Electerik

Really? Awesome! Um...why?

Located in Tampa, literally right behind The Florida Aquarium, is the American Victory Ship & Museum. The SS American Victory is a World War II-era ship. But, um, not really a warship, exactly. But it did do stuff during WWII, I think. Possibly even for our side. Or maybe England. Honestly, the history of the ship--which you would think would be on full display--is so little mentioned and seemingly obfuscated as to create some doubt in my mind as to whether or not it's even really even a boat. And, if it is, whether or not it belonged to Hitler. Let me give you an example. This is from the ship's website, under "History:" So there you go. But enough words. Time to let the photos confuse you.... Located conveniently behind the aquarium's dumpsters. Just follow the smell! If you like things that are boring--and really, really gray--then you'll love the SS American Victory! The ship's original name was the SS Swastika, and was powered by a combination of goat's blood and children's tears. Admission is $10. Which is cheap if you compare it to burning a $50 bill for no reason. Donations? But I just paid.... The USS Saucy? Really? The exciting knot-tying exhibit! This is how naval officers used to sit. I am the devil. And I have gone so fast I've flipped us upsidedown. And there's a robotic mini-sub. Because that belongs here. Wait, the "Merchant Navy"? Was this ship part of a Village People tribute band? [Note: I do not actually know what that joke means, but it made me laugh.] Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the water? A: Seaman. And now that the nonsensical seaman joke is over, it's time to introduce mom. Hi, mom! There was something funny about the lifeboats, but I forgot what it was. Anyway, here's a lifeboat. And also, we're outside now. Pretend it's a lift-chain. It's not, though. It's rope. "Smisty, try to pretend that the thing you're looking at is interesting." - "I am!" Francis always did like to shoot things. I'm writing these captions as fast as I can for some reason. Can you tell? Did you see that movie, "The Final Countdown"? That was cool. ...for boredom! Crew quarters. Note the sissy who sleeps with a hardhat! Bathrooms haven't really changed that much. And men still don't clean them. The kitchen. Or, as it's called on naval vessels, "The Starmast." The captain gets his own room, and the finest porn of that era. Note the antiquated computer. At sea, it could take up to 4 days to download one tranny porn video! The map room. Sadly, all they had back then was one map. And it was a map of Iowa. The radio room. Also, where you went if you wanted to practice your typing. Here's where you can volunteer to wear a goofy hat FOR YOUR COUNTRY. Let's review what WWII-era naval personnel drank while at sea: rusty drinking water, "emergency" drinking water, something labeled "Discard," and lighter fluid. Damned hippies. And, I guess, kind of a gift shop. I want some drinking water and a coffer dam! All proceeds from admission to the American Victory Ship & Museum go directly towards shooting disadvantaged children. If you found this update entertaining in any way, then you might be Merchant Marine material!

Nice photos! I'll go one further and say that Toft's is the best thing in Sandusky, period. (Millennium Force is second.) And Caveman Chocolate is my favorite flavor.

No.

I recently got the chance to guest star on an episode of The Bryan and Adam Show--a real 'dream come true' for me. I was pretty much geeking out the whole time, and I took about a million "behind the scenes" photos. I'm not going to post them all--because, quite frankly, many are simply too personal--but I thought you might all be interested in getting a glimpse of just how much hard work goes into these things.... Behind the Scenes of "The Bryan and Adam Show" The only photo I got with the guys that I feel comfortable sharing. Adam is (sweetly) pretending to be awestruck by me, while Bryan has only just realized that we're not at Epcot. At one point, we had to immerse Bryan in an environment made-up entirely of Nemos and Dorys, just to battle the Disney-withdrawals he was experiencing. Here, Bryan (left, I think) and Adam (the other one) discuss camera angles on what would become the signature "Bryan and Erik pretend they're jumping into the stingray pool" photos. This conversation lasted nearly two hours--but, as I'm sure you'll agree, the final results were well worth it! Thanks again, Brian and Amad, for letting me hang out with you! We'll have to do it again sometime! (Please do not call me personally. My publicist will contact you in approximately 30-90 days.)

Thanks for the report! Nice to see some more photos of this park. Looks really cool, especially now that everything is open.

^ What? You killed our thread?? Does that mean we can't go to any more crazy tourist traps??? /Sorry, Weeki Wachee.

