Electerik

Thanks for the report! Nice to see some more photos of this park. Looks really cool, especially now that everything is open.

^ What? You killed our thread?? Does that mean we can't go to any more crazy tourist traps??? /Sorry, Weeki Wachee.

I really enjoyed the photos I was in. But shame on you, Bryan, for all those tasteless killer whale/human flesh jokes. As you well know, being eaten by Shamu is still statistically safer than visiting LAX or riding Rip Ride Rockit.

Misty wanted to take her dad somewhere for Father's Day, but he didn't want to do anything that was outdoors (because it's summer in Florida) or that would be crowded (because it's summer in Florida). What he did want to do was go see Green Lantern. So, in an effort to make the occasion slightly more special, we took him to Downtown Disney's AMC "Fork & Screen" Dine-In Theater, which we had been wanting to check out anyway. Now, this isn't exactly a new concept. But we had never tried anything like it before. The entrance to the fancy stuff. (Near Planet Hollywood.) If you just want normal movies (without food), there's an entrance on the other side. (By DisneyQuest.) You buy the tickets inside the lobby. Which is nice, because it's Florida. (In fact, I was still a little wobbly from the heat outside, if this photo is any indication.) If you think you can guess what movie Erik & Smisty are about to see, email your answer to "greenlantern@youidiot.com" and maybe someone will send you something! (But probably not.) You can actually order appetizers and such at the bar while you're waiting for your movie to start. Note that the bar's name is "MacGuffins." The theater is semi-age restricted. You must be 18 or older, or accompanied by someone who is. Which makes sense. We did see a handful of children, but I'm pretty sure they were all there to see the new Jim Carrey penguin movie. So this might be a good choice if you find children ruinous to your movie-going experience. If you're not sure what the bar is named after, have a nice sit down and maybe it'll come to you. How it works: 1. Your food will be delivered shortly before the previews start, which means that you'll be done eating about 1 minute into the actual film. 2. No one will offer you dessert. You must summon the server if you want that. 3. Your server will not look like this. 4. It's going to be really expensive. This photo is pointless. The menu is more extensive than I expected (this is just part of it), though there's no steak or lobster to be found here. Pasta, quesadillas, burgers, salads and sandwiches make up the bulk of it. Note how far back from the "table" the chair are. That was kind of weird. Anyway, I had the brisket quesadilla. And while it was quite good, it was a little slight considering that it was $11. Misty got the Bistro Chicken Mac & Cheese, which was also quite good, about the same price, and plentiful. Her dad got a chicken quesadilla and onion rings, and her mom got chicken tenders and fries. Three soft drinks between us, and no desserts. Total price before tip: about $63. That doesn't include the actual movie tickets, incidentally, which were $11 a piece. Was it worth it? Well, I mean, I enjoyed it. It was pretty cool, and it did feel like we were doing something "special." But it's probably not something that just the two of us will feel like we need to do on a regular basis. There was also an option for unlimited popcorn for $7. And drinks have free refills. So you could probably just do that and endlessly snack throughout the movie, summoning your server whenever you run low on something. Of course, either way, you're really gonna have to pee about midway through. It's also worth noting that the theater was fairly bright, even while the movie was showing. Brighter than the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater at Disney Hollywood Studios, to be sure. It didn't bother me, but it was a bit distracting to Misty. And there's no getting around the fact that the servers are a distraction, no matter how much they try not to be. Ours was also not very good. Her response time was ridiculously slow. But most of the other guests did not seem to have that problem. I was just thinking about dessert when the check was dropped off. So then I decided against it. And this is *me,* the guy who usually orders dessert first. Now, I know they tell you that you have to summon your server if you want anything else, but this really seems like a wasted opportunity on their part. Even though it would be a distraction from the film, the servers should ask you if you want dessert at about the midway point. I bet they'd sell a ton of it. After all, you're doing a thing where the whole point is to eat, and you're not eating anymore. Plus, the menu had lots of good dessert options. But I didn't see anyone in the theater getting any. Problem. Still, it was certainly worth doing once. I'd give a B. Of course, I also liked Green Lantern. Your mileage may vary.

Sounds interesting, and I'm glad you enjoyed it--so please understand that this is not directed at you--but "you're not allowed to take photos" will pretty much always equal "we suck and we don't want anyone to know" in my mind.

