my favorite ice cream shop. (It's also one of those ice cream parlor right at the factory kind of deals.) Many a gap in a CP split-shift was spent there, let me tell you. Here's a link to an article about Toft's from a local newspaper: http://www.toledoblade.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070521/BUSINESS03/705210333/-1/BUSINESS

Spraying to all fields.... Yes, the very one, as I understand it. I enjoyed it, but I think I prefer the sideways seating of a Falling Star. Yeah, that's just it. I found it really boring. It takes, like, 15 swings to get up to full speed, and then it starts winding down almost immediately. Yeah, I agree. I really like downtown areas that are bisected by rivers. Chattanooga actually just elbowed its way onto my short list of cities I might want to live in one day. Yeah, kind of the same deal with me--including Lake Winnie. I'd driven by, like, 8 million times--but never at the right time, or when I had time. I finally just had to make a special trip of it. I'm glad I finally did. Erik "I need a new sig" Elness

Part III: We All Scream For Ice Cream So, I'm only slightly ashamed to say that I like ice cream almost as much as I like roller coasters. So while all-that-you've-been-told-about-so-far was going on, there was another, secret trip happening in the background at the same time: The Ice Cream Tour. Parlors at factories generally have the best ice cream. Plus, they usually have every flavor currently being made, and sell it cheap: $2.50 for 2 scoops here. The highlight of the tour! Driving home, I hit the Mayfield factory tour in Athens, TN. The tour was just okay, but it was free. And, the ice cream was excellent and plentiful. It was good, but not as good as I'd hoped. It was fairly rich, but the "chunks of stuff" were too finely chopped for my tastes. After failing to find this badly-named, but well-regarded local ice creamery the night before and ending up at a Ben & Jerry's instead...at last, success. Rock City had a Dippin Dots stand. But, sadly, it was not open when I was there (of course, it was only 9:15am). Lake Winnie's awesome ice cream stand, made to look like a paddle wheeler. Mayfield can do not wrong on this trip!

Part II: Guerrilla Tourism Though there will be a carousel and a kiddie coaster towards the end of this report, day two was earmarked for all the non-amusement park touristy stuff in Chattanooga. Such as.... ...but that's okay. I wasn't there for the lame-o credit. I was there for old-school mini-golf, and it was really good! And, finally, I ended the day with a trip to Sir Goony's Fun Center. The kiddie coaster apparently only runs on weekends at the moment.... Why, it's that carousel I promised! A really cool park along the river. And what's in the blue building? (As if you sharp observers didn't know already....) Chattanooga claims that this old train tressel is now the world's longest pedestrian bridge. It might very well be. I walked it twice. Two turtles dancing on a bag in front of the WTF Museum. Walking around Chattanooga. Their version of shoe-prints in the concrete. I like it. And this is just...wow. Typical aquarium stuff. They're always too short and not very exciting. Not that I have any ideas.... Be a SeaWorld instead? Or this friendly little guy. Still, it had its amusements. Such as these baby human-fish. Next up was the Tennessee Aquarium. Not bad, but I guess I'm really just not an aquarium kind of guy. Kind of ho-hum. Time has past it by, as evidenced by the fact that there are now tract houses higher up the mountain. The Inclined Railway. The third and final of the Lookout Mountain attractions. The Tennessee River, as seen from the top of the observation tower (see first Ruby Falls picture). The waterfall is hard to photograph, especially with their random, multi-colored lighting. See Rock City, skip Ruby Falls. Everybody touch the slimy phallic rock. Ruby Falls was a guided tour. It took about an hour-and-a-quarter, as well. But I probably could have done it in about 20 minutes. Fairyland Caverns makes up much of the return leg of the trip back down the mountain. Not scary at all. I'm sure it's fine. There's a pan for gold type thing, plus a big plastic climbing wall (not pictured because it's lame). Lovers Leap Swing-A-Long Bridge Stone Bridge Choose Thy Fate I'd like to take a moment to point out some interesting rock formations. - There's one. But, then, I'm a walker. This place could kill somebody that's not. And it's definitely not wheelchair-friendly. It's self-guided. I did the whole thing in about an hour-and-a-quarter. It's basically a walking path, with lots of stairs and gardens. So, Rock City turned out to be awesome.