I really enjoyed the photos I was in. But shame on you, Bryan, for all those tasteless killer whale/human flesh jokes. As you well know, being eaten by Shamu is still statistically safer than visiting LAX or riding Rip Ride Rockit.

Misty wanted to take her dad somewhere for Father's Day, but he didn't want to do anything that was outdoors (because it's summer in Florida) or that would be crowded (because it's summer in Florida). What he did want to do was go see Green Lantern. So, in an effort to make the occasion slightly more special, we took him to Downtown Disney's AMC "Fork & Screen" Dine-In Theater, which we had been wanting to check out anyway. Now, this isn't exactly a new concept. But we had never tried anything like it before. The entrance to the fancy stuff. (Near Planet Hollywood.) If you just want normal movies (without food), there's an entrance on the other side. (By DisneyQuest.) You buy the tickets inside the lobby. Which is nice, because it's Florida. (In fact, I was still a little wobbly from the heat outside, if this photo is any indication.) If you think you can guess what movie Erik & Smisty are about to see, email your answer to "greenlantern@youidiot.com" and maybe someone will send you something! (But probably not.) You can actually order appetizers and such at the bar while you're waiting for your movie to start. Note that the bar's name is "MacGuffins." The theater is semi-age restricted. You must be 18 or older, or accompanied by someone who is. Which makes sense. We did see a handful of children, but I'm pretty sure they were all there to see the new Jim Carrey penguin movie. So this might be a good choice if you find children ruinous to your movie-going experience. If you're not sure what the bar is named after, have a nice sit down and maybe it'll come to you. How it works: 1. Your food will be delivered shortly before the previews start, which means that you'll be done eating about 1 minute into the actual film. 2. No one will offer you dessert. You must summon the server if you want that. 3. Your server will not look like this. 4. It's going to be really expensive. This photo is pointless. The menu is more extensive than I expected (this is just part of it), though there's no steak or lobster to be found here. Pasta, quesadillas, burgers, salads and sandwiches make up the bulk of it. Note how far back from the "table" the chair are. That was kind of weird. Anyway, I had the brisket quesadilla. And while it was quite good, it was a little slight considering that it was $11. Misty got the Bistro Chicken Mac & Cheese, which was also quite good, about the same price, and plentiful. Her dad got a chicken quesadilla and onion rings, and her mom got chicken tenders and fries. Three soft drinks between us, and no desserts. Total price before tip: about $63. That doesn't include the actual movie tickets, incidentally, which were $11 a piece. Was it worth it? Well, I mean, I enjoyed it. It was pretty cool, and it did feel like we were doing something "special." But it's probably not something that just the two of us will feel like we need to do on a regular basis. There was also an option for unlimited popcorn for $7. And drinks have free refills. So you could probably just do that and endlessly snack throughout the movie, summoning your server whenever you run low on something. Of course, either way, you're really gonna have to pee about midway through. It's also worth noting that the theater was fairly bright, even while the movie was showing. Brighter than the Sci-Fi Dine-In Theater at Disney Hollywood Studios, to be sure. It didn't bother me, but it was a bit distracting to Misty. And there's no getting around the fact that the servers are a distraction, no matter how much they try not to be. Ours was also not very good. Her response time was ridiculously slow. But most of the other guests did not seem to have that problem. I was just thinking about dessert when the check was dropped off. So then I decided against it. And this is *me,* the guy who usually orders dessert first. Now, I know they tell you that you have to summon your server if you want anything else, but this really seems like a wasted opportunity on their part. Even though it would be a distraction from the film, the servers should ask you if you want dessert at about the midway point. I bet they'd sell a ton of it. After all, you're doing a thing where the whole point is to eat, and you're not eating anymore. Plus, the menu had lots of good dessert options. But I didn't see anyone in the theater getting any. Problem. Still, it was certainly worth doing once. I'd give a B. Of course, I also liked Green Lantern. Your mileage may vary.

Sounds interesting, and I'm glad you enjoyed it--so please understand that this is not directed at you--but "you're not allowed to take photos" will pretty much always equal "we suck and we don't want anyone to know" in my mind.

Yet another bag of crap trip report?! Well, Robb seems to want them, so who am I to argue? There are many like it, but this one is mine. Sneak preview! Yep, same stuff. But really cool stuff! I honestly have no idea what park this is. But what really separates my TR from the rest is that I'm going to show you what's on that "blank" CD.... Yes, it's CE6! Thanks TPR!