Yet another bag of crap trip report?! Well, Robb seems to want them, so who am I to argue? There are many like it, but this one is mine. Sneak preview! Yep, same stuff. But really cool stuff! I honestly have no idea what park this is. But what really separates my TR from the rest is that I'm going to show you what's on that "blank" CD.... Yes, it's CE6! Thanks TPR!

The LAX portion of this trip report really brought back a lot of memories for me. Damn you!

Thank you! It's always nice to hear that people appreciate seeing this stuff. But... Barry has friends??

Located on Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway (Kissimmee's tourist strip) is Bonanza Golf & Gifts. Which is quite weird. But why just tell you when we can show you...!? Among other things, Bonanza Golf hosts a CiCi's. For those of you who live in less-civilized parts of the country (or even *gasp* beyond), CiCi's is a pizza buffet chain. And while it's common enough that it wouldn't normally be worthy of an Oddventure, we wanted (you) to get the full Bonanza Golf experience. Let's go ahead and get the "photo that Misty is going to kill me for posting" out of the way, shall we? Chock-full of all the "pretty good for the price" pizza that we could possibly eat, it was time for some mini golf! You must purchase the golf inside the gift shop. But don't get distracted! Hey, what could be more family-friendly than mini golf? This one is for Elissa. And this one is for Barry. Okay, on with the golf! Hmm, too bad "no graffiti" isn't one of the rules, eh? Wait...is that an advertisement for ice cream?! Ah yes, Hershey's! The ice cream that says, "We wanted to sell a name brand, but that's really expensive." Smisty was becoming almost as impatient as you all are to get on with the mini golf, but after all that pizza and ice cream, I really wanted to check out the "clearance" restrooms. On second thought, maybe I'll hold it. Okay, so there are two courses. But they're laid out in a very strange manner. They cross themselves and each other seemingly at random. And since there's no difference in coloring or style between them, it's very easy to suddenly find yourself playing the wrong course or hole midway through. On the other hand, it sort of adds an extra challenge to the courses--and it made us laugh--so I'm not quite willing to say that it's a bad thing, for our purposes. Ask about the "mistery" hole! Looking back from the furthest point on ground level. Note how we'll eventually be playing golf on top of the gift shop and entryway to the parking lot. It's certainly a "mistery" to me how I'm supposed to putt my ball from here. The courses are nice enough. I guess the theme is mining or something...? "Mountain Bob"/Gandalf wishes you luck. Well, why *wouldn't* you have to walk past hole 18 to get to hole 5? Tressle putting! I guess they...haven't quite finished this part. Hole 8? Hole 13? I honestly have no idea what's happening here. This really needs to be my profile picture somewhere. Mini golf, by MC Escher. If you have any idea what the hell is going on here, please write to: Bonanza Golf, 7761 W Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Kissimmee, FL 34747. There appears to be a rock in the way. I just thought this was a nice photo. What, does everything have to be a joke? Well, that's...surprisingly boring. At last we come to the last hole. And how can you tell that it's the last hole...? Ta-da! Oh, crap! Seriously?! You can get married here?? I hope you get to change in the restrooms! Aloha.

Free cupcakes?? I went to a Stark Raven Mad (the precursor of HoliWood Nights) and loved it. But it was fairly busy. Where has everyone gone? Glad to hear that The Legend is your favorite. Not because I agree, but because I sort of feel that The Voyage has stolen all of its thunder. So it's nice to see it still impressing people.

You know, I think Michigan's Adventure is actually a really good fit for Cedar Fair--because it didn't have any charm for them to strip away whilst adding bigger rides. Having said that, MA is only one of three places in the world to get my Arrow Mad Mouse fix! (Totally being serious, by the way. I love those things!)

I've only been to SeaWorld San Antonio once, and that was a few years ago. I really enjoyed Steel Eel, but the animal exhibits were nowhere near as numerous or elaborate as those of SeaWorld Orlando. There were more rides, but that gap seems to be shrinking. And I wasn't too interested in the waterpark. Overall, my impression was that SeaWorld San Antonio perfectly fit the description, "Jack of all trades, master of none." Still, I would take Steel Eel over either Manta or Kraken, personally. Anyway, thanks for the TR! I enjoyed it.

It's on the list, for sure. I'm fact, we were going to do it on our last trip down that way, until we found out that their Ferris wheel was down for rehab. But, yeah, we intend to go.