Part I: Lake Winnie Greetings from beautiful Chattanooga, Tennessee. Got up at 8:15 yesterday morning (I didn't even know there was an 8:15am), drove the two-and-a-half hours from Pigeon Forge, Tennessee to Rossville, Georgia (just over the border from Chattanooga), got to Lake Winnepesaukah (turns out it's pronounced Winnepes-oh-kah) at opening (noon) and was sunbaked and wore-out well before the 8:00pm closing time. I had a great time, though. The park is really nice, for what it is (and what it is is an old-school, traditional amusement park of the "permanent carnival" variety). The employees were better than I expected. Not particularly "professional," but by-and-large very nice (which is more important to me, ultimately). And the park had a really good ride selection, a nice layout, some funky-unique stuff (always a plus), and a laid back, totally non-corporate attitude. One thing that I thought was just a tad un-guest-friendly, though (in a really funny way): There's exactly one enclosed, air-conditioned place to eat. It's right beside the park's most central restaurant, and chock full of windows so you can see right in--at all the employees (only) eating! Enjoy your picnic bench in the sun though, folks. Let us know if you need anything else. Also, the lake is kind of, well, green. Still, it's a pretty swell park. Don't forget to properly dispose of your trash by stuffing it down a clowns throat. Y'all come back now! Nine dollars even. What's for lunch? This is the greatest picnic shelter ever. I wanna have my 40th birthday party there...in about 20 years. The Pirate had kind of a lame program, but it sure looks nice. Racing down the drop towards the green-water-splash and the free-float. Finally emerging into daylight, you climb the lift that goes over the founder's back yard. Do you feel the funkiness yet? ...and there you stay for a long, long time. (Note: this is only what it looks like with your camera's flash on.) From the station, you go right into a dark tunnel.... Apparently, the Boat Chute was the park's first ride. Built in-house, and it shows. The Alpine Way heading over the water and toward where you should be able to get off, but can't. I love chair lifts. Oddly, though, this one only has one station, despite the non-station end being in a natural place for one. Still, +1. So, as I enter the wave swinger, I say to this op, "Hi, how are ya?" And he looks at me for a second and says, "Y'all spread out some." The second time was worse. Not riding this one again sad-and-pathetic-style. So, despite the trims being on, Wild Lightning was almost too wild to ride by my lonesome. There was a sign posted at the front gate saying that this would not be operating today. *shrugs* As you can see by the Paratrooper, the park wasn't particularly busy today (although, it was busier than that). Cannon Ball is fun--but, really, you've ridden it a hundred times. As you can see, you can get pretty close to Cannon Ball from the back parking lot. This picture would be Super Marion Cobretti Cool if I'd managed to get the turnaround in the frame, too. Man, I wish I'd trimmed that eyebrow hair before I took this picture. Their drop tower had a brutal stop at the bottom. In fact, I think it pretty much just stops by hitting the ground at the end. Denied! According to the Orbiter op, "It tore its drive shaft yesterday." The antique cars were nothing particularly special, but I appreciate their presence nevertheless. I rode the Wacky Worm. It wasn't credit-whoring, though, because I'd never been on one...because I'm not a credit-whore. Most of the big stunts weren't working, though--most disappointingly, the spinning tunnel. The Castle is the park's old school dark ride. Looking back towards the main entrance. The main midway/boardwalk/pier (on the left) connects the front and back sections of the park. Parking is free. +1 for Lake Winnie.

I'll handle this one. Consider Discovery Cove. There's no rides, but: Slightly higher paying than SeaWorld. Free admission to all Busch parks, as well as Universal Orlando. The jobs are really easy and the park is purposely overstaffed. It's really easy to get on and off property (say, for lunch). Uniform consists of a Hawiian shirt, shorts, and sandals. Lot's of attractive guests walking around in bathing suits all day. Free case of beer every month. Universal has its points as well. But the more the idea of working for Disney appeals to you, the less you should actually try it. (They haven't been Walt's parks for a long, long time.)

Lake Winnie - Sunday, August 26, 2007. First time there.

^ And I, for one, am rather excited about the current approach. (In fact, I'm kind of hoping that the Europe trip stays at 50.) You know, no disrespect intended, but it's almost to the point that I get angry when people start to tell R&E how to do this stuff. I mean, geez, go do your own if you're so smart!

^ Sorry, all negatives have been destroyed. Honestly, it's for your own good.

Actually, I did have a pretty good time. And that's really how one should measure the strength of a park, isn't it? They have a proper sit-down restaurant, the Pirate has great air, and I do so enjoy chairlifts. But, even so, the idea that this pleasent, if ghetto-tastic, little park is better than, say, Busch Gardens Europe or Indiana Beach is pretty laughable. On the other hand, maybe the publicity will inspire them to build something better.