The LAX portion of this trip report really brought back a lot of memories for me. Damn you!

Thank you! It's always nice to hear that people appreciate seeing this stuff. But... Barry has friends??

Located on Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway (Kissimmee's tourist strip) is Bonanza Golf & Gifts. Which is quite weird. But why just tell you when we can show you...!? Among other things, Bonanza Golf hosts a CiCi's. For those of you who live in less-civilized parts of the country (or even *gasp* beyond), CiCi's is a pizza buffet chain. And while it's common enough that it wouldn't normally be worthy of an Oddventure, we wanted (you) to get the full Bonanza Golf experience. Let's go ahead and get the "photo that Misty is going to kill me for posting" out of the way, shall we? Chock-full of all the "pretty good for the price" pizza that we could possibly eat, it was time for some mini golf! You must purchase the golf inside the gift shop. But don't get distracted! Hey, what could be more family-friendly than mini golf? This one is for Elissa. And this one is for Barry. Okay, on with the golf! Hmm, too bad "no graffiti" isn't one of the rules, eh? Wait...is that an advertisement for ice cream?! Ah yes, Hershey's! The ice cream that says, "We wanted to sell a name brand, but that's really expensive." Smisty was becoming almost as impatient as you all are to get on with the mini golf, but after all that pizza and ice cream, I really wanted to check out the "clearance" restrooms. On second thought, maybe I'll hold it. Okay, so there are two courses. But they're laid out in a very strange manner. They cross themselves and each other seemingly at random. And since there's no difference in coloring or style between them, it's very easy to suddenly find yourself playing the wrong course or hole midway through. On the other hand, it sort of adds an extra challenge to the courses--and it made us laugh--so I'm not quite willing to say that it's a bad thing, for our purposes. Ask about the "mistery" hole! Looking back from the furthest point on ground level. Note how we'll eventually be playing golf on top of the gift shop and entryway to the parking lot. It's certainly a "mistery" to me how I'm supposed to putt my ball from here. The courses are nice enough. I guess the theme is mining or something...? "Mountain Bob"/Gandalf wishes you luck. Well, why *wouldn't* you have to walk past hole 18 to get to hole 5? Tressle putting! I guess they...haven't quite finished this part. Hole 8? Hole 13? I honestly have no idea what's happening here. This really needs to be my profile picture somewhere. Mini golf, by MC Escher. If you have any idea what the hell is going on here, please write to: Bonanza Golf, 7761 W Irlo Bronson Memorial Highway, Kissimmee, FL 34747. There appears to be a rock in the way. I just thought this was a nice photo. What, does everything have to be a joke? Well, that's...surprisingly boring. At last we come to the last hole. And how can you tell that it's the last hole...? Ta-da! Oh, crap! Seriously?! You can get married here?? I hope you get to change in the restrooms! Aloha.

Free cupcakes?? I went to a Stark Raven Mad (the precursor of HoliWood Nights) and loved it. But it was fairly busy. Where has everyone gone? Glad to hear that The Legend is your favorite. Not because I agree, but because I sort of feel that The Voyage has stolen all of its thunder. So it's nice to see it still impressing people.

You know, I think Michigan's Adventure is actually a really good fit for Cedar Fair--because it didn't have any charm for them to strip away whilst adding bigger rides. Having said that, MA is only one of three places in the world to get my Arrow Mad Mouse fix! (Totally being serious, by the way. I love those things!)

I've only been to SeaWorld San Antonio once, and that was a few years ago. I really enjoyed Steel Eel, but the animal exhibits were nowhere near as numerous or elaborate as those of SeaWorld Orlando. There were more rides, but that gap seems to be shrinking. And I wasn't too interested in the waterpark. Overall, my impression was that SeaWorld San Antonio perfectly fit the description, "Jack of all trades, master of none." Still, I would take Steel Eel over either Manta or Kraken, personally. Anyway, thanks for the TR! I enjoyed it.

It's on the list, for sure. I'm fact, we were going to do it on our last trip down that way, until we found out that their Ferris wheel was down for rehab. But, yeah, we intend to go.

