Electerik

That's too much. Also, I should probably mention that cameras are not permitted, but it's okay to take pictures with your cell phone. That can't be right. Maybe it's just that there's no flash photography. I've blocked a lot of this out, but I'm pretty sure it's the first one.

Since everybody likes Smisty so much better than me all of a sudden, I'm replacing her with Bryan until you all apologize. Erik & Bryan's Titanic Adventures! Because we're both fat, you see. And also, because we went here: Titanic The Experience In the early days of our courtship, Bryan and I were looking for something romantic and indoors to do, possibly involving a large number of people dying. So where else could we go?? This is the best part of the exhibit, because at this point you still have your illusions. I am Mr. Eugene Daily, 3rd Class Passenger. I enjoy dancing a jig, and being locked in the steerage sections of sinking cruise ships. Bryan paid extra (I made that up) to be a fancy-pants Second Class Passenger, a one Mr. Joseph Laroche. But they fooled him, because they made him a black guy. Ha ha, Bryan, you're dead! "You gentlemen know that you're grown adults, right?" He then quizzed us on how much we'd been paying attention by making us guess which way the boat in the painting was sailing...?! Somehow, we passed. So we got to see this junk. I'm sorry, I shouldn't call it junk. What's an old-timey word for junk? Like, crapola? We kept telling them that we needed separate bedrooms, but they didn't believe us! I don't think there were that many exit signs on the real Titanic. (Or maybe that was the problem...?!) Ah, there's nothing I enjoy more than looking at stairs that I'm not allowed to climb! This ghostly voice was recovered from the wreckage of the Titanic. It now haunts Titanic The Experience here in Orlando. Oh my god, it's Edith! And she's going to crash us! I'm just kidding. This place sucks. Hey, I lived! Sweet! Let's check in on the black dude.... Oh, I'm sorry, Bryan. Better luck next time. I don't think I've ever seen a model of a destroyed thing before. Neat...? Bryan, no! We'll get kicked out! Um...on second thought, touch away. The gift shop is a little sparse. I'm not just being my usual witty self, by the way. That's pretty much the look of the whole "gift shop." Okay, but seriously, can *you* tell which way this ship is sailing? It's devilishly clever! If you think you know the answer, write it down on a clean sheet of 4x6.2 inch paper, fold it in half lengthwise, and then throw it in the trash. Damn, Misty is smart.

^^ While it's true that I don't think very highly of Epcot as an amusement park, it *is* one of my favorite malls. /Just ahead of Uncle Bernie's.

We bought annual passes, have already used them several times, and are still eager to go back--so I would say yes. We tend to like well-balanced parks, rather than being pure thrill-seekers, though. Speaking only for myself, I would rank Florida's theme parks thusly: 1. SeaWorld 2. Islands of Adventure 3. Legoland 4. Busch Gardens 5. Animal Kingdom 6. Universal Studios 7. Hollywood Studios 8. Epcot 9. Magic Kingdom So use my other rankings to put my feelings about Legoland into some sort of context.

We've gone, like, four times now. So no, it's not bad.

Hey, look at that: I control the LINK feature. Who knew?