This is Erik Elness, reporting live from what TripAdvisor recently named one of the top 10 amusement parks outside of Orlando: Ober Gatlinburg. Ever since the announcement, controversy has swirled around this offbeat choice. Short on traditional amusement park staples like "roller coasters" and "fun," Ober Gatlinburg has instead relied for years on such attributes as a really cool entrance and highly laid back employees in order to snare visitors. But the question remains: Has TripAdvisor finally brought the attention that this long-overlooked park so richly deserves? Or, was it simply a joke thrown in at the last minute to see if anyone was paying attention, perhaps based on a dare from the webmaster's roommate? On the afternoon of August 21st, 2007, we took our secret cameras inside Ober Gatlinburg to find out. So there you have it. Is Ober Gatlinburg really one of the top 10 parks outside of Orlando? I just shoot the pictures. You have decide...for yourself. Still not convinced? Then how about this shocking revelation! Looks like last night's kegger got a little bit out of control, eh Smoky? I'm suddenly struck by something a smelly hippie once told me during an interview about marijuana or something: "No one can own bears, man." It turns out to be an indoor mini-golf course. But, even after putting through the loop, I can see no sign of ever having left this dimension. Back in "The Mall," we stumble across this strange attraction, at the top of an otherwise unmarked staircase. The Go Cart track. And beyond it, one of the winter ski slopes. As you can see, the park rejects traditional notions of "on-stage" and "backstage." Not even at a Six Flags would this be considered good show. A two-story rocking fun house. The attendant lets me go through. Too late, we spot the manufacturer of this attraction. Luckily, there are no problems on our ride. This water slide is called "Blue Cyclone Rapids," but it doesn't look like any rapids ride that I've ever seen. And here's another. On the way back up towards "The Mall," we spot another sign that Ober Gatlinburg may not quite be ready for the big time. It may not look like much, but the track is concrete. And the sled, plastic. At long last, I reach the beginning of the alpine slide. I play along. I may be alone on this chairlift, but I can still kiss when I need to. On the way back up, I spot this sign. Apparently, I'm not the only one taking pictures. I must then travel back up to the midway point. This reporter's reaction? Heading back down, I am not allowed to exit at the midway point to ride the alpine slide, but must instead travel all the way back down to the bottom. Certainly, these employees give no indication that anything is amiss. But, curiously, not much was up there. I had been told that I would have to get off at the halfway point, but upon reaching it, I was allowed to go to the top. A close up view of a patron. She has no idea she's being filmed. The park's star attraction is this alpine slide. To get to it, you have no real choice but to take the chairlift. This chairlift offers a pretty good overview of most of the park--or, at least, the parts they want you to see. This building looks innocent enough, but who knows what depravity might be going on inside? We thought it best to keep moving. Outside, the carcass of one of the old trams has been turned into a snack bar. We pretended to have lunch in this restaurant while we scoped out the park. Note the Pirate, dangerously close to our window. At the top. And we're now inside what Ober Gatlinburg calls "The Mall." We had to be careful that no one saw our cameras, or this investigation would be over before it even started. This is where you catch the Aerial Tram from downtown Gatlinburg and up to the park. The entrance seemed pleasant enough. But would the facade hold up?

Alright, I've decided. And the answer is.... Europe The check is in the mail.

So, it was very much my intention to go on this year's Midwest Trip. I sent in a deposit and everything (which R&E were very kind to return to me when I had to drop out). However, I am going on one of the 2008 trips. I don't care what weirdness life throws at me this year, I'm going. Now I just have to wait for the flyers so I can decide where.

Well, because there wasn't much competition. Raven was one of the first full-sized CCI's, GCI didn't exist yet, and Intamin wasn't building wood. So, you basically had lots of old school woodies (some of which were and are quite fun, of course) and Summers-Dinn stuff. Eliminate all Intamin, CGI, and most CCI/Gravity Group coasters except for Raven from your top ten list and then see how it does. It still might not be your number one, but it would be for a lot of folks. (Especially folks in the industry, who might tend to want to emphasize new over "classic.")

> Is there anything you can do on this ride? Yeah, you can wear your glasses. Still the greatest glasses policy I've ever heard of, by the way: If you wanna bring your glasses, you have to wear them. Which reminds me: At Wild Adventures, I was once told by a Cheetah ride op that I had to remove my glasses and put them in my pocket because if they fell off and landed on the track it could cause the train to derail. Anyway, I do like Holiday World a lot. But, yeah, I could see how a first time visitor could find it overhyped/underwhelming. Me, I'd add a Sky Ride. But I digress. Nice trip report!

Universal Orlando would probably be best, precisely because the property is relatively small. So all the parks and hotels are connected by winding, well-manicured walkways. Disney is more spread out, but I don't think you can actually walk from park to park entirely on sidewalks (which is to say, you'd have to walk on the road). Really nothing much at Seaworld (in terms of walking around, anyway). But, really, if I haven't made it clear enough already (and as an avid walker myself) I would say that best choice by far is Universal/CityWalk.

I would have to go with LoCoSuMo, as well. SoB fits the category, too (but not quite as much as it used to).

Aquatrax. There, now nobody else has to say it.

Um...eleven?

Of course, it's always hard to tell without actually riding the thing, but this definitely looks like my kind of ride. I'm starting to think about a trip to this new-to-me park next year, as well.

About 2 years ago, I donated my car to charity. If I travel, I rent a car. Otherwise, I hoof it, ride my bike, or take public transportation. Yeahm, I'm weird.

Whenever I walk people try to hand me out flyers. And when someone tries to hand me out a flyer, it's kinda like they're saying "Here, you throw this away." -Mitch Hedberg

I finally bought new glasses, after finally giving up on the fantasy that I'm going to get Lasik anytime soon (I am a coward). $300.00, plus $55.00 for the eye exam.

Not normally much of a hip hop fan...but right now I'm listening to the new Aesop Rock song, "None Shall Pass," and really quite enjoying it.

Jesus, someone take Wes's camera away. He's doing it wrong!