If Central Florida is dominated by theme parks, then South Florida contents itself with mid-level animal attractions. This is yet another place we'd never even heard of until we started venturing south.... Butterfly World Butterfly World was actually founded in 1998, by a gang of butterflies that were tired of migrating. ...as long as your dreams involve butterflies, and not sex or money. The entry lobby. Admission is $24.95 for adults. It's arranged as a single path self-guided tour. Also worth noting, their FAQ is exactly one question long. Here you can see how Butterfly World's animators draw and color the butterflies. But enough science, let's get on with gawking! There are lots and lots of butterflies in the picture. No, seriously. They're just hard to spot in a still photo. In person, flying around, it's actually quite impressive. Ladies and gentleman, an butterfly! If you like crazy signs, like I do, then really I can't recommend Butterfly World highly enough. This type of butterfly in known as a Flower Humper. There are also lots of butterflies in this photo. Look, just trust me on this. (Crap, this is the worst update ever.) Bananas make you ugly. The "Hanging Gardens" and Emerging area. This leads to the second, larger butterfly aviary. (Or is an aviary just birds? I think it is, actually. Oh well.) Butterflies. THEY ARE THERE. Just keep this in your mind for the next photo of a walkway. This path is wet for some reason. I guess that's okay; It was hot. Wow, those are some expensive butterflies. I like bridges. There are no butterflies in this picture. But the flowers are nice. People molesting butterflies are most certainly not reducing *my* enjoyment. "Um, also please don't molest lizards. Very important." There are, like, 20 photos of Misty in this update--but, for some reason, this is the only one of me. Having left the butterflyatorium, we find ourselves outside. And back into another aviary sort of thing. Only it's an aviary for freaky flowers! Yep, that's pretty weird. I'm not touching that. You can probably guess how this went. The English don't make very nice roses. Anther lorikeet feeding exhibit, another "not gonna happen" from Smisty. I'm never gonna live down the Parrot Mountain incident. Insectarium? Now Misty is excited! But...they're dead. Wait...what? Oh wait, there *are* live ones! (It was hard to stay in here for long though, as there was no air conditioning in this part of the building.) Um.... Holy crap! And this lady has no freaking idea!! This is the greatest, most horrifying thing ever!!! An aviary, you say? Well, I like bridges. "Rawk! Polly want a butterfly!" Never say that our thread isn't educational. Also, why isn't this sign entitled, "Interesting Facts About Hummingbirds"? Welcome to Home Depot. (I love you.) The cafe. We didn't eat here because it looked pretty standard/low rent. Plus, we were saving ourselves for Jaxson's. The double doors on the right lead to the gift shop. The gift shop, however, does not allow photos inside. Which seems odd, because it's pretty standard crap, really. When I inquired as to why photos were not allowed in the gift shop, I was told it was because they had some artwork up on the back wall from an artist who didn't want their work photographed. Now, I can respect that, I guess...but, the whole gift shop? Anyway, here's a photo of said artist's work hanging in the lobby (where photos are allowed), next to a window that looks in at the gift shop. So...yeah. But, other than that bit of pointless and slightly-offensive stupidity, I rather liked Butterfly World. What did you think of Butterfly World, Smisty?

So, stingrays instead of Commersons. I guess this means they're splitting the waterpark off into a second gate? I wonder how the locals will feel about that? Not much of a waterpark guy myself, but I do like Orlando's Aquatica.

It's Intamin. 800 people will ride this in its first week. Maybe. You're going to take pictures? Awesome, that'll give you something to do!

As an atheist, I'd be pissed if I tried to go do something and it was closed because of The Rapture. But yes, going to The Holy Land today would have been perfect. Alas. Of course, we never confirmed Adam's availability, so I may not be the only problem. /Can live without Chick-fil-A.

Well, the name does make it sound kind of slow. "Cheetaka" sounds much faster.

I'm not 100% sure what the situation is in terms of liger "ownership," but I do know that Vulcan and Hercules are brothers (along with two others, Zeus and Sinbad) and I believe that both have been at Jungle Island at one time or another. As for the taking of the photo, it was pretty brief. They brought over the tiger, set it in our laps, took three quick photos (all of which looked exactly the same, in our case), told us to pet it for a couple of seconds, then took it away. So it is pretty much just the photo. But the important thing is that Misty was happy with it. Oh, and when I inquired about getting a digital copy of the photo instead of a physical one, I was told that Jungle Island could put the photo on a CD for me for an additional $50. We went the "use my mom's scanner" route, instead.

I believe it was a Monday. It was a couple of months ago now, though. It just took me a while to do this one, because I knew it would be big.