If Central Florida is dominated by theme parks, then South Florida contents itself with mid-level animal attractions. This is yet another place we'd never even heard of until we started venturing south.... Butterfly World Butterfly World was actually founded in 1998, by a gang of butterflies that were tired of migrating. ...as long as your dreams involve butterflies, and not sex or money. The entry lobby. Admission is $24.95 for adults. It's arranged as a single path self-guided tour. Also worth noting, their FAQ is exactly one question long. Here you can see how Butterfly World's animators draw and color the butterflies. But enough science, let's get on with gawking! There are lots and lots of butterflies in the picture. No, seriously. They're just hard to spot in a still photo. In person, flying around, it's actually quite impressive. Ladies and gentleman, an butterfly! If you like crazy signs, like I do, then really I can't recommend Butterfly World highly enough. This type of butterfly in known as a Flower Humper. There are also lots of butterflies in this photo. Look, just trust me on this. (Crap, this is the worst update ever.) Bananas make you ugly. The "Hanging Gardens" and Emerging area. This leads to the second, larger butterfly aviary. (Or is an aviary just birds? I think it is, actually. Oh well.) Butterflies. THEY ARE THERE. Just keep this in your mind for the next photo of a walkway. This path is wet for some reason. I guess that's okay; It was hot. Wow, those are some expensive butterflies. I like bridges. There are no butterflies in this picture. But the flowers are nice. People molesting butterflies are most certainly not reducing *my* enjoyment. "Um, also please don't molest lizards. Very important." There are, like, 20 photos of Misty in this update--but, for some reason, this is the only one of me. Having left the butterflyatorium, we find ourselves outside. And back into another aviary sort of thing. Only it's an aviary for freaky flowers! Yep, that's pretty weird. I'm not touching that. You can probably guess how this went. The English don't make very nice roses. Anther lorikeet feeding exhibit, another "not gonna happen" from Smisty. I'm never gonna live down the Parrot Mountain incident. Insectarium? Now Misty is excited! But...they're dead. Wait...what? Oh wait, there *are* live ones! (It was hard to stay in here for long though, as there was no air conditioning in this part of the building.) Um.... Holy crap! And this lady has no freaking idea!! This is the greatest, most horrifying thing ever!!! An aviary, you say? Well, I like bridges. "Rawk! Polly want a butterfly!" Never say that our thread isn't educational. Also, why isn't this sign entitled, "Interesting Facts About Hummingbirds"? Welcome to Home Depot. (I love you.) The cafe. We didn't eat here because it looked pretty standard/low rent. Plus, we were saving ourselves for Jaxson's. The double doors on the right lead to the gift shop. The gift shop, however, does not allow photos inside. Which seems odd, because it's pretty standard crap, really. When I inquired as to why photos were not allowed in the gift shop, I was told it was because they had some artwork up on the back wall from an artist who didn't want their work photographed. Now, I can respect that, I guess...but, the whole gift shop? Anyway, here's a photo of said artist's work hanging in the lobby (where photos are allowed), next to a window that looks in at the gift shop. So...yeah. But, other than that bit of pointless and slightly-offensive stupidity, I rather liked Butterfly World. What did you think of Butterfly World, Smisty?

So, stingrays instead of Commersons. I guess this means they're splitting the waterpark off into a second gate? I wonder how the locals will feel about that? Not much of a waterpark guy myself, but I do like Orlando's Aquatica.

It's Intamin. 800 people will ride this in its first week. Maybe. You're going to take pictures? Awesome, that'll give you something to do!

As an atheist, I'd be pissed if I tried to go do something and it was closed because of The Rapture. But yes, going to The Holy Land today would have been perfect. Alas. Of course, we never confirmed Adam's availability, so I may not be the only problem. /Can live without Chick-fil-A.

Well, the name does make it sound kind of slow. "Cheetaka" sounds much faster.

I'm not 100% sure what the situation is in terms of liger "ownership," but I do know that Vulcan and Hercules are brothers (along with two others, Zeus and Sinbad) and I believe that both have been at Jungle Island at one time or another. As for the taking of the photo, it was pretty brief. They brought over the tiger, set it in our laps, took three quick photos (all of which looked exactly the same, in our case), told us to pet it for a couple of seconds, then took it away. So it is pretty much just the photo. But the important thing is that Misty was happy with it. Oh, and when I inquired about getting a digital copy of the photo instead of a physical one, I was told that Jungle Island could put the photo on a CD for me for an additional $50. We went the "use my mom's scanner" route, instead.

I believe it was a Monday. It was a couple of months ago now, though. It just took me a while to do this one, because I knew it would be big.