There are two ways of assessing Legoland Florida. If compared directly to Central Florida's theme park giants--Disney, Universal, and SeaWorld/Busch Gardens--Legoland is a bit small and rough around the edges. On the other hand, if viewed strictly as a kids park, then it must be said that Legoland Florida is the best kids park ever. As someone who hasn't played with Lego in 30 years, my first thought when I saw how the park was divided up, was that there were too many areas, and that they didn't make a whole lot of sense in relation to one another. It was only once I saw today's Lego themed product lines that the whole thing started to make sense to me. Lego Kingdoms In my opinion, Lego Kingdoms is the best, most well-themed area of Legoland Florida. The first thing we come to upon entering the gates is a fun little flat ride by the name of Merlin's Challenge. I honestly don't know who built the thing or what its technical name is, but it's sort of halfway between a Himalaya and one of those old turtle rides. Ooh, a new credit! Er...kind of. Well, it's new for Smisty, anyway. Basically, Legoland took Cypress Gardens' existing Vekoma roller skater, got themselves some new trains, and and added a dark ride section to the beginning of it. The storyline seems to be that you're, um, going through a castle. With the usual drunken monk debauchery. Then Merlin puts an end to the fighting with a magic computer. Unfortunately, this releases a dragon! But it's okay, because Merlin has bats! The transition from the dark ride section to the lift hill is very slow and uneventful, and there's really no theming during the coaster part--but still, it's a dark ride and a fun little roller coaster, so I'm really not complaining. Plus, Legoland's very relaxed when it comes to things like on-ride photography. Unfortunately, they're also very relaxed when it comes to things like directional signage--which makes exiting The Dragon an adventure unto itself. Giftshop Battle Princess Here, we see a real princess getting two little boys to fight over her. The only eatery in the Kingdoms section of the park is Castle Burger. And while the burgers are actually pretty tasty, I can't say that I'm particularly impressed with Legoland's food overall. I just report what I see. Lego pig. (Look, *you* come up with a better caption!) Royal Joust is one of the few attractions at Legoland Florida that adults are not allowed to ride. Which is a shame, since it looks kind of fun. Still, it's hard to complain since there are only two or three things in the entire park that adults can't do. (And there's none of this "adults must have a child" nonsense. Either you can or you can't. And mostly, you can.) The last attraction in Lego Kingdoms is The Forestmen's Hideout. It's a play area, with bridges and climby things. Wait, how did I get up here?? Oh well, guess I'll just have to slide down. Wheee. Oh, bother. Now I seem to inexplicably find my self on the rope and block contraption. Will my perplexity never cease?? "Raven" is the name of our car. So...okay, I guess that makes sense. I'm not sure why these Lego wolves are in a wooden cage. None of the other Lego creatures, dangerous or not, are imprisoned. Good sir! Good sir! The wolves are escaping! Oh, alas! Hark, a means of escape! Oh, alright, I'm done. The princess doubts my self-photo-taking skills. Or, she's just disgusted by us. Hard to say. We certainly aren't disgusted with Legoland, though. In fact, we quite love it. Especially Lego Kingdoms. As always, thanks for reading. Now comment. (Please?)

You'll be hearing from my lawyer.

Well, it's not less good than the rest of Kennedy Space Center....

On Anastasia Island, in St. Augustine, is a confused and somewhat sad 18-hole mini golf establishment called... Anastasia Miniature Golf Yay, mini golf! And ice cream that used to be hand dipped but isn't now, I guess! This back door is apparently the entrance. Yeah, that's the ice cream. I am disappoint. And this is the exit from the club house out onto the course here at Anastasia Miniature Golf. So...this way, then? Do NOT feed the American fish here. You will be arrested. I really like the lumber holding the tree branches up. I think I might add this photo to this thread's index! So...there's a brand new wooden railing on the left, but I have to walk on the right.... Sure, I'll just do that. Thanks for the tip! I can't remember why I took this photo. To show everyone how sweaty I was?? This is just weird. Let me just say that this is way more terrifying in person. All the Smisties look like little smants. Really? I'm with you, Smisty: Let's get out here.

Certainly not! I just miss Dollywood. I'm glad you're taking up the slack!

Harrumph! /Fair enough. //I miss Dollywood.

Florrrrrr...idians...?

^ It was around lunchtime--maybe 1:00pm or so--on an early September weekday. We were quite shocked at how empty it was, ourselves, to be honest. We really didn't know much about it going in. But we quite enjoyed the experience. In other new news.... I mentioned at the end of the update that we were heading to Ohio for vacation. For anyone who may have missed it, here's our Cedar Point/wedding/Merry-Go-Round Museum/random other stuff TR from Sandusky.

It was not crowded at all. At one point, Maverick had a 45 minute wait, but other than that, no ride had more than a 15 minute wait all day. And the houses basically had no lines at all. This was on Sunday, September 25th. I'm told that the park was much busier the day before, and I would suspect that things probably heat up as Halloween approaches.

For me, "water coaster" is a meaningless phrase. It's pretty much just marketing hype for "log flume." /If it floats, it's not a coaster.

Um...he was thin, about six feet tall, with dark hair and muttonchops. Like that?

What, you can't read that?

Welcome back!

You mean, like, scare zones? If so, no. The houses we did weren't bad, with Eerie Estates being the one we liked best. Most of the houses seemed to suffer from the same design problem: large, mostly empty rooms with no clear path or exit. And while that may sound scary, in practice, it's just confusing and awkward--and ultimately results in a scare-actor having to give directions: "Go that way! Booga-booga-booga! Past the lamp!" There were also lots of instances of scare-actors who would jump out to scare you, but then just sort of have to stand there while you filed past, because they didn't really have anywhere to retreat to. Which, again, seems like a house design flaw. But, considering that these things were put together by Cedar Point (who, let us face it, are not exactly kings of theming) and not, say, Universal, I thought they were pretty well done. But, yeah, there is still some room for improvement.

The Beginning Way back in the year 2000, I moved from Southern California to Sandusky, Ohio, to work at Cedar Point for the summer, and to be a part of the opening crew for what-was-then by far the tallest and fastest roller coaster ever built, Millennium Force. They say that the friends you make working at Cedar Point last a lifetime. And, in my case, that certainly seems to be true. That year, I met Seth and Natalie (and they met each other). And this year, I traveled back to Sandusky to be the best man at their wedding. (Two other MF opening crew members were part of the wedding party, as well.) Of course, since we were in Sandusky anyway, we also went to Cedar Point. This was Misty and I's first visit to Cedar Point's HalloWeekends event, and let me tell you, watching a bunch of cartoon monsters do the chicken dance is pretty scary. Ah, but there's more in Sandusky than just Cedar Point! There's also really good ice cream! And, yes, even mini-golf. (Unfortunately, Wizard's Journey at "Ghostly Manor" was the only one that was actually open this late in the season.) It wasn't bad, though. And they had a cool dragon out front. I just wanted more places to be open. Sandusky also has a pretty nice "historic" downtown area... ...the, um, "Boy with the Boot." (Don't ask.) ... ...and fishing, probably. Plus, a Merry-Go-Round Museum! (Even if the sign on top does say, "United States Post Office.") Complete with real working carousel! And angry circus animals! That has kind of a nice ring to it, I think. This lighthouse is rubbish. And not even actually in Sandusky. But you can see Sandusky from there. Be careful.... Whew, I'm glad they put a sign on that one slippery one. Oh, right, we have a wedding to go to! Groomsman Rich makes some final adjustments to Seth's homemade photo booth, while I annoy him by taking pictures of it. I also provided the wacky props. I should have said, "Misty and I provided the wacky props." Sorry, I'm distracted by my fatness. Luckily, DJ was there to make me feel better. The traditional, "Are you sure you wouldn't prefer one of these women?" photo. Or, if you're really freaking out, you can just walk out into the sea. No, you're good? Okay, then: Dancing. Hey, guys, what's your favorite ride at Cedar Point? Yes, I agree. Millennium Force. Not that any of us are biased or anything. Although, I must say, I'm also really fond of their SLC. Only Cedar Point would put a show underneath the outside of an empty theater. On the question of whether CP's HalloWeekends is adult-scary or kid-cutesy, the answer is that it's both, more or less evenly divided. With some things being for the little ones... ...and some things so horrific that even adults know better than to brave them. Alright, let's try some houses. Honestly, while they weren't quite up to California/Florida standards, they're definitely trying. Um...or maybe not. That's almost as bad as the view from our hotel room. Other scary things at Cedar Point include this guy... ...Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds... ...constantly shifting terrain... ...cookies you can't actually eat... ...D-I-Y murals... ...undead former-Disney execs... ...rather painful-looking shoes... ...and penis-shaped Peanuts characters laughing hysterically. We liked this display of rides past. I didn't see this one, though. Smisty finally got her WildCat credit. And she discovered the awesomeness that is Troika. We all got to check out WindSeeker. Which, I hate to say, is rather dull. Weirdly, I think it's less scary than a StarFlyer, possibly because it feels so much more secure. On the other hand, we got to witness Cedar Point employees keep a guest trapped in his restraints until he deleted photos off his camera that he'd taken "illegally." So that was interesting. Oh well, there's still Millennium! And the thing that used to be where it is. (That sentence makes sense, I insist.) He looks like the life of the party. But we've already got a hat. There was a special "kid friendly" house, but we weren't allowed to go in it because we didn't have a child with us. There was no one else in the area, so it certainly wasn't a capacity thing. Oh, right, we're at Cedar Point. And there's nothing in this world that Cedar Point likes more than slavish devotion to bizarre rules. Yeah, I'm a little bitter. We didn't even try to do the kid's maze. I'm sure they would have spit on us. Let's check out "Club Blood" instead. Oh, cool, a dragon! I can't say that I think much of CP's maintenance department these day, either.... This ride is already Halloween themed. I really wanted to do this one (as it goes through Thunder Canyon's ride trough), but it was closed due to "weather." Which started a heated argument between me and Seth--with my belief being that the "weather" in question was that it had been too dry for the corn to properly grow, and Seth's position being that it only operated after sundown, with daylight qualifying as a weather condition. Only Cedar Point knows for sure. To anyone who says that Cedar Point doesn't "get it," I say, look at this thing! It's got a big gear for an eye! All of the water rides were closed for the season, including Shoot the Rapids. But that's okay; We wouldn't have ridden it anyway. After all, we got plenty wet that week elsewhere.... Oh, was that a Meijer?? Best. Store. Ever. And here's why.... I guess Sandusky isn't so bad. It's got some great people... ...and the only museum dedicated to Merry-Go-Rounds in the existence! (Note: Please do not Google "carousel" museum.) In all seriousness, the Merry-Go-Round Museum is absolutely, 100% Erik & Smisty approved, and we highly recommend that you go there the next time you're in Sandusky for whatever reason. Sandusky also has Chet and Matt's Pizza. Which is certainly the only place I've ever seen chili cheese fry pizza. And, of course, there's an amusement park. It's not the best amusement park, mind you, but it does have lots of really cool old-school pinball machines... ...and the best roller coaster that will ever exist. A ride so good that it makes people fall in love, heals minor injuries, and makes kittens fart rainbows. Of course, your mileage may vary. But it will always be special to us. Thanks for reading what I daresay has got to be the weirdest trip report I've ever posted. (And this from the guy who normally posts this kind of crap.) You may also want to check out our completely wedding-free Cedar Point Trip Report from two years ago. But, even if you don't, I applaud you for getting this far. The End See, Rich? I told you I could make an Oddventure out of Seth's wedding.