Some very brief background: Parrot Jungle debuted in Pinecrest, Florida, in 1936, but was bought out by the city in 2003. A new, better location was found, all the animals moved, and the whole place rebuilt on Watson Island in Miami. The result, an attraction with a great deal of history, but all-new infrastructure. Jungle Island The entrance to the two-story garage that serves as Jungle Island's parking lot. The murals are a nice touch. Honestly, we really didn't know what to expect from this place coming in, and were immediately struck by how much bigger it was then we'd thought. An adult ticket is $32.95, but an annual pass is only $10 more. The breezeway that leads to the entrance. Hey look, parrots! Really starting to be impressed, and we've only just walked in. Okay, where to first? I know, let's go right to the middle! The star of Jungle Island is their liger, Vulcan. A liger, of course, is the offspring of a male lion and a female tiger. Ligers are the world's largest cats. Vulcan weighs over 900lbs. (He only looks small here because I am in the photo.) He's not alone, though. he has a couple of tabby tigers to keep him company. "Dude, nobody came here for the tabby tigers." Okay, there are three different shows here, each in their own theater. Time to head to the first one via one of Jungle Island's crazy elevated walkways. Oops, got here a bit early. Let's go see what else is in the area. Jungle Island is very wheelchair friendly. In fact, with the exception of the stadium seats, I don't think there's a single stair in the whole place. But, like the nearby Miami Seaquarium, they don't take much advantage of their awesome views of the city. Ooh, a green albino alligator! Turkey jokes are no. This is a photo of a turtle. Apparently, there's some sort of beach/water play area, but it was closed off that day. Under the stadium is a reptile exhibit. (Which would explain why the stadium is called the serpentarium.) I'm not sure what Smisty is doing over there... ...but this guy sure didn't like it! I don't think I've ever seen an underwater viewing area for alligators. And now we all know why. Okay, time for the show: "The Wild Adventures of Doctor Wasabi." Check. Okay, so the first girl comes out, and says that she's not Doctor Wasabi, she's just an assistant. Then a second girl come out, but doesn't identify herself, and Doctor Wasabi is never mentioned or even obliquely referred to again. Basically, the show is just these two girls bringing different animals out and talking about them. Which is fine, really. At the very least, it gave me a good opportunity to take photos of animals not-in-cages or behind glass, so that was nice. Where it got weird, though, was when the two ladies went into an extended tirade about how women were better than men. It might not have been so bad if there had been a male performer to react--but, as it was, it was just...strange. Leaping lemurs! Then Smisty and some other people we don't care about got to hold a python. African penguins! They swim! It's a show! Too bad they didn't bring the orangutan out; then maybe I could have gotten a decent photo of it. Oh hey, maybe not! Nevermind! So, this is sad. And she's dead. SO WHY EVEN TELL ME ABOUT IT?? Well, hopefully she got thrown into a nice hole somewhere. Hmmm, that "petting barn" looks awful dark in there. Ah! It's an EVIL petting barn!!! I like the implications of this sign. Llama llama llama llama! Smisty is excited for #PostAGoatThursday ! Seeing its opportunity, this pig-thing goes straight for my crotch. Apparently, one of the VIP perks is getting to ride on a tortoise. Which is insane, but not why I'm showing you this. You know you suck when you get bucked by a tortoise. Down goes Frazier! Even the employees can't stop laughing. But don't worry, grandma, no one saw! Oh, wait.... Kangaroo petting is an upcharge. I have no idea why, and am slightly offended by it. But, again, that's not really my point. "Please do not throw anything at the animals"?! Time for lunch, which means walking by Flamingo Lake and right out of the park. Yes, given the opportunity to build a whole new park all at once, Jungle Island chose to make its guests exit through its only restaurant. Way to think outside the box, guys! You actually enter (er, exit) to the upper level, where there are historic Parrot Jungle photographs and displays. Parrot Jungle's founder. According to the folks over at Monkey Jungle, Franz was an acquaintance of Monkey Jungle's founder, Joseph DuMond. Tired of Franz's constant suggestions as to how Monkey Jungle should expand, Joseph reportedly told him to, "Go start your own jungle!" Hank, the Crocosaurus. Which I only just heard of two photos ago. There are gonna be ramps, aren't there? Though the food wasn't anything particularly special, I was impressed by the variety available. After lunch, you must exit the park, cross this courtyard, and go back in through the main entrance. (Hang on to those tickets, kids!) Here's a photo that won't win over any anti-animal-captivity