I really like that they had models of the houses on display. Thanks for posting this!

I rode two of Arrow's better creations yesterday: Magnum and Gemini.

Erik & Smisty will be leaving for vacation tomorrow, so no more Florida updates for at least a couple weeks. But here's a little something to tide you over until then.... The other day, we were wandering around Universal Orlando (as we do), and decided to check out the Royal Pacific Hotel. It was around lunch time, and we hadn't eaten yet, so the thought of trying out one of the hotel's restaurant's did occur. I knew that Tchoup Chop was sort of the high-end, and we weren't looking to spend that much--but as it turns out, their lunch prices are actually fairly reasonable. So we decided to give it a shot. Emeril's Tchoup Chop You can get to Royal Pacific from CityWalk by foot, or by "water taxi." Luckily, I can drive a boat. Tchoup Chop is sort of around the side from the hotel lobby, but right across from the water taxi dock. Adding to our decision to give it a try, it was completely dead. As in, we were the only guests in the restaurant. I know more about Elzar than I do Emeril. In fact, it's not even close. We loved the decor. I want to design my house around a big fountain now. The kitchen. It's hard to see here, but water runs down the grey stones at top. The bar. Random decorations. Because you deserve this photo. I went with the build-your-own bento box. Which was amazing. Smisty played it a little safer. She got a bit braver when it came to dessert, though. You can by Emeril stuff. Hey, I liked it, but I didn't like it that much. Just one of the reasons this hotel always reminds me of Tales of the Gold Monkey. All Hail Doctor Doom! Yeah, this is a weird update. Anyway, Elzar's was good. But tomorrow we're having Toft's, biatches! Bam!

^ I believe it was $100.00. Good hunting!