folks: He's trying to chew his way out through the metal grate that he's hanging from! You go, little prairie dog! Wait, so...the only restaurant is at the exit, and the only gift shop is at the entrance? What the hell, Jungle Island? The Lemur Experience is some sort of special (upcharge) tour or something. I don't know. I just think it's weird that it's in the gift shop. But at this point, I don't even know why that should surprise me. Oh cool, they have liger merchandise! ...uh-oh.... Hi, Misty. The outside of the Parrot Bowl. The inside of the Parrot Bowl. This is really the only example, from any of the three shows, of an animal actually "performing." (Which is interesting, since the iconic thing from Parrot Jungle was a bird who rode a bicycle.) Next, they choose a volunteer from the audience to come down and get smacked in the face. Then the birds attack. According to Mr. Dude there, cassowaries are so dangerous that Jungle Island actually has the only one that performs in a show. Now, see if that idea raises any questions for you. Big finish! Adjacent to the Parrot Bowl is this aviary sort of thing. The Manu Encounter has limited hours, though, in the sense that it opens and closes on a schedule throughout the day. Now, you might think that a good time for it to be open is immediately after the bird show. But, obviously, you don't work at Jungle Island. After checking out some other stuff, we returned at the next available time. The terrible employee you see in this photo, sitting on his butt, playing with his cellphone, was five minutes late to open the thing up, though. Not that I'm bitter or anything. When the great parrot/spider-monkey war comes, what side will you be on? The Manu Encounter was actually really cool. I mean, it's like an aviary, but there are lizards and monkeys in it, too! I spent a lot of time trying to get all three critters in one photo. Try to be impressed. Fish are nice. [i'm not proud of that caption, but it's all I've got.] Unsurprisingly, Parrot Jungle Island also has lots of birds. I'm not sure why, but I really like the little photo of Truman next to this bird. Parrots do not like Coca-Cola. Lorikeet feeding. Smisty refused to even go in, still scarred from her experience at Parrot Mountain. Actually, this whole area reminded me a lot of Parrot Mountain. Minus the Jesus statues, of course. Art! Not a bird! Hey, it's one of those trees! Yes, I am fat. But look at this sprinkler! The Rare Plant Nursery appears to be an attempt to turn a backstage-area-that-you-have-to-have-anyway into an attraction. But it might work better if the plants were...oh, I don't know...labeled? "If you want to go to either of these two things, we can't help you." I've come to the conclusion that Jungle Island's visitors HATE ANIMALS. Look, turtles! Quick, give me something to throw at them! Our last show is Tale of the Tiger. (Er, Wild Encounters?) And it involves bringing animals out and showing them to you. Ooh, I found OUR section! So, the show starts with some slutty-looking chicks coming out and playing the drums. So that's pretty awesome. But I know that what you really want to see is pussy. Everyone's a critic. Captions aren't easy, you know! This was really lame. Lamer even than my captions. She brings out a real skunk, but has a water-sprayer hidden underneath and pretends to "skunk-spray" the audience. Apparently, dressing slutty *is* very helpful when working with big cats. Gibbons are very well-mannered. And then they start hawking photos. This photo cost me $60. I wish I was kidding. It's nice, though, isn't it? Please tell me it's nice. Goodbye, Tiger Theater! Goodbye, Flamingo Lake! And goodbye, Jungle Island! You were different from what we were expecting, but we had fun!

^ Well, yes, he was supposed to. An audition was done, but I've no idea if that recording survives. Presumably, Billy West's version of Zapp is similar, or perhaps even a tribute in some way to what Phil did. At the very least, it sounds like like they both did a "50% Captain Kirk, 50% actual William Shatner" sort of thing with it. Fry's first name is "Philip" in tribute to Phil Hartman, by the way.

Close, but not quite. You're thinking of Phil Hartman, who is in Under New Management, and was supposed to play Zapp, but died before any actual recording. So Billy West ended up playing Zapp (as well as Fry, Zoidberg, and the Professor), but is not in Under New Management, to my knowledge. /Futurama nerd.

Same. I liked it the first time I played it. But I'm a bit upset that they removed all the sand from the sand traps. They're also weirdly insistent on telling you how to play on it, to the degree that employees will come up and correct you if you insist on playing the ball where it lies or going over 6 strokes (for example).

Hooray! Under New Management's only good part was the first few seconds, when they played the old version, just to rub it in that you could have been enjoying yourself if you were watching the old show. Then came the screeching. Good news, indeed!